Chapter 46
forty-six
After Jax leaves, I sag against the wall, heart racing, lips still tingling from his kiss as his words echo in my head.
“I’ll be here. Waiting. However long it takes.”
God, what am I doing? Why the hell am I fighting this so hard?
With a deep breath, I smooth my hands over my thighs and run my fingers through my hair before I leave my office and head to the front of the studio to see Noia bent over at the waist stretching her calves.
As if sensing my presence, she straightens, giving me a look that speaks volumes. With one eyebrow arched and amusement dancing in her eyes, the grin playing on her lips makes me want to throttle her. In a loving way, of course.
“Could you not rub your ‘I told you so about Jax’ face in my face?” I grumble, making my way over to the section we’ve set up with padded mats for stretching after a class.
“Why?” She has the gall to snicker. “I’m sure it’s not the only thing of his that’s been rubbed in your face.”
Letting out a screech, I grab my best friend by the waist, hook my foot behind her ankle, and take her down to the mat.
Straddling her, I immediately dig my fingers into her ribs, making her squeal with laughter. “Take it back, you bitch,” I growl playfully.
“Never!”
Finally, I relent, rolling away to lie beside her and stare up at the ceiling. The studio is quiet now that everyone has left. Even Reyna has disappeared into the back room to organize equipment.
“I don’t know what to do,” I admit quietly. “Being with Jax is...”
“The best sex you’ve ever had?” Noia offers helpfully.
My arm flops, smacking the back of my hand on her stomach, making me grin with glee when she lets out an ‘oof!’
After catching her breath, Noia chuckles, “Ignoring what your pussy is saying…” I bark out a laugh, and her voice turns serious. “What is your heart telling you?”
I sigh. My emotions feel like a heavy weight pressing down on my entire body. “That I should give him a chance.”
“Really?” She turns her head to look at me, genuine surprise in her eyes. “That’s... progress.”
“He said some things to me,” I tell her, then proceed to share what happened in the kitchen the other morning when he explained about the sketchbook. “He told me he wanted me in his life, not just his bed. That he wants to be the one I turn to when I need someone.
“And then, just a few minutes ago, he stormed into my office, pushed me up against the wall, and told me he’s not my dad or Ryan and that he would never intentionally do anything to hurt me.”
Noia listens intently as I explain everything, her expression softening with each word. When I finish, she shakes her head.
“Well. At least you know where his head is at. The one on his shoulders, I mean.”
My arm flops again, but she evades it, and we both dissolve into laughter.
When our giggles subside, she turns onto her side and looks down at me, her expression suddenly serious as she props her head in her hand. “So when are you going to tell him how you feel?”
My heart skips. “Tonight.”
My mind flicks back to the night we hung out watching Pretty Woman and the famous tie scene.
The way Jax’s eyes darkened, focusing on my mouth when he told me there were so many things he could do with a tie.
How when his voice dropped an octave, heat flooded my veins, and it took everything in me not to jump his bones right then and there.
Suddenly, I have the best idea. Sitting up abruptly, I look at my bestie. “You wanna come help me pick out a tie?”
“A tie?” she asks with an incredulous laugh. “What’re you gonna do? Tie his ass up?”
I give her a sly grin. “Something like that, yeah.”
Noia’s eyes widen before she bursts into another fit of laughter. “Oh my god, you’re going to recreate the tie scene from Pretty Woman, aren’t you?”
“Duh.” I push myself up off the floor, offering her my hand. “I’m thinking a visual aid will be a fantastic way to show him how I feel.”
She takes my hand, and I pull her to her feet. “See? This just proves I’m not the only slut-monkey in this relationship.”
An hour later, after a quick shower and change of clothes, we’re at Lakeside’s only men’s clothing store, perusing a rack of silk ties.
Noia holds up a bright red one with tiny sailboats. “What about this?” she asks, waving it in front of my face.
I giggle and wrinkle my nose. “I need something that screams, ‘I’m ready to give us a chance,’ not ‘Let’s go sailing.’”
“Fair.” Noia shrugs and her grin turns nefarious. “Are you sure it doesn’t scream, ‘I want your cock to sail straight into my vagina’?”
