Chapter 18
LOGAN
The sounds of computer keys and scribbling pens are all I can hear in the library.
The only time I’ve really spent much time in here was with my team on our way to watch game film.
But that feels like a long time ago now, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned recently, it’s that I have to separate the current version of myself from the person I used to be.
I tap my pen against my notebook as my eyes dart between my notes and my laptop.
I sigh and pull off my hat, my focus waning as discouragement creeps in.
I glance around at everyone else, fully concentrated and engrossed in whatever they’re studying.
I keep trying to fit in with them, wanting to be like everyone else on campus.
I know I’m meant to accomplish something different than academic success, but I wish I could just focus.
I’m sure Alex would know exactly what to say about how I’m feeling right now.
I wish he were here studying with me. He’d probably keep me focused and motivate me to keep going.
He feels like my old coach, my teammates, and the best parts of Mikayla all wrapped into one person.
I pull out my phone, and my thumb hovers over my chat with Alex.
I bite my lip.
He did say he’d be open to studying together.
I just feel bad thinking about him and his family. Texting him on the weekend feels like I’d be bothering him. He’s probably busy taking care of his mom and sister, and he doesn’t need me distracting him.
But for some reason, I let my thumbs type out a question anyway.
Logan
Hey, you got any tips for focusing?
I can’t seem to focus on anything. History is boring.
I set my phone face down on the table and try to reorient myself in the chapter I’m studying.
My eyes keep darting back to it, waiting for it to vibrate, hoping I’ll hear back from him.
I need something to keep me going. My phone buzzes. I snatch it up immediately.
Alex
The only answer is caffeine, my friend.
I snort, warmth blooming in my chest as I start typing a response.
Logan
You’re just trying to take my money, aren’t you?
Alex
No, I’m giving you the advice you asked for. I’m not even working today, silly
I shake my head and bite my thumbnail as I search for a witty response, but my brain refuses to cooperate.
Instead, I decide to change the subject.
Logan
What are you up to today?
Alex
I’m just studying like you, but also suffering from distractions with my sister dancing around her room and blasting her music
I chuckle.
Logan
You don’t want to dance with her? What kind of big brother are you?
Alex
I don’t appreciate your tone.
Logan
My bad, I hope that you’re still able to get some work done otherwise?
It takes him a bit longer to respond, and I sit there with my phone in my hands, waiting for another text.
I feel ridiculous sitting in this library with notes to study and assignments to finish like everyone else, yet instead, I’m staring at my phone, texting someone just to distract myself.
Alex
Not really. Even the headphones aren’t helping. Idk, just can’t focus today.
My heart swells a little, knowing I’m not the only one struggling with distractions and that Alex feels that way sometimes, too.
I inhale and, against my better judgment, send him another text.
Logan
Would you want to go to a cafe to study or something?
Not the Honeycomb but I’m sure the town of Montgomery has another cafe to go to, right?
I mostly don’t want to hang out with Alex on campus for fear that Travis or Joel might see us and have something to say, and I don’t want to subject either of us to that.
I chew on my thumbnail as I wait for him to respond, my knee bouncing in anticipation.
Alex
Sure, I know one a few minutes away from my place. Meet you there?
I relax my shoulders and quickly text him back.
Logan
My car’s almost out of gas, it would take me a bit longer to get there if I walk if that’s okay?
Alex
Don’t stress, I’ll come pick you up on campus.
I start typing a response to object, but a second text from Alex pops up before I can send it.
Alex
And no, I will not accept any objections from you. I’m picking you up.
Meet me in front of the Lawson Building.
I smile at my phone. He’s reading my mind. He really must be some kind of psychic.
Logan
Fine, see you in a few.
I pack up my things in a hurry and leave the library, anticipation pulsing through me.
A black sedan pulls up to the curb outside the Lawson Biology Building and rolls down the window.
“Get in, Abbott,” Alex’s voice calls from inside.
He’s smiling at me from behind a pair of sunglasses, and for some reason, my heart skips a beat. He looks really good in sunglasses.
I open the passenger-side door and climb in, wincing as my knee aches.
“You okay?” Alex asks, his forehead creasing with concern.
I nod. “Yeah, my knee just hurt a bit getting in.”
“Oh—sorry, I didn’t—”
I shake my head. “It’s okay. It happens whenever I get in a car. I have to have the seat pushed all the way back so my legs don’t get squished.”
Alex nods. “Okay,” he says softly.
He puts the car in drive, and I pull the lever under the seat to get more legroom.
That’s when I notice how close Alex’s legs are to the steering wheel.
A chuckle slips out before I can stop it.
