30. CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
“Leanbh, I need you to do this for me,” my mam’s voice filled my ears over the hammer of my heart.
Water rushed in through the hole in the windshield, pouring over the heads of Bridget and Bela who were slumped against the dash. Mam had called their names twice, but neither were responding as the car filled with water.
The car had landed nose down in the river and my body hung in the seatbelt as we sank.
“Leanbh,” my mam insisted, grabbing my face roughly and turning it to her.
Her beautiful face was bloody and her left eye was already swollen as we looked at each other.
“Once I get your seatbelt unbuckled I’m going to roll down the window and I need you to get out and swim for the column, do you see it?”
Mam pointed out of the window at the stone column of the bridge. It was maybe fifteen feet, but it may as well have been a mile away to my eyes.
“I don’t think I can do it,” I said, shaking my head as panic really began to set in. “I can’t swim well.”
Before she left, she’d signed me up for swim classes that I never ended up going to and now I wished more than anything I had.
“You can do it.” Mam spoke with such conviction that it made me pause. Her hands cupped my face, brushing blood away from my cheeks. “You need to be brave for me, leanbh.”
Her hands started to reach for the button of my seatbelt, but I stopped her. “W-wait! What about you?”
Mam’s expression turned sad as she glanced down at her legs which were a mangled mess from part of the car that had buckled in from going over the barriers of the bridge.
“I won’t be coming with you,” she said and cut me off before I could say anything.
“Ciara, I need you to get out of here, please do this for me,” Mam said before turning and rolling down the car window.
Even though the car was only half submerged, water began to pour inside even faster. The hole in the front windscreen began to crack outward, causing both Mam and me to look over at it.
“You need to go now,” Mam said and hit the seatbelt, sending me falling forward into the back of the seat in front of me. “Climb, leanbh, climb and then swim.”
Her mouth moved, saying something else that I couldn’t quite make out as I shimmied out of the window and into the river.
My head was immediately pulled underwater as I tried to remember everything I knew about swimming—which admittedly wasn’t a lot. I loved going to the local pool as much as the next person, but I was always too much of a coward to go past where my feet couldn’t touch.
And they definitely couldn’t touch right now.
I wasn’t sure how I managed it, my body flailing as my head finally rebroke the surface of the water and I sucked in a lungful of air with a scream.
Then my body was being thrown into the stone column with enough force to take the breath I’d just inhaled clean out of me.
Gripping the stones, I scrambled up onto the flat surface as every inch of me screamed with an ache. I glanced over just in time to see the car’s bumper dip beneath the surface.
“Mam!” I screamed as the sounds of sirens filled my ears.
A garbled scream left my body as I sat up straight in bed, trying to get free of the tangle of sheets and failing entirely.
Overwhelming panic caged in my chest as I grabbed blindly at the edge of my blanket, trying to yank it away from my legs.
“Ciara,” a man’s voice was in my ear, grabbing at my hands but I fought, trying in vain to get a full lungful of air.
“Ciara, gorgeous.”
Hands gripped my face and I finally realized where I was and why my legs felt trapped—it was because they were. By the bodies of the two men and two golden retrievers in Artie’s nest.
A strangled sob rippled out of my chest as I managed to take my first full breath since waking up.
The scent of oranges and cloves surrounded me as soft hands took over from Wiz and I turned to find Artie’s concerned face as he tried to soothe me through the bond.
“Talk to me, sweetheart,” Artie’s fingers traced my expression—something he’d been doing more and more frequently over the past month and a half since I’d bitten him and formed the bond.
The door to Artie’s room opened and two sleepy alphas stumbled into the room.
“What’s goin’ on?” Enzo slurred, rubbing at his eyes as he tried to see in the dark. “I felt fear through the bond, woke me up out of a dead sleep.”
Leith was already crawling into the nest, glancing between the three of us before reaching over Artie to the bedside table lamp and switching it on.
“Oh, mo ròs,” he sighed, pulling me into his lap and cradling me there. “What happened?”
Enzo hesitated for a moment and I could feel his indecision down the bond. Reaching out, I patted the nest, giving him nonverbal permission to join us.
Wiz and I had spent most of our time melting into the Santoro pack, Wiz seeming to fit in as if he’d been there all along. He and Artie were close and when the omega wasn’t with Leith or one of his other alphas, he and Wiz were up to no good. Things were going well—so well that I sometimes couldn’t believe it.
