Chapter 30
Val
Is it bad to smile before a date even begins? Because my lips refuse to stay in a straight line. From the moment Jabari stepped into the waiting room where all the girlfriends and wives were stashed, my heart has been fluttering on repeat.
It doesn’t help that he looks so attractive. His tailored black suit hints at the muscles underneath. The red, white, and blue tie has the Warriors symbol, and the little detail has me thinking back to the game.
Occasionally my gaze would find Jabari sitting in up in the box seats. Sometimes he sat silently and other times he talked to the others in the area. Through it all, he looked devastatingly handsome, and my inner teenage girl is in full swoon knowing we’re on a date.
As the driver takes us to an unknown destination, I allow the tumult of my emotions to go free. Anticipation wells in my heart. We’re on a date. Why does this feel so decadent?
Who cares. Take everything in.
I stare at Jabari’s profile. “Where are we going?”
“Don’t you want it to be a surprise?” A smirk tugs at his full lips.
“Hmm.” Do I? I’m not good at being surprised, but mostly because no one has ever surprised me in a good way. “Maybe?”
A deep chuckle falls, sounding like a delicious rumble. “You’ll like this surprise. Promise.”
“And if I don’t?” I ask, curiosity streaming through me.
“Then I’ll make it up to you any way you like.”
Where’s a fan when you need one? My heart drops to my feet, ready to wave a white flag of surrender. To the flirting. To the romance to come. To giving my heart to Jabari Hall.
But diving headfirst isn’t my MO, so I pick up my heart and remind it to behave.
I need to remain firmly in reality and not the rush of what could be.
Experiencing the hope of a good date is possible without losing my cool, right?
There’s balance in there somewhere—not exactly sure where, but I’m aiming for it.
“Did you enjoy the game?” he asks.
“I did. It always amazes me at how fast-paced hockey is. It’s no wonder all of you are so athletic.”
“There’s a skating rink that lets me come in early and skate before public access.”
“Really? That’s wonderful.” I hate how his coach barred him from skating, even when alone. “That reminds me. Fran sent me a video of a vision-impaired hockey commentator. The story is a little old but fascinating nonetheless.”
“Yeah?”
I nod, then give myself an inward slap. Did he even see that movement? “Yes. Want me to send it to you?”
“Please. Before my mom left, she told me my old hockey club has an outreach for children who are vision impaired. They teach them how to skate and play hockey.”
What a fantastic opportunity. I can only imagine the joy on those kids’ faces. “Is that something you’re interested in?”
He shrugs. “I’m thinking of all avenues. I don’t want to feel useless, and I’m thankful the Warriors are giving me a chance to participate in some way, but, yeah, I want more.” His voice trails off.
The longing in his voice is evident. For a moment, I wish those sentiments were directed toward me.
But it’s better if he’s searching for something meaningful and not relying on me to meet those expectations.
I’ve been in relationships where I do all the heavy lifting.
That’s not what I want, and even though Jabari doesn’t seem like the type, I’m still searching for his red flags.
I blink. Is that because of Jackie or my own fears?
Though I tend to move slowly in relationships, my mind has a tendency to race ahead.
Past experiences remind me how often I was left with the short end of the stick.
So maybe it’s a combo of the lingering effect of Jackie’s words and my own caution.
“I’m sure you’ll figure out the next steps. I’ve been praying for you.”
“Thanks, Val.” Jabari reaches for my hand, and I thread my fingers through his.
The sigh I tamp down at the connection is real and fills my chest with an ache.
What is it about this man that makes me want to go all in and just feel?
I’m not sure that’s something I often allow myself.
I’m always worried about what others are thinking and how to respond appropriately.
My own emotions take a backseat so often they don’t even show up to the party or bother crashing the gates when I need them.
I want to give myself permission to experience life.
Then do that. Enjoy the touch of his fingers, the warmth in his palm, the way your heart beats with expectation.
I might actually cry if this date doesn’t end in a good-night kiss. Then again, do I want to be the kind of girl who kisses a guy after one date? Wait, this is the second. Plus, if he’s the right guy . . .
My lips quirk up automatically once again.
“Sir, we’re here,” the driver announces.
I look out the window and frown. “An office building?” There’s a sign for a bank in the bottom window.
“It is, but it’s not. Trust me.” Jabari gets out and holds out his hand.
Since I very much want to know where he’s taking me, I allow him to help me out of the car, then follow him into the nondescript building. At least it doesn’t have danger written all over it.
“We’re going to the second floor,” he says.
Up ahead is an elevator, so I guide us in that direction and press the up arrow. When the doors open onto the second floor, I gasp. Somehow we’ve found an oasis in the middle of the city.
“What is this place?” I whisper.
“Le Pavillon. I hear it’s a plant lover’s dream.”
“It really is.”
My heart is filled with wonder as I stare at the lush greenery all around us.
