Chapter 30
ADELINE
Before Zach and I had started dating, we’d never touched each other. On occasion, he’d hook his pinkie finger around mine, just to let me know he was there, but outside of that, we’d pretty much only hugged.
We’d been strictly platonic until suddenly, that morning, we’d become everything but. Back then, I hadn’t been nearly as experienced as him, but he’d taken great pleasure in teaching me every little thing there was to know.
Although I’d been shy at first, self-conscious of how much he turned me on and embarrassed about some of the reactions he’d elicited from me, he’d eventually coaxed me out of my shell. Slowly but surely, he’d helped my confidence grow and encouraged me to explore anything and everything with him.
For months, we’d spent days at a time locked in his apartment, sometimes worshiping each other and making slow, sweet love, and sometimes, well, it hadn’t been slow or sweet at all.
That year we’d spent together was still the subject of every one of my rare fantasies, but over the years I’d spent with Louis, I’d lost touch with my sexuality.
I’d lost touch with that confidence Zach had instilled in me and I’d definitely lost touch with my own pleasure.
Even back when Louis had been interested in me, it had mostly been for baby-making purposes, and that didn’t require pleasure on my end. He’d also been stressed, busy, and generally just too wrapped up in himself to consider either romance or spice in the bedroom.
Because of all that, I’d honestly thought I’d lost my spark. It’d been ages since I’d even felt the need to touch myself and years since I’d last been touched by anyone else, which was why it took me by surprise that my body reacted to Zach as viscerally as it did as soon as he kissed me.
With those soft but firm lips sealed over mine, his tongue hungrily exploring my mouth and his hard body pressed against me, I moaned before we even tumbled onto the bed.
My hands roamed up and down the strong planes of his back.
My panties were drenched within seconds of him pinning me to the mattress.
“God, Adeline,” he groaned into my mouth, kissing me once more before letting his lips trail to my throat. “I can’t wait to taste you again. To feel you again.”
He pressed kisses to my neck and collarbone, holding himself up on one elbow above me. His free hand dragged along my mid-line, over my clothes, but still making my heart race. I was already breathless, arching into his touch even though he kept his palm fractions of an inch above my body.
“Zach,” I moaned again, sliding my fingers into his hair and shutting my eyes. “I’m… I…”
How am I supposed to tell him that I don’t look the same? How do I prepare him for any of it?
He lifted his head to look into my eyes, his own half-lidded and blazing with need.
In fact, his entire handsome face was lined with it, those chiseled features almost angry and his lips parted.
I still knew this man well enough to know that meant he was halfway gone already, out of his mind and about to drive me out of mine in turn.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, breathing heavily as he held my gaze. “Do you want me to stop?”
“No. God no.” I caught his face between my palms, feeling the slight rasp of today’s stubble on his jaw against my skin. “It’s just that I don’t want you to be disappointed.”
“Why the fuck do you think I would be dis—” Comprehension dawned in his eyes and he groaned, letting out a soft scoff as he brought one of his hands to the side of my neck, his thumb gently stroking my cheek.
“This is the last thing I want to be thinking about right now, but he really did a number on you, didn’t he? ”
I held his gaze, hesitating before I dropped my chin in a shallow nod. “Yeah, but it’s not only that.”
He lowered his forehead to mine, reminding me of the very first time we’d done this together, his thumb still stroking my cheek as he inhaled a deep breath. Just like he had that morning, when I’d stopped to warn him that I probably wasn’t going to be what he was used to.
Even then, I’d been afraid of disappointing him. Just for very different reasons than I had today. I suppose the more things change, the more they really do stay the same.
“Adeline, listen to me,” he said when he lifted his head just far enough to look into my eyes again.
“It’s just me and you now, okay? It’s only us, but the choice is yours.
I can either spend at least the next hour telling you about all the stuff I’ve thought about doing to you since we got here, or I can just show you how much I still want you.
I don’t give a shit what you think you look like now.
The fact is that to me, it’s been hard just being around you.
Literally. Don’t even get me started on the moment you took that swim cover off the other day. ”
A small, shaky smile formed on my lips. “Seriously?”
He groaned, sliding his palm along the length of my arm until he found my hand and closing his fingers around mine. “Seriously.”
“Then show me,” I whispered, my heart skipping and my entire body suddenly feeling hot. “I’d rather see for myself than sit around for an hour, talking about it.”
A slow smirk spread across his lips. “That was the right answer.”
He started easing himself off me immediately, reaching for the collar of his shirt and pulling it off over his head before he was even off the bed.
Once his feet hit the floor, he moved deliberately, first flicking on the lamp on the nightstand to illuminate the room with more than just ambient light from outside.
Then he came to stand right in front of me.
I propped myself up on my elbows to watch, amazed at how the years suddenly just melted away, even taking some of my insecurities with them.
Because now that he was standing, I could see the giant tent in his jeans, and with the light on, I could also make out a lot more of his expression as he stared at me, his gaze now openly raking across my bare legs and the hint of cleavage beneath the modest neckline of the dress.
