Chapter 12
Val
The late Mandisa’s voice uplifts my heart as I dance around the house, waterpot in hand.
I’ve been talking to my plant babies while watering the ones who need a drink.
For some reason, when I got home, I just felt blah.
I’m not sure if the constant bustle of the afternoon is to blame or the winter weather.
Plus, everyone in the office had one problem or another, leaving me to put out fire after fire.
My thoughts shift to how Jabari stated I ran the office.
I’ve never looked at my position like that.
Sure, a time or two I might’ve griped about not getting the proper thanks I deserved.
But those thoughts stem more from being overworked and feeling unappreciated.
Believing I run the ship has never crossed my mind, but now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Why is it I can run the office, grab coffee orders every morning, get Jackie’s dry cleaning, and smooth relations between my two sisters, but I’m incapable of getting the very thing I want?
What do you want?
I stop dancing and take in a deep breath.
I wish I knew what I wanted out of life.
The only thing I can say for certain is this isn’t it.
I don’t like managing things. I don’t like the mundanity of the day.
There has to be more to life than going to work, coming home, and repeating it all over again. Right?
After feeding all my babies, I head to the couch to order dinner. I didn’t thaw out any meat, and I don’t want a salad. Actually, maybe I should call Jabari to find out how his meeting went. But it’s only six thirty.
Fran walks into the living room, eyebrows raised. “Weren’t you just dancing around the place?”
“I’m done.” I quirk my lips.
“Hmm.” She tilts her head to the side. “What’s going on with you?”
I frown and hold up my phone. “I’m playing eenie meenie what’s for dinner.”
Fran chuckles and gathers her hair into a clip. “Not what are you doing. I mean, you’ve been extra quiet, extra moody, and extra happy. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were dating someone.”
I laugh. Though why my heart skitters and immediately thinks of Jabari, I have no idea. “But you do know better.”
“Why not ask Raimo to set you up again?”
“Why? So I can be matched with your ex this time?” While the words are meant to make Fran laugh, I definitely don’t need any more drama a blind date could bring.
Sure, I’m thankful for my friendship with Jabari even though I’m wholly aware it’ll explode in my face sooner or later. Only God knows the time.
“I don’t date DC residents, so you’re safe.”
“It would be just my luck that a transplant comes to the Warriors in time for Raimo to set me up.”
Fran grins. “Then let me set you up.” She places a hand across her chest.
I stare at my little sister. “Do you even know my type?” Do you know your own type, Val? Hmm, I think so.
“Of course I do.” She sits on the armchair nearest the couch. “You want a guy who’s dependable and won’t mind living in a tropical rainforest.”
I roll my eyes.
“He would read to you or has a hobby he can do while you read. And he has to joke around.”
Is it me, or are her requirements totally boring? Am I boring?
I’m not sure if I like the idea of being boring, but I also can’t argue with her list. Who doesn’t want to be with someone dependable?
Anyone who doesn’t isn’t looking for a committed relationship.
And I do need a guy who will let me keep every last one of my plants.
Some of the ones currently in our house will only be here until the frost is over and I drag them back outside, but I’m thinking of starting a community garden on the building’s rooftop terrace.
“I don’t know, Fran.”
“Please . . .” She intertwines her fingers, placing them under her chin. “I need a nonwork project to de-stress.”
“And my love life will do that?”
“Your lack of love life.” She nods. “It’ll be perfect. I can already think of a couple of candidates.”
I’m going to regret this, aren’t I? Still, the pleading look on my sister’s face is tugging at my heartstrings, so I nod in acceptance.
“Yes! Thank you, Val.” Fran wraps her arms around me and squeezes. She pulls back. “You doing anything tomorrow evening?”
“It’s Friday.”
“So that’s a no?”
I huff. “If you want to set up something so soon, fine. Otherwise, I’d prefer next weekend.” I need more time to mentally prepare to go out with a stranger again.
“Will do. Let me go set things up.” Fran wiggles her fingers at me and trounces to the back where her bedroom is.
What will Jabari think of my blind date?
As if my mind is connected to his, my phone rings, JH flashing across the screen. I get up and walk to my room while swiping right to answer the phone.
“Hey, how did it go?” I bite my lip. I’ve been praying for him all afternoon. The waiting has been awful.
He groans. “They were kind, but, yeah, my career is over.”
Oh my word. “I’m so sorry.” Questions fill my mind as I consider what this means for him. “Are they going to end your contract now?”
“No. They’re going to put me on the injured reserve list and then let me retire when the season is over.”
“How are you handling everything?” I sink onto my bed, rubbing at the ache in my chest.
“When I saw you earlier, I felt resigned to it all. It made sense. There’s absolutely nothing I can do to change my circumstances.”
All logical statements. “But . . . ?”
“But I’m angry. I’m frustrated. I’m . . .” I hear an audible swallow. “I’m sad.”
I swipe at a tear. “I’d be all of those things too.”
