Chapter 18 #3
“You’ll have to give me some tips then, because it gets messy sometimes. I need a hat to cover it up,” I say with a smile.
She nods. “Okay.”
I settle back into my seat as Alex puts the car in drive.
“Her name is Naomi, by the way, not just Nay. I’m the only one who calls her that.”
“You can call me Nay, too, if you want, Logan.”
Alex whips his head around to look at her.
“What?” he asks.
I smile and turn to look at her too, and she just shrugs. “He compliments me more than you do.”
“He’s not being a good big brother?” I ask, looking between Naomi and Alex.
Alex’s eyes dart between us. “I don’t like this. You guys teaming up on me is unfair. I forbid this alliance between you two.”
I laugh. “Why would you stop us from giving each other fashion tips? I think you’re just a hater, don’t you think?” I say, looking back at Naomi.
She nods aggressively.
Alex looks at me with a smile, unable to hide it despite his reluctance.
“What book are you reading?” I ask Naomi.
“A Percy Jackson book. It’s really cool,” she says.
“I loved those books as a kid. Which one are you on?” I ask, smiling back at her.
“The third one.”
I nod. “That one’s my favorite.”
She nods in agreement.
Alex slows down in front of a house.
Warm light emanates from inside, and smoke billows from the chimney above. I can smell it even from the car.
“We’re home, Nay. I still have to drop Logan off at school.”
“Why can’t he come for dinner?” she asks.
I chuckle and look at Alex.
He shakes his head. “He has things to do and his own dinner. Maybe some other time.”
“Okay,” Naomi says, clearly disappointed.
She gathers her things. “Bye, Logan. It was nice to meet you.”
“You too, Naomi. Let me know what you think of the book when you finish,” I say, smiling at her.
She nods and gets out of the car. “See you soon, Alex.”
Alex nods once, and I watch as Naomi runs to the door and clambers into the house.
“She’s got spunk,” I say.
He rolls his eyes. “And she knows it. She uses it against me all the time.”
Alex puts the car in drive and heads back toward campus.
I want to tell him that I’d love to come over for a Fields family dinner and get to know Naomi and their mom better. Their home looks as cozy as the Lullaby Cafe.
“I wish I had siblings. It feels lonely sometimes, just having my parents.”
Alex snorts. “You’re not missing out, trust me. Sometimes they’re a nightmare.”
He sighs. “Actually, I don’t really mean that. I love Naomi a lot. She’s a big part of my life, and especially after my dad left, I feel very responsible for her. I just want to make sure she’s safe and happy. She can be a pain in the ass, like I said, but to me... it’s worth it.”
I love that beneath all the annoyance and defenses Alex puts up, he truly loves his little sister.
The towering oak and maple trees lining the grounds of Montgomery University come into view as Alex pulls up to my dorm building.
“We’ve finally arrived at our destination. We hope you enjoyed the detour and taking the scenic route,” Alex says in a flight-attendant voice.
I chuckle. “I really did enjoy it.”
Alex frowns. “You did?”
I nod. “I like knowing more about your life and getting to see who you are outside of college. It’s nice.”
Alex bites his lip and glances down at my mouth.
I lick my lips, thinking there might be some leftover cinnamon from my drink, but there’s nothing.
“I, uh—I liked it too. It was... nice,” Alex says softly.
We both fall silent for a moment, the patter of rain filling the space between us.
My eyes trail along the beads of water lining his collarbone. How droplets still trickle from his dark hair onto his rain-spotted jeans.
How the dim amber glow of the lamppost outside lights up his black eyes in the darkness.
He looks beautiful.
I don’t think I’ve ever considered a man beautiful before, but Alex is.
Alex is still looking at my lips, and my eyes settle on his, too.
I want to lean toward him. I want to get closer.
Against my better judgment, I tilt my head forward, and I watch as Alex does the same, as if he’s been watching my movements and waiting for me to make the first move.
But the second I move forward, I stop and jerk back.
I clear my throat. “So, uh—I’ll see you soon, then?”
Alex blinks, then purses his lips and nods. “Yeah, uh—sure. Soon,” he says, his voice hoarse.
I try to open the car door, but it’s locked.
Alex unlocks it for me. “Well, uh—get home safe... and dry. Hope your workout goes, uh... well.”
I jump out of the car like it’s about to catch fire and throw Alex a quick goodbye before shutting the door behind me.
I sprint across the wet pavement and into the safety of the dorm building.
I turn around and watch Alex drive away through the evening rain.
A heaviness settles in my chest, pressing down on me like it’s something I should be afraid of.
My hands tremble as I yank open the dorm door and slowly make my way up the stairs.
I enter my room to find Kai sprawled across his bed, flipping through a sports magazine.
He grins at me.
“Yo, Lo.”
“Hey,” I reply, trying not to let the panic in my voice show.
Kai puts down his magazine. “Where’d you come back from?”
“I, uh—was just with Alex. We went to a cafe to study.”
Kai sits up. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with Alex, huh?”
Panic rushes through me as I take off my hat and jacket.
“Uh-huh,” I say, trying to sound casual.
“He seems nice. You seem a lot more like yourself whenever you come back from seeing him.”
I peel off my wet shirt and pull on a dry one instead.
“Do I?”
He nods. “I mean, like I said earlier, you just seem happier. Happier than you were even before the... accident.”
I don’t say anything. I don’t really want to entertain this conversation right now, even though I know Kai means well.
Kai grins at me. “I think Alex is a really good person for you to be around.”
I nod, my heart warming at the thought of Alex’s welcoming smile and the way he scrunches up his face in concentration when he’s studying.
I clench my fists and try to force the image out of my head.
“Yeah, I, uh—I needed something different after Mikayla and... everything.”
Kai gives me a look I can’t quite decipher. It’s similar to the ones Callum gives me, like he knows something I don’t.
“And Alex is, uh... single?” Kai asks.
I frown. “Yeah, he is. Why? You interested?”
Kai snorts. “No, uh—well, not in him, but—”
“Why are you asking?” I interrupt, wondering how we even got onto this subject. I just want to go to sleep and hope this anxiety pulsing through me goes away so I can get back to my life.
“I just... wanted to know. You spend a lot of time together and... I don’t know. I was just wondering if he had someone else and was making enough time for them, too.”
“Him. He likes guys,” I correct.
Kai nods. “Yeah, I know, but...”
He stares at me, rocking back on his heels like he wants to say something but is afraid to.
My heart races.
“But what?”
Kai opens his mouth, then closes it again.
“Nothing. Just forget about it.”
He lies back down on his bed and opens his magazine as if he hadn’t said anything at all.
I want to push him, to ask what he’s implying and why he’s thinking that of me.
I already have an idea of what he means, but the reality of it makes me want to collapse on the floor and never get back up.
“I gotta go to bed. I have an early class tomorrow,” I mumble.
Kai doesn’t look up from his magazine. “Okay. Goodnight, Lo.”
“Night.”
I fall into bed and pull the covers over my head.
I don’t like what Kai is implying.
He might be my best friend, but he doesn’t understand that Alex is different from everyone else. He’s becoming a special friend.
He’s helping me find my footing again, and I’m helping him with his mom.
That’s all it can be.
But being around Alex gives me the same rush of interest I used to get when looking at guys in the locker room in high school. Like he’s something I can look at, but not for too long.
Right now, it feels like I’ve been looking at him for far too long.
And I know that if I keep looking, people will notice.