Chapter 18 Matteo
MATTEO
Vacation was over.
Alexander looked relaxed, refreshed even, like the weight of the last race and that awful crash had finally lifted off his shoulders.
Lucia was lighter somehow, her laughter easier and brighter than it had been in months.
And Gianna—well, Gianna was just pure sunshine, bouncing around with that endless energy only a kid can have.
Overall, the trip was a success. A much-needed win for all of us.
Except for one thing.
The fragile truce between Nicola and me?
It was over now. Our carefully crafted excuse for late-night talks, sharing a bed without strings, those ‘non-dates’ she let me take her on—none of it was real anymore.
I tried to shake it off, tried to reset my mind, put myself back where I needed to be.
Free Practice was two days away, and with it came training, interviews, team meetings—the grind that kept me sharp on the track.
We were in Vegas, and the amount of media days and content the teams were all pushing out was next level.
I tried to focus on the poor admins who were walking us through the content.
I tried to focus on the interviews with some other drivers.
Carlos bumped my shoulder when I didn’t manage to answer the interviewer.
I snapped out of my daze and looked around to the other drivers.
Theo Bauer, sat across from me, shooting daggers at everyone, looking like he would rather be anywhere else.
He had that cocky asshole thing down, so honestly it wasn’t surprising, but when I looked back at the interviewer, I immediately felt guilty for not being the easiest to interview either right now.
The poor red-headed woman interviewing us looked young, maybe even her first interview and here I was fucking it up.
She was asking good questions too, technical things, strategic comments like she knew the game well.
I had turned on the charm after that, determined to not let my stupid heart affect someone else’s career.
But no matter how hard I pushed, my thoughts kept slipping.
They kept winding back to a certain brunette.
Those damn cherry red lips and heels she wore around the track.
It was a power moveshe needed to assert herself in this chaotic world, and it fucking worked.
I caught glimpses of her throughout the first few days but not a single word was exchanged.
Which only drove me to the brink of insanity.
After we wrapped on interviews, we were free to get back to training.
When I finally made it to the empty team gym, I felt the stress start to fall, my shoulders softening.
I pulled on my training gear, the fabric snug against my muscles, trying to get back in the race weekend headspace.
I paced the gym, doing laps around the weights to warm up while listening to loud music, trying to drown out the constant replay of her smile in my mind, the way her eyes sparkled when she caught me looking.
The woman had waltzed into my life this year and flipped my world upside down with that perfect blend of fire and ice.
She was snark and sarcasm and challenge—and something softer, something I didn’t have the right to want.
Sure, I had dated here and there, had one-night stands that never turned to anything more, but it was all dull and boring. Nicola was something else entirely.
The worst part? I wasn’t just wanting her in bed.
I wanted the moments in between: the mornings when she’d let her guard down, the laughs she thought I didn’t see.
The damn way she made me feel like I could actually stop running, settle down even.
She saw me in a way others didn’t. I didn’t need to pretend, didn’t need to be anyone other than my actual self.
But I knew better. She didn’t do relationships, and it wasn’t like I hadn’t seen this coming.
It was my own damn idea to just let vacation be vacation.
Because she was always honest and upfront with me, and I knew that was all that she could give.
Her heart couldn’t take any more risks, not after that idiot cheated on her.
And I understood it. But I still spun the lie to myself that we were just getting it out of our systems. Now there was a glaring red sign that read ‘you’re fucked!
’ in some overly cheery font in the mental picture.
I did this to myself. Dug myself into this hole.
I shoved a dumbbell aside and clenched my fists, sweat dripping. I reached back and pulled my shirt over my head in one movement, tossing it to the ground.
“Hey DeLuca,” Carlos greeted as he entered the team gym.
“Hey,” I greeted half-heartedly.
“You ready for more media?” he sighed. I rolled my eyes. We all hated media days but usually I was the upbeat one, the one that told the guys it was just a part of the job.
“I guess.” I shrugged.
“Damn, what’s got you down?” Carlos looked shocked at my unusual non-chipper attitude.
