CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR
Evie
High School
I thought Bo would ice me out for what Colson did to him during the soccer game. Because that’s what Bo does—death by association. Not that it would matter that much, because Bo and I aren’t close. He’s Hildy’s twin brother and we’re around each other a lot, but it’s different.
It’s not like me and Colson.
Col and I are the same age—born only one day apart—and from the first day we met in 5 th grade, when my dad introduced me to his new girlfriend and her kids, I just clicked with him. Sometimes we even pretended to be twins because we both have red hair and blue eyes. His hair is much darker, but it was enough to trick Hildy when we ended up on the same softball team in middle school and she freaked out when she thought we both had twin brothers.
All my friends know him because he comes to my softball games and he brings his friends down from Dire Ridge to go to parties and we dress up together for Halloween as things like the twins from The Shining, creepy doll versions of Raggedy Ann and Andy, and, of course—red-headed step-children. I never had to go to homecoming or prom alone because if I didn’t have a date, Col always went with me.
Bo doesn’t do things like that. He might come tow Hildy and I out of the creek when we’d get her quad stuck in the mud, but a minute later he’d be tossing firecrackers at our feet and hiding in Hildy’s closet to jump out and scare the hell out of us after we went to bed.
He holds grudges for much less. And even though Col knocked the shit out of him and made him look like an idiot in front of everyone, Bo didn’t ice me out. Oddly enough, that’s when he seems to suddenly notice I exist. And it starts with my hair.
At lunch, in calculus, in the hallway, in the parking lot after school—I’ll feel a tug on the back of my head and, every single time when I turn around, it’s Bo. Now he suddenly wants to talk to me. And I like talking to him, because he’s actually pretty interesting.
He does this every day, until the last day before winter break when he does something different. My elbow is propped up on the lunch table with my chin in my hand, and I’m staring across the cafeteria, spacing out. Bo sits next to me, talking to Jay, and when I look down, I realize that he’s combing his fingers through the tips of my hair. He does it absently as he talks, twisting the ends around his fingers, just below the edge of the table, like he needs to keep his hands busy. And when it’s time to go back to class, he stops, gets up, and never says a word. After a couple weeks, I finally ask him about it, to which he only responds with another question.
“Do you want me to stop?”
I brush it off. Bo likes to fuck with people. I’ve known that about him since the first day we met. But by the time softball starts in March, it dawns on me that something has fundamentally changed.
Bo always keeps a couple of black hair bands around his wrist for his hair that he wears in a long fade. But one day, in calculus, I’m pulling my hair back and my band snaps. It happens all the time because my hair is so thick. Not five seconds later, I feel a tap on my arm and, when I turn around, Bo is holding a beige hair band between his index and middle fingers. At first, I think it’s pretty convenient, because I only wear beige hair bands.
But when I look at Bo’s wrist, all of the hair bands are beige instead of black.
Is Bo my friend now? That doesn’t seem right. Because now he’s doing subtle things that go beyond what my actual friends do. It’s a slow burn, like a candle that takes forever to melt down, and then one day you realize it’s spilled wax everywhere and you’ll never be able to wash it out of anything it touches. Suddenly, everything is different. One day, I wake up and realize that Bo is different.
He’s my friend now—I guess—and we do things like walk out to the senior parking lot together after calculus.
He leans against the fender of my white Civic and takes a long drag on his cigarette, “Want to be my shotgun on Saturday?”
My eyes go wide with surprise, “Like, ride with you?”
“Yeah?”
I’ve never been anyone’s shotgun before. Because riding with someone while they drive fast is not the same as riding with someone while they’re racing. I throw my yellow leather tote bag across the console into the passenger seat and spin around, “ Hell fucking yeah! ” It’s not even a question .
Bo grins at me with amusement, “You can ride with me all the time if it gets you that excited.”
“I’ve never ridden with anyone before,” I admit with a shrug.
Bo pushes away from my car with a roll of his eyes, “I’ve got a lot of work to do on you, Maguire,” he winks as he steps past me, sending a wave of butterflies through my stomach.
“Hey,” I call after him, “who are you racing?”
“Be there and find out,” he calls back over his shoulder.
