Sierra
Chapter fourteen
Knowing Braxton and Zander are worried about me helps calm my nerves a little.
But it doesn’t help with my racing thoughts.
Maybe what they walked in on didn’t turn them away from me.
But what will they think when they know the truth about me?
About how I earn a living? That I lied to them about working at a restaurant?
It doesn’t surprise me to not see a single message from Colton. Not even a fuck you. He believes every lie that Wes has told him. I’ve lost all hope that a decent human being was buried somewhere deep inside of him.
But Braxton and Zander are the bright light in the dark tunnel I find myself in right now.
Zander agreeing to be my connection to Sam until I can see her gave me some hope that we’ll make it through this.
I love him for agreeing, even knowing the severity of what could happen if we’re ever caught.
Which, by god, I pray doesn’t happen. But I’m not getting my hopes up until I see a picture of her.
When he actually does what he promised. I’m so tired of being burned by people I put my trust in.
I still can’t believe I agreed to see Zander if I didn’t go back to school by Friday.
But I need to see how serious he is, about what he says he’s feeling, before I tell him what I do for a living.
Secrets have a way of coming out, and I need to come clean.
I just can’t risk him telling his dad or social services, so I need to tread lightly.
My heart feels lighter than it has in days until he messages again and drops into my stomach.
Zanders#1: If I knew who turned you in, would you want to know?
My fingers move across the screen, typing and erasing until I stop completely. He knows who turned me in and just thinks to say something now. Why didn’t he lead with it? Why didn’t he say something to his father? Or did he? I’m so confused. I don’t know what to think.
Cyrus chooses that moment to step back into the living room with a plate of sandwiches and a bag of chips.. He picks up one of the sandwiches along with a napkin and turns his body to face me, holding it out for me to take.
“Why are you crying? Did something happen?” He quickly places the sandwich back on the plate and wraps his arms around me, pulling me close to his chest.
“Zander, one of the guys from that day, sent me a message, so I texted him back. He’s going to send me pictures of Sam since she was placed in his dad’s care,” I manage to get out between sobs.
He pulls away from me, looking me in the eyes, as if he’s searching them for something. “That’s a good thing, Lilac. It’s a way to see her until you can.”
“I know. It’s just in the last message he sent, he said he knew who turned me in. He asked if I wanted to know.”
I’m not even sure how I should feel. Should I be mad? Hate him? How long has he known?
“The question is, do you want to know? Will it make a difference?”
I think about that for a minute. It won’t change what happened, but I still need to know who ruined my life.
“No, I guess it won’t.” I sniffle.
“But you still want to know, don’t you?” He places his free hand on my knee, squeezing it gently.
I nod and look down at my phone, pulling the text thread back up.
Me: Who?
My heart pounds and I break out in a cold sweat. When my phone vibrates in my hand, it feels like I’ve been waiting for an eternity.
Zanders#1: Colt said Wes told him he did
I don’t even know what to say. Hasn’t he done enough to make my life miserable? Why? How did he even know? Or was it just a fluke, and it turned out in his favor?
“It was Wesley,” I sigh, feeling sad and exhausted. I should have known.
“He’ll get what's coming to him. Fucker better hope I never see him in public. How old is he, anyway? Please tell me he’s eighteen. The asshole will be eating crow when it comes out that he’s told nothing but lies and Sam is back home with us.” His tone is hard, and his eyes are dark.
“He’s eighteen. Is it bad I hope you do run into him?” I can’t help the laugh that escapes, envisioning Cyrus beating the shit out of Wesley.
“Good. Now I need you to eat, baby.” His tone turns gentle as he looks at me with a smile. He’s been so sweet and good to me. But I know he won’t let me up until I eat.
I set my phone on the coffee table, not caring that it’s vibrating.
I don’t even want to respond. I can’t. Right now I just wish I knew what Wesley thinks I did that would make him treat me this way.
Once my hands are free, Cyrus hands the sandwich to me and I take a large bite.
Grilled cheese, my favorite. When the pepper jack and Havarti cheese hit my taste buds, I moan, savoring the delicious flavor.
“You’re killing me. I wish I was the one making those noises come from you,” Cyrus mumbles through a pained groan, reaching down and adjusting himself.
“Who says you don’t?” I joke back.
Just thinking about being with Cyrus has my core throbbing. I squeeze my thighs together, too embarrassed to glance in his direction to see if he's noticed.
“I can’t wait until I can.” His warm breath hits my ear, sending a shiver through my body.
We started talking about us last night, but I was so exhausted, I ended up falling asleep before we got to go into detail. Now is about as good of a time as any to figure it out.
“So, am I your girl now officially? Like we’re dating? I know we have to be careful until I’m eighteen.” I glance at him nervously and look back at my plate, taking another bite of my sandwich.
