Chapter 11
LOGAN
“Come on, you can throw harder than that.”
“You’re being this harsh on me already?”
“Your knee was injured, not your arm, Lo.”
I chuckle as Kai chucks the football at me with more force than normal. I catch it with a thud against my chest.
“Your throw is still as good as ever,” I comment.
I wish I could keep practicing. I miss that burst of energy when I’d break into a sprint and slam into the blocking sleds, feeling the resistance keep me from pushing them down completely.
“You’re looking better. Much better than you did a few weeks ago,” Kai comments, smiling at me earnestly.
I blink. “Do I?”
He nods. “You have someone special you’re not telling me about or something?”
For some reason, my mind immediately goes to Alex. I guess I can attribute some of my newfound confidence and open-mindedness to him. It feels like he’s showing me new things without even trying.
“Or maybe Mikayla came crawling back?” Kai suggests.
I roll my eyes. “Sure.”
Kai shakes his head. “Whatever it is, I’m stoked that you’re happier. After what you’ve been through… I want you to experience life in the best way you can.”
My grip on the football loosens slightly, and my hands shake as the memory of the accident comes rushing back.
“Thanks,” I mutter.
I size Kai up. He’s still the same guy who took me under his wing during my freshman year.
It’s sad to think that he’s about to graduate or get drafted, but I want to be happy for him. He deserves to live his dream, even if I can’t.
“How’s school going?” Kai asks as I throw the ball back to him.
I shrug. “It’s… going. Still can’t get used to my journalism class, though. I’ve been reading the school paper to try and get better, but it’s not helping much.”
Kai chuckles. “Can’t you drop the class?”
I shake my head. “Nah, it’s too late.”
Kai throws the ball back to me. “You’ll find a way.”
I think of Alex again, remembering that he’s a journalism student. Maybe he can somehow help me.
“How’s Isaac doing?” I ask, throwing the ball back to him.
Kai shrugs. “He’s doing sophomore things. Trying everything and anything until he figures himself out.”
Sounds similar to me, even though I’m in my senior year. I wish I didn’t relate to Kai’s little brother so much.
Kai’s phone chimes.
He pulls it out of his pocket. “Practice time. Gotta head over.”
Then he glances down at the screen, and his eyebrows furrow.
“You okay?” I ask.
Kai looks at me. “There’s something going on with the team…”
“What is it?”
Kai looks at me like he’s still contemplating whether he wants to tell me. I have this buzzing feeling in my chest that tells me it has something to do with me.
“It’s Joel Whitlock… he’s been talking shit.”
“Joel always talks shit.”
Kai nods, but he has this concerned look on his face. “But it’s about you.”
My heart stutters, and I almost lose my grip on the football in my hand.
“What’s he saying?” I mutter.
“He’s saying that you and Mikayla didn’t work out because…”
Kai closes his eyes and looks like he might not end up telling me.
“Because you’re not into… girls.”
My limbs freeze.
What would make him think that?
The only relationships I’ve had my whole life have been with women, and I’ve certainly enjoyed my time with them.
Sure, I can appreciate a guy’s looks, especially my teammates, who have the bodies of Greek gods.
And yeah, I’d probably take a longer look at my teammates than most other guys in the locker room. But I was admiring them. I wanted to look more like them. That’s all it was.
Maybe Joel Whitlock caught onto that and twisted it into something else so he could keep Mikayla away from me.
I let a chuckle tumble out of my mouth to play it off.
“Well, that’s just not true. I am definitely into girls, so… neither of us should care.”
Kai studies me like he can tell I’m lying.
“You sure?”
“For sure. He’s just bitter because I’m Mikayla’s ex.”
Kai sighs. “Callum already tries to shut it down whenever it comes up, but they already hate each other, you know? Most of the team still loves you, but… you know not everyone is accepting of who Callum and I date…”
Anger bubbles up inside me as I remember how some of the team distanced themselves from Callum after he started dating Mason, and then did the same to Kai not long after.
Part of me was always scared rumors would start about me, too, even though I had no reason to worry.
“Joel’s a dick. The guys know that.”
“Yeah, I know. I just—I wanted you to know. Callum, Craig, and I are trying our best to shut it down.”
I smile at him. I’m so grateful he’s my best friend and that some of my old teammates still care about me.
“Thanks, man.”
I throw the ball back to Kai because I want to change the subject already.
Kai almost slips back into his usual laid-back disposition, but then that serious look returns to his face.
“You know…” He catches the ball and turns it over in his hands. “It wouldn’t be a big problem if you really felt that way, right?”
That buzzing in my chest comes back.
“Uh—I would hope so, since you’re into guys and girls yourself.”
Kai rolls his eyes. “I know, but—I just wanted to say it out loud.”
The buzzing in my chest mounts into a thrumming.
“Well, thanks, but Mikayla and I just weren’t right for each other. That’s all it is.”
Kai throws the ball back to me, and I catch it with a ferocity I didn’t have before.
“Yeah, I get it,” Kai mumbles.
He puffs out a breath. “Well, I gotta head to practice. I’ll see you back at home?”
I love that Kai calls our dorm room home. I think of it the same way because it feels like we can both be ourselves there. Even with how shitty things can be sometimes, I’m grateful my best friend is rooming with me.
“Yeah. See you,” I say, handing the ball back to him. “Say hi to Callum and Craig for me.”
Kai gives a salute with the football. “Will do. See you around, Lo.”
He pats my shoulder hard, but with affection, and jogs off toward the football field.
I sigh, pick up my bag, and take a look around.
My brain is telling me to head to the library so I can focus entirely on my paper and distract myself from whatever rumor Joel is cooking up. But there’s some kind of craving I’m unfamiliar with tugging me in the direction of the cafe.
It might just be the caffeine.
My phone starts ringing.
I sigh and pull it out of my pocket.
I freeze.
My mom is calling me, her name sending a searing pain through my stomach.
I’ve been avoiding her for the past few days.
I know what she’s going to ask.
She’s going to ask about my knee.
I want her to stop asking about it. I’m trying to move forward with my life.
I press silence on my phone and trudge toward The Honeycomb Cafe.
This pain in my knee has caused so many problems, and now Joel is becoming one of them.
I have to get this stupid legacy of my injury off my mind.
I’m tired of it defining me.