Chapter 21 Truth
TWENTY-ONE
Truth
TIA
The flight back to Bagram was loud and chaotic as the blades of the helicopter cut through the air. They had six patients to transport and split them between the two medevac helicopters. Tia and Ryker separated. She stayed with the more critical patients while she sent Ryker with the others.
Less than thirty minutes later, she was in triage back at Bagram, handing off control of her patients to the medical staff.
She’d been here enough times over the past few months that these people were familiar, even if still strangers.
The operating room was short-staffed, so she volunteered to run the case of the man with the leg injury.
Drummond assisted, helping the newly arrived orthopedic doc debride the wounds, showing the latest advances they’d made in limb salvage techniques.
The young twenty-some-year-old wouldn’t be losing a leg. Not today.
Tired from the entire ordeal, she looked forward to her bunk. She bumped into Ryker and Warren. The two of them had found a small corner of space and pulled apart the rucks. They were going over the inventory list and marking items that needed resupply.
“Hey, guys,” she said. “Can I help?”
She didn’t want to help. A shower called to her. That and sleep. Never could get enough sleep in this place, but they were a team, and she wouldn’t rest until all the work was done.
Somewhere along the way, she’d lost track of Skye.
Despite her friend’s actions in the field, Skye hadn’t accompanied them back to base in the helicopters.
Instead, Skye had been forced to stay behind—although forced might be too strong of a word.
Tia doubted anyone could’ve pried Ash from her side.
“Have they given us lodging yet?” she asked as she plopped down on the floor. Her knee brushed Lyons’s, and where before she would’ve discreetly pulled away, she savored the connection, as small as it was.
Lyons placed a hand on her knee, followed by the cut of Warren’s gaze. “How are you holding up, Tia?” Lyons asked.
“You know, just another day in hell.”
Warren snorted. “Now, ain’t that the truth?” He unfolded his legs and stood, stretching out his back. “What do you say, the two of you finish up here while I figure out where they’re putting us for the night?”
He left, rushing out a bit too quickly—or maybe that was her imagination.
Did he suspect something? He shouldn’t. It wasn’t the first time Lyons had reassured her with a touch.
Hell, she’d let Warren hold her in his arms once or twice after they lost a soldier.
It was all part and parcel of being a well-integrated team.
After Warren was out of earshot, Lyons leaned close. “Really, how are you holding up?” He cupped her chin and turned her toward him. The pad of his finger swept across her lips.
He’d seen combat before. She’d only ever seen the aftermath. Her entire body vibrated with a surge of adrenaline; even her teeth seemed to buzz.
“To be honest,” she admitted, “and please don’t judge what I’m about to say…”
He squeezed her knee, moving his hand partway up her thigh. “No judgment.”
“I was happy there were wounded.” She glanced at the ceiling and vented a deep sigh. “I know that’s a horrible thing to say and so very wrong. I should never wish something like that on another person, but…”
“I understand,” he said.
“You do?”
“It’s easier to be busy than to think of what might have happened.”
“Yes,” she said, happy he understood. “It’s like I was on autopilot. I didn’t have to think. I just did…”
“You were in shock,” he affirmed. “Might still be, in all honesty. Now that you have time, your mind is processing. I saw how you volunteered to run anesthesia for that surgery. Keeping busy lets you keep your mind off what happened, but you need to talk about it.”
“But that’s just it,” she said. “I don’t want to talk about it. I want to wash it away and sleep it off.”
“Don’t do that,” he said. “In fact, I insist.”
“Insist?”
“Yes, you and I are going to find a place to talk this through.”
She didn’t think the two of them alone together would lead to talking.
“What’s there to talk about? The bus nearly blew up. I could have died, or you…” She couldn’t finish that thought.
They both could have died—or worse. One of them could’ve lost a leg, like that boy in the OR nearly had. She’d seen enough trauma to last her a hundred years, and she was sick to death of it.
What she didn’t want was to be one of the trauma statistics, and that by itself had the fine hairs on her arms standing on end.
She shivered with a chill crawling down her spine.
Her breaths huffed in and out, but no matter how hard she breathed, she couldn’t get any air.
Her vision tunneled inward, blacking out at the edges, and pinpricks tingled at her lips.
“Tia,” Lyons said. “Tia!”
Warmth enfolded her. Strength flowed into her.
Lyons’s warm, musky odor infiltrated her nostrils and had her eyelids slamming shut.
Her cheeks were wet. Globs of tears spilled down her face.
She swiped at them, even as Lyons gripped her against his chest. His massive paw of a hand cupped her neck and cradled her against his shoulder.
“Shh,” he soothed, “you’re safe.”
Footsteps sounded.
“Oh,” came a voice.
She recognized Warren’s deep alto and stiffened, terrified of the uncharacteristic intimacy between her and Lyons and what Warren must think.
Instead of backing away, Warren knelt beside them.
He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and leaned his forehead against her temple, placing the three of them in a close embrace.
“It’s okay, T,” Warren said. “It’s okay.”
She sniffled and wiped her nose. “I’m sorry, guys,” she said. “Didn’t mean to fall apart.”
Warren took to his feet. His hand rested on her shoulder. “Sometimes, all we need is a hug.” He handed Lyons something. “Barracks assignments are there. I’m gonna…” He paused and released her shoulder. “Sorry, but I kind of need to talk to my wife. I’m gonna leave you two, if that’s okay.”
“We’ve only got one pack left,” Lyons said. “Tia and I’ve got it.”
