Chapter 12 #3
“No, I’ll take care of him.” She would end the engagement once and for all even though she’d feel like the world’s biggest coward doing it by phone.
Skye leaned back, breaking the connection between them, terrified they would kiss if she remained close.
“So, what’s wrong then?” he asked. He settled back onto his heels, uncertainty and vulnerability framing his face.
“Is it because I’m Blaze? Is the fame putting you off?
You liked me well enough when you thought I was Nobody Ash.
” He shook his head. “Usually, it’s the other way around.
No one wants to know Ash, but they sure as hell are all over Blaze. ”
“What do you mean?”
“Only that women are predictable.”
“Predictable?”
“Forget it.”
Like she was going to let that comment go. “Explain what you meant.”
His eyes pinched, and he tilted his head back. “Okay, this is going to sound bad, no matter how I say it, so I’m just going to say it.”
“I’m listening.”
He paused for a moment and then continued, “Women throw themselves at my feet, at the feet of Blaze, just to have a piece of me. And I admit, I’ve taken advantage of what being Blaze has done for me, but I want more.
I gorged myself on sex and sin until I got sick of it.
The few relationships I tried were a joke.
Women take and take, like I’m some goddamn giving tree.
They used me for my money or to be close to my fame, but none of them cared about who I am.
I’m sick of it. I want what my father has, what my brothers have. ”
She listened, not saying anything, while his words cut a hole in her heart. Perhaps she wasn’t the only walking cliché.
“It must be frustrating—to be used like that,” she said.
It was a little odd to listen to a man complain of too much sex and to refer to himself by two different names…identities. But she understood vacuous sex; physical contact without emotional intimacy drained a person.
“It pisses me off,” he continued. “So, when I ran into you, and you…well, you didn’t—”
She hid a smile and finished his sentence, “Jump your bones? Or was it because I didn’t know who you were?”
His smirk made a fleeting reappearance and then melted away under a frown. He scratched the side of his head. “Well, both, to be honest. You treated me like Joe Normal.”
She laughed. “Technically, I treated you as Nobody Ash.”
“Yeah, and it’s fucking amazing. I get to be me for once and not bigger-than-life Blaze, lead singer of Angel Fire.
” He gestured between them. “You and I…there’s something real here.
Fate brought us together. Don’t fuck it up and run because you’re scared.
I’m still the same guy even if I sing for some rock band. ”
The corners of her lips turned up. She couldn’t help it.
And who he was or wasn’t had nothing to do with her issues.
Well, that wasn’t true. His fame complicated an already screwed up situation.
He rubbed his neck, his fingers stretching across the bloody strands of the tattoo, making the web twist beneath his touch. “Is it over, now that you know?” He scooted back, staring at his clasped hands.
The stupid plane rolled down the taxiway, the tires bumping over the tarmac. Slowly, they closed on their destination. Soon, they would have to climb out of the plane and face the prospect of another night together.
Another night.
Another opportunity to feel his touch.
Another chance to fuck everything up.
His simple kiss couldn’t cleanse the taint staining her soul.
Her body shuddered with the remembered pain, and she wished it could be different.
Ash leaped out of his chair and captured her in a hug. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
She wiped tears from her cheeks, not really certain when they’d started to spill.
“I’m okay,” she said, pushing Ash away. “But, since we’re being honest, you need to know something about me, about my past…” Because it would change everything.
By the time the plane stopped, he’d probably want to turn it back around and fly far away, but she found the strength to continue and to be as honest as she dared.
Rubbing her palms on her jeans steadied her nerves. “My childhood…”
“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, but just because something’s complicated doesn’t mean it can’t be fixed.”
Fixed? There was no fixing.
She held up a hand. “There was a time when I was young and powerless. I was hurt in ways my body and brain couldn’t deal with.” She needed to explain why her body did what it did and how her shutting down wasn’t his fault.
“Then, came Bean,” she said, “only they hurt him worse. He was so much weaker and brittler than me. We found each other in the darkness and have been with each other ever since.”