But even after a month Enzo still seemed to keep me at an arm’s length and without realizing it, I think I may have done the same.
Enzo’s shoulders sank and he crawled into the nest, his face level with mine. “Was it a nightmare?”
I shrugged, not wanting to share anything about the ever-fading dream that seemed to be haunting me more and more over the week leading up to the anniversary of the accident.
“I don’t really want to talk about it,” I mumbled and turned my face into Leith’s neck, trying to push away the encroaching nausea that always accompanied my lovely nightmares.
Unfortunately, Wiz wasn’t going to let me off that easily. “It’s the anniversary of your mom’s death—right?”
I peeked at him from over Leith’s shoulder, taking in his concerned expression and rumpled hair.
Prior to falling asleep, I’d been in a very comfortable sandwich with him and Artie… but now I wished I hadn’t been so that I could pretend everything was okay and actually get away with it.
“Who told you that?”
“Aurelia and Brynn, they told me you’d probably get a little twitchy.”
Of course they did. My sisters meant well, but they were too nosey for their own good.
“What a bunch of snitches,” I grumbled, leaning in as Artie’s hand smoothed up my back.
Enzo grinned at that. “That’s family for you.”
Sucking in a deep breath, I finally braved looking away from Leith’s neck. “Fifteen years,” I finally said, giving in. They would hear it all eventually. “Today is the fifteenth anniversary since my mam—since all of them—died. Went right over a bridge when she came to get me.”
My words cracked like the panes of too brittle glass and I nearly dove back into Leith’s chest as images of my nightmare came back in full force. The feeling of the water, the way that the stone column felt against my back as it slammed into it, cracking my ribs and breaking my wrist.
A sob rippled out of me and I put my face in my hands, ready to turn into a puddle like I always did when this time of year rolled around.
Normally, I’d take the week off from training, and well, everything.
White-knuckle grip the trauma and the memories, let the nightmares come as they were, and once it was all over I could return to the life that I sometimes felt I didn’t deserve.
I hadn’t done that this time. It would have taken explanation and I didn’t want the men around me to know that I was quite so broken yet. I wanted to maintain the facade that I wasn’t such a fucked up human being.
“Why did you want to do what?” Artie asked, making me realize that I’d said my last thoughts out loud.
I must have been more tired from all of the nightmares than I thought.
“Because no one wants someone so… fucked in the head.”
“You are not fucked up, gorgeous,” Wiz said it with such conviction that I nearly believed him.
Warmth crept into my cheeks as I looked away from their looks of sudden pity to the only person who I knew could give it to me straight.
Enzo’s expression was neutral when I finally met his eyes. “Am I fucked up, Enzo?”
The man didn’t miss a beat. “Undoubtedly.”
“Dude, what the hell?” Wiz barked from behind Leith’s shoulder but Enzo held up his hand to stop the other alpha before he could say anything else.
“We’re all a little fucked up in this family, if you haven’t noticed. Leith’s got attachment issues, Artie’s losing his eyesight at a breakneck pace and I can’t seem to keep my head on straight for more than a day before I have my next freak out. The only normal one here is Wiz and yet I think he might be the craziest one of us all for putting up with this shit.”
Leith and Artie nodded in solemn agreement, ignoring Wiz’s noise of protest.
“My point is…” Enzo looked like he was searching for the right words. “That we’re all fucked up in some way or another. Just because your demons have an anniversary doesn’t mean we don’t get it.”
Artie’s fingers slid through mine. “Fifteen years, but this is the first time you have someone—some people—to get you through it.”
Leith’s large hand cupped the back of my head and he leaned back so he could look at me, his green eyes serious. “They’re right, mo ròs, let us comfort you. What good are these bonds for if we can’t use them to help each other.”
“I say,” Wiz began, finally managing to get in a word edgewise. “That we all play hooky today and stay in and pretend like the world outside doesn’t exist.”
“Today?” Confused, I glanced over at Artie’s alarm clock and groaned. It was already almost six in the morning. “What about practice and work? Enzo, don’t you have some on-air thing today?”
But he shook his head. “Nope, that’s another day.”
Carefully, he reached out and put a hand on my leg. Warmth spread out from his palms to the tips of his fingers, chasing away the last shakes that still seemed to have a hold of my body from my nightmare.
“Today we stay in,” he finished firmly.