Tia glanced up, mortified for not realizing how the whole incident had to have affected Warren. His hands shook with the same fine tremors as hers.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Of course. Lyons and I will finish up.”
“Thanks,” he said and then backed away. His gaze drifted to the packs and then zeroed in on Lyons. “Take care of her,” he said.
“You bet,” Lyons’s affirmation couldn’t be any louder or clearer.
With Warren’s abrupt departure, she shifted away, feeling more than foolish by her momentary weakness. “I guess we should wrap this up.”
“Yeah, we’ll do that, but then we need to talk.”
Talk? No way in hell was she going to talk, especially after she’d become everything she hated about the female stereotype.
Women warriors faced an uphill climb every day.
What she just did? Crying? It affirmed everything Lyons thought about women in combat.
They weren’t strong enough—not only in their physical build, but also in their emotional makeup.
Well, she wasn’t going to be that woman.
“Don’t,” she said. “Don’t treat me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like a woman who’s incapable of dealing.”
“I’m not.”
“You know you are. Do me a favor and show me enough respect to admit it.”
“You’re right yet so very wrong. I care about you.
It’s because I fucking care that I’m not leaving you to cry it out alone.
But, even if I didn’t care about you, I wouldn’t leave you to face this alone.
Sure, if you were one of the guys, I’d take you to a bar, pound back a cold one, and make sure your head was screwed on right, but yeah, you’re right.
You’re a woman, a chick, and I treat you a little different.
Don’t ever think it’s because I don’t respect you or that I don’t think you can do this job.
I do. I sure as fucking hell respect the crap out of you.
Here’s the rub though. I. Care. About. You.
There, I said it. I care about you, and that means things have changed.
I care about your feelings, and I’m concerned about where your head is.
Shit, Tia, did you ever stop to consider I might be a little shaken up by what happened, too? ”
“Are you?” She narrowed her eyes with suspicion.
“I came to in the bus…alone.” His voice shook. “I didn’t know where the fuck you were, and you were my very first thought. Warren was grabbing packs and tossing them out of the bus. I had Bent beat up and broken beside me. No sign of you. You don’t even want to know what was going on in my head.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, realizing his point.
“It was chaos after the bus stopped spinning. Everyone was yelling. There was so much noise. I didn’t know what was going on or what to do.
Collins started shouting orders. The security detail took over.
Before I knew it, I was lifted up and out of that bus.
You were…you were out, and I checked on you, but then they pulled me away.
They didn’t let me stay. And I’m so sorry, Ryker.
I’m so damn sorry.” Shame filled her entire being as she realized what he must have thought.
She’d heard him when he came to. There’d been no way to hide his shout.
“Shh,” he said, cupping her face.
The warmth of his hands cradled her cheeks, and all she wanted was for him to lean forward, close the distance, and press his lips against hers. She needed to feel that connection. She needed to feel alive.
“It’s always like that,” he said. “Look, I don’t blame you for not staying with me. If Collins had ordered my ass out of that bus, I would’ve left, too.”
“Don’t say it,” she said. “Please don’t lie to me.”
“I wasn’t.”
“You’re telling me that you would’ve obeyed Collins and not stay with me?”
“I might have made a strong argument, but he was in command, Tia. He had an image in his head of what needed to be done, and that included you getting out of that bus.”
Her entire body shook. Whether strung out from adrenaline or crashing after a burn, she felt toasted, almost high, and needed to move.
“I’ve gotta get out of here,” she said. “My skin is itching, and the air feels thick.”
He gave the packs a glance. “We can’t leave the packs unfinished. I’m not leaving these for Warren.”
She gave a sharp shake of her head. “Okay, but let’s hurry.”
Moving quickly, they inventoried the remaining bags, filled out the resupply lists, and marked down notes. When they finished, Lyons grabbed her hand.
“We’re getting out of here,” he said.
“This feels a little like déjà vu,” she said. “Last time we were here, all I wanted was a hot shower and a soft bed.”
“Well, you’ll get that shower,” he said, his tone cocky and once again full of himself, “but not before I give you a good reason for it.”
“About that,” she said, “Warren’s suspicious.”
“Suspicious?” Ryker laughed.
“Yeah.”
“He’s not suspicious. The bastard is laughing his ass off.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“He’s laughing that it took us this long.”
She covered her mouth. “You told him?”
“Didn’t have to tell that rat bastard anything. That man knows love. He carries it with him every day. Have you seen how he totes his wife around in his heart? He knows.”
“This is exactly why we never should have…”
Ryker placed an arm over her shoulders and dragged her out of the medical center. “Warren isn’t going to tell a soul. I think he’s known longer than I have.”
“And how long have you known?”
“That is a secret I am keeping close,” he said.
“Keeping close? How can you keep something like that close?”
“Okay, here’s the truth. I’ve known for a while.”
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” How had she not known?
“Duh, because you were engaged. A man doesn’t move in on another man’s woman. Not if he has any self-respect.”
“Is that why you hate Scott?”
“No, I dislike Scott because he never put a smile on your face. I told you, a man who can’t do that is a man who doesn’t deserve his woman.”
“I thought I loved him,” she said. “Until I didn’t.”
“It’s okay to let it hurt,” he said. “The guy was a douche bag, and I’m going to spend every waking breath erasing all thoughts of him from your mind. I’ll invade your dreams until all you can think about is me. Scott will become a very distant memory.”
“He already is,” she said. Looking up, she stopped, surprised at their destination. “Why did you bring me here?”
He’d taken her to the hangar where Angel Fire played for the troops.