Chapter 5 #2
When I'm done, the silence stretches out long enough that I think maybe I said too much.
Then I brush some stray hairs from her face, caressing her face. "Who are you now?"
She lets out a breath that's almost a laugh. "Beck."
"What? You asked me. It's a fair question."
She's quiet as her thumb moves once against my chest, as if she's bracing herself.
"I'm a woman who likes lists, color-coded organization, and systems that make my life easier to manage. Hell, my meticulously curated binder helped win my divorce, though my ex’s cheating did the heavy lifting on that one,” she says, and there's that dry catch in her voice that tells me she's trying for light.
"I'm a sister and a daughter and a damn good trainer.
I'm also a country girl who could shoe a horse before she could drive a car. That's the easy version."
The fire pops.
"The harder version is—I'm a woman who married a man much too young because he was charming and full of plans.
Six months in he asked me to quit training.
Said the travel was hard on him. So I gave it up for two years.
I went from being a woman with a life to being a wife, and I didn't notice it happening until I started feeling as if I was disappearing inside my own house. "
She takes a deep breath.
"I came back to training part-time eventually.
Built it back up the best I could on the side.
And the first time I asked Cole about his assistant he told me I was paranoid.
Said I was the problem. And I apologized.
" She huffs a sound. "I apologized to my cheating husband for listening to my gut. That's who I was a year ago."
I tighten my arm around her.
"Who I am now is somebody trying to put herself back together out of mismatched parts.
And the worst of it is that I knew. I just kept making excuses, since the alternative was admitting I'd built my whole life around a man who was lying to my face.
" Her voice lowers. "So now I’m having a hard time trusting myself.”
She angles her face up to mine. “I look at you and I think you’re a good man, Beck. But now there’s this other voice saying, that's what you thought about Cole."
"I get it, darlin’,” I say on an exhale. “But you wanna know what I think?"
She blinks up at me. "What?"
"I think your gut wasn't wrong about him. I think your gut told you years before you listened. Maybe in the beginning, you were just young and stupid. Like me. " I tip her chin up so she has to face me. "Your gut works fine, Laurel. You just gotta listen to it more closely."
Her big green eyes are shimmering.
"And if your gut tells you I'm worth a shot, someday, then I'll be here….waiting.”
She smiles. “You’d wait for me?”
“Of course. But if you keep looking at me like that, I may not make it very long.”
She chuckles and her hand slides up and into my hair. “I don’t want to wait.”
I exhale as she pulls me down to her mouth.
The kiss starts soft. She tastes like rain and the coffee from this morning, and the second my tongue slides over hers she makes a low, hungry sound in the back of her throat that goes straight through my chest and lights up everything south of my belt.
My cock goes stone-stiff, pushing against the front of my sweats with enough urgency to make my hips roll into her on pure instinct.
The blanket falls off her shoulders and the flannel gapes at the collar. I drag my mouth down her jaw, down her throat, into that sexy place at the base of her neck, and she shivers against my lips.
"Beck…"
"This okay, darlin’?" I ask.
"God, yes."
"Mmm…" I scrape my teeth along the cord of her neck, and her whole body bows toward me. "You sure? 'Cause once I get my mouth on you proper, I'm not stoppin' till you're shakin' under me."
"Yes—"
I get her down on the wool blanket so I'm on my good leg with her under me, the fire throwing orange across one side of her face and shadow across the other. I unbutton her flannel one button at a time, because I’ve been picturing this since I saw her and I refuse to rush it.
The shirt falls open down to her sternum, and Christ—she's not wearing a damn thing under it. She must've stripped the bra off when she changed, and the sight of her bare tits just about undoes me where I'm kneeling.
"Fuck, those are sweet, baby." My voice has gone rough enough I barely recognize it.
She’s gorgeous. Lean, but so soft where it matters, with a faint farmer's-tan line at her shoulders.
Her nipples are already pebbled tight, dusky pink and the prettiest things I've ever laid eyes on.
I push the flannel the rest of the way off her shoulders, baring her down to her waist, and my mouth waters.
I cup one of her tits in my palm, squeezing the full, warm weight of it, then rub my fingers across her nipple.
She gasps.
"Damn," I murmur. "See how stiff that little peak gets for me? Bet I could make you come just from teasing these nipples. We'll find out sometime."
She makes a strangled sound and bites her lush lower lip.
I grin and lean down to suck on her flesh.
