Chapter Thirty-Three #2
They hadn’t really talked since the ordeal with Remington and Pierce—not even while she’d been resewing his wound. The idea that she might very well leave—if her absence from the inside of the house was any indication—was settling in his gut like a heavy stone.
She really didn’t have much reason to stay. She had come here as a refugee. They were meant to protect her in exchange for chores. Even the arranged marriage had been one of convenience, conventionality.
What was the point of it now? They didn’t live together like husband and wife. They didn’t share a room. They didn’t share anything except chores. Would she stay just to be their servant? Legally a Montgomery, in reality only an extra working body?
Now that the threats were gone, what could possibly keep her here?
Unless…
Cash exhaled sharply, dragging a hand over his face, exasperated and uncertain.
Does she feel the same way?
His body still hurt, but what hurt worse was the idea of her leaving.
Before now, he hadn’t let himself think too much about his feelings—what he felt, and how he’d feel after all of it was over.
He couldn’t afford to spend time thinking about all that, not when they’d been fighting to stay afloat this whole time.
The ranch had come first in a lot of ways.
But now that the day of freedom had come…
he knew he would give it all up for her.
He couldn’t ignore the truth.
They were all right.
I love her.
He loved everything about her. The way she stood tall even when she was scared.
She was brave. Braver than most men he’d encountered.
The way she put herself in danger to protect Samuel.
She wasn’t just a woman of her word, but a woman who loved strong and held onto compassion, despite the sacrifices she’d endured.
The way she fought, tooth and nail, against everything the world had thrown at her—it all was exactly what he never knew he needed.
She was nothing like Jane. She was so much more than he ever could have imagined.
The thought of her leaving, the thought of Samuel leaving, was as bad as being gutted.
“You’re gonna let her go, then?” Beau asked from behind him.
Cash turned around with a start. There was his older brother, leaning against one of the porch posts, arms crossed with a knowing look, one that made Cash grit his teeth.
“What do you mean?” he snapped irritably.
“You’re not gonna tell her how you feel? You’re gonna let her just walk on out of here?” Beau looked skeptical.
“She ain’t said she’s leaving,” Cash defended. He could only hope his scowl sent the obvious message. I’ll talk when I’m good and ready!
“She don’t have to.” Beau pushed off the post, stepping closer.
“You can see it plain as day. Girl’s got it in her head that her time here is done.
She’s just waiting for the right moment to pick up and go.
She probably thinks you want her out of here ‘cause you ain’t said otherwise and this was all just supposed to be an agreement to keep her safe. ”
Cash swallowed hard. “Maybe that’s what’s best,” he muttered. If she wanted to go… so be it.
Beau let out a dry laugh. “You don’t believe that for a second.”
Cash shrugged. Beau was right, but he didn’t want to say that out loud. He couldn’t.
Hank stepped out onto the porch too, wiping his hands on a rag, and immediately joined in. “If you want her to stay, you really oughtta say somethin’. Women ain’t mind-readers, you know.”
Cash shot him a glare. “You two done playin’ matchmaker?”
Hank shrugged. “Not tryin’ to matchmake, Just don’t wanna watch you mope around like a kicked dog for the next ten years because you let that girl go.”
Beau clapped him on the back. “Go on, now,” he laughed. “Before it’s too late.”
“At least if you talk about it, you’ll know, no matter where she goes,” Hank added. “Otherwise you’ll torture yourself half to death with questions. You wanna live with that kind of regret?”
Cash let out a slow breath and nodded.
They were right. He wasn’t even sure what was holding him back anymore. Heck, he’d even kissed her—and she’d kissed him right back. She clearly had some sort of feeling for him, too. His care wasn’t one-sided.
…Right?
He squared his shoulders and stepped off the porch, moving slower than he ever had, making a beeline for the corral where Josie was still brushing Ruby.
She looked up as he approached. Her expression was guarded, almost distant. Maybe she was already expecting a goodbye. That alone caused a lead weight to form in the pit of his stomach.
Awkwardly, she brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “Hey.” Her voice was soft. “How are you feeling?” She gestured to his leg as he limped into the corral and came up to her.
“Better.” He stopped a few feet away from the fence, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “You got a minute?”