“You are most definitely my girl. I’m off the market,” he announces proudly as he reaches out and pushes a strand of hair behind my ear.
“Can I ask a personal question?”
“Anything. There’s nothing I won’t answer, baby.”
I shift my body on the couch so I’m facing him. I pick at my nail, trying to gather the courage to ask him. My fingers tremble as I blow a deep breath. . While I may be a stripper, I’m still nervous to talk to guys about things.
“Umm, well, you know that I’m not a virgin. At least I’m pretty sure I’m not. But are you?” I quickly shift my gaze up, locking my eyes on his.
His lip quirks up into a smile. “Oh, my sweet little Lilac, were you worried about asking me?”
I just nod and cover my face, my cheeks heating instantly. If I had a blanket, I would hide.
“I wish I could say I was. But I’m not. When I was a teenager, still in high school, I admit I was a dog.
If it had two legs and a vagina between it, I would sleep with it.
It wasn’t until I went away to college I saw how dangerous it could be.
My best friend contracted an STD and had to let every sexual partner know.
Thankfully, he found someone who accepted him as he is and he’s very happy.
It’s also why I got tested. Now, I’m more selective about who I sleep with and always use protection. ”
I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn’t that. I’m glad he changed into the man he is today. But he said he’s more selective now. Does that mean he’s sleeping with someone currently?
“Stop furrowing that forehead. I don’t want it to wrinkle.”
I force a smile as I rub the palms along my sweatpant covered thighs. The thought of him sleeping with someone has my stomach tied up in knots.
“I haven’t been with anyone since meeting you. The moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were it for me. You own my soul and I could never be with anyone else.”
Cyrus grabs my waist and pulls me into his lap. He twists my body and positions us, so my legs are straddling him. He does it slowly, being careful not to jostle my sore body.
He crushes his lips against mine, forcing his tongue past the seam of my lips. It glides along mine, caressing it, like a sensual dance.
I rock my hips against him, grinding my pussy on his growing cock.
“See what you do to me?” he growls into my mouth, gripping me tightly.
My nipples pebble, brushing against the fabric of my bra. A shiver works its way down my spine and I groan.
I can feel the dampness in my panties, but I don’t care.
I want more.
I need more.
The desire to replace the blank memories of that night with happy new ones hits me hard. A night I have no recollection of that changed me forever, both my body and my life.
I pull away, breathless.
“I’m sorry, baby. I was just saying I needed to wait until you were eighteen, and now I’m practically forcing myself on you.” He panics and starts to move me off his lap.
Gripping his arms tightly and squeezing my thighs, I stop him. When he finally stops, I cradle his face with my hands and look him straight in the eyes.
“Look at me, Cyrus Donaldson. I want this just as much as you. If I’m sure of one thing in my life, it’s that you are it for me, too.
You could have run when you found out about everything.
But you didn’t. Instead, you stuck by my side and I will be forever grateful for that.
I want you to be my first. To replace a black memory that got stolen from me when my choice was taken with something that I didn’t choose. Something good—memorable even.”
He doesn’t answer. He just stares at me with half-lidded eyes.
“Are you sure, Sierra? I can wait. We don’t have to rush.”
God, he’s the perfect man.
“How about we just see what happens? No pressure. I’m not even sure that once we start, the memories won’t flood back in, causing me to freeze up. I fear it’ll be your breaking point and you’ll run as fast as you can away from me.”
A lone tear slides down my cheek and he reaches up, swiping it with the pad of his thumb.
“Nothing could ever make me run from you. You are mine forever, Sierra Jones. What’s it going to take to get it through that head of yours? But I do think we need to pause here.”
My face drops and my stomach churns. He says he wants me, but he’s stopping when I’m willing and wanting to give him everything.
I go to move off of him, fighting back the tears. I’m not going to let them fall in front of him. I was a fool.
He grips me tightly, his fingers digging into my skin, causing me to wince.
“Fuck, I’m sorry, baby. I just couldn’t let you have those thoughts.” He releases his hold slightly, but not fully letting go.
“What thoughts?” My voice trembles.
“Don’t play stupid, Sierra. I’m not stopping because I don’t want you.”
“Then why?” I need to know his reasoning.
“Because I don’t have a condom. I wasn’t expecting this and I don’t carry them on me. As much as I want to take you bare, to feel your walls clamping down on my cock without a barrier, I won’t risk you getting pregnant.”
Fuck, this man really is perfect!
Could I love him any more?
“I love you too, Sierra. Whoever said love at first sight was a myth is a damn fool. They’ve never met you.”
I really need to stop saying things out loud that should stay in my head.
Wait! He said he loves me!