“Oh!” Her hand comes up to the back of my head and her fingers fist in my hair, the sting going straight to my cock.
I work her with my tongue—flat strokes, then the tip, then sealing my lips around her and sucking in long, deep pulls until she's writhing under me.
I switch to the other and give it the same treatment, as slowly as I can manage, because I love hearing her pant and mewl.
And when I drag my teeth lightly across her nipple, her moan near breaks me.
"Beck—" she gasps, and starts pushing my shirt up.
I sit back long enough to strip the T-shirt over my head, and her hands are on me in a flash. She runs them over my chest, through the dark hair, down my ribs, and over the ridges of my abs.
Her palm slides down my stomach and over the bulge of my aching cock through the fabric. "Christ, darlin'—"
"You're huge." Her voice has gone breathy. She massages me through my pants, working her hand up the length of my cock, and it’s heaven. "This isn't gonna fit."
"Don’t worry, baby." I grit out through my teeth. "I'll get you so wet for me, you'll be slidin' down on it and beggin' for more."
I catch her wrist, and bring it to my lips, before I lose what's left of my mind. "But first…I'm gonna eat that beautiful pussy 'til you can't see straight. Lay back."
Her cheeks are pink and her chest is heaving as she lays back on the blanket.
“You warm enough that I can get you naked? We’ll leave the socks on, though,” I say, with a wink.
She nods. “I’m burning up.”
“Good,” I tug the flannel the rest of the way off, and peel her tiny panties from her and there she is—bare in front of the fire on my wool blanket, sexy and flushed and mine for the night. I have to close my eyes for half a second to catch my breath.
Then I spread her thighs wide.
"Goddamn." I drop down on my elbows between her legs, and she's already glistening for me. "Soaked already."
"Yes, you make me so wet."
"Good girl."
I drag the flat of my tongue right up the middle of her, from bottom to top, and she nearly writhes off the blanket. The taste of her hits me like a shot of whiskey, sweet and salty, and I have to grip her thighs to hold her in place.
"That's it." I do it again, slower. "You taste incredible, baby.”
I take my time, relishing in her shivers and moans. I lick long, flat strokes up her seam, delving into her silky folds, feeling her shake. I suck her clit, lightly then harder, and circle it with the tip of my tongue.
"Beck—"
“Yes, darlin’," I mumble against her, and she jerks and whimpers as if she's been shocked.
"I'm—oh god—I'm gonna…"
"Yeah you are." I sink my tongue into her, then tease her clit between my lips, then suck. "Come in my mouth. Give it all to me.”
And with another loud moan, she does.
Her hand fists so tight in my hair, my eyes water as her thighs try to squeeze my ears. But I hold them open, working her pussy as it spasms under my tongue. I groan against her, slowly easing the pressure, licking her as I savor every last drop as she comes down trembling.
When I lift my head, my scruff is wet, her chest is heaving, and her eyes are glassy.
"Hey." I crawl up her body, kissing her sweat-slicked skin on the way. "Darlin', you okay?”
She pulls me down on top of her hard. Her mouth opens under mine and she licks into it, tasting herself on my tongue, and my hips grind down into hers as I kiss her back.
"Take me now." She says it against my mouth, ragged. "Do you—have a condom?”
I press my forehead to hers, panting. "Uh…yeah, um…let me think. There’s probably one in the bag.” I start to get up, but she shoves me so I fall onto my back next to her.
“I’ll look for it.” She gets up and is such a glorious sight buck-naked in socks, as she rifles through the bag.
"God, I love you," falls out of my mouth before I can stop it, and she turns with a condom in her hand, eyes wide. "I'm sorry. I mean—I didn't mean to—"
"It’s okay, just…pull your sweats down," she says, and that alone makes me love her even more.
What is wrong with me?
I get the sweats down to my knees. They won’t be going further, unless I take off the brace.
She comes back down and her eyes drop to my cock. The look on her face is both stunned and hungry, and my dick bobs in anticipation.
She takes a deep breath. “Stay on your back. It’ll be easier on your ankle if I ride you.”
Sweet Christ.
"Darlin'." My voice is so hoarse. “If you wanna kill me, just say so. It’ll be quicker."
She huffs a laugh and rips the condom open, and I prop myself on my elbows to watch her crawl back over me. She straddles my thighs, those pretty pink folds glistening in the firelight, and the sight of her has my cock leaking precum onto my stomach.