28. April
I was still relaxing against Julian, recovering from my orgasm when he shifted. Reaching behind him, he pressed a button. The partition rolled down.
“Hey, we’re not going home just yet,” he told the driver. “Just drive around until I say.”
“You got it.” I was sure I heard amusement in the driver’s voice. He knew what we were doing back here. I should be embarrassed, but I found it hard to care while being wrapped in Julian’s arms.
The partition rolled back up and Julian purred, “Time for round two.”
I peeked at him through my lashes, trying to hide my excitement. The things I did to him? What about the things he did to me? I’d never feel like this with anyone else, I just knew it. Sitting up, I smirked, feeling that wild side he brought out taking over. “It is, and since you’re leaving in the morning, I should give you a proper send-off.” I shuffled until I was on my knees in front of him.
I looked up with a small smile, satisfied that his eyes were wide and clouded with anticipation. His throat bobbed up and down when he gulped. I loved shocking him like this, driving him as wild as he drove me. Undoing his belt and zipper, I freed him and wrapped my palm around his thick length. He inhaled sharply, jerking in my hand.
“I’ve never done this before,” I admitted, “but I want to do it with you.”
“Jesus,” he groaned but the look in his eyes told me he was pleased. “April, you’re killing me.”
I batted my lashes and smiled. “In a good way I hope.”
“In the best way, sweetness,” he replied huskily. “After this, we’re going to your place and I’m going to make you cum so many times, you won’t be able to walk tomorrow.”
My jaw hung on its hinges, and it took me a few seconds to recover. Heat seared my cheeks. His words still made me blush even though I was on my knees with my mouth hovering over his cock. The things that came out of his mouth sometimes just took a little getting used to. “Well...that...that…”
“Sounds good?” He grinned.
I smiled back at him. He always knew what I wanted to say when I got flustered. The grin he wore disappeared when my tongue flicked over his tip. His sharp inhale echoed in the limo. Experimentally, I took him into my mouth. His hips jerked forward and he groaned. Taking that as a sign that I was doing fine, I cupped his balls and took him deeper.
His hands flew up to fist my hair. I paused and reached up to take off my flower crown. “Let me take this off.”
“No.” His voice was thick with desire. “Leave it. I feel like I’m being blown by a garden nymph, and it’s really hot.”
Eyes locked with his, I blinked and then let out a laugh. “Garden nymph? You’re crazy.”
“So you keep saying. I’m crazy about you.” He trailed a finger tenderly over my cheek.
My breath hitched as I gazed into his eyes. What I saw in his orbs made my breath hitch and a fist clench over my heart. It was a little overwhelming so I returned to my task of pleasuring him until he made sexy growling noises in his throat. His fingers tightened in my hair, and the muscles of his thighs bunched. He was close. I got a thrill from his reaction to what I did to him because I never saw myself as someone who could please a man like him. I moaned and took him deeper into my mouth, hollowing my cheeks to suck on him. I may not have practical experience, but I was a comprehensive reader. I had an idea of what to do. His hold on my hair tightened some more but I didn’t mind, it spurred me on. Then he growled expletives followed by, “God, April, I love you.”
Even though my mouth dropped open, thereby releasing him, and my head snapped up to meet his gaze, he erupted. I guess he was too far gone to hold it back. Warm fluid hit the swells of my breast over the neckline of my dress. It got quiet...uncomfortably quiet.
Julian sighed. There was a hint of pink tinting his cheeks as he gazed at his juice splattered across my chest. “I now understand how a moment can be sexy and awkward at the same time,” he grumbled.
It was one of those moments that had the potential to be hilarious but there was too much uneasiness present to dampen the amusement. My eyes darted around, landing on everything but him.
“Aren’t you going to say something?” he asked, forcing my roaming eyes back to him.
My lips parted but I wasn’t sure what to say. I felt ridiculous, still on my knees. “What am I supposed to say?”
His eyebrows shot up. “I just told you I love you. There are plenty of things that you can say.” His eyes bore into mine, and I knew he was telling me I could return the sentiment.