Umbrella plants, plum yews, ferns, and other foliage enhance the beauty of the place.
I want to do a dance or even jump up and down squealing like that one Friends GIF.
Instead, I calmly follow the hostess and Jabari as we head into an alcove that has a table for two.
We’re secluded from other customers but situated in a way that allows me to stare at the plants to my heart’s content.
My gaze finds the man in front of me. “Thank you so much. This place is gorgeous.”
“I wanted to wow you on our first date, well, second.”
Heart. Melt. “Consider me wowed.”
“Yeah?” Jabari leans forward. “So wowed you’ll go on another date with me?”
He wants to go out again already? How does he know? Then I remember the words he seared into my heart.
“Val, you have to know how incredible you are. I don’t know how you expect me to spend time with you and not fall for you.”
He seemed sincere when voicing them, and despite my hesitation my brain automatically marked them as Never Forget. But now, sitting across from him, I’m actually starting to believe the truth because of his actions.
“Jabari . . .”
“I’m not trying to pressure you.” He sits back. “But I am trying to make sure you understand how much I like you.”
“I’m beginning to realize that,” I admit softly.
“Good.”
Our server comes and takes our drink order, leaving us time to peruse the menu.
The offerings are seafood centric—praise God!
I love seafood—and have fresh herbs and vegetables to complement the main centerpiece.
When the server returns, I order scallops and brussels sprouts.
Jabari goes for the beef. He may not be skating every day, but he’s still working out.
We talk about everything, and I do mean everything. I learn that his father was his mom’s college sweetheart. He didn’t want to be a dad, so he paid child support but never visited Jabari growing up, not even when he was drafted into the NHL.
“Did you expect him to call?” I ask. Isn’t that when most deadbeat dads make an entrance? When their kid makes it big?
“Actually, yes.”
I bite my lip. “Did it hurt that he didn’t?”
“In a way.” Jabari cocks his head. “But also there’s relief. Like I can respect him for that much. He’s consistently stayed out of my life.”
“Your mom must be amazing to have dealt with that while dealing with her own health.”
Jabari nods slowly. “You know, I don’t think I’ve always believed that.” His Adam’s apple bobs. “I’m actually ashamed that I never fully understood how hard she had it until well into adulthood.”
“Don’t be. You were a kid. Most kids are selfish until adulthood shows us how to care for others.”
He sighs. “I could’ve done a better job.”
“How? Because it sounds to me like you did everything you could to make it better for her. You’re a good son, Jabari. Don’t believe the lies.” Even now he’s looking out for her. I can only imagine how not having a normal childhood felt.
“Maybe.” He runs a hand down his face. “Or maybe I can do better.”
“True. We can always do better.” Look at how I handled things with Jackie. I should’ve told her the truth from the very beginning, regardless of the consequences.
“I want to.” He stares right at me. “I want to be a better person because I know you deserve the best.”
I blink rapidly, wondering where the sudden moisture in my eyes came from. Why is my throat so tight? This man keeps saying things that are a balm to my heart and a stimulant all at the same time.
“Wow, you’re really working for that next date.”
He laughs, and the tension eases.
Our conversation lightens after that, and when our dessert tray of cheese—yes, cheese.
You can’t go to a French restaurant and skip out on fromage—arrives my heart feels as decadent as all of the dairy before me.
By the time we get back in the car to return to my hotel, I’m in a I like him haze so fantastic I do the thing that comes naturally.
I lay my head on Jabari’s shoulder and let out a long, satisfied sigh. “Best date ever.”
“Agreed.” His arm curves around my shoulder, tugging me close. “I can’t wait to do that again.” He places a soft kiss against my hair.
I snuggle in deeper, thankful for some time away from DC and work.
Even though I thought coming up might cause bigger problems, I’m happy here in Jabari’s arms. My relationship with Jackie may not be in the place I hope for, but it’s not in a place where I have to walk around in darkness.
She knows how I feel about Jabari, and I know how she feels.
Somehow, the rest will work itself out. All I need to focus on is the person who has his arm wrapped around me.
“Wake me up when we get there.” I wrap my hand around his arm and close my eyes.
Jabari chuckles. “Are you really going to fall asleep on me?”
“Mm-hmm. Is that a problem?”
“Not at all.” His arm tightens. “Maybe this will be our future.”
My cheeks heat. I’m not sure what to say to that, but the comment is another mark in his favor. His actions are saying forever as much as his mouth claims to be in this for the long haul.
Yet in the back of my head, I hear Jackie’s voice. “You’re just a substitute for hockey.”
I want to swat the sentiment away like the untruth I believe it is, but a little part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop. Because this date, this night, feels perfect. How do I trust it’ll stay that way? That this haze I’m in will be there a month from now, a year, decades?
Don’t think about it right now. Worry about it later.
But I already feel some of the shine slipping away. Afraid of what it’ll show, I squeeze my eyes and pray I really do fall asleep.