Chapter 14
AMELIA
Caiden’s kiss still tingled on my lips. It was just as heated and passionate as when we were in Shane and Sabrina’s guest bedroom.
I was immersed in Caiden, and the terrifying part was that I liked it. The way Alex kissed me, it was nowhere close to how good the kiss felt with Caiden.
There were so many sparks igniting between us, like an inferno that had been waiting to flood over for a long time. A reckless thrill.
This wasn't just lust; it was something deeper that hummed beneath my skin, a secret symphony only we could hear.
The memory of Alex faded, a pale imitation of the incandescent heat Caiden ignited within me.
I was trying so hard to distract myself with Alex, to show Caiden I was not his to claim, but I was foolish to think that. I was putty in Caiden’s hands. The second he put his lips on mine, I forgot everything that I was holding onto.
I fell, and he caught me, just like he said.
But then he flew away and left me shattered, my wings now torn.
It was all my fault.
I should have known better than to play with fire. The intoxicating danger, the forbidden sweetness. It was a siren song, and I, a fool, had answered its call.
Now, the silence screamed louder than any argument ever could. The ashes of my defiance remained, a bitter reminder of my own weakness, a testament to Caiden's power.
And in the quiet aftermath, I was left to pick up the pieces of a heart he’d so carelessly crushed.
In front of me, the wild horses were breathtaking. But, I couldn’t enjoy the magic of it like I had hoped, with dark thoughts of Caiden swirling in my mind, haunting me in a tantalizing and aching way.
The wind, once a comforting whisper, now howled a mournful hymn, mirroring the tempest within. Each gust felt like a phantom touch, a ghostly reminder of his lips, his hands.
The vibrant colors of the plains seemed muted, dulled by the grey shadow of my folly. I longed for the oblivion of sleep, a temporary escape from the relentless replay of our stolen moments, each one a shard of regret and yearning piercing my soul.
The horses, majestic and free, were a poignant contrast to my own captivity. I was a prisoner of my own misguided heart, held captive by the memory of a kiss that had both ignited and destroyed me.
A horse neighed, its coat was jet black with a long, thick mane. I watched the animal with envy, its beauty captivating me, yet also tugging at my heart.
“They’re such beautiful creatures,” Sabrina whispered as she came to stand beside me. I nodded, continuing to watch the horses roam along the coast.
“They truly are. It’s so cool seeing them wild and free in a beautiful environment like this.” Our voices were hushed, as if the slightest loudness would scare them away.
The salty tang of the sea, mixed with the dry, dusty scent of sunbaked earth on the plains. Horses' hooves drummed a muffled rhythm, a deep thrumming felt through the soles of my boots.
Sabrina's presence beside me was a comforting warmth, a small island against the icy chill of my despair.
I saw Caiden, a silhouette against the horizon, his gaze mirroring mine as he watched the wild horses. Did he, too, envy their untamed freedom?
His eyes met mine, a flinch in his shoulders betraying his unease, a subtle tremor I felt almost as strongly as the wind. Longing flickered in his features, yet beneath it burned a furious, inner heat, a simmering anger visible in the narrowed intensity of his eyes.
I had rejected him, despite the kiss, and the sting of his hurt echoed my own. Couldn't he see my pain, too?
A prickly itch urged me toward him, a need to spill my soul, yet I faltered. There was a darkness in Caiden’s that was a daunting presence, and I feared the beast within him.
Sydney pranced over to him, her hair fluttering in the breeze, mimicking the majestic aura of the horses that stood before us. She whispered something to him, and he smiled, and they began to chat.
Sydney, with her bright smile and sun-kissed hair, deserved happiness. I genuinely wanted her to find companionship, yet a bitter twist of resentment coiled in my gut.
The image of Caiden's touch, his hands, rough yet tender, the way they had been on me, now envisioned on Sydney ignited a searing inferno within me, a disturbing, bone-deep heat.
The relentless push and pull was a dizzying dance. I craved his nearness, a heady scent of his cologne filling my senses, but the moment our breaths mingled, a wave of breathless panic crashed over me. His warmth was too intense; it forced me to recoil.
"Amelia, can you take some pictures of me and Shane?" Sabrina's voice, bright as the sun, reached me.
The camera, cool metal against my skin, felt weighty in my hands. Following them, I could smell the salty tang of the sea air, warmed by the sun. A dazzling vista of blue water and galloping horses shimmered in the distance.
The rhythmic click of the camera continued for a few moments as I took captures of them. They were radiant against the sun, a perfect couple. His arm draped around her, smiling happily.
He wasn’t too similar to Caiden. While Caiden had dark locks of hair, close to black but not quite with the mahogany hues, and brown eyes, Shane had lighter brown hair like their mother and blue eyes.
But there were some facial features that stuck out. They held the same, dimpled smile. A subtle resemblance, a shared genetic echo in the curve of their jawlines.
“Thank you! Let me see.” Sabrina took the camera and clicked through the pictures, her grin becoming wider with each new photo that appeared.
“These are great, Amelia. I’m going to have to have some framed,” she turned to Shane, “Look, babe!”
They busied themselves with the camera and exchanging sweet words to each other, so I took the time to walk along the sea, watching the horses.
Stealing glances at Caiden, I saw his eyes, dark and intent, fixed on Sydney; her beauty was a radiant bloom.
A nauseous wave, cold and clammy, washed over me, leaving a hollow ache in my chest. I imagined myself adrift, a lonely speck swallowed by the vast sea, my turmoil a silent scream in the churning water.
Jealousy, a bitter vine, began to twist around my heart, its tendrils tightening with each shared smile, each whispered word between them. The air itself felt thick with a premonition of a vision where I was merely a forgotten shore, just as I always had been.
I knew the feeling was familiar because I’d lived it my whole goddamn life. No matter how hard I tried to claw my way into someone’s focus, their orbit always shifted away, indifferent, and I was left in the cold, tending to wounds that never healed right.
That old narrative hummed in my subconscious: You’re not enough. You’re unworthy of being picked. You were made to be left behind.
I closed my eyes, breathing in deep. The brine stung my nostrils, a welcome distraction from the ache in my chest.
When I opened them again, a wild stallion had broken away from the herd, galloping along the neat edge where surf met sand, its black mane a banner of defiance.
I envied its freedom and rawness, its refusal to be tamed by anything or anyone.
The wind, muscles, and salt were all it needed to exist. I craved that kind of clarity. Self-contained and wild, not endlessly dependent on the affirmations and attentions of others.
I started walking along the shore, squinting into the sun, my hands thrust into my jacket pockets. The sand was loose, each step a shallow sinking.
My mind wandered to Caiden, to the kiss, to the way he had peered into me as if he was desperate to memorize the shape of my pain and carry it for himself.
The darkness in him threatened to drown us both, but for a moment I had felt it: the safety in his abyss, the promise that if I fell, he’d reach into the depths and catch me.
I hated myself for turning away, and I hated myself for giving in. A small part of me wanted to go back to that moment and see what would happen if I let myself be consumed by Caiden Baxter.