Chapter 15 Ariana
ARIANA
Nerves prickled my skin as I stood there, just outside the room that housed the party.
Olive fretted over my hair while we waited. She had re-done the stones that were braided and looped into the left side of my head, while the right hung freely with loose curls.
“For not growing up as a Bavadrin, you are quite skilled at this,” I commented as her fingers did a last check of the work on my wild mane.
Olive smiled. “I never back down from a challenge of design, whether it be a gown or something else.” Suddenly she straightened as if she heard something that I did not.
Large, warm eyes turned to me as she practically bounced on her toes.
“It’s time!” She spun me around and gently pushed me through a door.
I didn’t have a chance to ask if she would join before entering an enormously beautiful ballroom. Pillars supported a remarkably tall and skillfully painted ceiling. Artists crafted the entire palace into an enchanted castle.
Tables filled half the room, while the other remained free for dancing and mingling.
At the far end of the chamber were massive archways framed by soft, flowing fabric leading to a balcony.
As I moved into the space, it felt like hundreds of eyes landed on me, but I saw none of them, for my attention snapped to the Sidhe King.
“Ariana, the Leader Superior of the Bavadrins.” He announced, and though he simply spoke the words, all heard his voice.
Clause’s icy gaze traveled down the length of me, taking in the deep red fabric clinging to every curve before flowing to the floor.
A chill raced through me, stemming from everywhere that his eyes touched, before rising to meet with mine once more.
He tilted his head towards the table at his side, a silent command to join him and the others already seated.
Half of them with necks nearly breaking to get a good look at me, their King’s new puppet.
Gritting my teeth, I closed the gap between us. Those still standing parted for me, providing a path to their King. Somehow, besides the immense space of the room, I found myself at his side in hardly any time.
He wore black, of course. I tried not to dwell on what Edda once told me, that black was best for hiding blood.
I’d learned that firsthand, helping an injured child at the orphanage.
Head wounds bled more than I ever imagined.
The little girl was fine, thank the Spirit, but my dress had been soaked. Was that why he favored the color?
“Olive outdid herself. You are absolutely stunning,” Clause commented, taking my hand in his and bringing a knuckle to his lips. Though the touch was fleeting, I barely resisted the urge to yank my hand from him.
His presence was commanding, even without brute size. Broad shoulders narrowed into a lean waist, and his long legs moved with an effortless, fluid grace. As if he was more feline than man, all quiet strength and lethal elegance.
“Thanks. Maybe I will take her with me when I leave,” I said with a tight smile. This was now a strange game I played, tiptoeing an edge where I wondered how far his hospitality towards me would go if I continued to stand my ground without apology.
It did not bother him in the least. Instead, a smirk curled at his lips, and he gently led me to the table where he introduced me to several men, none of whose names I cared to commit to memory.
The only familiar face was that of Malavika, someone I had not seen since my arrival.
She flashed a smile at me, though the hate in her eyes was palpable.
I sat in the seat directly at Clause’s side.
It was the first time we didn’t have an entire table between us while we ate, and I missed having that buffer.
For the first several minutes, the men practically kissed the floor their King walked on with their words.
Praise and agreement were the only things thrown Clause’s way.
Useless yes men, all of them. The worst part was they did not appear to possess any useful knowledge of the lands or their King. The smartest of Clause’s minions at the table was likely Mal, and given our previous encounter, I doubted she would be easy to discretely pull information from.
They droned on and on about absolutely nothing of importance. My gaze drifted to the side, looking at the balcony and the darkness beyond. I craved to be out there, for the freedom the night air offered, instead of being surrounded by these fools.
“So, are all Bavadrin leaders as beautiful as you?” The Sidhe sitting before me asked.
Ugh.
“I’m sure some found Fraser pretty,” I commented with a shrug. My hand tightened around my fork in annoyance.
“Shit leadership seems to run amongst the Bavadrins,” Malavika stated abruptly, speaking for the first time during the torturous dinner.
“What?” My gaze narrowed, turning to her while she threw daggers with her eyes. The Lysian sat diagonally from me, placing me easily in her line of sight, as was her King.
“I heard your father could not produce the only heir he has ever wanted, because of his soft spot for his wife.” She smirked, vicious darkness dancing in her eyes.
“Malavika,” Clause warned, the tone firm.
My ears burned hot from the heat moving within and I leaned towards her. “Soft spot?” Was she delusional? Fraser had brutely murdered my mother.
She sat back, keeping her focus on me. “He didn’t kill his wife soon enough, and instead allowed for her to abort every single son he impregnated her with.”
Clause’s hand slammed the table so hard that we all jumped. “Leave.” His gaze pinned her.
She looked at him in shock. “Are you serious?”
“I will not tell you again.” It was his only response. The words clipped.
Mal stared at him for another moment, as if hoping he would reconsider. Her neck turned blotchy and red from the emotions she was doing her best to keep bottled, but a look of hurt still sliced through before she stood and left. She not once looked at me again.
Aborted every single son he impregnated her with. Ridiculous. And yet, it suddenly became difficult for me to draw breath. Why would she have said something like that? The world around me closed in, sending a jolt down my spine.
My stomach twisted. I was going to be sick.
“Excuse me.” I stood without waiting for a reply of any sort and dashed to the balcony. Faces blurred past me as I rushed towards the outdoors.