It doesn’t take me long to find out who he’s racing. I know as soon as I text Col and ask if he’ll also be at Leland’s. And then I conveniently leave out the part where I’m riding with Bo. That is, until Saturday, when I get out of Col’s car at Leland’s.
Fucking Colson…
And then after the race, he proceeds to almost knock the shit out of Bo—again.
“That was really dirty,” I say to Bo as we circle back to Canaan at the overpass at the creek, “Col could’ve gotten arrested.”
“I wouldn’t want to tarnish golden boy’s reputation,” Bo mutters, “he’ll get over it. But, hey,” he shifts and shoots over the bridge, sending a rush deep through my stomach, “look in the console. I brought you something.”
I furrow my brow, “Me?”
“Yeah, you,” he laughs.
I pop open the center console and, sitting right on top of a pile of charge cords, lighters, and a few packs of Marlboro Lights are two tickets. When I pluck them out to read them, my heart almost stops. They’re two general admission tickets to an Evanescence concert at the beginning of July.
I could absolutely die. Or maybe I’ll just start crying instead because I need to be alive if I’m going to have a chance at being that close to a stage with Amy Lee.
“Bo!” I shriek, jerking my head up, “You have tickets to Evanescence? I love Evanescence! ”
“No shit, E,” he shoots me a sideways glance, “I know you love them, why do you think I got them?”
My mouth falls open and I press the tickets to my chest, “You want me to go with you?”
“Of course,” Bo smiles, “who else would I go with?”
I don’t know…someone else. Anyone else . Bo and I don’t do things together—not really. He might do things with Hildy and I, especially now that she’s dating Jay, but it’s never just me and him.
Until now.
Bo guns the engine, flying past the same police SUV parked under a catalpa that probably chased him across the county line less than an hour before. Col probably will get over what happened tonight. But I still don’t text him until I get to Hildy’s house and we’re safely in her living room playing Call of Duty on the sofa.
Col didn’t get arrested, he didn’t smash Bo’s face in, and he doesn’t sound angry. And that’s all I really care about. But he did kiss me. And I really liked it. And that’s probably really wrong because he was only trying to stop me from riding with Bo.
Col’s joking about it, though, and for some reason that gives me license to forget about it for the time being. Which is fortunate because right now, all I want to think about is Bo, Evanescence, and how each time Bo gets up, he sits back down closer to me until our legs are touching and our shoulders bump every time we laugh.
Sitting at the other end of the sectional, neither Hildy nor Jay see Bo reach up and run his fingertips up the small of my back whenever I lean forward, concentrating on sniping the enemy, or that Bo follows me when I go get another Diet Coke from the dark kitchen. As soon as I shut the refrigerator and turn around, I run straight into his chest.
He’s blocking my path, looking down at me with a face obscured by shadow. As soon as I look up, he leans down and presses his lips to mine. He finally pulls away and I just stand there in shock as he turns and walks back to the living room. When I sit back down, I notice I don’t even have my Diet Coke. Then I realize that Bo’s holding it, the can balanced on his ankle crossed over his knee. He doesn’t even like Diet Coke.
I settle back into the cushions, eyeing the oversized teal throw pillow tucked against his side. Hildy and Jay are at the other end of the sofa, locked in a heated battle. Keeping my eyes on them, I slowly lift my hand and reach over Bo’s lap. His thigh tenses as I run my hand over his stomach and tease the hem of his t-shirt until I find the edge. Moving my head slightly, I steal a glance. He’s already looking at me, his eyes darting back and forth between my face and my hand.
Gently, I slide one finger under the waistband of his sweatpants, and then another. Moving only my wrist, I push the rest of my hand between his legs and settle it on his cock. I press my mouth together, trying in vain to stifle a smile as a wave of heat washes through my stomach. He’s so incredibly hard already. Contracting my fingers, I slowly stroke him back and forth while he stares straight ahead at the TV.
The longer I touch him, the more intense the ache gets between my thighs until, suddenly, Hildy lets out a shriek and leaps from the sofa. I flinch, snatching my hand from Bo’s pants and turning my attention back to the TV. Bo lets his ankle fall from his knee and pushes his wrist against his groin a couple of times before tossing the throw pillow aside.