He ran his eyes up and down my body, like he couldn’t decide what he wanted to look at more. My breathing sped up and a fresh wave of slick heat pooled between my legs. He swiped a tongue across his lips as he kicked off his shoes, finally bringing his gaze back up mine as he undid his fly.
In my periphery, I could see his strong arms, stacked abs, and even those delicious lines on his hips, but I wouldn’t even pretend that I wasn’t staring straight at his crotch, waiting for the grand reveal.
He let out a breathy chuckle but didn’t keep me waiting longer, shoving both the jeans and his underwear down and kicking them away.
Bare-ass naked now, he watched me stare at him, wrapping a hand around his very hard shaft and stroking slowly.
A bead of wetness glistened right at his tip and my breath caught.
When we’d been together, Zach hadn’t been a guy who’d leaked pre-cum often.
Only when he was severely, desperately turned on. That boosted my confidence.
Now, the only thing he wore was that same cocky, sexy smirk on his lips that he used to get just before he blew my mind. “Satisfied?” he asked.
I shook my head slowly from side to side, my mouth and throat so dry I was convinced all the moisture in my body had fled south. “Far from it, but I believe you.”
He took a step closer to the bed, then climbed onto it and reached for the hem of my dress, never letting his gaze leave mine. “Your turn.”
He wrapped his hands around the fabric and pushed it up, pausing only for me to lift my ass so he could pull it off over my head. As soon as that was done, his mouth crashed back into mine. His fingers hastily found the hooks of my bra behind my back and undid them.
It took him almost no time at all to take it off. Then he pushed me back down on the mattress and kissed me hard, his knees between my legs. His hands found my panties. He rolled them off without breaking the kiss, tossing them away as soon as he’d freed them from my legs.
A soft, needy moan escaped me at the sensation of being utterly naked with him again, and as if the sound had kicked him into a higher gear, he released my mouth and kissed his way down the length of my body like he’d been ravenous for years.
He settled between my legs, spreading them further apart before ducking his head and licking a line through my folds without any warning whatsoever.
My hips flew off the bed, but he caught them, pressing me into the mattress and holding me steady as he went to work.
I screwed my eyes shut, surprised by the intensity of the pleasure already sparking through me.
Knowing how badly Zach wanted this just made it so much easier to forget about what I probably looked like right now.
It was there in how he was devouring me and the force with which he was pushing me into the bed.
Somehow, and even after so long, he wasn’t put off by my body or the fact that I’d had kids.
Instead, he was acting exactly the way he had back in the early days once we were reunited after a day or two apart.
He’d never been afraid of letting me know exactly how turned on he was and that didn’t seem to have changed either.
Moans rumbled through him, his tongue, lips, and fingers working together in magical harmony to make me feel like I was floating above myself as tension kept building and knotting deep inside me.
I hadn’t felt anything like it since the last time I’d been with him, and when all those knots finally released at once, I might even have screamed, writhing and bucking under his mouth with my fingers digging into his shoulders.
The orgasm consumed me, dragging me into another world where only euphoria existed.
In the aftermath, I collapsed back on the bed, eventually managing to pry my eyes open when I felt Zach move to bring his face level with mine. That smirk was on his lips again, but it also looked like he was in agony, his eyes narrowed to slits and his breath coming in harsh pants.
I didn’t speak, simply hooking my arm around his neck and pulling him to me for a deep kiss. Meanwhile, I let my hand snake between us, surprised to feel that he’d already covered himself in a condom when my fingertips skated along the side of his shaft.
“Now, Zach,” I murmured between kisses, repositioning myself underneath him when he stiffened and groaned even at that slight touch. “Do it. Don’t hold back.”
“I won’t,” he promised, his voice rougher than I’d heard it in a long time. “Tell me if it’s too much.”
“It won’t be.” I hooked my ankles together behind his firm ass and kissed him again, moaning when I felt the broad tip of him at my entrance. “I’m still me, Zach, and I’m right here.”
He kissed both my eyelids, then looked into my eyes as he pushed in, his hands braced on either side of my shoulders.
His muscles were tense, a furrow forming between his eyebrows as he slowly slid into me.
My breathing stuttered, the sensation of being filled by him again too good to just lie still, so I started moving and he lost the fight against restraint, thrusting the rest of the way into me and claiming my mouth for another kiss.
The rhythm he fell into almost immediately was punishing but so satisfying at the same time. He wasn’t holding back or treating me like I was fragile. He was taking what he needed and, in turn, giving me exactly what I needed too.
As soon as I felt him swell deep inside me, I went flying over the edge again, holding him to me and whispering incomprehensible words as I came down.
Zach thrust two more times. Then that tell-tale low, deep growl rumbled through his chest, and the next thing I knew, he was rolling off me but keeping me in his arms as he lay down on the bed.
There was probably a lot we needed to talk about after all that, but right now, I just let myself hold him.
Talking could come later. Maybe even only in the morning.
For now, I just wanted to relish the fact that I was back in the circle of his arms, where I was very much starting to believe I was always meant to be.