“Would you? You seem like you have it all together.” He pauses. “Val, do you ever wrestle with doubts?”
“Of course I do. You’ve had a dream career where you get to play a game you’re passionate about. I legit only have passion toward plants. Everything else seems kind of pointless, you know?” I hold back a sigh. I didn’t mean to word vomit or turn the conversation toward me. This is Jabari’s time.
“Val, you’re incredible at what you do, which is why the agency still runs. But I can understand not knowing what to do with your life. I’m in the same boat now.”
“How do we get to shore?”
Jabari laughs, and his deep tenor gives me shivers. I frown at the goose bumps along my arms. What in the world is up with that reaction?
“When you figure it out, let me know because I definitely want off the boat.”
“Same. Unless we can turn it into a yacht cruising down the Potomac or somewhere better.”
“Pacific Ocean is gorgeous. Want to fly out and have fun?”
I laugh. “Be serious. Your mom is coming, and I work.”
“Then after my mom leaves.”
Is his offer serious? What would a vacation with him look like? “I’m not sure. I’d need to check my vacation days . . . if you’re serious?” I say hesitantly.
“I’m always serious.”
I snort. “Except for when you asked the waitress if they had Southern food at the Florida Avenue Grill knowing that’s exactly what they serve.”
“Hey, she laughed.”
“Out of pity.”
“Ouch.” But his corresponding laughter tells me he isn’t upset. “What are you up to now?”
“Waiting on a food delivery and avoiding my sister.”
“Which one?”
“Fran. We live together.”
“What did she do?”
I slip a throw pillow underneath my head so I’m more angled. “She’s setting me up on another blind date.”
“You’re going on another one?”
What’s that tone? Is he remembering our own? “Maybe?”
“Val, was that a question?”
“I told her I was open to it, but only because she gave me puppy dog eyes. She knows that’s my kryptonite.”
“Do you always do what your sisters want?”
I rub my chest again. Why does that question feel like a dart right to the heart? “Maybe?” I answer more subdued.
“And when do you get to do what you want?”
“When I hang out with you.” I blink, surprised by how right the answer is.
“I’m glad.” Jabari clears his throat. “Would you be interested in meeting my mom? She flies in tomorrow, and I was thinking of having you over for dinner on Saturday.”
My face heats. Why does he ask me things I wish could happen but can automatically count issues with? My mind considers the potential ramifications.
“Val?”
“Yes?”
“I don’t want you to treat me like you would your family. I don’t want you to say yes to something if you really want to say no. But I’d also ask you to consider taking a risk if you really want to say yes but believe you should say no.”
He’s right. I’ve been trying to figure out what’s been missing in my life.
How I’ve gotten stuck in the . . . well, nothing.
Maybe being true to myself is the first step.
Maybe I should do something I actually want to do.
Right now, that means being there for Jabari when his mom arrives.
Not because he’s asking but because I genuinely care to see how they both navigate his new circumstances.
“I’d love to come.”
“Yeah?” Though the question is laced in caution, I hear the hope in his voice too.
“Yes.” My heart flutters, but I don’t give heed to the little palpitation. “Thank you for thinking of me.”
“Always. I think you’re edging out Raimo and Javier in the best friend spot.”
I laugh just as the door chimes. “Hey, I think my dinner has arrived.”
“Talk later?”
“Yes, it’s better than voice texts in my opinion.”
“Agreed.” A beat of silence passes. “Night, Val.”
“Night, Jabari.”
I end the call, a smile still on my face.
By the time I get to the front door, the food has been placed on a little stool outside of our door.
The smell from my Chinese takeout has me shaking my hips with glee as I head to the kitchen for a bowl.
If I’m smart, half of my fried rice will end up as lunch tomorrow.
“Val!” Fran shouts as she slides into the kitchen, reaching for the wall at the last second. “I got you a date tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” Who could’ve possibly said yes so quickly? And why?
Fran bobbles her head up and down. “Yes, tomorrow. It’s a guy who works for the basketball team. You game?”
I snort. “Pun intended?”
Fran tilts her head, and I see the exact moment the proverbial light bulb above her head goes off. She throws her head back. “Yeah, no. Pun not intended but great nonetheless.”
“Fine.” I hold back a sigh. “I’ll go out.”
“Great. I’ll give him your number so you can finalize all the details.”
Just fabulous. A date tomorrow is the last thing I want.
“Do you always do what your sisters want?”
Jabari’s question echoes in my head. Why do I always do everything Jackie and Fran ask of me? And more importantly, how can I stop? I don’t want them running my life, but somehow that’s exactly what I’ve allowed them to do.
Lord, what’s wrong with me that I keep saying yes to things I don’t want to do?
The more I think about all the times I’ve done stuff Jackie and Fran suggested, the more irritation permeates my soul. Am I a pushover? Does it stem from esteem issues? Or do I just take people pleasing to a disturbing level?
Lord, help me please.