Chapter 25
There’s no rhyme nor reason as to who Evella blesses.
Some Anomalies are made of stardust, creatures of unconditional kindness and love, bringing joy to anyone fortunate enough to cross their path.
Others wield their power selfishly, leaving nothing but trampled footprints of misery and pain.
Some of us are truly the children of Evella and others, the spawn of Vyrus himself.
— FOREWORD FOR MRS GLESNI GRACE’S ADVICE FOR MENTORS: THIRD EDITION
I shut myself off from the pain in Matthias’s eyes as he looked to where I stood. He’d grimaced as I’d silently turned from him and walked away, wrapping my arms around my chest, desperate to quell the ravenous demands of violet threads.
A sea of people surrounded Keya Grace’s funeral pyre as the Sister of Evella finished her eulogy. The full moon shone mournfully over those gathered to say farewell, while my insides swirled with something more sinister than mere grief.
I scrutinised my mentor, tampering down the serpent gnawing at my soul, demanding release. It was hard to see in this light, but Glesni’s thin lips trembled as she held her chin high, her bright dark eyes set proudly on the body of her wife. A body my gift seemed intent on waking.
‘Keya chose the path of helping those in need, blessing us all,’ the Sister said, her low, lilting voice carrying across the bowed heads of the mourners. ‘May Evella welcome you with the honour you’ve earned, Keya Grace.’
Anomalies were welcomed back into the breast of Evella upon our deaths.
Regardless of any sin we may have committed on Eusis, she’d forgive us.
If she didn’t, our souls would spend eternity in the company of Vyrus, who’d punish us for tempting his wife and love away.
The Sister scattered drops of sacred oil over Keya’s body and stepped down, nodding to Glesni.
The woman took a deep breath and a single step forward.
Although my mentor was a head shorter than I, she somehow towered over us at that moment.
The dark threads within constricted my heart, and I stifled a cry of pain.
‘When I was a child and my mother sent me to be trained, I was weak, scared. I’d no idea what future I faced as I stepped across the threshold of the training house.
’ Her head drooped, a grin on her thin lips.
‘Little did I know, Evella would intervene in my life once more. Gifting me the greatest love imaginable. That the girl with the shining black braids and the biggest, brownest eyes I’d ever seen, was the missing piece of my heart.
‘Each and every one of us here was blessed by Evella simply because we knew her.’ Glesni faltered, her voice breaking.
Matthias, who now held the flaming torch, placed his other hand on Glesni’s trembling arm. She nodded, took a deep breath and raised her chin once more.
‘There’s a saying, isn’t there? My better half… Keya truly was my better half. My whole life, she was my wife, my heart and soul. The guiding light within an ever-growing dark.’
Glesni tilted her head, her dark eyes shining as the silver moonlight danced across her withered face.
‘I-I don’t understand how the universe keeps going. Does the moon not know she’s gone? Does she not understand what we’ve lost?’
I swallowed down the lump in my throat, wishing I still had Matthias and his steadying hand to cling to. Glesni cleared her throat, taking the torch from him.
‘Perhaps she knows Keya’s kindness made this world a better place.
Perhaps the moon hopes each and every one of us here will carry a little part of Keya within us and, every day, we’ll strive to make this a world to be proud of.
Farewell, my heart. I don’t know how I’ll face the morn without you.
When I find your embrace on the other side, I’ll never let go. ’
My fists clenched as threads, some violet, some lavender, twined around my soul. As Glesni lit the pyre and stepped back, keeping her eyes on her beloved for the final time, I fought them back with each frantic beat of my heart.
Even with every fibre of my being holding back the damned darkness, Keya’s eyes flickered open, before the flames consumed her and they finally stilled.
As the blaze stuttered and I shivered against the chill of the night, my head pounding and a trickle of blood seeping down my top lip, Glesni turned from the ashes, setting her cool gaze on me.
‘You and I need to have some harsh words, girl.’
I said nothing, but gave my mentor a weak nod.
I received a fierce glare from Glesni when I offered to help her make the tea.
‘I’ve watched Keya’ – she winced as she said her wife’s name aloud – ‘make several brews a day.’
Her face screwed up as she hoisted the large copper kettle over the hearth, and she groaned, rubbing her hip. ‘Bet she’s up there laughing at how badly I’m fucking this up.’
‘At least let me get the mugs.’
‘No,’ she said, patting Pablo before grabbing some stale bread from the board and tossing it to him. ‘I need to be busy. Keep going.’
I glanced around the room. It already seemed cooler, emptier. The wilting plants still lay scattered across every surface. Keya’s pestle and mortar remained on the table. I peered at Glesni’s features as she passed me a mug, settling opposite me.
I inhaled the strange scent and eyed her over the top of the steaming mug, one eyebrow raised. It made it impossible to see, but I’m certain the old woman grinned. Taking a tentative sip of the sourest concoction ever, my mouth almost decreased half in size.
She chuckled as I blinked away the tears.
‘Lemon?’ I asked weakly.
‘Hmm,’ she said, ‘plus a few other bits and bobs.’