I just didn’t have it in me. I couldn’t pull the mask back up, couldn’t be the happy one, the positive one.
My mind was too full, too busy. I couldn’t separate it all into their boxes, couldn’t push aside all the thoughts and be the Matteo DeLuca. Always happy, always positive.
I glanced at my phone. No new messages. She was probably doing the same, trying to convince herself this was just fun. Just a vacation fling. Or she wasn’t thinking about it at all. That thought stung.
I fucking hated it.
“Nah, I’m good, man. Just pushed myself on the last rep.
” I brushed aside his look and took a long sip of water before waving goodbye to my teammate.
He nodded, laughing at something on his phone.
I peered over, curiosity winning out, his phone tipped toward me, and I saw a picture of a familiar brunette.
My blood boiled.
“What’s that?” I asked as calmly as I could. Was it any of my business? Probably not, but fuck that. It was my name she was screaming a few nights ago, my bed she slept in.
“Just Nic being an idiot,” Carlos laughed. I glared.
“Don’t fucking call her that.”
“Mate, relax,” he said, looking taken aback.
“The fuck I will,” I seethed.
“Okay, what the hell is going on?” Carlos said, crossing his arms, looking unbothered at my rather territorial reaction.
I knew in my head that I needed to fucking relax.
But I couldn’t. Why was she sending him pictures?
And they were flirting at that gala. Now that I thought about it, they were together a lot, always finding each other at events throughout the year, laughing together.
I was an idiot.
How could I be this damn blind?
“Nothing,” I snapped and stormed out of the room. I didn’t get far, Carlos following after me as I was talking myself into a mental spiral.
“Matteo!”
“What!” I yelled at him, spinning around. “What could you possibly want from me?”
“Is this about the picture?” Carlos asked.
“Sure, yeah. And that I’m blind and stupid, and that obviously you have something with her, I don’t know how I didn’t notice it before. Haven’t you two known each other since you were little? Friends to lovers or whatever. I’ve seen that movie. You win in the end.”
“Woah, woah woah,” Carlos held up his hands. “First of all, this is the picture.” He turned his phone to me. Nicola’s selfie showed her with red lipstick smeared across her cheek, lipstick tube in hand and a glare on her face, Gianna giggling to the side.
“Second of all, yeah, we’ve known each other forever, she’s basically an extra sister, mate. It’s not like that.”
“Sure,” I scoffed.
“No, it’s really not like that,” Carlos insisted.
“Whatever, man. She’s all yours.” I started to walk away again.
“You fucking blind idiot, we are not interested in each other, not like that.”
I stared at my teammate blankly.
“I’m not interested in her,” he said, brushing a hand over his face. “Or anyone that is a her.” He waved his hand like I should understand what he was saying.
“I’m gay, you dumb blind idiot,” Carlos rolled his eyes at me.
“Oh,” was all I could form. A whole damn word, my brain restarted at the comment. “Oh!”
“Yeah, oh,” Carlos rolled his eyes. “It’s not like public knowledge, but Nicola is my friend, that’s it. She knows. God, she was with me when we went out and found me drunkenly kissing a boy when we were teenagers and made sure no one saw us and distracted the rest of our friends.”
I smiled, because of course she did, that was so Nicola.
“That—um. Congrats?” I stumbled.
“Don’t make it fucking weird.” Carlos rolled his eyes. “Literally nothing has changed, except now you know I’m gay, and I know you’re down bad for the boss’s daughter.”
“Um—”
“Mmhm.”
“Well…I—Uh, sorry that wasn’t cool of me to react like that. And I’m happy for you man. That’s great, really. Nicola just makes me lose my mind sometimes.”
“She has that effect on men in general, actually,” Carlos smirked.
“Don’t I know it,” I sighed, “Seriously man, sorry for my reaction. And I won’t tell anyone. It’s yours to share when you feel it’s best, but I’ve got your back and if anyone gives you any trouble. I’ll punch them straight in the jaw.” I nodded seriously.
“Okay, now you sound like Nic is rubbing off on you. That’s terrifying. But thank you, I appreciate it.”
“I mean it.”