“I can’t be sure you meant it. You were on the verge of...you were in the throes of passion,” I finished lamely.
Throwing his back, he groaned. “Goddamn it.” With a sigh, he reached across the seat for his jacket. As he wiped my cleavage with one of the sleeves, I gaped. The suit looked like it cost a fortune and he was using the jacket to clean me up. Afterward, he helped me up. I sat across from him, not sure what to say. Finally, he said, “While that wasn’t my smoothest moment,” he gave me a wry smile, “I meant what I said.”
Oh, God. Panic momentarily surfaced, but I swallowed it. The feeling was totally irrational. It was just a habit from years of telling myself that I didn’t want what I could have with Julian. He showed me that I was wrong. I wanted something special...with him. However, I had to think about what was best for him because he didn’t seem to consider what being with me might mean for him. “I don’t think we’re a good idea right now, Julian.”
Shock flickered across his face. “What? Right now? What does that mean? Is this about your parents’ relationship?”
“No. Not anymore. At first, I was apprehensive because of what I saw happen between my parents . But it’s hard to hold on to that when I’m with you.”
He exhaled softly and hope brightened his expression. I hated that I was going to let him down. “Then what’s the problem?
Gnawing at my lower lip, I shrugged. “You live in another country.”
“I’m not likely to forget when you keep reminding me.” Irritation resonated in his tone. Shoving his fingers through his hair, he closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, he seemed to have composed himself. “Look, I get where you’re coming from. I’m not okay with us being so far apart, but that’s the way it is for now. Next year, I’m coming home.”
“You’re going to give up your career?”
“Yes. I told you I was thinking about retiring.”
“I can”t hold you to that, Julian. You could leave here tomorrow and decide that you want to hold on to your career for a few more years. You’ve expressed annoyance with the attention you get, but you love what you do.”
“What if I love you more?”
My heart flipped. “Don’t say that. You might change your mind.”
He lifted a brow. “About my feelings for you? I don’t see that happening, sweetness.”
“I mean about your career. Besides, you could meet someone else. Some model or actress or something.” Those words were painful to get out. The thought alone made me want to hurl.
As if a switch had been flipped, his expression twisted into fury. He looked angrier than I’d ever seen him. “I get it now. This is about you not trusting me.”
“No. That’s not―”
“You still see me the same way everyone else does. How could you when I’ve let you in completely? I showed you who I really am.” Hurt surfaced from under his anger and guilt struck a chord of guilt in my chest.
“Julian―”
“I tell you I’m in love with you, and you think I’m going to go back to Canada to stick my dick into some other woman. Gee, your faith in me is fucking heartwarming.”
My jaw dropped. Okay, this conversation took a crazy wrong turn. “That’s not even…” I huffed, my own temper rising. “You know what? Yeah, maybe I am worried that you’ll be tempted by another woman in your celebrity circles.”
He practically snarled at me. “I think I’m done listening to you insult me for tonight.” He turned to jab the button to bring down the partition with too much force. “Change of plans, my man, we’re going home. I mean, she’s going home.” He glared daggers at me. “Alone.”
I returned his dirty look. “You should be happy I haven’t latched on to you so you’re free to do whatever you want. You can have fun with groupies between games, Mr. Hotshot.”
A growl rumbled in his chest, and he glared harder. I snorted. Okay, I can admit that I was wrong for riling him up further. I should have calmed him down and explained to him what I really meant but my insecurity didn’t allow me to. Why would he wait so long to get back to a girl in a small town when he had the world at his feet? He said he loved me but I thought I might as well save us both the heartache when, in a few months, he might regret making me any promises.
“What is it about prom nights ending in disaster?” I heard him say under his breath.
I ignored him. He was right, but this time I think I was the one who broke his heart because he wouldn’t even look at me.
* * *
“I think I made a huge mistake.”
The room went quiet. Ruby had half of a strawberry danish in her mouth when she froze to look at me. She was on a mission to scoff down as many of Tessa’s pastries as she could before returning to school even if it meant turning into a whale―her words. She looked ridiculous, and I would have laughed if I wasn’t so miserable.
