Chapter 24
I attempted to roll over, but I encountered fur in my nose. I cracked my eyes open and saw a dog nestled up against me. I’d been spooning Cuddle Bug.
The clock on the microwave read five-thirty. My groggy brain finally put the pieces together; I’d fallen asleep last night on Jazz and Brielle’s couch.
I wondered what had woken me up, but then I heard it: the sound of the shower.
After gently nudging Cuddle Bug off the couch, I was able to sit up. They’d left the stove light on which gave me just enough illumination to see the coffee table and not bash my knee.
There was a snick of a key sliding into the lock and then the door opened. Jazz was carrying her shoes and trying to be stealthy, but Cuddle Bug went to investigate which only startled Jazz. She knocked into the entryway table and let out a low curse.
“I’m awake,” I announced.
“Oh, thank God,” Jazz said. She quickly closed the door and set her shoes down.
“I didn’t mean to fall asleep on your couch. You should’ve woken me.”
“Don’t worry about it. You looked far too peaceful to wake up. I sent Savage a text to let him know you were crashing with us.”
“Oh. Thanks for that,” I said. “Uh, not to be dramatic, but I’ve got about five minutes before my body realizes it’s awake and decides to upchuck.”
“There’s a second bathroom.” Jazz pointed to a door I hadn’t noticed before. “Do what you need.”
“Thanks. So you were with Homer?”
“I was,” she admitted. “He came up here after you fell asleep. And I let him convince me to spend the night with him. The man does not know how to share a bed, though. I didn’t get any sleep.”
“Uh-huh,” I drawled.
She giggled. “Seriously. Anyway, I’m gonna feed the dogs, then take them out for a bathroom break. Then I’m napping for a few hours before I have to be at the bakery.”
My stomach swirled and I jumped up off the couch. “Oh no.”
Jazz stepped out of the way as I barreled past her to the second bathroom. A few minutes later, I was back on the couch.
I heard a door open and a moment later Brielle strode out in a robe, a towel wrapped around her head. “Thought I heard you guys moving around,” Brielle said. “You mind if I hit the light and get the coffee going?”
“Have at it,” I said. “And what you really heard was me throwing up.”
The kitchen light came on. “I did hear that, yes.” Brielle smiled. “But I was trying to be nice first thing in the morning. Jazz came back?”
“Yep. She took the dogs out.” I cocked my head to the side. “You’re up early.”
“I gotta get to work and decorate a hundred cupcakes.” She grimaced. “I can drop you off at home if you want.”
“That would be great, thanks.”
“Can I get you anything? Toast? Orange juice?”
“Both of those, actually.” I laughed. “So, when exactly did I conk out? I don’t even remember falling asleep.”
“Jazz was in the middle of picking her wedding colors. I would’ve passed out too, but she is my best friend. And I’m going to be maid of honor.”
“She’s talking about a wedding already? I thought she was making Homer work for it.”
“She is,” Brielle said. “But she’s also Jazz, and she’s wanted him for years. So the moment she believes he’s truly committed, she’s gonna want a wedding.”
“Wild.”
Brielle shrugged. “My parents will be overjoyed. They’ve started demanding grandbabies. Roman gets it the worst because he’s the oldest. But when Homer and Jazz tie the knot, the focus will be off the rest of us. Which is why I say the sooner the better.”
“So you want kids?”
“Eventually.” Brielle pulled out the orange juice carton and poured a glass. “Kinda hard to give them grandchildren because my brothers scare off any man trying to get close to me. So I’m kind of in a lose-lose situation. I might have to move just so I can date in peace.”
“You wouldn’t really move, would you?” I asked, taking the glass she brought me.
“Nah. I can’t imagine living away from my family, but man, they make it hard sometimes.”
The front door opened and the dogs still on leashes bounded into the living room. Cuddle Bug jumped up next to me and I removed her leash and gave her ears a scratch.
Fluffernutter ran in circles around Brielle’s legs and then sat so Brielle could take off his leash.
“Homer says he’ll give them a longer walk later before he goes to work,” Jazz announced. She looked at me. “Another perk of her brother living in the building? We time-share the dogs.”
“What happens when you and Homer live together? Who gets the dogs?” I asked.
“We haven’t really talked about it,” Brielle admitted.
“Because up until a few days ago, the idea of me and Homer together was just a fantasy.”
