Chapter 20
TWENTY
JANE
I jerked away at the sound of Austin’s voice. I looked around, blinking myself awake. Why was he up already? What was he doing?
He was standing near the end of the bed and a tinny noise niggled at the edge of my consciousness. Was he on the phone?
All of a sudden, the memories from last night came back to me in a rush, and I smiled as he turned to me, ignoring that background buzz for the moment.
He’d asked me to stay in bed with him. That definitely said commitment.
The noise got louder.
“Gus, you’re on speaker phone. Jane is here too,” Austin said. “What’s up?”
With a sigh, I brushed off the last vestiges of sleep and did my best to focus on the conversation, which apparently, I needed to be involved in.
“I need you to get here before we talk.” Gus’s tone was uncharacteristically somber. “Don’t go online. Fuck, put your phone on airplane mode. Don’t talk to anyone and don’t answer any calls. Got it?”
“What the hell is going on?” Austin demanded, pacing the length of the room. “You’re worrying me.”
He was worrying me, too.
The only reason Gus would be making a fuss like this was because of something Austin wouldn’t like. Probably posted online. A scandal or an accusation. But there was nothing like that to be unearthed. Austin was legitimately a stand-up guy, if a bit emotionally repressed.
Could it have anything to do with me?
My stomach sank. I didn’t see how it could, but his captaincy and our relationship were the only new things going on in his life, so surely, this must have something to do with one of them.
A horrible thought occurred to me. Something else had happened recently too. His dad had turned back up in his life. Had he spoken to the press? Perhaps taken part in some kind of tell-all or exposé?
My hand twitched, and I debated whether to grab my phone. If I wanted to know what was going on, all I’d need to do was check the Google notifications and any messages I had received from my family or Clara.
I wanted to know. Curiosity prodded persistently at the back of my mind.
But if Gus was telling us not to look, then there must be a good reason for it.
I didn’t always agree with his way of doing things, but he knew what he was talking about.
So, reluctantly, I searched for my phone and, when I found it, switched it off without checking the screen.
I tried to tune back into Gus and Austin’s conversation, but I’d missed Gus’s reply to Austin’s earlier question.
Now he was telling Austin that he had already called Stephen Robertson to excuse Austin from the rest of the team retreat and that a car would be waiting outside to collect us in five minutes.
That didn’t give me long to get ready. I threw back the covers and got up, going straight to the tiny bathroom to splash water on my face.
I looked at myself in the mirror, noting the slight pinkness of my eyes and the puffiness of my lips.
Last night, I’d thought I’d enjoy waking up slowly in Austin’s arms. I’d never imagined that our wonderful night together could take such a turn.
I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, brushed my teeth, and glanced at the shower. I’d love to rinse off properly, but I didn’t have the time, so I’d have to settle for applying some deodorant and going in search of a fresh change of clothes.
Since I had no idea what was going on or what would happen once we reached Gus’s office, I chose the nicest clothes I’d packed. Admittedly, they were nothing fancy. We were at a camp in the woods after all, but the dark jeans and pale pink blouse were better than anything else available.
By the time I was dressed, Austin had already pulled on his clothes and packed his bag. I shoved all my things into my suitcase and zipped it up.
“What do you think this is about?” I asked him as we wheeled our suitcases outside and walked them along the concrete path and around the corner to the parking lot. It was quiet out, with the lodge’s staff beginning to prepare for the day, but all the players were still in their rooms.
“I really don’t know.” He sounded as perturbed as I felt. “You have no idea either?”
I shook my head then, remembering he couldn’t see me from behind, said, “No.”
A black SUV pulled into the parking lot and came to a halt in front of us. The trunk popped open, and the driver got out. She was vaguely familiar, and based on the lack of taxi company markings on the vehicle, I wondered if she worked with Gus.
“Morning,” she said, rounding the car and gesturing for me to give her my bag. I did, and she packed it into the trunk, then added Austin’s too. She closed the trunk, opened the back door, and waved us in. I half-expected Austin to get in the front so he could quiz her, but he didn’t.
