Sierra
Chapter eighteen
I’m so glad when the day ends, but I hate myself for letting Wesley see me cry.
He doesn’t deserve any of my tears for the way he’s treated me the last couple of years.
The laughing and pointing as I leave school seem more than usual, as if there’s something I’m missing.
But I just keep my head down and move forward, ignoring everyone until I’m safely seated on the bus away from the assholes at school. On my way home, I can finally relax.
Mrs. Butler and Sam are sitting on the steps of the apartment building, busily re-potting one of her plants when I walk up. “How was school, sweetheart?” Every time she calls me that, it reminds me of my mother, and my heart clenches.
“You know the norm, tons of friends, guys all want to date me. I’m little Miss Popular,” I say sarcastically, and she lets out a forced laugh for Sam’s sake since she knows I’m none of that.
“So, a great day.” Her eyes pierce mine and I know she’s trying to figure out if it was out of the normal and I need a hug. “I’m going to have dinner ready at about six, and I want the two of you sitting at my table.”
“Yes, ma’am. Sam, let's get upstairs and do some homework.”
“But I’ve already done it. Mrs. Butler helped me. Can I please help her finish this, and then I’ll be right up?” she begs.
I look at Mrs. Butler to make sure it’s okay, and when she gives me a nod, I head upstairs.
Trudging through the apartment door, I beeline straight for the couch, flopping down on it as my bag hits the floor.
The thud it makes reminds me of the phone that Zander stuck in there.
Reaching down, I shove my hand inside and pull it out with a charger wrapped around it.
Pressing and holding the button, it powers up.
Instantly, it starts vibrating repeatedly as messages come in.
I almost felt guilty opening them. What if they’re private ones meant for him?
I’m holding it in my hand, debating, when it vibrates again, startling me so badly, I almost drop it.
But this time I see the beginning of the message.
He even programmed his name and number, like he said.
Zanders#1: Sierra, are you okay? Shit, I’m so sorry that happened.
He confuses me. What's he sorry about? And how bold of him to program his name like that.
Me: What are you talking about?
Zanders#1: Shit, you don’t know. That's right, you don’t have a phone.
Me: No, not until now. What happened?
The way he’s carrying on, it must be bad, and if he’s upset when we’re not even friends, I know for a fact it’s going to crush me.
Me: Just spit it out. Whatever it is, it couldn’t be worse than anything else that's happened.
Zanders#1: Fuck fuck fuck, I don’t even know how to tell you…
Me: Just say it, I have homework to do before I go to work.
Zanders#1: Someone took a picture of you and spread it out in a mass text to everyone at school
Me: Okay, and what's bad about that? it’s just a picture
Zanders#1: Sierra, it was of you in the locker room
Zanders#1: There were two, one of you in your underwear and the other one you well you were
Zanders#1: Shit Sierra, you were nude, I’m so sorry
No! Haven’t they embarrassed me enough? Everyone has seen me naked?
Wes has gone too far this time. Sending out a nude picture of me to everyone at school is the lowest of the low.
Granted, he may not have been the one to send it, but he knew and was the instigator of it all.
No one does anything at that school without his approval.
Fuck! It explains a lot about all the extra snickers, stares, and points I got when leaving school today.
The phone vibrates in my hand again, pulling me from my thoughts.
Zanders#1: Sierra are you there?
Zanders#1: Sierra if you don’t text back I’m calling. I’m worried about you.
Me: I’m fine, thanks for the heads-up.
Me: It won’t earn you any favors with Wes though, so you might not want to do that in the future if you care about your status.
Zanders#1: Fuck that. No one deserves that to happen to them. Status doesn’t mean shit to me.
Me: I gotta go, I got homework, and then work.
Me: But thank you Zander for warning me about this. It’s the nicest thing anyone from that school has done in a long time.
I power the phone off and take it to my bedroom, placing it on my dresser before hooking it to the charger and plugging it into the wall.
Walking to the bathroom, I turn the shower on full blast, letting the steam from the hot water fill the room. Alone, in the safety of my home, I finally let myself break down. The tears flow freely down my cheeks as I try to catch my breath.
Dread fills every fiber of my being, knowing that tomorrow I have to walk into the school and down those hallways, completely surrounded by people who have seen me at my most vulnerable.
I almost want to ask Zander if he looked at it or just knew about it being sent, debating if I want him to send it to me so I can see it.
Standing under the water until it goes cold, I let the tears fall, telling myself that once I step out, they’ll be the last ones I shed over this. At least, I hope so...
I’m just pulling my shirt over my head when the front door opens and Sam’s feet smack against the floor as she comes running down the hallway.
“Ci Ci… Where are you?” Her sweet little voice makes me smile for the first time since getting home. She always brightens the darkest days.