Tessa had a mug halfway to her lips when she paused. Cass looked up from her laptop screen. “Are you waiting for an invitation to tell us what you’re talking about?”
I rolled my eyes at my snarky sister. It was barely seven, but we’d all gathered in Tessa’s kitchen. Her food just called to us, lured us to her place at any hour and she didn’t mind. “I made a mistake letting Julian leave. I mean letting him leave the way he did.”
“Oh no. What happened?” Ruby mumbled with her mouth still full.
This time I did smile. “Don’t choke, Rubes.”
She swallowed. “It’s okay if I do since there’s a nurse in the building.” She winked and gave me a once over in my scrubs then went back to stuffing her face. I headed here after a shift at the hospital.
I chuckled. My youngest sister could bring a smile out of anyone, in any state of misery. “We fought before he left.”
“What? You mean after he went out of his way to make things with the first prom right? You two fought this time around?” Cass shook her head. “Nice going, April.”
I gasped. The secret I kept about prom ten years ago was fully out of the bag. “Why would you assume it’s my fault?”
“Because you’re a Bennet,” Ruby answered matter-of-factly. “You let Mom ruin your relationship, didn’t you? It almost happened to Lucy.”
I scoffed. “No, I did not let our dead mother come between Julian and me.” Letting out a long groan, I dropped my forehead to the counter. “This is all on me,” I wailed. Julian left one week ago, and I hadn’t heard from him since. That brought me to tears because I think I lost him for good over my stupid need to make things easy for him...and maybe for me too. But, this feeling of regret and heartache was not easy.
“Oh, honey.” Tessa, always ready to provide comfort much like me, was the first to reach my side. She rested her palm on my shoulders. “It couldn’t have been all your fault.”
“It was,” I sniffed, sitting up to look at her. “I was an idiot. I pushed him away and I’ve regretted it ever since. I’ve been beyond miserable this whole week. He hasn’t even called me. Why would he?”
“What did you say to him?” she asked, brown eyes filled with concern.
Blowing out a breath, I started, “Well, after he said he loved me―”
A squeal that could only come from Ruby filled the room. “How romantic! Give us details. Where were you? What were you two doing when he professed his love?”
I glanced at Ruby’s beaming face and pictured myself on my knees after giving Julian a blow job. My face heated up several degrees. “Er...I’d rather not give any details.” I ignored Cass’ knowing smirk. “So after he told me he loved me, instead of telling him I loved him too, I foolishly let him think that I didn’t want a long-distance relationship because I don’t trust him. However, I do trust him.” Wringing my hands together, I pulled my quivering lip between my teeth. “I let him think I wouldn’t care if he moves on, but I do care.”
Tessa sighed. “Then why didn’t you tell him the truth?”
“I didn’t want him to give up his luxurious life to come back here because he thinks he owes me anything.”
“He loves you,” Ruby emphasized. “I don’t think he’d have any regrets.”
“Well, that’s not a certainty so...I said stupid things. I was only trying to look out for him.”
“Of course,” Cass said with disgust. “Typical April, denying her own happiness to look out for someone else. Typical Tessa too,” she added.
“I do not.” Tessa glared at Cass who only smirked.
Cass took us all by surprise when she closed her laptop and stood up. “There’s only one thing to do now.” We all stared at her silently. “We’re going to Canada.”
When everyone continued to gawk, she sighed. “Alright, I know you all think I’m queen bitch but I want my sisters to be happy. Julian makes you happy. I saw that ten years ago when he invited you to prom. Timid April had burst out of her shell even if it was just for a moment. I’d never seen you happier. Then you spent time with him and when you left him, you were utterly miserable. You love the guy, so let’s cross the freaking border so you can make things right.”
Ruby clutched her chest, her eyes wide. “I’ll be damned, you do have a heart. Where has it been all this time?”
Cass flipped her off and marched out. “Let’s go ladies! Canada and Julian are waiting!”
For just a moment longer, I gaped at the chair Cass vacated, wondering what had got into her. Was her one-night stand with her Latin lover that good? After that, I practically sprinted to the door to prepare for the trip. I was going to go the distance to get my man back.