We burst out laughing and I give her a shove.
Returning it to the rack, we continue our search.
I run my fingers over the silky fabrics, trying to find one that feels right. Something that’ll immediately catch Jax’s attention.
“How ‘bout this one?” Noia pulls out a deep emerald green tie woven with subtle silver threads. “It matches your eyes, and it’ll make your hair really pop.”
Taking it from her, I examine it closely. The silk feels smooth and luxurious between my fingers, and the color is perfect—rich and vibrant, but not too flashy.
“What do you think?” she asks, watching me closely.
“It’s perfect.” I smile, already imagining what Jax’s reaction will be when he sees it.
After checking out, we decide to make it a girls’ day. First stop is lunch at a cute bistro overlooking the lake, where we share a bottle of wine while I fill Noia in on what it’s been like living with Jax.
“So you’re just... what? Ignoring each other?” she asks, popping an olive into her mouth.
“Pretty much. When he comes home, he’ll either go downstairs to his man cave or straight to his art studio, and I’ll stay in my room. We’ve even stopped eating together. It’s torture.”
“And how are the...” She points at my boobs. “...new additions?”
“Still sore,” I admit, forcing myself not to shield them with my arms on instinct. “But in a good way. They’re... sensitive, that’s for sure.”
After lunch, we head to Prepped & Polished. Of the two nail salon’s in Lakeside, it’s our favorite.
Once our nails are dry we treat ourselves to a massage, and an hour later, I’m so relaxed I feel like I’m floating as we walk back to our cars.
“You sure you don’t want me to help you set up?” Noia asks, hugging me gently so she doesn’t squish my boobs.
“I’m sure. This is something I need to do on my own and there’s not much to do anyway,” I say returning her soft squeeze. “But thank you. For everything.”
“Just text me tomorrow with all the dirty details,” she says with a wink. “And don’t forget—you deserve to be happy, Sash. Don’t let fear stop you from going after what you want.”
After she drives away, I head to the liquor store for a bottle of Jax’s favorite whiskey, then head home.
Parking my car in my driveway, I check the time on my phone. He usually gets home around six-thirty, which gives me two hours to prepare.
I take my time in the shower, making sure to shave everywhere. The fresh vanilla-scented body wash Noia convinced me to buy fills the steamy air as I lather up.
My piercings have healed enough that I can touch them without wincing. The rose gold color looks amazing in contrast to my skin tone, giving me a little thrill. I wonder how Jax will react when he sees them again?
Once I’m dry, I slather myself with coconut body butter. Then I dry my hair just enough to encourage my natural waves, letting it fall loose around my shoulders.
Makeup comes next, but only enough to enhance my features. A swipe of mascara, a touch of blush, and tinted lip balm. Just a slightly more polished version of myself.
Standing in front of the full-length mirror that’s hanging on the back of the bathroom door, I check my reflection. My piercings catch the light, drawing attention to my breasts and the subtle shimmer from my body lotion makes my skin glow.
Draping the tie around my neck, I let both ends hang loose between my breasts, green silk contrasting warmly against my skin.
My stomach flutters with nervous anticipation. “You can do this,” I whisper to myself.
Naked, except for the tie, I glance at the clock. Heart racing, I tiptoe down the stairs, bare feet silent on the hardwood floors as I head for the kitchen to pour myself a glass of red wine to help calm my nerves.
The living room is dimly lit, with just a single lamp in the far corner casting a soft, warm glow. The special bottle of whiskey I bought sits on the coffee table in front of me next to a tumbler I’ve already filled for Jax.
Taking a deep breath, I settle into the oversized, butter-soft leather La-Z-Boy recliner. No more than ten minutes later, I hear his truck pull into the driveway.
My heart is practically beating out of my chest as I adjust myself in my seat. Spreading my legs, I swing one leg over the arm of the chair, letting the other fall open. I’m already wet. Just the anticipation alone has got my skin tingling and my clit throbbing.
When I look down to make sure the tie is still perfectly positioned, I hear the key turn in the lock.