Chapter 40
Val
I follow Jackie and Fran into Dad’s kitchen, then grunt as I ram into Fran’s back. I peek around my sister, and my jaw drops. Mom’s in the kitchen . . . with Ann.
“Is someone dying?” I whisper.
“Oh good, you’re here.” Mom smiles, and Jackie gets a hug from her.
Fran hangs back. I wrap an arm around her waist, knowing she’s probably remembering the last argument with our mom. If she can’t be loving toward Fran, then I’ll make sure Fran doesn’t feel isolated. I promised to stand by my baby sister no matter what happens during her pregnancy, and I meant it.
Dad walks into the kitchen, and the vibe immediately shifts. Mom straightens to her full height and eyes her ex-husband warily. He whispers to Ann, and she nods.
“What’s going on?” I ask. Because something’s up.
“We wanted to sit down with y’all and talk. Should we go to the living room?” Dad looks around at us.
By silent agreement, we head for the place where all of our family discussions have happened.
It’s like a ’90s Friday night special. All we need is TV parents who work hard to provide for us, love us, and guide us.
Of course this is reality, so we have imperfect parents, and a stepmom thrown into the mix.
Dad glances at Mom, then to Ann, who motions for him to speak. “We wanted to apologize.” His face flushes among the gasps from Jackie and Fran.
“Apologize for what?” What did he . . . Mom . . . they do?
“We haven’t treated you girls fairly.” Dad glances at Jackie. “Sweetheart, I love you. You’re my firstborn, but I’ve done you a disservice.”
“We,” Mom interjects.
“We,” Dad repeats, “have done you a disservice. It’s time for you to grow up. You’re on leave for a week while you work things out with Isaac.”
My mouth drops. What in the world is going on?
The spotlight shines on me as the parents look at me. “Val, we apologize for all the times we overlooked you. You’ve been our most even-keeled child, and so we focused on the squeaky wheels instead of giving you the attention you needed.”
“Are you calling me a squeaky wheel?” Jackie squeaks.
Dad and Mom ignore her and focus on our baby sister.
“And, Fran, perhaps we owe you the biggest apology. We shouldn’t have cast judgment or blame. Your pregnancy came as a shock, and we handled it badly.”
“Very badly.” A tear slides down Mom’s cheek. “We’re so sorry, baby girl.”
“Wait a minute,” Jackie interrupts. “So they get legitimate apologies, and I get reprimanded? Is that what I’m hearing?”
“Ann pointed out—
“Ann? What does she have to do with our family?” Jackie cuts Dad off.
I hide a wince at the crestfallen look on our stepmom’s face.
“She’s your stepmom, and you’ll treat her with the respect that deserves,” Mom says.
“Wait, seriously?” Fran says. “I thought you didn’t like Ann because Dad cheated on you with her.”
Ann gasps and clutches her chest. “I didn’t.”
Now all of us girls are staring in disbelief. “But, Mom . . .”
Dad glares at Mom.
“I didn’t dispute their assumptions.” She looks chagrined.
“Even though they’re false?” Dad asks.
“I was angry about the divorce.” She shrugs, and it’s like seeing the OG version of Jackie.
Yikes.
“So you didn’t cheat?” Jackie asks.
“No, I didn’t.”
“We’re sorry,” Fran, Jackie, and I apologize simultaneously. We’ve always been cordial to Ann, but we definitely could be a lot nicer to her. Guess that’s another blinder I have to remove.
“Fran, we just want you to know you have our support.”
She sniffles and lets out a watery “thank you.”
“I can’t believe this.” Jackie grabs her jacket and leaves the room without another word.
Though Jackie leaves, Dad suggests we have dinner anyway. It’s awkward the whole time, but I make an effort to draw Ann into the conversation, as does Fran. After good-bye hugs, Fran motions for us to leave. As soon as we get into the car, I turn to her.
“So how do you feel about everything?”
“Glad that they had a change a heart, but I can’t help but get stuck on how Jackie tried to hijack the conversation and how your apology was just a Band-Aid.