I should have insisted that we proceed business as usual. Eli would be pissed if we missed practice with only a month and a half to go to the invitational and I didn’t even want to think about what Wiz would be missing.
Instead, though, I snuggled in closer to Leith, feeling more comfortable and safe than I had in a long time. “Can we watch some musicals?”
Leith’s chuckle vibrated through my back. “We can watch as many as you like.”
“I’ll hold you to that,” I said, looking at each of them. “Les Misérables is almost three hours long.”
There was a chorus of groans from the men around me, and for the first time since waking up, I smiled.
“Good! Your form is looking good, but, Ciara, make sure you’re keeping both eyes on Artie. Get into his zones like we spoke about so he knows that you’re there. Use that bond to your advantage!” Eli was fighting to be heard, his voice booming over the medley of Linkin Park’s In the End and Adele’s Set Fire to the Rain which Artie had affectionately dubbed Set Fire to the End.
It was a bit grungier than what I usually skated to—Artie too—but the more we did it the more I could feel the guitar in my blood as we moved through the moves that had quickly become second nature to us.
We’d been doing a pretty good job before the bond, but after it had been sealed?
Complete synchronization wasn’t as far off as I thought it would be.
I guess there was a reason that some of the most successful figure skating pairs in the business were bonded partners.
Every move of Artie’s I could feel, like a stone disturbing a completely still pond and causing the water to ripple out and I knew he experienced the same whenever we skated. Like some kind of sonar navigation stemming from our bond.
He was less anxious now and more trusting than before, even with the more complex moves like the one we were moving into now.
It was the last one before the climax of the song and required us to build momentum before separating and doing a small jump. It wasn’t anywhere near as complicated as what we’d done as single skaters, but for ice dancing it was toeing the line of what was acceptable.
“Twizzles!” Eli barked as if we didn’t already know. “And leg up Ciara, Artie, get a good hold on her!”
Artie’s hand shot out and I was there, ready for him to spin me in until my back met his front and my skates left the ice. His hands were firm on my hips, his nose pressed to the small of my back as we wobbled out of the lift but still managed to stay on our feet for the first time since we started pair skating.
“That’s it!” Eli whooped. “Maybe I should have had you bite him sooner.”
Artie’s eyes rolled, but he grinned at me as we finished up the dance and turned to face Eli with our joined hands in the air.
There was a noise from the stand and I turned to find Enzo still dressed in his on-air suit and clapping for us. Artie’s brows drew together as he turned toward the source of the noise.
I leaned in close to Artie’s ear. “Looks like we had an audience, Enzo’s here.”
Artie’s confused expression smoothed out and he grinned in Enzo’s direction and blew him a kiss.
Eli’s lips twisted as he turned to glare at the alpha. “Oi! This is a closed practice!”
“But I’m family,” Enzo called, frowning at our coach.
“I don’t give a shit if you’re the king of England—now get out!”
“Oh come on, Eli, you’re no fun,” I said, pulling Artie with me as we skated to the half-wall where he was standing. “Let him stick around for a bit.”
“Absolutely not. Neither of you twitterpated kids will focus on practice if Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Handsome sticks around.”
There was a pause before Enzo unhelpfully cut in again. “So you think I’m handsome.”
Eli pointed at the door. “Out! They have thirty more minutes and you’re just going to be a distraction.”
Like a kicked dog, Enzo’s shoulders drooped and he headed for the door, mouthing at me that he would wait for us before he ducked out.
“You’re no fun,” I grumbled at Eli, making Artie laugh.
“I’m your skating coach, not your fun coach, now get your asses back on that ice and let’s take it from the top. Artie, this time…”
The rest of practice passed in a blur after that, my mind still on Enzo’s surprise appearance.
He had always been slammed at work during that point in the day so he’d never been able to come before.
“Do you think he’s been fired?” I asked Artie as we sat together unlacing our skates so we could hobble our way to the showers. I was half-tempted to join Artie in his today, but Aurelia’s scolding about having sex on Complex property was still ringing in my ears.
Artie snorted. “As if they would ever fire him. Have you seen what they’ve been calling him online?”
“You know I don’t go online much.” I shuddered just thinking about the time I stumbled on to a figure skating reddit page and saw a picture of myself photoshopped with ridiculously sized tits. Never again.
Artie lifted his fingers in the hashtag sign with a cheeky grin. “Hashtag hot reporter. Leith told me about it and I don’t think I’ve ever seen that man laugh so hard. Apparently there’s thirst traps on TikTok about him.”
