Chapter 24 #2
“Well, it’s supposed to feel good, not hurt.
Let me know if it’s too much.” He kissed her shoulder, the sweep of his lips blazing a fiery trail along her skin.
He collected her hair and straightened it down her back.
“I love your hair.” His fingers returned to her shoulders and pressed, causing her to gasp as he hit on a sore spot. “Stop?”
“Mmm…no.” She loved how he checked in while continuing to work the muscles.
“How about we wash out this hair?” He guided her under the shower through the fog of steam billowing out.
She pinched her eyes shut, knowing it would soon be time to take care of him. He positioned her under the stream of water, wetting her hair, and when she stepped away to lather in shampoo, he gave a jerk of his head. He squeezed out shampoo into the palm of his hand.
“You’re going to need a lot more than that,” she said with a soft laugh.
“Don’t worry; I’ll take care of you.”
Of course, he meant something other than simply washing her hair. That promise still hung between them.
He had the most divine hands ever created on earth, and she loved that he had yet to go after her breasts or pussy. He seemed to truly care about making her feel comfortable. She tilted back and let him pamper her with the best scalp massage she’d ever experienced.
“Time to wash the rest of you.” His gentle words brought all of her fears crashing back to the surface.
Before she could say a word, he leaned the length of his body against hers and wrapped his arms around her waist. A low moan issued from his throat.
“Don’t disappear on me, babe. Close your eyes and feel me. Just relax and enjoy the moment.”
He traced a finger up her arm, tickling the roughened skin of her elbow and massaging her forearm. Electricity sparked between them, and her body thawed under his touch. He continued his exploration, slow and determined, and he seemed intent to let this moment stretch between them forever.
His fingers drifted over the backs of her hands, stroking lightly. There was no hesitancy to his touch, but neither did he seem hurried. It was as if they were trapped in time, stuck within a moment of sensual bliss. And where his touch was sure and exact, she found herself trembling.
Their fingers interlocked, and he raised their clasped hands to nestle beneath her breasts. His embrace encased her within the cage of his strength, and as he pressed his entire body against hers, she felt cocooned by his protection and supported by his strength.
Safe wasn’t a word she regularly used, but Ash had broken through her barriers. He’d never hurt her; only her hesitancy would hinder them.
A future with Ash is what she wanted, and that realization had her heart hammering out a pounding rhythm. But would he grow tired, the way Spencer had?
Suds covered them, trailing off her hair and running down her back. Their skin slid against each other, slippery with the shampoo and heating with desire.
“You doing okay?” his husky voice whispered in her ear. “Any triggers?”
She bit her lower lip, not trusting herself to speak, and she nodded.
“Yes, you’re okay? Or, yes, this is tripping memories?”
And what if it were?
If she wanted him in her life, she would have to force herself past her issues because no man wanted a broken woman in his bed.
“I’m okay.” She would tell him the truth—up until the moment she had to lie.
“If I do anything that bothers you, promise you’ll let me know?”
He surprised her at every turn.
What would he do? While her reaction was predictable, it tended to happen at the worst possible moment. Could she trust him?
She practiced her avoidance again. “Um, I have to use conditioner on my hair. If I don’t, I can’t get the tangles out.”
He laughed, but the tone of his voice told her she hadn’t succeeded in distracting him. “Okay.”
She tilted her head back and reached around to take his cock into her hand.
He shifted away. “No.”
“Don’t you want me to—”
“Not until you’re comfortable with me touching you. I’m not in a hurry, Skye.” He nuzzled the soft hollow of her neck. “We have all the time in the world.”
And damn if she didn’t wish to give him what he wanted.
She turned around and laced her fingers around his neck. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do. I really do. But don’t try to fix me.”
His stare caught her off guard because she saw a hunger there that matched her deepest desire.
Face-to-face with him, she couldn’t look away.
He wanted more than sex. He wanted her happiness.