“What about you, though?” Brielle asked as she put two slices of whole grain toast into the toaster and pressed the lever.
“What about me?” I frowned.
“I mean, what are you going to do about the apartment you’re living in?” Brielle asked.
“Still not following.”
“Well, you can’t stay there forever,” Brielle said. “It’s sort of a transition place, for women in need, right?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I haven’t thought too far ahead, actually. It’s not like I have the money to get a real place yet.”
“What about Savage?” Jazz inquired, taking a seat on the couch.
“What about him?” I asked.
“Has he said anything to you about moving to a place more permanent?”
“No.”
Her question made my mind swirl. He lived at the clubhouse which wasn’t a viable solution for the future. But we hadn’t discussed it yet.
The toaster popped.
“Butter?” Brielle asked.
I shook my head.
“Dry toast?” Jazz wrinkled her nose. “Yuck.”
“When you’re puking your guts up because you’re pregnant with Homer’s baby, then maybe you’ll understand the need for bland,” I said.
“Homer’s baby . . .” She sighed.
“Oh crap,” Brielle muttered. “Full steam ahead, huh, Jazz?”
“Hmm. Fuck this slow crap. I’ve waited too long already.”
There was a box of Moonglow pears and a note waiting for me on my doorstep. I looked at the door across the hall, wondering if my neighbor was on the other side, staring at me through the peephole. In case she was, I smiled and waved before going into my own apartment.
My apartment that had no personal touches and no dog to greet me.
My apartment that had no men’s boots by the door, and no leather cut hanging in a closet.
Savage wasn’t here.
I liked waking up next to him. I liked our morning routine of pickle juice and croissants. I liked his toothbrush resting next to mine.
I liked the permanence of him, but this apartment was just the opposite.
It was six-thirty in the morning when I texted Savage, so I didn’t expect a reply. I set my phone aside.
Then I got to work peeling the pears.
I was halfway through the box when Savage walked through the front door holding a crate of canning jars.
“Good morning,” I greeted with a smile, my eyes raking over him as I set down the peeler. “Your face doesn’t look too worse for wear.”
He set the crate down on the counter and then wrapped his arms around me to kiss me hello. When he pulled back, he said, “I asked Acid to spare my pretty face.”
“You sleep okay?” I asked.
“As well as I can when you’re not next to me,” he admitted. “My clubhouse bed is comfortable, but I don’t like it there without you, babe. I need to be able to feel you next to me.”
“Hmm.” I kissed him again. “I think I have to be honest with you. I slept with a very furry companion last night. She doesn’t kiss as well as you, though.”
He grinned. “Yeah, Brielle sent a photo of you spooning her dog. Fucking cute as hell. That’s the only way I’ll ever share you, babe.”
“I was just going to make some breakfast. Have you eaten?”
“No,” he croaked, his gaze sliding down my body. “I haven’t eaten.”
I pointed at him. “Behave.”
“But it’s my favorite thing to eat.”
My insides quivered and desire swirled through my belly. “You can have that for dessert. If you’re a good boy and eat your entire breakfast.”
He sat on a stool at the counter. I moved the pears to one side to give myself some room. I grabbed the carton of eggs and cracked several into a mixing bowl.
“Now I get why you needed the canning jars,” Savage said. “Where did you get the pears?”
“My neighbor across the hall,” I said, whisking the eggs and turning on a stove burner. “They were on my doorstep when I got home this morning.”
“And you still haven’t met each other, huh?”
“Not yet. I’ll leave a jar of pear jam on her doorstep to thank her.”
“Why don’t you just knock on the door and introduce yourself?”
“I’m waiting for her to make the first move. She’s skittish. You gotta be patient with this sort of thing.” I dumped the eggs into a pan and they sizzled.
“Hmm. So, tell me about last night. Give me the deets.”
“You’re such a gossip,” I said with a laugh.
“Damn right. What happened between Jazz and Homer?”
“They’re together. But like, not together , together.”
“I don’t have any idea what that means.”
“It means Jazz wants to be wined and dined, but Homer wants to rush through all the steps of dating and just be in a committed relationship. But Jazz also doesn’t seem like she’s going to make him wait long either.”
The eggs were cooked, and I used the spatula to spoon them onto two plates and set the bigger pile in front of Savage. “Juice?”
“Sure.”
I opened the fridge. “So can I talk to you about something?”
“Shoot.”
I poured him a glass and then another for myself. “What are we going to do about my living situation?”