A sour expression crossed his face, like he was going to be sick or kill someone. “Skye, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I survived, as did Bean. We came out on top.” She pulled up her knees and hugged them. “The first time it happened, I was twelve.” Her voice hitched at the memories. “It only got worse.”
Fresh tears poured down her cheeks. She swallowed against the lump in her throat.
Admitting such a private thing felt like someone was punching her in the gut all over again.
She wasn’t ready to discuss the training, the beatings, or the performances that had been forced upon her and Forest by the man entrusted to keep them safe.
“So, Bean’s not your real brother?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“And you love him?” A tone of resignation filled his voice.
“I do,” she said with a vigorous nod. “I love him very much.”
“I see.” Ash’s voice dropped to a whisper.
He pulled her into his lap, despite her protests. Strong arms enfolded her, encasing her in steel.
The plane jerked to a stop, and a few seconds later, the cockpit door popped open. “We’ve arrived,” their pilot announced.
“I arranged a car to pick us up,” Ash said to the pilot. “Can you see if it’s here?”
Hydraulics whirred as the stairs unfolded and lowered to the ground.
Ash’s arm cinched around her shoulders. He kissed the top of her head. “Why were you engaged to Spencer if you love Bean?” The raw edge of disappointment clouded his voice, disturbing the rich tonal notes.
A pained acceptance pronounced itself, and she realized her mistake.
She pushed off his chest to stare into his eyes. “I love Bean very much.” She made certain to speak slowly, ensuring Ash understood and wouldn’t miss what she was saying. “I love Bean, as my brother. He’s my family. Not my—”
“Damn, you’re exhausting.” He laughed.
“Exhausting? You seriously didn’t just say that. I spilled my guts out to you.”
“Yes, you did.”
“And you think it’s funny?”
He’d better have a reason for the laugh, or she was going to kick his ass.
He placed her palms on his chest. “Not by a long shot. I’m going to take you out of this plane, tuck you into my bed, and sleep all night long, curled up next to you.
In the morning, we’re going to have breakfast in bed.
Then, I’m going to show you how a man loves a woman, erasing the bad memories and replacing them with something new. ”
“You can’t do that.”
“Babe, I might be many things, but two things I know for sure.”
“What is that?”
“I rock it onstage like there’s no tomorrow. And I’m going to rock your world.”
“It’s not so easy. You can’t wipe away a lifetime of abuse with a simple fuck.”
He laughed. “Lucky for you, there’s nothing simple about the way I fuck. Besides, I love a challenge. I’m not going anywhere, and I’m sure as shit not letting you run away.”
His intensity terrified her almost as much as it exhilarated her. She didn’t relish being Ash’s project, but for him, she was willing to give it a try.
When the two of them collided, the world seemed to fall into place.
She pushed against his chest. “We’re going to have to buy clothes before we hit the hotel.”
He winked. “True, but I’m paying from here on out.”
She laughed at his pathetic attempt to take control. “Oh no, Rock star. We’re still splitting the bills.”
His eyes rolled. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“I won’t become one of your groupies or use you as—what did you call it? A giving tree? I have my own money.”
“I booked the penthouse suite, babe. You’re not paying for that.”
The pilot popped his head back inside the hatchway. “Sir, your limo is here.”
“And the limo.” A smug expression filled his face. “I’m paying for that, too.”
“A limo? What happened to keeping a low profile?”
His lips twisted. “I got excited.”
“You’re an idiot. I’m paying for the limo and the hotel. You can’t possibly have that much cash in that roll you’ve been using.”
“I have a credit card. Seriously, don’t worry about it.”
When he opened his mouth to argue, she silenced him, pressing her index finger to his lips. “You already agreed to the rules. I want a quiet few days, and I don’t want to be running from the paparazzi the whole time. What name did you book the room under?”
His cheeks colored. “I used an alias. This isn’t my first rodeo.”
“At least you’re not a total idiot.”
He laughed. “No, I’m not.” He grabbed her hand. “Come, our shopping adventure awaits. I say, we skip the thrift stores and upscale it a bit. Your choice—Walmart or Target?”