“In the bedroom, where else would I be?” I shout back, laughing.
She comes barreling into the room, jumping on the bed, full of excitement.
“Guess what we’re having for dinner?” It’s then her eyes zero in on the phone sitting on my dresser and if I thought she was excited before, it was nothing compared to now.
“Ci Ci. You got us a phone! Can I use it to call my friends? Pleaaasee?” she begs.
“Okay, Sam, calm down first. No, I don’t know what we’re having for dinner. The phone isn’t mine, sweetie. It belongs to Zander, the boy who took me to pick you up. He’s only letting me borrow it so that we can work on our project.”
Her bubble quickly deflates, her whole body dropping in disappointment. “Oh, would he care if I use it?”
“Sam, it’s only for use for our project. Now, what are we having for dinner?”
“Pie,” she mumbles.
“Pie, are you sure? I don’t see Mrs. Butler making us pie for dinner, maybe dessert, but not dinner.” She had to have misunderstood.
“Nope, she said dinner, Ci Ci. A farmer made it,” she says confidently. I’ll just have to believe her until we go upstairs and find out.
“Okay, well, I’m going to work on some homework, and then we’ll head upstairs in a bit. Make sure to pack your pajamas, because I have to work tonight.”
“Okay,” she says, jumping off the bed and crossing the room. Before she steps out the door, she turns back to me. “Could you ask him if I could use it just to call like once a week? And whatever made you cry, I’m sorry.”
She takes off after that, not even giving me a chance to reply, and the tears start again. She is why I do everything I do and endure every day at that school. I can’t and won’t lose her.
Cyrus
Walking into the club tonight, I was excited to see Lilac, or Sierra rather.
I’m so happy she finally trusts me enough to know her real name.
Even though I already knew it, I wasn’t about to let her know that.
I wanted her to be the one to tell me. I found out by mistake, overhearing the tail end of a conversation between her and Rico where he called her by name.
For a while there, I wasn’t sure why she didn’t want anyone to know it. But after taking her home that night, I needed to know more about her. I needed to find out why she always looks so sad.
I may or may not have been a little creepy, parking my car down the block, waiting and watching for her to leave so I could follow and learn more about her.
It's how I found out she was still in high school, not something I was expecting at all. I had a hunch she was younger than me. Hell, I’m not old at twenty- I’ll be twenty-one on Christmas day- so her age isn’t a biggie.
I mean, she has to be eighteen at least to work at the club.
The odd thing is I saw her and her sister, but not her aunt. Hell, even when I picked her up and brought her home, I didn’t see her. Granted, I didn’t go up to her apartment.
When I came into work tonight, straight from my study session for my economics class, I headed her way. But when I saw how sad she looked, and how puffy her eyes were, even though she tried to cover them with makeup, it pissed me the fuck off. She seemed broken and defeated.
I bide my time, waiting to catch her alone, hoping she'll talk to me. Around eleven, I get lucky when she comes off stage and heads to the back for a break. It is now or never, leaning into Jonny, who’s standing next to me, I let him know I’m taking a break and walk back to the dressing room.
She doesn’t notice me standing in the doorway as she stares into her mirror, deep in thought.
“Hey,” I call out, causing her to yelp and jerk around in her seat to look at me.
“Shit, Cyrus, you scared the bejeezus out of me.” She laughs, holding her chest with her hand.
“I’m sorry. Just came to tell you not to call a ride. I'm gonna drop you off at home when you’re done tonight.” I’ll start with something small to ease into the big question.
“Oh, that’s sweet, but you don’t have to.” She smiles sadly and I swear I see tears well up in her eyes. What the fuck has happened?
“I know I don’t, Lilac, shit I mean Sierra, but I want to. Are you okay? You look sad. Is something bothering you?” I’m so used to calling her by her stage name that anything else is weird. I pray that this gives her the push to confide in me.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” She tries to hide her sniffle, but I’m not a fool; something has upset her. My mission in life is now to find out what it is and if it’s someone, then I will beat the ever-loving shit out of them.
“Okay, I just wanted to let you know I’m giving you a ride home tonight.
” She opens her mouth, but I stop her. “I know what you’re going to say already about the ride and I know I don’t have to, but I want to.
There’s no need for you to pay money to some Uber driver you don’t even know when I drive right by your home. ”
“Thank you, Cyrus. Whoever your future girlfriend is she’ll be really lucky to have you.”
“You think so, Lilac?”
“I do.” Her face blushes as she says it.
“I’ve got my eye on somebody. I’m just waiting for her to notice me. Just remember, if you need to talk about anything, I’m here.” I reach out, pull her into my arms, and hug her before turning and walking back out to the floor.
My heart soars at her mentioning that any woman would be lucky to have me. If only she knew I want her to hold that position. Now, I just need her to realize it.