Chapter Twenty-Nine
“Of all the—!” Seth yelled, punching the side of the boarding house as he refrained from cursing.
He still hadn’t found June. They’d looked all over town, checked in through some of the ranches around asking if they’d seen her. The boardinghouse was the last place left for them to search. She wasn’t anywhere else they’d looked.
Nothing.
He ran his hand over his face and groaned, frustrated. Three hours had dragged by already, and every single minute they spent looking was another minute they didn’t know where she was… and another minute he felt acid rising further up his throat.
It was starting to feel hopeless. Every road had led to nothing.
June was gone. Vanished.
Ada and Etta had been frantic when they’d first revealed that June was missing. Now, Seth felt just as frantic on the inside. He wished he could have reassured both Ada and Etta. He wished he could give them the comfort they needed. He needed it too.
But he didn’t have anything comforting to say.
His mind was consumed by thoughts of June. Her smile, her touch, the way she had been with him. And now it suddenly seemed far away—like she was already gone for good.
“I’ll tell her to get on back if I see her!” Louise promised.
Seth nodded, but his mind was reeling. “Thanks, Louise.”
Henry and Jack nodded to her as well, and then the three of them left the boardinghouse. Breath hissing between his teeth, Seth mounted Skip for what felt like the fortieth time that day.
“We should head back home; it’ll be dark soon,” he said the other two men mounted their horses.
“Maybe she’ll be home lookin’ for you by now,” Henry said, trying his best to be encouraging. “The girls are there waiting for her—they’d tell her we were looking for her.”
Seth admired him for it, but it didn’t make him feel any better at a time like this. Still, he shot Henry a half-smile and clicked his tongue at Skip.
“Maybe so,” he said, trying to sound hopeful in front of them. “Let’s get going.” He slapped his reins against Skip’s neck, and the three of them began riding out of town back to his ranch.
Please be there.
***
She wasn’t there. With a few somber goodbyes, Henry and Jack went home with their wives, promising to keep watch for any sign of June or Trey. Seth stood alone on the porch, was muttering under his breath angrily, as if being mad would somehow drown out some of the sadness and worry he felt.
The house was quiet. He hated that.
Wasn’t it funny? How he craved the quiet before her, and now he hated it?
The loneliness almost overtook him. He barely noticed his surroundings until he heard his name.
He knew that voice.
No, it couldn’t be.
He shot to his feet, staring across the yard.
There, standing just beyond the fence at the edge of the yard, was a woman, and not just any woman.
His woman. Her silhouette was unmistakable, even from this distance.
June.
His heart pounded in his chest as he moved quickly off the porch—into the field—until he was in a full-on sprint running toward her. He didn’t think, didn’t hesitate. He just moved, before his mind could even catch up.
She was there. She was real. It’s her. It has to be.
Seth ran faster, his legs pumping, the world blurring around him—nothing mattered except him and her. The closer he got, the clearer she was. And the more worried he became.
Her shoulders were tense. She wasn’t looking at him the way she always had before. She wasn’t running to him, her arms weren’t open. She was frozen and seemed closed off.
Something wasn’t right.
Seth slowed to a soft jog, his hands trembling already. Something was wrong. He stopped a few feet away. His breath was shallow, and his chest heaved as if he’d ran for miles. “June?” His voice cracked with emotion he spoke her name.
Something was definitely wrong. June didn’t reply to him. Her eyes were red, swollen, and her cheeks were flushed. She was bruised. Her face. Her arms. And the way she stood was rigid. Icy.
It felt like something had just been ripped out of his chest. “What’s happened to your face?”
He moved toward her, hoping to embrace her over the fence, but she held her hand out to stop him, as if she was warning him.
He halted, his face scrunching in confusion. “June, what’s wrong?” he repeated, but for a long moment, she didn’t respond. She just stood there, her eyes looking everywhere except at him.
It was then that a chill settled over him.
What happened? It felt like all the warm air had faded away.
Finally, June’s lips parted, and her voice came out—but it was quiet and hesitant. Nothing like her. “Seth, I…” She trailed off, as if the words had gotten caught somewhere in her throat.
He could feel his heart beating so hard that it thudded painfully against his ribs. He took another step forward, pressing himself against the fence, only for her to take a step away from it.
His brows furrowed in confusion. “June, what in the world is wrong?” he said, this time a little more sternly. He was getting frustrated. “What’s going on? Where have you been? We’ve been looking everywhere for you all day. You disappeared—and I—I thought…”
His voice cracked again, and he had to stop, had to force himself to steady his breathing and calm himself. The more he talked, the more June seemed to hesitate, to look away from his gaze.