‘Sorry we overlooked you but moving on to the next child.’” Fran shakes her head.
“I’m sorry for being such a problem child that our folks couldn’t love you like you deserve. ”
Though I appreciate her apology, it’s totally unnecessary. I say so and add, “I’m truly okay. It’s enough they recognized the problem. Now I’m curious to see how that’ll change our interactions. Will they seek me out more or continue the status quo?”
Fran sighs. “I suppose there’s that.”
“Do you think Jackie will ever change?” I ask.
“Who knows. Do you know what’s going on with her and Isaac?”
“Just that Jackie agreed to go to counseling. Not sure if she really meant it for herself or just to get an A for effort.”
Fran snorts. “Definitely the A for effort. But I’ll pray it actually changes her. A lifetime of having everyone in the family bow down to you will be tough to transform overnight or in one week.”
So true.
Once home, Fran says good-night and heads to her room. As for me, the only person I want to talk to right now is Jabari. I quickly change into my pajamas, then call him. I lean against my throw pillows as the phone rings.
“Hey, Sunshine.”
The hurt in my chest lessens at the new nickname. “Hi.”
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
Tears spill over. Though I assured Fran I’m okay with my parents’ request for forgiveness, hearing Jabari’s concern makes me realize that I do have someone in my corner. Someone who sees me and knows me. God blessed me with a wonderful friend who then turned into the man who holds my heart.
“I am now.”
I tell my boyfriend—oh, I love saying that—about my folks’ regrets and the admission that Dad didn’t cheat. I even tell him Fran’s comments about my pity apology.
“Wow, Val. That’s a lot.”
“Right? I honestly don’t know how to feel. I mean, yay, they recognize Jackie’s spoiled. And Fran definitely deserved an apology.”
“But you feel ignored.”
I sigh. “Yeah.”
“Then don’t ignore a single feeling. God will help you work through them all.”
I never knew how much I needed my boyfriend to talk about God until now.
I wince. Dating Jabari before he fully believed in God probably wasn’t the wisest choice I’ve ever made.
I was so focused on being a good friend, then happy to be his girlfriend, that I never stopped to think of the potential spiritual ramifications.
Now hearing Jabari talk about the Lord so freely is freeing indeed. My soul has joy just from his encouragement and pointing me back to the One who knows every single thing I’m experiencing.
“Thank you. Thank you for reminding me.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Val. You’ve been pointing out the ways of faith since I met you. Being able to speak back into that is a privilege and an honor. But also, that’s what we’ll always do for each other.”
I don’t deserve Jabari, and I certainly don’t deserve God’s goodness.
Hearing my boyfriend talk about Who truly matters and knowing I entered into a relationship a little prematurely shows me just how gracious God is.
He could’ve chosen to let me live with the earthly consequences of dating a man who hadn’t surrendered fully to the Lord.
Instead, God saved Jabari. Saved our relationship.
Thank You so much. I’m so sorry I leaped before truly asking You if You wanted me to date Jabari. But I’m so thankful that Jabari saw how great You are through my offer of friendship and standing by his side.
I’m so glad my mistakes didn’t mess up God’s good plans. He wants my full surrender. He wants me to follow His will. But His plans won’t fail because I do. He never fails.
Somehow this can all be applied to my folks. I’m not exactly sure of all the intricacies, but remembering God is in control brings me peace. It lessens some of the feelings of heartache I felt at Dad’s house.
“I’m so glad God brought you into my life.”
“Are you? Because I was beginning to think I was a wrecking ball in your orderly world.”
I laugh. “No, you shook me up in all the best of ways. You’re one of the reasons I can be more myself.”
“Every time you say something like that, Val Elliott, I want to . . .” He sighs into the phone.
“Want to what?”
“Hold on to you forever.”
I smile. Somehow being with Jabari brings order to my chaotic world. The plates stop spinning, and I don’t have to worry about what will fall apart. I rest my head against my pillow and talk until my eyelids close.