She didn’t doubt his desire to fix her, but that was not what she saw reflected in the intensity of his gaze.
His passion terrified her because it freed her from her burdens and made her feel blissfully alive.
She was only just realizing what that might mean.
His body molded against hers, merging them together into one person.
He kissed her, shoving his hands in her hair, gripping and pulling, until she groaned with the possession.
She wrapped her arms around his back while he coaxed a deeper kiss.
She couldn’t help but flex her hips, rocking against the hard press of his cock.
And, as she did, her pulse thrummed past her ears, racing with a gathering heat.
She reached between them, eliciting a hiss, followed by a deep moan, as she stroked his shaft.
He placed his hand over hers, stilling her motion. “Stop.”
“But…”
It wouldn’t take long for her to bring his climax toward an inevitable conclusion, but he refused to let her, gripping her wrist and holding it still.
His eyes latched on to hers, a darkness brewing in their depths. “We give, and we take, babe. I won’t take without giving something back. I need to touch you, too.”
“You can take me any way you want.” Fucking had never been a problem. He could bury himself inside her, and she would be content for him to take everything he needed.
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
Defeated, she released her hand from his pulsing cock. “You want me to come, and I told you, I can’t.”
Not without images of her foster father filling her head, ripping her tender flesh apart with his prick, as his slimy flesh slapped against her bruises. Or, the worst memory of all, the violation forced upon Forest to compel her orgasmic release or face something much worse.
Ash shook his head. “All I’m asking is for you to trust me. I want you to feel as good as you make me feel.”
Men always thought they could fix things.
As steam billowed all around them, his stare hardened, as did her resolve.
Men were so fucking obstinate.
His insistence, while gallant, prolonged the shower and kept her from her bed. Fatigue pulled at her muscles and fogged her brain. Her seduction, grabbing his dick and tugging on it, crass as it was, seemed to be failing.
The corners of his mouth twitched as he tried to resist the sensations she pulled from his body. With a flick of her finger under the head of his cock, he sucked in air as her grip tightened around his shaft. She stroked him from root to crown and arched a brow as she stared him down.
“You got me by the balls here,” he said.
She winked. “I know.”
“I’ll never give up, you know.”
She lowered to her knees. “Accept me for who I am. Accept what I can give.” Please don’t judge me by my past. I can’t change any of it.
Steam heated her cheeks. She could smell him. The perfume from the shampoo lathered his skin, but the musky aroma of his arousal had her nostrils flaring.
She blinked, and as she opened her mouth to take him in, a harsh emotion emerged. Simmering anger rose from her gut.
This was what her foster father had stolen. Intimacy remained an impossible dream.
She pushed her anger aside and kissed the tip of Ash’s cock. Wrapping her lips around him, she explored his velvety length. Hard as steel, his cock jerked and swelled. Eagerly, she licked, swirling her tongue around the tip.
His guttural low groan encouraged her exploration, and when his legs began to shake, she knew he was getting close.
He grew harder and hotter in her mouth. She licked and sucked, letting his moans guide her next step.
She cupped his sack, caressing his heavy balls, careful not to rake the tender skin with her nails.
Ash’s moans intensified as she swallowed his full length, overcoming her gag instinct to take him fully.
She sucked and then pulled out, slow, dragging her tongue along his length.
His body shook, hips thrusting forward, trying to take over and fuck her face.
She loved the effect she had on him, how he would come undone under her touch.
She loved every moment and allowed him the freedom he needed.
And, as he fucked her mouth, his sharp, uneven exhalations filled the shower with the urgency of his need.
“Holy fuck!” He grasped the wet length of her hair, pulling and guiding her head as he desired.
He was close, and she coaxed his climax to completion with measured long pulls of her mouth. And then, finally, his body went rigid. He wrapped her hair around his wrist, holding her face against his groin, as the aftershocks of his orgasm shot through him.
