Chapter 17
seventeen
By the time I get home, my body is aching for a good stretch.
The contractors worked nonstop trying to get as much done as possible, and I’ve been hunched over my desk making calls and finalizing schedules for our soft opening.
My shoulders feel tight, my lower back is screaming, and my mind won’t stop racing with all the details still left to handle.
Swapping my work clothes for a sports bra, tank top, and shorts, I grab my mat and head out to the lake behind my house. It’s a perfect spot for yoga. Peaceful, and with an unobstructed view of the sunset over the water.
The evening air is still warm as I spread out my mat and begin my warm-up.
Starting with gentle stretches, I focus on my breath, letting it center me as I move through each pose.
The tension in my shoulders begins to melt away as I transition into a flow sequence, my body easing its way into a rhythm.
With each move, I feel more grounded, more present. This is why I love yoga—the way it forces me to be in the moment. Focus on nothing but my breath and the sensations in my body. Leaving no room for thoughts about work, Ryan’s bullshit, or... Jax.
And yet, even though I do my best to push him out of my mind, images keep slipping through. The intensity in his eyes when he looks at me. The way he kisses. The sound of his sinful voice coming through my phone as he watched me through my window.
I shake my head, pushing those thoughts away as I shift into warrior one.
By the time I transition into child’s pose, the sun is beginning to set, painting the sky in brilliant shades of orange and pink.
I like to time my sessions so I end in seated meditation just as the sun touches the horizon. Eyes closed, I take deep breaths, savoring the peace as it washes over me.
After a few minutes, the sound of footsteps coming up from behind breaks my concentration. I know exactly who it is. I can feel his presence, his energy tingling up the back of my neck.
When I open my eyes, Jax is lowering himself to sit beside me. He pulls his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them, and stares out at the water. We sit together in silence, watching as the sun makes its final descent.
“So,” he says finally. “Have you thought about my offer?”
I turn to look at him, studying his profile in the fading light. “Why are you doing this?”
Keeping his gaze on the horizon, he grins. “Just want you to think long and hard about what you’re missing. Pun intended, of course.” He bumps my shoulder with his. “Would friends-with-benefits be so bad? Like I said, it doesn’t have to be anything serious. Just two consenting adults having fun.”
I weigh his words against the warning bells going off in my head. “Okay,” I say finally. “If—and that’s a big if—we’re going to be friends-with-benefits, you’re going to need to open up. Friends talk. Tell me more about what happened after you injured your knee.”
His expression turns serious. “Okay. I can do that. But when it comes to my past, it’s gonna have to be give and take.
You can’t ask me to share those parts of myself without you doing the same.
” His voice drops into a lower, more intimate register.
“And when we’re done talking? I get to kiss you anywhere I want. ”
The thought of kissing Jax again makes my lips tingle in anticipation. Not trusting my voice, I nod.
He turns his attention back to the water, expression thoughtful.
“After I blew out my knee, everything changed. One minute I was on track for the draft, and the next, my career was over before it even began.” He pauses, running a nervous hand over the buzzed section of hair on the side of his head.
“The doctors prescribed pain meds after the surgery. At first, I took them as directed, but then...”
I watch him as he speaks, my chest tightening when I see a shadow of pain briefly flash across his face.
“After a while, depression got the best of me.” He sighs. “And the only thing that helped me feel better were the pills.”
“For how long?”
Shifting his position, he turns to face me directly. “About a year. Started with the prescription stuff. When those ran out, I found other ways to get what I thought I needed.” His jaw tightens. “Lost everything. My scholarship, my apartment, most of my friends.”
“What was it that made you realize you needed help?” I ask softly.
Jax’s eyes meet mine, vulnerability flickering in their depths. “My dad. He gave me an ultimatum: Get clean or get out,” he shrugs, voice rough. “I was living with him at the time, so the threat hit pretty hard knowing I had nowhere else to go.”
“That must have been difficult for both of you.”
“It was the wake-up call I needed.”
“Claire mentioned you volunteer at a horse ranch that helps people with trauma and addiction.”
His eyes snap to mine in surprise. “She told you about that?”
“She did.” I smile softly. “I think that’s amazing. I love horses. I learned to ride when I was a kid, but after my parents divorced, I never really got back into it. I haven’t ridden in a long time.”
He nods. “Horses are incredibly intuitive animals. They can sense your energy, your emotions. If you’re anxious or aggressive, they’ll know right away.
” The smile he gives me is different from his usual cocky grin—softer, more genuine.
“When you’re working with an animal that weighs a thousand pounds, you have to be present, calm. It forces you out of your head.”
I’m genuinely impressed. “Sound a lot like what yoga does for me. How did you end up getting involved with the ranch?”
“My rehab counselor suggested it. Said I needed something positive to focus on.” He picks up a small stone and tosses it into the lake, watching the ripples spread. “At first, I thought it was a bunch of bullshit. I mean, come on, horses? But after my first session, I was hooked.”
His expression softens as he continues to talk, showing me a side of him I never expected to see.
“The J maybe I’ve been too wrapped up in everything else about him lately to pay attention.
Before I can second-guess myself, I lift a hand on instinct, brushing a finger gently along the ink.
Jax stills.
“Why a dragonfly?” I ask softly.
Clearing his throat, his voice is a low rasp when he answers.
“Dragonflies spend most of their lives underwater before they fly.” Jaw clenching once, his eyes stay latched on the horizon.
“There was a time in my life when I’d thought I wouldn’t get a second chance to rise above the surface.
That I would just drown in my addiction. But when I finally did...”
He shrugs.
I let my hand fall, unsure of what to do with the unexpected warmth seeping into the center of my chest. “It’s beautiful,” I whisper.
He huffs out a soft laugh. “Not exactly what I was going for.”
“Still. I get it,” I murmur.
That earns me a look, and it’s one I feel everywhere.
Then he shifts, his shoulder brushing against mine, and the moment folds back into the quiet between us.
When he finally speaks again, his voice is almost hesitant. “You should come.”
Not sure I heard him correctly, I blink. “What?”
“To the ranch,” he clarifies as he looks at me. “Come with me.”
“You want to go away with me for a weekend? Seriously?” I shake my head in disbelief. “You said you just wanted to be FWB. Not that you wanted to date.”
A slow smile spreads across his face, and he leans in close enough I catch a hint of spice and wood.
“Friends go on weekend trips too, ya know. We don’t have to have sex.
Unless you want to,” he winks, making my stomach do a little flip.
“I still want to get to know you, even if what we’d potentially be doing isn’t serious. ”
I bite my lip, considering. “But isn’t that your thing? Spending time at the ranch?”
“It’s not just for me,” he says with a shrug. “And I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want you to come. Ryder’s gone with me before. In fact, I even took everyone from Skin & Ink for a team-building weekend once.” His sincere eyes meet mine. “You’d love it.”
The idea is more tempting than it should be. “When are you going?”
“Next weekend.”
I don’t understand why his offer makes me want to cement another brick onto my carefully constructed wall. I know Jax is a good guy, so why can’t I just let myself relax and have some fun? No strings, just sex. What’s the worst that could happen?
I hesitate, not quite ready to commit. “Can I get back to you on that?”
“Sure,” he says easily. “We’ll put that on the maybe list.”
That makes me laugh. “You have a maybe list?”
He tilts his head and looks me in the eye. “I have a feeling you’re going to ‘maybe’ me a lot, so yeah, I’m starting a list.” He grins, then waves a hand in my direction. “Now. Tell me why you decided to forgo sports medicine and become an entrepreneur.”