Chapter 4
The stiff ache in my back is the first thing that greets me as consciousness slowly filters in. I’m on the couch, my body contorted into an uncomfortable position that only adds to the soreness of my muscles.
It takes me a moment, a few blinks, to register where I am—in my own cabin, a place that’s supposed to be a retreat from the world but now feels like a prison of memories.
I sit up, elbows digging into my knees, head heavy in my hands as the images from last night—or was it nights ago?—flash viciously through my mind.
Ty and Ava, tangled in sheets, the betrayal stark and vivid in their exposed flesh; my best friend letting my girlfriend ride the fuck out of him. I shake my head, willing away the visuals that claw at my insides.
Not now. I can’t think about it now.
I glance around, half expecting Gracie to be here, but she’s not. She must have been here, though; the soft blanket draped over me is proof of that. Only Gracie would think to cover me up.
I reach for my phone, and the glare from the screen is a jolt to my eyes. It’s past midnight. The missed calls and texts from Ava and Ty crowd the notification bar, but I swipe them away with a bitterness that tastes like ash in my mouth.
Instead, I open a new message to my manager and type out words that might as well be etched into my soul:
Taking an indefinite hiatus. Need some time.
I need space, I need silence, I need... Gracie.
The phone clatters onto the coffee table as I stand, feeling every inch of my frame protest. A hot shower is what I need to wash away the grime of sleep and the residue of last night’s revelations. The water is scalding, needles against my skin, but I welcome the pain. It’s something real, something tangible, unlike the chaos in my head.
After a shower that washes away the grogginess but none of the ache, I walk into the kitchen. There, on the counter, is a plate of mac and cheese, Gracie’s specialty. It’s still slightly warm, and next to it, a note in her scrawling handwriting
- ‘Eat up, rockstar. - G’.
It’s so Gracie, to think of the small things. She even remembered that mac and cheese is my comfort food. Her thoughtfulness, the normalcy of her care, brings a smile to my face. I eat because it’s Gracie’s cooking, because she left it for me, because in this mixed-up world, it’s one thing that still makes sense.
With the plate cleaned and the silence of the cabin pressing in on me, I make a decision. I need to be with the one person who makes everything else fade into the background.
The drive to her place is mechanical, muscle memory taking over where my mind is fogged with exhaustion and a numbing pain. I park in her driveway and sit for a moment, gathering the shards of myself together before getting out of the car.
Gracie hides a spare key in a loose brick underneath her welcome mat. For emergencies, she said, or just if I needed to crash. I let myself in, the familiar scent of her apartment wrapping around me like a warm embrace.
She’s asleep on the couch, the flicker of home videos playing on the TV casting a soft glow on her face. I smile when I see it’s our graduation video; back when things were simple, and I wasn’t off chasing stars.
There she is; with her mom, with me, with Sophie and Ty... snapshots of a life that feels both close and far away at the same time.
I switch off the TV, the sudden darkness a blanket over us both. Moving to her side, I scoop her into my arms, her body light and familiar. She stirs, a soft murmur escaping her lips as her arms instinctively wrap around my neck.
Her eyelids flutter open, a sleepy haze in her voice. “Connor? What are you doing?”
“Shhh, go back to sleep, Tink,” I whisper, carrying her to her bedroom. The trust in her eyes as she looks at me, half-awake, is almost my undoing. She doesn’t question me, like it’s the most natural thing in the world to have me here, taking care of her.
She curls up under the blankets when I lay her down, her blonde hair splayed across the pillow. I tuck her in, my hands lingering a moment longer than necessary, and she clings for a moment before I pull away. But then her eyes flutter, fighting sleep, her gaze locking onto mine.
“Don’t go,” she whispers, her voice laced with sleep as she grabs my hand. I don’t know why, but this makes me smile. At least someone still needs me.
“I’m not going anywhere, Gracie,” I assure her, and I mean it. Because right now, there’s nowhere else in the world I’d rather be.
I watch her, her chest rising and falling with each breath, the soft sounds of her sleep filling the quiet room.
Here, in this moment, everything else fades. The betrayal, the hurt, the relentless pressure of my life—it all recedes into the background. It’s just Gracie and me, and the unspoken bond we’ve always shared.
She’s the one constant in my life, the one person who’s seen every part of me, the good and the bad, and has never flinched. I wonder what she would think of me once I tell her how fucking stupid I was all this time to trust Ava and Ty.
God, I hope this feeling passes soon… and I hope Gracie won’t notice my pathetic neediness.