He moves to stand, rotating his body and bringing his face so close it almost brushes against mine, “Fucking tease,” he mutters under his breath .
There’s a quick, sharp pain and I wince as he flicks his middle finger out from his thumb, popping me in the side of my breast. Before I can even take a breath, he disappears down the hall.
At the end of the night, Jay leaves, peeling down the gravel drive in his Frankenstein’s monster of a racecar that needs new floorboards more than racing seats. Then, like always, I follow Hildy up to her bedroom. But, this time, I pause in the doorway and gaze down the hall. Bo is strolling to his room, two doors down on the other side of the bathroom. When he gets there, he looks over his shoulder and catches my eye.
Then he gives a nod and motions inside before finally stepping over the threshold and closing the door.
●●●
I play that moment over and over in my head as I lay next to Hildy, wide awake, under her blue and yellow paisley comforter. Finally, I sit up and look down at her. Her breaths are slow and heavy. She’s curled up under the covers so that only her head from the chin up is showing and every few seconds, she gives a tiny snore. Gently, I lift the covers and slink down to the edge of the bed.
I don’t know why I’m being so quiet. Hildy sleeps like a damn rock. Of all the times I’ve gotten out of bed at her house to go to the bathroom, not once has she ever woken up. But this time, I figure she’ll know through some subconscious, best friend telepathy that I’m doing something scandalous and she’ll immediately wake up and catch me. But she doesn’t. Good thing, too, because I don’t know what the hell I’m doing anyway.
Silently, I creep out of the room, shut the door behind me, and meander down the hall, watching for lights or movement. Twisting Bo’s doorknob, I slip into his room and quickly shut the door behind me, careful to close the latch silently. His shades are still open, letting in the warm glow from the flood light on the garage. Bo is sprawled out on his stomach, shirtless, hugging his pillow, a disheveled white sheet and light grey comforter laying crooked over his hips.
“ Bo, ” I whisper across the room.
He slowly rolls over and sits up on his elbows, then reaches up and switches on the lamp on the side table, which only gives off a weak glow. When he sees me, he tosses his hair out of his eyes and throws back his covers, nodding sharply to the space next to him. I creep across the carpet to the end of his bed, which is only a queen size mattress and box spring sitting on the floor. I crawl toward him and sink down onto the pillow.
He rolls over to face me, “Did you get lonely?” he murmurs.
“Yeah,” I reach up to stroke the side of his face, “I just want you to kiss me again. ”
Bo lifts my hand from his cheek and kisses the palm of my hand, “I’m going to do more than kiss you, E,” he crawls over top of me, settling his hips between my legs.
I don’t know how long I kiss Bo. Long enough to memorize how his skin feels against mine. Long enough to forget where I am or that anyone else exists. And I don’t stop him when he hooks his fingers over the waist of my sleep shorts and pulls them down my legs.
“I’m more fun to sleep with than Hildy,” he gives a half shrug as he tosses them over the side of the bed, “unless you’re into that.”
He pushes my knees apart and my heart starts racing as soon as I feel the cool air against my bare skin. I don’t know what to expect, frozen as his mouth trails down my stomach and his hand slides up the inside of my thigh. I mean, I kind of do, but Bo’s the first guy to ever put his face between my legs…
He lets out a groan the second he feels how wet I am and I inhale a sharp breath through my teeth when I feel his tongue on my clit. Moving slowly, he searches for the right spot until my breath catches and I grab a fistful of his hair to keep him there. Instinctively, my hips roll with him as he sweeps his tongue over my pussy and sucks my clit until finally, my breaths turn to choked gasps. My thighs clench around his head and the rush hits me, making me grind against his face. My hand flies to my mouth, clamping it shut so that nothing escapes but a muted squeak.
As soon as my breathing slows, Bo crawls back up my body and pulls me tight against him. Still drunk off the orgasm, I convulse against him as he presses his forehead against mine, flicking his tongue between my lips.
“I’m going to fuck you so hard tonight, Evie…” he growls as he grinds against me.
I try to focus.
Oh, shit…
Bo runs his hand between my legs, slick with my own cum, and pushes one finger inside me, and then another, pulsing back and forth. I dig my fingertips into his shoulders, and when he tries to push a third inside me, I go rigid and let out a whimper into his neck.