She nodded. “We can be gone in a few days…” She trailed off, turning back to brush Ruby.
Cash exhaled, his heart pounding. “You leavin’?” It came out abruptly, almost brash.
Josie’s eyes flickered with something unreadable as she looked back at him. Then her eyes fell. “I… I…”
“That ain’t an answer,” he said gruffly.
She sighed and turned toward him, crossing her arms almost impatiently. “I came here because I had no choice. But now, Samuel and I… we can start fresh somewhere. I won’t be someone’s burden anymore.”
“Burden?” It came out rougher than he intended. All of this was coming out rougher. “Josie, you ain’t never been a burden. Not to me. Not to anyone.”
She let out a sad laugh. “You don’t have to say that.”
“I ain’t sayin’ it because I have to,” Cash snapped, a little harshly. The frustration was getting to him—not at her, but at himself, for ever making her feel like a burden. He took a deep breath. “I’m sayin’ it because it’s God’s honest truth.”
He took a step closer, his gaze locked on her big, gorgeous green eyes. “You and Samuel belong here. With us. With me.”
Josie swallowed hard, her lips parting slightly. “It wouldn’t make sense for me to stay here…”
He reached for her hand, threading his fingers through hers. “Josie, you’re my wife.”
She inhaled sharply, but she didn’t pull away. “We both know that isn’t quite true…”
For once in his life, he didn’t bother with careful words or half-measures. “Don’t go. It is true.”
Her eyes widened, but he pressed on before she could speak, quiet, pleading. “I know you don’t owe me anything. I know you got a life to live, and I ain’t got no right to ask you to stay. But dang it, Josie, I can’t picture this place without you. I can’t picture my life without you.”
Tears welled in her eyes, but she still didn’t speak, so he kept going, his voice rough with emotion. If he stopped now, he might not get it all out. “I love you. I should’ve said it before, but I was too scared. But I ain’t scared anymore. I love you, and I want you here, with me. Samuel, too.”
A tear slipped down Josie’s cheek, and she let out a choked laugh. “You sure took your time, cowboy.”
Cash’s heart nearly stopped as she launched herself at him, arms flying around his neck, pulling him close, and her lips suddenly pressed into his.
It was a kiss that stole his lungs. He pulled her tight to his chest, pouring every ounce of feeling into the kiss. She had to know, without a shadow of doubt, that she meant more than the world to him, that he had meant every word he’d said to her.
They finally pulled apart for breath, and she cupped his face tenderly. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt something so soft and wonderful on his skin. Her fingers trailed softly across his cheek.
She was radiant. Her smile was radiant. He smiled just looking at her, seeing tears drip down her face.
“I love you,” she gasped.
He smiled brighter, relief and joy flooding him, making him even weaker in the knees than before, breathless—absolutely breathless. He kissed her again, softer this time, savoring it, and her.
Then he pulled away and rested his forehead against hers, savoring that, too. The smell of her skin, the light flowery scent of her hair. Even out here in the Texas heat. Even working right next to a horse. She smelled wonderful.
He closed his eyes slightly, whispering words he wished he would have said a long time ago. “You’re home, Josie. If you want to be.”
She smiled, and this time, there was no hesitation. “I do.”
“I love you,” he said again. The words came out firmly this time.
Confident. No hesitation. “I’ve loved you longer than I think I even knew.
The fire in you. The fight in you. Ready to take on the world, even when everything was crumblin’ around you.
I don’t want you to go. I don’t want a life without you in it. ”
Her breath hitched, and for a moment, she just stared at him. Then, before he could second-guess himself and lose that confidence he’d suddenly gotten with her, she responded. “I was so scared to say it… scared you wouldn’t want me.”
“Never,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I want you more than anything, Josie.”
“You sure didn’t act like it,” she laughed.
He shook his head. “I’m not too good with emotions.”
She scoffed, drying her own tears. “Really? I never knew.” Pulling back, she looked up at him, her eyes glistening beneath long lashes. Then, with a small, shaky smile, she reached up and pressed her lips to his again.
He melted into her kiss. It was a promise.
A promise of a future.
A home for her.
And, for the first time, he was home, too.