The driver belted up, put the car in gear, and peeled out of the lot, gravel crunching beneath the wheels.
“What’s going on?” Austin asked, leaning forward so she could hear him.
She glanced over her shoulder, her mouth twisting down at the corners. “Sorry, but you’ll have to ask the boss. I’m under strict orders to keep quiet and let him handle things.”
That was no help at all. Instinctively, I took my phone from my pocket, reconsidering whether to turn it back on and check those Google alerts.
“Don’t.” Austin covered my hand with his, preventing me from powering up the phone. “If Gus says not to look, it’s for a reason.”
I swallowed down my irritation, knowing he was right. Keeping ourselves in the dark didn’t feel like the best course of action, but I did trust Gus to have the best of intentions—at least when it came to Austin’s career.
Austin kept my hand in his, and the warmth of the connection helped ward off my fear of what was about to come. He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. I moved closer to him in the back seat, erasing the space between our bodies and seeking what comfort I could from his presence.
The gloominess of dawn lifted, and the sun rose on a new day as we traveled back to the city center.
It was still early when we arrived at Gus’s office building, and the building was more empty than usual. The driver ushered us inside and past an empty reception desk, between the open plan areas, and into the office with the framed poster of Austin on the wall.
Gus sat behind the desk, his usually impeccable suit rumpled and his glossy hair in disarray. He raised his eyes, his expression grim.
“Sit down. Both of you.” He gestured to the woman behind them. “Leave us, please, Liz.”
The driver backed out and shut the door behind herself.
With a growing sense of dread, I disentangled my hand from Austin’s and sat on one of the chairs.
He took the other, and I felt his gaze on the side of my face, but I didn’t turn toward him.
I needed to know what was going on now, and if it was going to be bad, I had to brace myself.
Looking at him for support wouldn’t help.
Gus rolled a pen between his fingers, back and forth, his grip tight enough that his knuckles were white. “I have a question, and I need you both to be honest.”
“What?” Austin asked.
I drew in a slow breath, struggling to keep my anxiety under control. Gus’s appearance and his unusual flatness didn’t help matters.
Gus looked from Austin to me. “Has your relationship become personal? Has the act become real?”
Now I did look at Austin. What on earth was going on?
“It has,” Austin admitted, reaching across the space between us and taking my hand again. I intertwined my fingers with his, grateful for the physical reminder that whatever was coming our way, we were in it together. “Why?”
Gus heaved a sigh, his shoulders slumping. “Someone took a photo of you engaged in an… intimate… activity yesterday. Based on the background, I assume it was on the edge of LaBagh woods. The thing is…”
He trailed off, looking at a loss. My throat tightened, and I felt that familiar thickening of my tongue. I was scared to ask what the photo was of. It must be bad to have provoked this reaction.
“The tabloids are running with the story that the two of you are exhibitionists.”
My chest constricted. Exhibitionists?
That was ridiculous.
“What do you mean by intimate?” Austin asked, squeezing my hand gently.
Gus closed his eyes. “It’s easier to show you.”
A chill ran through me, and I tried to swallow, but there were rocks in the back of my throat.
Gus opened his eyes, clicked something on his computer screen, and turned it around to face us.
For a long moment, I was frozen, unable to tear my eyes from the horrifying image on his screen. It was obviously taken at night, and it wasn’t the best quality, but you could clearly see my face.
Austin kneeled in front of me, his head level with my crotch, and even with the poor image quality, you could tell my jeans were pulled down around my thighs.
I clutched my chest, my airways so tight I could hardly manage to drag in enough air to remain conscious. Black spots danced in front of my eyes, and my vision blurred. It was only when the tears began dripping from my chin that I realized I was crying.
Austin swore. “How did anyone get this picture?”
“I don’t know,” Gus replied. “It could have been someone at the lodge, or perhaps a tabloid reporter followed you out there in case the retreat went to shit and they got lucky.”
“What are you doing about it?” Austin asked.
“We’re trying to track the source, and we’ve sent takedown letters everywhere that we’ve found it, but there’s no putting the cat back in the bag. Once something is on the Internet, it’s there for good.”