“ Fuck, you’re going to take my cock so good,” he murmurs through clenched teeth, feeling me contract around his fingers.
Bo rises up on his knees and stretches across the mattress to the side table. He digs around in the drawer for a few seconds and then settles back on his heels, pushing his shorts down past his hips until he can pull them free and tosses them aside. I stare up at him, my breaths getting shorter as he strokes his cock while tearing open a condom wrapper with his teeth. He blows the shred of plastic out of his mouth, gazing down at me like a hungry beast.
He’s going to tear me apart .
Dropping down, Bo lodges his knees against the backs of my thighs and spreads my legs as far apart as they’ll go. He falls forward, planting one hand on the mattress next to my chest and reaches down to position himself. I inhale sharply and tense my thighs when I feel him against me, ready to thrust his hips forward.
But, at the last second, my hands fly to his arms, grabbing his biceps.
“This is going to hurt, right?” I hiss in a shaky whisper.
Bo pauses and lifts his head, staring at me blankly. He’s silent for a few moments, and then his face softens, “You’ve never done this before,” he says with realization.
I give a quick shake of my head, studying his face for any reaction.
He furrows his brow, “ Really? ” He sounds shocked.
I’m not sure how to take his odd response, but I don’t have time to dwell on it.
He bites his bottom lip, “Wow, you hit home runs on the field, but nowhere else,” the corners of his mouth start to curl as he peers down at me, “and you want me to be the one to pop your cherry, huh?”
I hesitate, but then crack a smile, “Yeah,” I admit.
“Then say it.”
“Say what?”
Bo leans down, so close his nose touches mine, “I want to hear Superstar Maguire say she needs my cock.”
You have got to be kidding me, I roll my eyes with a huff, typical Bo…
“C’mon Maguire,” he slides his cock between my legs at a torturous pace, “open that pretty little mouth and tell me how much you want me to tear that pussy up.”
“Jesus, Bo…” I moan, half irritated and half losing my mind while I squirm beneath him, “don’t be such a dick. ”
Suddenly, he reaches up and seizes me under my jaw, rendering me silent. He tilts my chin up so I can’t move then lowers his voice to a more threatening tone, “Let me hear you say it before I change my mind and send your ass back to Hildy’s bed.”
A shiver runs down my spine. Who am I kidding? I’ll say whatever Bo wants me to right now because, frankly, it’s the truth. I’m only resisting because he’s being such a cocky prick about it.
I take a deep breath, “Bo…” I murmur, reaching up and slowly run my nails up his scalp. He releases my jaw and closes his eyes, rolling his forehead across mine as I run tracks up and down the back of his neck. I kiss him softly, “teach me to fuck like you…”
A deep groan rumbles through his chest as he runs his fingers through my hair, brushing it away from my face, “You going to tell Col he lost his chance?” he asks with a glint in his eyes.
“What? ”
Bo nudges my head to the side and runs his tongue up my neck, “You going to tell Col—” he starts sucking just beneath my ear, “that he’s never going to get his dick wet in your tight pussy?”
My eyes round, “Why would I say that to him?”
Bo doesn’t answer and flicks my earlobe, “He ever lick your pussy?” he murmurs in my ear.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I hiss, which only seems to amuse him.
“He hasn’t?” he asks with a devious grin.
“ No! ” my whisper cracks, “Why are you asking me that?”
“Why do you think I thought this wasn’t your first time?” Bo snickers, “If he hasn’t fucked you already, he definitely wants to.”
Oh my god. Is that what people think?
“He does not ,” I scowl up at him.
“If he’s got a brain in his dumb fucking head, he does,” Bo retorts. “You think he can dance that close to you at homecoming and prom and not feel anything?” He kisses me, sucking my bottom lip as he pulls back, “He was getting pretty close to you tonight. What was he saying to you?”
A lightning bolt shoots through my chest when I remember standing with Col by his car, fighting with him, and then not fighting anymore. The things he said, the things he did…
I meet Bo’s eyes, “He told me to stay away from you.”
“You don’t listen to Col anymore?”