He glances at me while making a left turn out of the parking lot. “What?”
I shake my head, trying to hide my smile. “Nothing.”
“Logan,” Alex says, a warning in his voice.
“It’s nothing.”
“I will pull this car over and park on the side of the road until you tell me what you’re laughing at.”
I sputter out a laugh, and Alex shakes his head.
“Fine—okay. I just think it’s funny how close your legs are to the wheel.”
He glances down. “They are not!”
I nod. “They really are. It’s like you’re a toddler driving a car.”
“Hey, I’m not that short! I’m five-ten. And if you must know, my legs are pretty short, okay?”
I nod. “Okay.”
Alex shakes his head. “Do you want me to start making jokes about how big and long your legs are, Logan? Because I can go there.”
“Oh, I’d love to hear what you have to say about them, Ace,” I taunt.
“Ace?” Alex asks.
I glance at him, uncertainty gnawing at me. “You don’t like that?”
Alex swallows. “No. I, uh—I like it.”
Alex looks at me, then down at my legs, my shorts riding up against the seat.
I suddenly wish I hadn’t worn shorts today. He’s probably staring at the scar on my knee from surgery. I like to think not everyone notices it, but right now, it’s on full display.
His gaze lingers on my legs for a second longer, like he’s trying to come up with something to tease me about, but he doesn’t.
He just says nothing.
“If you get in a car accident, your legs are gonna get obliterated, you know,” I scold.
Alex scoffs. “I won’t get in one.”
“Can you even see over the steering wheel, shortstack?”
He throws a hand in my general direction like he’s trying to swat me away. “Not everyone is nine feet tall like you are, okay?”
I chuckle, clutching my chest as I realize how easy it is to get Alex riled up.
“Logan, I swear…”
“Fine, I’ll stop. I’ll be quiet,” I say, pretending to zip my mouth shut.
Alex exhales. “Good. Because I was one joke away from leaving you on the side of the road.”
I chuckle. “It would be deserved.”
The rest of the drive passes mostly in silence, with me watching the browning trees and people milling about on the sidewalks of the small town of Montgomery.
I’ve barely explored this place, even though the university is only ten minutes away. I usually stick to campus, but Montgomery is beautiful in its own right.
“I didn’t know this place was so…”
“Rustic? Boring?” Alex supplies.
I chuckle. “No, it’s cute. Like it belongs on a postcard.”
Alex snorts. “It loses its charm after you’ve lived here your whole life.”
Alex parks the car in front of a cafe.
He turns off the engine and climbs out. I follow suit, wincing as my knee twinges when I stand.
“Where do you live?” Alex asks as he shuts the car door.
“I live about an hour away. I see my parents once a month on the weekends. They used to come visit during home games, but…”
I trail off, adjusting the straps of my backpack as I stare at the ground.
“At least you’re close,” Alex says. “I’m sure your parents would like to see you more often, though.”
I shrug. “Maybe. I mostly try to avoid them. My dad likes to pretend I’m still in my glory days, and my mom kind of looks at me like I’m broken. It’s hard to deal with.”
Alex’s face crumples. “I’m sorry.”
A purple sign with a smiling gray crescent moon, indigo clouds, and yellow stars hangs above the cafe. The words Lullaby Cafe are stamped across the middle.
I follow Alex to the door, but then hurry ahead and hold it open for him.
He blinks, a flustered look crossing his face. “Thanks,” he says softly.
“Anytime,” I reply with a grin.
The smell hits me immediately: coffee, cinnamon, apples, and pumpkin. As the scent of coffee overtakes everything else, it’s like my entire body starts craving it. I hadn’t realized how badly I wanted a cup until now.
The cafe is much darker than I expected, warmly lit by strings of hanging bulbs.
A bookshelf lines the far wall, with small tables for two peppered around it.
Booths run along the left side of the cafe, with potted plants and greenery partitioning each table.
On the right is the counter, where a few baristas rush around handing coffees to customers.
It feels different from the Honeycomb. The Honeycomb is cozier, yet somehow louder because of the constant stream of customers. This place is calmer, and it feels like it might be easier to focus here.
“You should try a dirty chai here. It’s the best one you’ll ever have,” Alex says as he sets his bag on an empty booth along the left wall.
I frown. “A dirty chai?”
He nods. “It’s a chai latte with a shot of espresso in it.”
“Why on earth would anyone do that?” I ask as I set my things on the seat opposite him.
Alex smirks. “Because it tastes good and you get the best of both worlds. The cozy spices of chai with the adrenaline boost of espresso.”
He walks past me to get in line, and I follow after him, my head spinning as I stare up at the menu.