The night greeted me, though because of the moon and the snow reflecting off the higher mountain peaks, it was not dark. I could see far over the city and terrain. No longer closed in by walls and strangers, I finally found myself able to gulp down deep breaths.
A gentle breeze tugged at my hair and pulled some of the fiery anger from my body, taking it on a journey across the Sidhe mountains. I wondered how much bitterness and pain was trapped amongst those glistening peaks.
Something in the air shifted, turning stagnant. The sensation caused my shoulders to stiffen, for there was only one who harbored such an effect that even the air dulled around him. Suddenly, stolen was my sliver of freedom.
“How did you know someone approached?” Clause asked when he came up beside me. “Your entire body tensed as soon as I stepped out onto the terrace.”
“It’s impossible not to notice when you are near,” I commented.
“Is it your conjuring?” He asked, as if he did not know.
I turned to him then in surprise. “Are you serious?”
Confusion touched his features. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
I would have laughed if I was not in such a foul mood. “I think it’s your conjuring.”
“Mine?” His brows drew together as he stared at me, waiting for more of an explanation.
Was he truly serious? “There is this stagnant presence around you. Like nothing can move freely close to you. Your control is so consuming that it even stops the wind.”
He looked down in thought. “Interesting. I never knew this extended out to those close to me. I always thought it just affected me.” He then turned to me, observing my face. “It bothers you?”
I released a breath. “It’s suffocating.” My skin crawled because of it whenever near him.
His hand wrapped around the railing. “I apologize.” He looked over his city. “I have been like this for so long, I don’t even need to try to maintain it anymore. It is just second nature.”
The presence began lessening. It was as though the hand holding me underwater finally eased up, allowing me to surface. Allowing me to breathe and feel the air once more.
A breeze cut through the stagnant sensation, obliterating it. Clause’s eyes slid shut just as a gust ruffled through his hair. He drew in a slow, steady breath. “I forgot how sweet fresh air could smell.” His words were soft, like an afterthought to himself.
When his eyes re-opened, his attention found mine. “Is this better?”
“Much. Thank you.” And I truly was thankful. If I had to spend time around him, then at least with the shackles he had on the surrounding air gone, it was more bearable. “What caused you to create that stagnant space in the first place?”
His gaze left mine, again looking over the mountains.
“A funeral. It was freezing, the wind bitter that day. It sliced through me with such ease.” He blinked, the moment lasting just long enough that it was clear whatever that day was to him, it was a painful memory.
“So, I stopped it. I stopped everything, at least as much as I could. Since then, I haven’t felt the brush of the breeze on my cheek.
” He turned those dangerously silver eyes to me.
“Until now. I had forgotten how nice it could feel.”
It was very recently that I myself had the displeasure of attending a particularly cold funeral. My throat ached at the thought of Landin. At the fact that I stood here, staring at the man who had stolen him from me.
I considered asking Clause whose funeral he was referring to, but decided against it, instead choosing to ask about something else. “Was there truth to what Malavika said?”
He sighed. “I didn’t wish to discuss such things tonight.” His response was answer enough. He believed those things.
“She would never have done that.” I shook my head. “My mother would have protected all of her children. She broke after every stillbirth. She couldn’t have possibly been responsible.”
“Just because someone kills, does not mean they cannot also mourn the loss.” Clause replied, his gray eyes not once straying from me.
Desperation tightened around me, fueled by the wish to not believe any of his words. And yet, I wanted to know. “Why would she ever do something like that?”
“As I said, the Spirit of light and dark gifted you with conjuring. Your mother had gifts too, from the dark Spirit. She could sense future things, but only for herself. A mild flicker of a gift, like a light just before it goes out by the blow of a breath. And with a child in the womb, she could sense their futures too. The males would have grown up to be a threat to the world, so she protected it by eliminating them.”
I stepped away from him, as though his words shoved me.
“No. She wouldn’t. Children are not born evil.
She would have guided them, taught them.
I would have had siblings.” It was an effort to keep my eyes from lining with tears.
What he was insinuating could not have been true, and yet I felt myself responding as though I believed these lies about my mother.
The moonlight danced in his eyes, somehow making them colder, causing him to appear even more dangerous. “This is why you need to better protect your heart.”
“What?”
His hand rested lightly on the railing, angling his body towards me.
“You see others and welcome them into your heart freely as long as they don’t appear a threat.
Yet, they are. Anyone who you hold power over is a threat, even the weakest of them.
They are not your equal. They can and will betray you, even if they love you.
For they may even think what they do is for your own good, but ultimately it is for their own selfish desires they act against you. ”
“I don’t believe that.”
“And yet, it is still true.”
“What happened in your life that made you believe something like this?” I asked. The question was insanely bold, but I continued to test his patience with little caution.
His lips curved into a sad smile. “Your conviction in this belief that people are innately good is a rare and beautiful thing. It will be a sad day when you will lose it.”
Well, he didn’t have to worry there. “I will never give up on people.”
His smile faltered. “Yes, you will,” he said it as though it was a promise, a truth that he believed in.
And at that moment, I understood something. We were both playing a similar game.
He believed he was giving me the freedom that would ultimately stifle my views, causing me to see things his way.
While I was trying to take that same freedom and use it to smother him in return.
We both were playing with a lot of rope and both expected to come out victorious. But that was impossible.
One of us had to lose.