I placed the cup on the table, my eyes watering. Glesni made a face and placed her mug next to mine.
‘It’s awful, isn’t it?’ she said.
‘Tea making is not your gift.’
She shook her head, her eyes glazing over for a moment. ‘I should have learned. Should have listened when I had the chance.’
We sat in silence as I sought the smallest sliver of sympathy to make this less painful for her. Eventually, she set her gaze on me and I took a deep breath, digging my nails into my palms.
‘Did Matthias tell you about the night he brought you home?’ she said, the candlelight setting her face in a grotesque shadow.
I wanted to argue this wasn’t my home, but it was increasingly obvious my heart disagreed. I shook my head.
‘That stupid man of yours dragged me from my bed in the middle of night. I’d have slapped him across that beautiful face of his, but I could tell from the haunted look in his eyes something was wrong.
He sat me down. Told me he’d brought you back.
Needed me to mentor you. Told me what happened in the fog.
’ She frowned at Pablo who was sniffing a flopping lily, before sneezing as the pollen exploded up his nose.
‘He was terrified you’d die and also a bit in awe you were still living. But then he told me how strange it was.’ She leaned forward, tilted her head. ‘Told me about the sparrow.’
The air dissipated; a chill clawed down my rigid spine. I closed my eyes, bit my cheek, and prayed to Evella I wouldn’t need to face this.
Glesni sighed. ‘Do you know what your husband told me, Sorrow Elmswood?’
I met her gaze, my lips firmly closed, and the old woman huffed.
‘Well, it was long ago. Perhaps you forgot? He said it was odd Evella gifted you with the power to control the beasts. He’d always thought you had a different gift. Matthias told me how you’d found a sparrow in the jaws of that big old ginger tom you hated.’ She stopped talking.
Heat rose up my face at the intensity of her stare.
‘You should have seen the way his eyes lit up as he told me how you chased that cat up a tree, how determined you were to save the little sparrow. It’s rather noble by the way. To place such value on the life of a creature others deem insignificant.
‘Anyway, Matthias said you managed to follow it up a tree. The cat hissed, spat the sparrow out before it scratched a good few chunks out of you.
‘You still wanted to save that sparrow though. You jumped down, twisted your ankle and gathered it up in your hands.’
‘It was stunned,’ I said, my voice trembling as much as my hands. ‘The sparrow. It was only stunned. Matthias thought it was dead, but—’
‘It was dead, girl. It had been mauled by a cat and fell eight feet from a tree onto cobblestones. Matthias said he saw the blood seeping from its shattered skull.’
‘He was wrong.’
She huffed her frustration. It was getting harder and harder to get the words out as my throat constricted.
‘He was right, girl, and you know it. You held a dead sparrow in your hands and a minute later it flew away. Attacked the cat, by all accounts.’
I slammed my hand on the table, leaping up, scattering the mugs.
‘Stunned! It was stunned! I made it attack the cat. It was me.’
‘Stupid, stupid girl.’ Glesni was in my face, her features twisted. ‘You’re a De—’
‘Don’t you dare say it.’ Tears streamed down my face.
‘Deviant.’ The old mentor raised her chin, crossed her arms and stared at me.
I glared at her, at the wry smile hooking up her thin lips as my ragged breaths heaved. Pablo was there, offering a whine.
‘I can’t.’
She tilted her head, leaned forward and tried to take my hand, but I snatched it back.
‘Have you even tried?’
Panic flooded me, and I shook my head, clenched my tingling fingers. Visions of blood, the screams of a little girl. Mama. I shut them down. Swiped the tears from my cheeks.
‘How do you suggest I practise on the dead, Glesni?’ My hair had unravelled from my unkempt braid and I dragged my fingers through it.
She snorted. ‘People die every day.’
‘And they have families, friends, those who love them. Do you think they’d want me to bring back a thoughtless beast wearing the skin of the one they’ve lost? If you think I was a fucking liability with a mouse, you should see what I do with a corpse.’
‘I know you well enough to know I can’t force you to do this, even with the threat of the blight ready to steal your mind.
But what about Matthias? Keya…’ The old woman swallowed, took a deep breath before starting again.
‘Keya and I had a whole lifetime together. I don’t regret a single moment I spent in her company.
This is the future you can have with a man who’d sacrifice his kingdom for you.
At least give yourselves a chance. Think, child.
A life filled with more love, more friends than others could dream of. Do it for them, Sorrow. Do it for him.’
I shook my head, swiped the tears and headed to the door. I faced Pablo who hesitated, his head swivelling between Glesni and me. As I called him, he stared at Glesni, before she nodded and the wolf came.
‘I-I tried. The dead… something is missing. The… devastation I cause. I can’t face it, Glesni.
I can’t. I only need to last long enough to help him,’ I said, standing straighter and halting my shuddering breaths.
‘To help all of you. I’ve lasted longer than anyone would have given me credit for. Don’t write me off yet.’
I clung to Pab, tighter than usual, and stormed away. As I slammed the door, she muttered under her breath.
‘Stupid, stubborn girl.’