Colton
Chapter sixteen
My heart races as I hold the phone in my sweaty palm.
It’s just a message.
Not that hard.
We’re not even face to face.
So why is this so damn hard?
Because I’m a fucking idiot, that’s why.
I went to my room after Sam gave my phone back. She threw her arms around me, hugging me tightly when she did. Her happiness made me feel even worse about how I treated her sister.
She ran back to her room, this time with a little more bounce in her step.
I hope Sierra is just as happy. Remembering how she was that Sunday that they were here, I don’t doubt she will be.
Maybe she won’t hate me as much.
But first, I need to apologize. Tell her how much of an asshole I was and beg for forgiveness.
I finally find the courage to message her when my phone vibrates in my hand. For a second, I think it might be her, but when I open it, all hopes of that disappear.
Wes: Hey man, you get your balls back?
Fuck, I can’t deal with him now.
Wes: …….
Me: Can’t talk right now. But we do need to talk about Sierra
Wes: tomorrow
Me: fine
No matter what he tells me, nothing would justify him making a false allegation against Sierra. Him calling CPS and getting her and Sam placed in the system is the worst thing he could have ever done. There is no excuse.
There’s a knock on my door, and as it cracks open, Braxton pops his head in.
“Have you messaged her or are you being a chickenshit?”
“Bak Bak.” I flap my arms.
“Haha. Cute. Now send her the video. Don’t forget to include an apology. Zander promised her a picture, so I don’t want her to think he lied.” He closes the door behind him and I’m once again left alone with my thoughts.
Sitting down on the side of my bed, I reach over and pick up my pillow, putting it over my face and screaming. God, I feel like a wuss. Why is one simple message causing so much anxiety?
Because it’s not just a simple message.
I just need to rip off the bandaid.
Type the message and press send.
After that, it’s in her hands.
Me: Hi Sierra, it’s Colt. First, instead of a picture of Sam, you’ll be getting a video.
She knows we need to keep it a secret from everyone but each day we’ll be sending you one from her.
You can send her videos back. We’ll delete them on our end so there’s no proof of them after she’s watched them.
Me: Now the hard part. I’m a dick. A stupid idiot. I know it’s not an excuse for the way I acted or treated you.
Me: I’ve always prided myself on not letting others dictate how I treat someone but I did when I moved here. I’m not sure why you’re treated the way you are but I had no right to stand back and allow it to happen.
Me: I’m even more of a jerk because I let their judgment of you fester and cloud reality.
Me: God this isn’t going like I planned in my head.
Me: It’s the main reason I wanted to see you in person. Talk to you face to face. But my brothers said you needed to know I was here for you. I want to support you any way I can.
Me: Also I don’t believe what Wes and all those other dicks at school say about you.
I should’ve stayed true to who I was before coming here.
Instead I wanted to fit in with the crowd.
I had to give up a lot when we moved and I just saw it as my chance to fit in and I didn’t care what I had to do in order to achieve that.
Me: What I’m trying to say and failing miserably at is that I’m sorry and I want to make it up to you. I’ll spend my life groveling at your feet. Please forgive me and give me a chance to show you the man I truly am and maybe, just maybe, you can open your heart to me like you have my brothers.
Me: If you don’t want to respond I understand. But I hope you do. Enjoy the video of Sam. Once I send it, I’ll delete it off my phone.
Writing is not my forte. Hopefully, my poor attempt at explaining and begging for forgiveness is enough, and she’ll message back.
As I’m sending the video message, a thought crosses my mind.
Me: Just so you know we’re not going to watch the videos you send to each other. I just wanted you to know you’re free to say whatever you want.
After everything is sent, it’s like a weight is lifted, and I sigh.
I did it. Now it’s all in Sierra’s court.
Either she hates me and says fuck you, or she will find some forgiveness in her heart and she’ll hear me out.
Let me talk to her face to face once she’s ready and I can explain myself better
I’m hoping for the latter.
Either way, I’m going to message her every day until she’s sick of hearing from me. I need her to know I mean what I say.
When she comes back to school, I’m going to be by her side making sure no one hurts her again or calls her any more horrible names.
I’m going to let Wes know he’s a fucking jerk and get him to realize that how he’s treating her is wrong. Then I’m going to make him call child protective services and tell them he lied so Sam and Sierra can be placed together.
They don’t deserve to be punished. They’ve already had plenty of that.
I keep looking at my phone, but nothing. She hasn’t even read my messages yet.
Sighing, I drop the phone on the bed. I need to stay busy, keep my mind off whether she’ll forgive me or not. Maybe Sam wants to watch a movie. I haven’t taken the time to sit and talk to her, so that’s what I’m going to do.
Getting up from my bed, I head out of my room and down to hers. Just as I step up to it, I see her door is open, and she’s sitting on the floor, along with Braxton and Zander, starting a game of Monopoly.
“Care for another player?” I ask nervously, not sure if any of them want me around.
“Okay, but you’re the shoe.” Sam laughs, her happy voice hits me like a boulder. It’s the first time she’s sounded happy since she's been here with us. “Did you send Ci Ci my video?”
“I sure did. She hasn’t messaged back yet, but as soon as she does, you’ll be the first person I come to.” I move across the room and sit down in between her and Braxton with my legs crossed.
She glances back and forth between us and giggles.
“What’s so funny, pipsqueak?” Braxton asks, as he leans over me and begins tickling her.
“Stop, stop,” she squeals.
“Fine, but only if you tell me what's funny.”
“O…kay, o…kay… I promise, Brax,” she stutters through her cute high-pitched laughs, her face turning red from her lack of oxygen.
Braxton lets go of her and she sits up, breathing deeply as she calms down.
“Sammie,” Braxton sing-songs.
“Fine. The two of you are the same, but not. Like real life sour patch kids. One’s grumpy and the other one’s silly. It makes me laugh. Did you make Ci Ci laugh too?”
“My brothers did. But I didn’t,” I confess. She quirks her eyebrow up, but Zander jumps in to distract her from what I said.
“Okay, let’s play some Monopoly. Who knows, maybe someone will get a message back from their big sister tonight.” He winks and starts handing out the money.
“You think she will?” Sam’s soft voice cuts into the silence, pulling me from my pity party.
“If she sees it, yeah. Sierra will fight the world to get to you. Just know that,” I remind her, trying to give her the hope she needs.
I’m caught off guard when she leaps on me, wrapping her arms around my neck, and hugging me tightly.
A part of me prays that when I see Sierra, she does the same.