Okay, that much I understood about the perpetually grumpy alpha. His on-air personality was friendly and personable, not to mention the stylists spent more time than I thought possible on his hair.
But I still thought the rumpled man who stumbled into the kitchen in the morning for a cup of coffee, one hand tucked under his shirt and rubbing his bare belly, was infinitely more attractive.
Not that anything had happened yet.
It was actually starting to peeve me off in the week since the anniversary of the car accident.
After that day things had gone suspiciously back to normal, and by normal Enzo still kept me at an arm’s length after monologuing at me in a way that made my heart flutter like a damn schoolgirl’s.
Standing, I helped Artie to his feet and put his hand on Charm’s harness. His eyesight had been worse this week, and though he wouldn’t tell us the true extent of it, there were fresh bruises on his arms and shins from falling this morning. “Well hashtag hot reporter should still be at work right now, shouldn’t he?”
“I dunno,” Artie just said mysteriously, telling me he knew exactly what was going on with the wayward alpha. “I’m going to shower and meet you in front of the ladies’ locker room?”
“Sure,” I said, narrowing my eyes at the omega’s back as he began to walk away.
“Looking at me like that isn’t going to get you the answer you’re looking for, sweetheart,” Artie called over his shoulder.
“How did you know I was looking at you?” I grumbled quietly, forgetting that the omega’s sense of hearing was much better than my own.
“Call it an omega’s intuition,” he said with a laugh before he and Charm turned the corner and left me to my own devices.
With a shake of my head, I made my way to the women’s locker room which was blessedly empty of any of the other female athletes at the Complex.
Dropping my things I took the hottest shower I could stand, smiling at the memory it brought of Leith’s and my time at the hotel suite.
The past month had been a haze of practices and spending time with my new pack and sometimes I still believed it was all some kind of joke and I was in a coma or something.
No one should be as stupidly happy as I was—and yet here I stood in a shower smiling like an idiot.
I was even humming under my breath as I got dressed, dragging the sweatshirt I’d stolen from Wiz this morning over my head and inhaling his clove-y scent.
My mood was so good, that when I stepped out of the locker rooms, my eyes looking for Artie, I wasn’t surprised when I found Richter leaning against the wall waiting for me.
Because of course something had to ruin the warm fuzzy feeling I had, and the only person capable of that was the burly hockey player standing in front of me.
Pulling the strap of my duffel more firmly on to my shoulder, I shot him a cold look.
He hadn’t tried to approach me since the night of the party—though to be fair I’d been constantly surrounded by my family or my pack since that day anyway.
I’d been hoping that he’d given up, but judging by the expression on his face he was a long way off from that.
“Ciara—” he began but I wasn’t interested in hearing any of it.
Turning I headed in the opposite direction that I needed to go, hoping that he would get the hint.
I made it halfway down the hall before a hand gripped my wrist and swung me around until I was nose to nose with the other alpha.
“Let go of me,” I hissed, torn between wanting to bring my knee up into his groin and worrying that kicking one of the dads’ players in the crown jewels would open up a whole other can of worms I didn’t want to be responsible for.
“I just need to talk to you,” he insisted, his blue eyes a bit wild as his grip tightened, making me wince. “I need to talk to you without them hanging around.”
I surmised that the them that he was talking about were my packmates. “You have talked to me Richter and I’ve told you that I’m not interested.”
“You said that you weren’t interested in ever being in a pack and I tried to be okay with that and then you stepped out with those assholes and I realized you were lying to me.”
While it was true that I’d told him that—there was no way I’d ever be in a relationship with the man in front of me. For one, he smelled like hot garbage to me, and for two, I would never be with someone who thought putting their hands on someone smaller than them would ever be a good idea.
“You’re my scent match, Ciara, don’t you see that?”
I ignored his words and tried to wrench my wrist free from his grasp letting out a strangled noise when I realized the idiot was closing his eyes and leaning in for a kiss.
Dads be damned, I was not about to let this asshole put his lips anywhere near me. Shifting my stance, I was just getting ready to bring my knee up so hard that his testicles turned into a pair of scrambled eggs, when something slammed into the man and his grip on my wrist was gone.
I blinked, trying to understand what I was seeing in front of me as a growl echoed off of the long walls of the hallway.
There, straddling Richter and lifting his fist to strike the man, was a very well-dressed, very pissed off Enzo.