She licked and sucked, swallowing every last drop, until his cock slipped from her lips. She watched him struggle to regain the smoothness of his breath.
“Goddamn, I’ve never…” He released her hair, letting it fall against her back.
Yeah, she knew the rest of that line.
Lead singer, rock-star extraordinaire, used to bringing groupies in by the dozen, he’d probably been sucked off by more women than he could remember, and none could hold a candle to her skills.
Those bimbos hadn’t been trained from the age of twelve or been forced to practice day and night to perfect their skills.
Her cheeks turned hot and not from the steam. As she was camouflaged by the water, Ash had no idea she was in the midst of breaking down. She might have overcome adversity and risen to a profession of respect, but she had not outgrown the ghosts of her past.
The fates had to be laughing now. She was married by mistake to a rock star who’d fucked scores, if not hundreds of groupies. Wasn’t it ironic that he’d married a true whore, and how would she explain that to the in-laws? A minister and his grade-school teacher wife?
Her cheeks blazed with shame.
“Skye?” Ash lowered to his knees and clasped her within his embrace.
She let her hair hang forward, desperate to hide her emotion. “Yes?”
“Why won’t you let me do that for you?”
“I told you why.” Hadn’t he been listening?
“You told me you were forced to…to do things, but I want to make new memories to replace the bad ones. Don’t you think we should at least try?”
Best to lay it right out here. He obviously didn’t understand.
“There was more to it than simple abuse.” So much more.
She took in a deep breath, but he cut her off.
He leaned his forehead against hers. “I love you.”
She melted into his embrace. His touch did that to her, encapsulated her in a shroud of protection where she could envision herself safe. But her mind remembered, even as her heart struggled to love.
Ash came from a family who believed in true love.
He was a man running from fame and the cheap groupie hook-ups that came with it.
As much as he rebelled against his stereotypical roots, he craved to return to them.
A woman with her past didn’t fit into a minister’s family full of picket fences, picnics, and never-ending hugs.
“I don’t need to be saved,” she said.
He cupped her chin and forced her to look at him. “I’m not here to save you, but I will. I love you, and that’s something you can’t run away from.” His eyes pinched, as if trying to convey something he thought she wouldn’t understand.
And the irony was, he was probably right. She didn’t understand him at all.
“Then, what does it matter?” She pulled his hand away from her chin. “I like making you feel good. Why can’t that be enough?”
He rocked her under the flow of water streaming over their bodies.
“Someday, I’m going to show you why it isn’t enough.” He kissed the top of her head. “For now, I won’t push, but I need you to allow me to touch you.”
She cringed. How had they circled back around to that? “Ash…”
“We’ll start slow, like the massage. I’ll stop when you tell me to.”
So much hope was held in his voice; she didn’t want to crush him out of hand.
“You’re not going to give up, are you?”
He shook his head. “Never.”
“What if I don’t agree?”
“Then, you leave me no choice.”
“No choice?” This was it then.
“You’ll force me to take a vow of chastity.”
Her eyes widened. “You’d give up sex?”
He brushed the backs of his fingers against her lips. “I won’t have you serving me. I told you, I’m in this for the bigger prize. That means all of you, not just pieces of you.”
“But…”
“I don’t know anything about abuse or how to help you, but I’ll learn. We’ll learn together and find help if we need it because I’m in this with you, for better or for worse. We never exchanged vows, but I believe them in my heart.”
She reached out and traced the curve of his bicep. “About that, I wish we’d taken the time to get to know each other better.”
He tilted his head back and opened his mouth, letting water pour in. He spit across the opposite shower wall. “You would’ve run for the hills once you found out who I was.”
“Technically, I knew who you were before we got married.”
And he still didn’t have a clue as to who she was, both past and present.
“Well, you’re mine now, Skye Summers Dean. You belong to me.”
She belonged to him only until he learned the truth. After that, he wouldn’t be able to sign the annulment papers fast enough.