“What do you mean?”
I gestured to the apartment. “This is a transition place, for women in need. I should move out and find something else. Something more permanent.”
“Ah.”
“There’s one issue with that, though,” I said.
“Which is?”
“Money. As in, I don’t have any. I mean, I have a little from the few fights I worked before you got me fired. And as much as I love working at Three Kings it’s not gonna cut it. Not for rent, a car, and all the baby stuff I’m going to need for twins.”
Savage picked up his fork and took a bite of his eggs. “These are good.”
“Thanks.”
He continued to eat, looking completely nonplussed.
“Are you going to say anything?”
“Eat your eggs. Protein is good for you and the babies.”
“Savage . . .”
“I already bought a car for us, so you don’t have to worry about that.”
“Yeah.” I nodded slowly. “Technically I guess you did, but I don’t drive it and it’s not really?—”
“You’re on the title,” he interrupted. “It’s your car.”
“Seriously?”
“Yup.”
“Well, that’s news to me.” I took a sip of my juice.
“Don’t worry about rent, either. I’ll cover it. We’ll start looking for a place that’s big enough for the four of us when you’re ready, okay?”
I shook my head. “Not okay.”
“Why not? Are you worried about us living together?” He smirked. “Hate to break it to you, but we already live together. I moved in without you even noticing.”
“I noticed—and it’s not that. It’s . . .”
“Tell me.”
“You promise you won’t get mad?”
“No. Now tell me what’s on your mind. I’m listening.”
“You’ve been so generous, Savage. The car and the doctor’s appointment. Wanting to go to the birthing classes . . . God, it’s been wonderful.”
“Then what’s the issue?”
“I don’t want you to think that I—that because my past was hard and I came to this city with nothing . . . I don’t want you to think all I want from you is your money.”
“Babe,” he said gently. “I could never think that. Ever. But I can take care of you, and I’m already in love with you.”
I swallowed. “Randall controlled our money. And in the end, I had nothing to my name.”
“Ah, I see what this is really about.” He nodded. “Okay.”
“Okay what?”
“I’ll never use money to control you. We’ll set up a bank account that I have no access to and I’ll put money in there and you spend it however you want.”
“Which again, that’s so generous of you, Savage. But that’s the whole point. It’s still your money. It’s still you giving it to me. I want to make my own way in this world, even though we’re together.”
“Tell you what.” He got up off his stool and came to me. “I’ll cover the big things, okay? You keep your money and spend it however you want, and if you wanna start saving and buying cars and houses I’m good with that too.”
“But how are you okay with that?” I asked in shock.
“Because money is one of those things that’s only able to control you when you don’t have it. But I’ve already got money. What am I supposed to spend it on if not you and the babies?”
I sighed. “You’re wonderful.”
“I know.” He kissed my nose. “Eat, babe. And don’t worry.”
He let me go and I picked up my fork. After I swallowed a bite, I asked, “What kind of place do you want? Something open, like a loft or . . .”
“You know, I’ve never really thought about it,” he said.
“No?”
He shook his head. “As long as the place is comfortable, what do I care what it looks like?”
“But what does comfort look like for you?” I asked.
“What does it look like for you ?” he countered. “Do you like this apartment? The layout? The size? The colors?”
“I’d prefer a place with no stairs.”
“Why no stairs?”
I took a deep breath and then said, “If there are no stairs, no one can push you down them.”
My admittance weighed in the air between us. I kept my gaze trained on him. His body tightened and he looked ready to spring from his stool. He clenched his fists instead.
“I shouldn’t have said that,” I said with a worried frown. “Now you’ll have to go back to The Ring.”
He shook his head. “Don’t ever feel like you can’t share something like that. Even if it makes me want to punch a wall.”
“Just when I think I’m moving past it, I—things come up.”
“Damn it,” Savage muttered. “I’d kill him myself if he were still alive. The idea of him hurting you . . .”
He got up off his stool and came around the counter to me. Savage reached out and pulled me to him.
I buried my nose in his chest and breathed him in.
“You never flinch,” he murmured against my hair.
“Hmm?”
“When I approach you or touch you. You don’t jump or pull back.”
“I feel safe around you. Protected.” I tilted my head back so I could meet his eyes. “I’m not afraid of you.”
His hand cradled my face, and he skimmed a thumb across my cheek. “And I’ll never give you a reason to be.”