Chapter 27
twenty-seven
“I don’t even know you anymore.”
Hurt flashes in his eyes before it’s quickly replaced with resolve. “What better way to get to know me again than to date me?”
My gaze flicks from watching the boats on the lake back to his face. “Fake date.”
Rowan shrugs. “Tomato, tomahto.”
I’m not sure if it’s the sun beating down on me through the tinted glass, or the way he’s looking at me with a hopeful spark in his eyes, but I find myself slowly starting to cave.
What he’s proposing is beyond nuts. Out of all the romance books I’ve read, this is the last trope I’d ever thought I would be a part of in real life.
“There has to be some sort of catch,” I say, narrowing my eyes at him. “Something you’re not telling me.”
Rowan leans back in his chair. “Look. I know this is crazy, but I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t desperate.”
“Desperate, huh? Ease up on the flattery there, bud.”
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.
” His voice drops, taking on a roughness that has always made my insides turn to jelly.
“This isn’t just about my career. It’s about proving to myself I can be more than just the guy in front of the camera.
I want to prove myself from behind the camera too. ”
I take another bite, trying to buy myself more time.
The truth is, part of me—a bigger part than I’m comfortable admitting—wants to say yes.
Not just to help him out, but because despite it all, I’m curious.
Curious about who he’s become. Curious if there’s still something between us worth salvaging. Even if it is just friendship.
“And this... arrangement. It’ll be… exclusive?” I ask. “Are you going to see other people during our little deal?”
Something along the lines of possessiveness flashes in his eyes before he carefully schools his expression. “No.”
“So I’m just supposed to put my sex life on hold for a year?” I throw out.
“Are you seeing someone?” he growls.
My gaze catches on the featherlight ticking of his jaw.
Is he… jealous?
Slowly, he sits up and looks me dead in the eye. “Well? Are you?”
Gah! He’s so bossy.
I have half a mind to fuck with him, tell him I prefer playing the field, but the fire in his eyes has me not only rethinking that option, but my panties getting wet. Now all I can think about is how he kissed me last night and how much I want him to do it again.
“Lizzy.”
His gruff voice jerks me out of my sexual haze.
“No. No, I’m not seeing anyone.”
Triumph flashes in his eyes before he relaxes back against his chair and smirks. “Good.”
There he is. Actor and playboy extraordinaire. And damned if that look doesn’t make my clit pulse.
I take another sip of my beer trying to trample the heat suddenly coursing through my veins. “Still doesn’t mean I want to put my life on hold for that long.”
“It’s not like you’d be locked away in a tower,” Rowan says, shaking his head. “You’d still have your work, your friends. You’d be living your normal life.”
“Living a lie, you mean.”
His eyes darken as he bites out, “Is it really a lie if there’s still something real backing it up?”
My heart stutters in my chest. Damn him. Even after all these years, he knows exactly what to say to get under my skin.
“And what happens if I meet someone I actually like?” I bite back.
A muscle in his jaw twitches. “Then we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”
I stab a French fry into the mound of ketchup on my plate. “You’ve got this all figured out, don’t you?”
“Not even close,” he admits with a sigh. “Look, I get it. It’s asking a lot. But it’s not like we’re complete strangers. We have history.”
“Ancient history.”
“Not that ancient.” His voice drops to that low rumble that makes my toes curl. “Some things you don’t forget, no matter how much time has passed.”
Images flash through my mind—his hands on my body, his lips on mine, his voice whispering my name. I force myself to push the memories away.
“So what happens if I say no?” I ask, meeting his gaze dead-on.
“Then I’ll respect your decision and find someone else.” He shrugs, but I can see the tension in his shoulders. “Though my agent will probably have a heart attack.”
I study him for a moment, taking in the slight shadows under his eyes and the hopeful look on his face. Despite everything he’s put me through, I find myself wavering again.
“One condition,” I say, making my decision. “If I do this—and that’s still a big if—we need to set clear boundaries.”
His face lights up like a kid on Christmas morning. “I’m listening.”
“First, I need to be able to tell Sasha and the girls the whole truth. They’ll know something’s up anyway.” I hold up a hand when he starts to protest. “They can sign NDAs too if it makes your agent feel better.”
Rowan nods slowly. “Okay. That’s fair.”
“Second, we need a safe word.”
His eyebrows shoot up, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. “Did you go and turn kinky on me while I was away, Sunshine?”
“Not like that, you idiot.” I roll my eyes, fighting a smile. “I mean a word that either of us can say if things get too intense or uncomfortable. Like... if I’m feeling overwhelmed or whatever.”
“Sounds good. What did you have in mind?”
I think for a moment, searching for a word that would be easy to remember.
“Treehouse,” I say finally. “If either of us says ‘treehouse,’ we both know it means it’s time to take a step back.”
A shadow passes over his face before he nods. “Treehouse it is.”
“Third,” I continue, ticking off on my fingers, “this is temporary. When it’s over, it’s over. No trying to extend or renegotiate.”
A look I don’t recognize flashes in his eyes before it’s gone. “Agreed,” he says.
“And finally...” I take a deep breath, knowing this is the most important boundary of all. “No falling in love. Either of us. This is business, not pleasure.”
Rowan stares at me for a long moment, his expression unreadable. Then he reaches across the table, offering me his hand.
“Deal.” His voice is steady despite the storm I can see brewing behind his eyes.
I hesitate for just a second before placing my hand in his. His palm is warm and rough against mine, fingers curling around my hand with gentle pressure. An electric current shoots up my arm, and I have to force myself not to yank my hand away.
“Deal,” I echo, trying to ignore the way my heart is pounding.
“You sure you don’t want to discuss an amendment?”
The warmth of his hand, along with the look in his eye, sets my blood on fire. “What sort of amendment?”
His hand tightens a fraction. Almost as if he knows what he’s going to say next will probably cause me to bolt.
“Six months to a year is a long time to go without.”
“Without what?” I have a feeling I know exactly what we’ll both be without.
My heart rate kicks up a notch when he cocks his head at me. “Don’t play dumb, Iz. You know exactly what.”
He holds my hand a beat longer than necessary before letting go, and I immediately miss the warmth of his touch.
Getting into dangerous territory, Lizzy.
“We talkin’ sex here, Hollywood?”
His lips quirk into a smirk that sends heat straight to my core, and I nearly choke on my beer. “Are you seriously suggesting we add benefits into the mix?”
“Why not?” His voice drops an octave, sending shivers down my spine. “We’ve got chemistry, Lizzy. Always have. And last night proved it’s still there.”
“Last night was...” I struggle to find the right words. “A momentary lapse in judgment.”
“Was it, though?” Rowan leans in, lowering his voice. “Because it felt pretty damn real to me.”
My heart hammers against my ribs. I can’t deny the pull between us—it’s like gravity, an invisible force that’s always drawn me to him no matter how hard I’ve tried to resist for as long as I can remember.
“Rowan, I—”
“Look, I’m not saying we have to decide anything right now,” he cuts in. “It’s just something to consider. Because pretending to be together while fighting what we both clearly want? That’s going to get painful real quick.”
I take a deep breath and glance out the window. A speedboat is quickly making its way across the lake, causing a couple of sailboats to rock in the waves it leaves in its wake. “Let me think about it.”
“Fair enough.” He signals for the check. “No pressure. But for what it’s worth, I’ve really missed you, Izzy.”