“I thought you were gone. I thought I lost you.” He wasn’t sure he had ever felt this much emotion stirring inside of him. He felt weak.
June still didn’t meet his gaze. Her eyes were focused on something in the distance, somewhere beyond him.
“Why can’t you look me in the eye?” he growled, his fists balled in anger.
Her posture was tense, guarded, like she was preparing for something. Like she was scared—of him?
“I never loved you,” she said suddenly, with a trembling breath.
Seth’s mind stalled. “What?” he whispered—just barely. “What did you say?”
“I never loved you,” she repeated, and it cut into him sharper than any ax or blade. “This was all a ploy. A lie. I thought I should tell you, now that I’m leaving town.”
Seth’s chest tightened. He could barely breathe. The air in his lungs felt like it had turned to stone, and he felt heavy and breathless.
A lie? She had lied to him? All this time? It was all… just a lie?
His hands clenched into fists at his sides. “No.” He shook his head. “You’re lying. You’re—you’re lying!” His voice rose, and it became almost desperate. He cursed himself for appearing weak, but he couldn’t bring himself to believe her.
It made no sense!
June’s eyes finally fell back on him. There was no warmth in them. Those beautiful chestnut eyes had completely changed. They were hollow. Empty. She looked at him like he was a stranger.
Her jaw clenched and her eyes had dried. She was no longer tearful.
“I never loved you,” she repeated, her voice firmer this time.
“I just needed temporary shelter. I needed a way to get things back to Trey to fulfill my promise to him. I offered him money a long time ago to let the other two girls go. They don’t know, but that was always the plan.
I was going to use you to get close enough to get my hands on what I needed in town. That’s all this ever was.”
Seth felt like the ground beneath him had just crumbled. His legs threatened to give out from under him as the weight of her words hit him with the force of a sledgehammer.
It still didn’t make sense.
This can’t be real. She can’t be saying this. It’s not real.
“Why?” he choked out, his voice barely more than a whisper. He felt numb. “Why the last few days, then?”
Why wouldn’t she have kept herself at a distance if she truly didn’t have any feelings for him, if she was leaving anyway? Why let him go find Trey at all? Why bother even telling him and the others about Trey in the first place?
It isn’t true.
“Did he do this to you?” Seth yelled, desperate to find out the truth. “What did he do to you?”
June didn’t respond right away. She just took a deep breath, and shook her head. “Suzanna bucked me off.”
That’s another lie.
But when she spoke again, her voice had an edge of finality to it, like she had made up her mind and there was no turning back. “Look, I’m telling you the truth now. You deserve it. I needed to find Trey in town and I needed you to leave long enough so that I could.”
She cleared her throat. “I’m sor-sorry.” She started to stumble, and Seth couldn’t help but look at her even more desperately, waiting for her to break—for her to crack under the pressure of the lies.
But she didn’t. “This is over. Don’t look for me.” She turned on her heel and marched away from the fence, heading down to the main road.
Where is Suzanna? “Where’s my horse?” he called out, angrily. It didn’t make sense that June wouldn’t ride her back—or at least lead her back. Something was still not adding up.
June stopped, and he watched as her shoulders rose up and fell dramatically. She was taking a deep breath, as if to steady herself.
She wasn’t telling the truth. She couldn’t be.
“She’ll be back,” she called quietly over her shoulder.
How could he believe that? How could he believe anything she said?
“June…” His voice cracked again, the anger simmering back to a desperate plea as his heart shattered in a thousand pieces. “Please… please don’t go. I love you. I—”
“I’m sorry,” she interrupted, but she didn’t turn around. There was no warmth to her apology. No tenderness. Her footsteps were slow at first.
“It’s almost dark!” he called. “Where do you think you’re going?”
She looked over her shoulder, but he couldn’t see her face. “Trey will find me on my way back. Don’t follow,” she said, still with no emotion. “Oh—and tell Henry to let Turner out of jail. He had nothing to do with the fire. It was Trey.”
Seth stood frozen in place, his legs weak under his weight. His knees shook as adrenaline wracked through his body. His arms trembled at his sides. His breath came in more short, shallow gasps.
Something had splintered deep in his chest.
He kept expecting her to turn back around, but she didn’t.
He didn’t even know how long he stood there, staring at her until she disappeared down the road. The sun was already down before he finally turned back to his house.
Free Turner?
It didn’t make sense. Nothing about her words made sense. But he couldn’t seem to think properly anymore.
He felt too broken to even process it, too devastated by everything that had just been said. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. He could barely drag his feet back to his porch.
The woman he loved—the woman he thought had loved him—had just left him behind.