“Not about you,” I reply as a smile creeps across my face.
“What’s he going to say when you tell him I’m the one making his stepsister come whenever she wants?” Bo presses his mouth into the side of my face, “Maybe he’ll ask if I’ll share. You know that’s what he wants, for you to get on your knees for him while we spit roast you.”
“Bo, that’s so gross,” I roll my eyes, “Col’s my brother.”
“He’s not your brother,” Bo pulls back and his eyes go dark, “his mom married your dad. That’s it.”
“Well, you’re not my brother, either,” I brush my fingers over his cheek and behind his ear, “what do you want to do to me?”
Bo bites his bottom lip and scans my face, “I’ll teach you how to fuck like me. But when I say, me , I mean only me. Because after tonight, the only one who touches you—” he leans closer, his eyes boring into mine, “is me. ”
Without even thinking, I start nodding. Parched and starving for his attention, I nod with excitement because Bo wants me, and all I want is him.
He reaches down between us and presses his cock against the wettest part of me, and then starts rocking back and forth. With every sharp breath or tense of my muscles, he slows, pulls back, and starts again until I feel my muscles relax and I start to move with him. Soon, every one of his movements feels like a torturous wave lapping at my flesh and I just want to feel him inside me .
“You want it?” Bo grins, feeling me pull at his hips, “Ask for it, Maguire. I’m not stopping until I fit.”
Damnit, Bo…
“Just—” I stammer, my eyes fluttering, “just do it… God, Bo, just fuck me… ”
A sinister grin spreads across his face, “And I swear to God, Evie, if Colson ever tries to touch you,” he notches his cock in my entrance, “ I’ll slit his fucking throat. ” He growls the last words, eliciting a gasp as he finally slides his entire length inside me.
Bo is fucking insane. And, for some reason, I really like it because, instead of recoiling as he threatens Col, all I can do is dig my nails into his back and stifle a cry while he stretches me and fills me completely. He slowly slides back and stops just short of pulling out, then lifts his hand and gently clamps it over my mouth.
“Baby girl,” he looks me in my eyes while I tremble beneath his palm, “this is the part that hurts . ”
My eyes round and, with a jerk of his hips, Bo slams his entire cock back inside me. I throw my head back, squeeze my eyes shut, and let out a muted scream against his hand. My legs go rigid, clenching his body while I claw at his back. But he doesn’t stop, he only holds me tighter so he can do it again, harder and deeper each time.
Gradually, the pain dulls with each jerk of his hips, until all I can feel is my nerves firing and adrenaline coursing through every vein. I cling to him and move with him, loving the feeling of being connected to him, being an extension of him, not being able to escape him...
Soon, his hand falls away from my mouth and he grabs my leg, hiking it up to his waist.
“ Bo…Bo… ” I whimper against his cheek, gasping with each thrust deeper than the last, “ Bo…Bo…Bo…” It’s a trance I never want to break.
“ Fuck , baby girl,” he moans, his rhythm speeding up, “keep saying my name.”
When he comes, I’m at the mercy of a feral beast who twists his claws into my hair and pulls my head back, licking and biting my throat like he’s about to eat me alive.
Maybe I wish he did.
After he finishes, his breaths slow but he lingers over me like he’s guarding a kill from scavengers. I don’t mind, because I wouldn’t mind suffocating in his jaws, like I’m suffocated by his intoxicating presence every day.
“Bo?” My voice shakes when I finally manage to form a sentence, “Can we do that again?”
He squeezes the top of my throat, tilting my face up to his, “You’re not going anywhere,” he scoffs, “I’m nowhere near done with you tonight. ”
Technically, Bo did teach me to fuck like him. Sneaking down the hall to his room, parking his car in the middle of nowhere, running around the woods with him, watching him scale the pine right outside my bedroom window—after that first night, I just wanted to be wherever he was. And it’s not difficult, he usually finds me before I find him.
I just have to figure out how to tell Hildy…eventually.
“I don’t care who you tell or don’t tell,” Bo says before I leave his bedroom to sneak back down the hall. He squeezes my chin between his thumb and forefinger, this time with a smile, “As long as you don’t forget who you belong to now, that’s all that matters.”
That’s all that matters.