Bonus Chapter （Next Book） Bobby
I heat the needle on the small canister fire atop my side table.
The room is dark, omniscient like my soul.
Just want these goddamn feelings to evacuate my system, but instead I have to bleed them out or drug them over.
Cleaning the perfect patch of skin on my forearm, I can feel the anticipation build as I ready myself for the prick of the needle, but then the door opens to my room.
After thinking she was dead, then coming to terms with it in a dark and depressing path of self-destruction, it still stuns me to see her full of life before me.
My gorgeous Tilly.
Melancholy paints her beautiful face as she peers down at my arm then back up to meet my eyes. Tears well within her gaze as she slowly approaches, like I’m some animal she doesn’t want to frighten.
She doesn’t make a sound, just glides over to me in her long white slip. The silk shines from the moonlit window, the only thing aglow other than the sinister flame beside me.
She could pass for an angel.
As she slides down to the floor at my feet, I brace myself for the shame that creeps down my spine. She drapes her arm over my knees and props her chin atop her forearm.
We stare at one another.
Suspended in time.
I still have the needle propped and ready, thumb on the plunger, ready to push into my skin. My hands begin to shake slightly. The anticipation is killing me as she breaks the silence with her melodic voice. “May I have some?”
Her question gives me pause.
I shake my head no, sweat breaking out on my brow.
“Then why are you doing it?” she asks so sweetly, so innocently.
I swallow, feeling my throat bob heavily.
Fuck, I feel like I’m about to drown.
Why do I need to answer her?
“I…I need…” I start, but I have a hard time finding the words. Tears threaten as I grit my teeth. “I needed this, because I couldn’t deal with losing you .”
She cocks her head like a pup, then slowly raises her hand to take the syringe from me.
I don’t even fight her.
Her golden locks gleam in the moonlight, her eyes still filled with so much love for a piece of shit like me.
How could she love someone like me ?
Especially with everything I’m doing to myself.
I’m a fucking addict now, for Christ’s sake.
“Shhh,” she whispers, placing one finger against my lips as she stands.
I didn’t even realize a traitorous tear escaped my face, now slowly sliding down my cheek.
Placing the syringe on the table, she envelops me, her arms around my head, pulling it close to her chest as she stands. I can feel the rise and fall of her breathing and it brings me so much comfort.
“I’m here.” Then I feel her rest her cheek atop my head as she begins stroking the back of my head.
Like a fuckin’ dam, I burst.
My emotions can no longer be held down with violence and drugs. They built up for however long as these months passed without her and now she gives me the grace to let go.
“Shhh…I know, darling. I know. I’m so sorry, but I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere,” she whispers into my head, then kisses my forehead. Then she brings our foreheads together.
“You promise?” My eyes search hers.
She gives me a small, beautiful smile.
“I promise, on one condition,” she states.
Pulling her small frame tightly to me, I crush the side of my face to her chest and hear her thunderous heart beating. It makes me smile as I answer her, “Anything. ”
“You stop doing that shit. Got it? It’s an order.” she demands in her seductive, commanding voice.
“Yes, ma’am,” I reply, lifting my head to gaze up at my girl.
She traces small circles on my back as her other hand grasps the back of my neck.
Then she says, “Good. Now be a good boy and crawl.”