I bury my face in my hands, a sob racking my shoulders.
Oh, God.
This photo was on the Internet.
My parents could see it. My brother could see it. Even my classmates…
But that wasn’t all. If I applied for jobs as a speech therapist, this could come out. All they’d need to do is Google me and they’d know all about it.
No one would want to hire me to work with children after this.
My dream, the thing I’d been working toward for years, was crumbling around me.
“Find it everywhere you can and get that shit taken down.” Austin’s voice was hardly more than a growl. “I don’t care what it takes or how much money I have to throw at it. Make it go away.”
His arm settled over my shoulders, and he pulled me into an embrace. It was awkward given the fact we were sitting on two different chairs and, as much as I wished it made me feel better, us being together was what had gotten us into this mess, so the reminder didn’t exactly help.
“We’re doing the best we can.” Gus’s tone was calm, conciliatory.
“Fuck, Austin, when I suggested a fake relationship, it was supposed to reduce drama and make you look more settled. You know, play up the beloved hockey dynasty angle and connect you to three famous players known for treading the straight and narrow, but instead, you’re dragging their names through the filth. ”
I whimpered. Would this actually damage my parents’ good name? My uncle’s?
Alec’s?
My poor brother was in the public eye all the time. How would this affect him?
“Shut the fuck up,” Austin hissed. “You’re not helping.”
I sniffed and swiped at my cheeks. “I d-d-doubt anything would help. Ev-v… All t-the… Anyone could see this.”
I had been exposed to the world in one of my most vulnerable moments, and in doing so, I hadn’t only shamed myself.
Bile rose up the back of my throat, and I swallowed it, grimacing at the bitter taste.
How had I let this happen? I’d never been so careless before.
“We’ll fix this,” Austin crooned, stroking my back.
“I d-d-don’t kn-n-now h-how.”
A crushing weight pressed down on my chest. It was like I was a kid again, with everyone staring at me while I struggled to piece together a single sentence.
Except this time, it was so much worse. Because the world was so much more interested in scandalous athletes than they were in stuttering little girls.
The public attention was going to be beyond my worst nightmares.
“I’ll make this okay.” Austin ducked his head and kissed my cheek. “I don’t know how, but I will, I promise.”
I didn’t see how.
My life as I knew it was over. How could I possibly go back to school and face my classmates knowing they might have seen me like that? How could I face Alec knowing how much my actions might have cost him? Or my parents?
I couldn’t handle it. I wasn’t strong enough.
“This is all my fault.” Austin sounded distraught. “It was my idea.”
“It doesn’t matter whose idea it was,” Gus said. “The damage is done.”
I drew in a shuddering breath, trying to remember the exercises that helped me get control of my stuttering. I opened my mouth, realized I wasn’t ready yet, and just breathed.
In and out.
Count, exhale, count, inhale. Hold it. And repeat.
Over and over, until my lips and tongue felt able to form at least some words.
“H-how many p-pl… Ugh!” Tears prickled the backs of my eyes. Why did I have to be so useless the second anyone put me under stress? “How many sites have l-l-listed the pic-c-ture? How m-many p-p-people have s-seen it?”
Austin stood and pulled me into his arms. I buried my face in his chest and tremors rolled through me as he murmured soft reassurances and held me tight.
“We don’t know yet.” Gus was clearly frustrated too. “We’ve sent takedown notices to a dozen websites, but there will be more. Austin, Stephen wants to meet with you.”
My insides tightened. Oh, God. For a moment, I’d almost forgotten that my family and I weren’t the only ones who would be affected by this. Austin had just been made captain. Now he might lose that.
“He can wait.” Austin kissed my temple. “I need to take care of Jane first.”
My heart stuttered. “You c-can’t-t…”
I bit my tongue, furious with it for betraying me again. I had to tell Austin that he couldn’t risk his career for me.
“I can do whatever I like,” he said, some of that old, familiar arrogance making its way into his voice.
Gus sighed. “You have an hour. That’s all the time I can buy before he loses patience.”
I felt sick. It wasn’t enough. He could give us a year, but it wouldn’t be enough time to fix this.