Chapter 21
twenty-one
Storming down the hall, I slam my office door behind me so hard that the framed family photo from last Christmas rattles against the wall.
“Fuck,” I mumble, dropping into my chair. It creaks under my weight as I lean back, scrubbing my hands over my face.
What the hell is wrong with me?
I cringe, thinking about how Reyna’s eyes dimmed when I called her EMT Winters. How she flinched when I said she was nothing but a new recruit.
Because she’s not. She’s so much more.
From the moment I first saw her, I haven’t been able to get her out of my head. No other woman appeals to me in the slightest. Not since her.
Shoving away from my desk, I start to pace. Boots thudding against the floor, each step punctuates the litany of self-loathing running through my head.
In my attempt to distance myself, I ended up treating her as if she’s just a random name on the roster.
Like she didn’t spend an entire weekend beneath me, screaming my name.
Like she didn’t make me laugh harder than I had in I don’t know how long.
Like she didn’t look at me like I was something… more.
I glance out the window. Dave is pointing at something inside the ambulance as they stand near the open drivers side door. Even from here, I can see how her jeans hug her thighs and spectacular ass. How her T-shirt clings to her upper body, accentuating her perfect tits and small waist.
The sudden urge to march down there, toss her over my shoulder, march her less than one hundred feet over to my apartment and into my bedroom takes me by surprise.
Forcing myself to turn away before I do something stupid, I drop back into my chair, spinning to face the wall.
I’m jealous.
Jealous Brex gets to work with her.
You did it to yourself, idiot.
The way he was looking at her—eyes tracking her every move—was a reminder that he gets to flirt with her, touch her.
And finally, when she’d answered me with a “Yes, sir,” my dick stiffened instantly.
Which was one of the many reasons I had to hightail it out of the room before either of them saw the bulge in my pants.
I don’t know how long I’m going to be able to stay away from her. Being on opposite shifts doesn’t mean I won’t see her. We do weekly individual check in’s with each member of the crew. Which means at least once a week I’ll be alone with her in my office.
Just the thought makes my blood run hot.
Get a freaking grip.
Last week I was hanging out with Lizzy on her and Rowan’s new back porch next to the pool, drinking a beer while Rowan grilled burgers. The sun was setting over the lake, painting everything in shades of orange and gold, and I felt the sudden need to bring up my feelings about working with Reyna.
“So, Reyna’s starting at the station next week,” I say casually, taking a sip of my beer.
“I know,” my sister smirks. “You good?”
“Yeah,” I shrug, trying to play it cool. “She’s more than qualified. She’ll be a great asset to the team.”
Lizzy rolls her eyes so hard I’m surprised they don’t pop out of the back of her head. “Don’t give me that bullshit, brother. I know you’ve been hung up on her since you two hooked up in Vancouver.”
“I’m not—”
“Don’t even,” she huffs, cutting me off with a wave of her hand. “You barely even look at other women anymore.”
“Not true,” I mutter.
“Logan,” Lizzy sighs, her expression softening. “You need to talk to her about what happened. About why she left.”
“Not a good idea , Iz.”
“I know you more than like her.”
I shake my head and stare out at the water. “It doesn’t matter how I feel. She’s my employee now.”
“Since when has that stopped you?” Lizzy laughs, quirking an eyebrow. “You always go after what you want.”
“Not this time.” I take another long draw of my beer. “This is different.”
She studies me for a moment before her expression shifts into something more serious. “Because you actually care about her.”
I don’t respond. Can’t. Because the truth in her words hits me square in the chest.
“Logan,” she says softly, reaching over to squeeze my arm. “Don’t let fear hold you back. Not again.”
“It’s not like I can go sneaking around with her. It’s not a good idea for someone in my position to get involved with someone in hers.”
“Look. I think you should go for it. A blind person could see how you look at her. But let me tell you this… If you try shooting your shot again and you get scared, change your mind and hurt her? You’ll no longer be my brother…
” She leans in close, narrowing her eyes in the way she does to get her point across. “…you’ll be my new sister. Capiche?”
I shoot a glare at Rowan, who’s currently doubled over in laughter, flipping burgers on the grill.
Asshole.
“Jesus, Izzy,” I wince. “First of all, it’s ‘visually challenged.’ And second? A little harsh, threatening castration, don’t you think?”
“Not when it comes to my friends.”
“Yeah, well. Don’t worry. Because it’s not going to happen.”
The memory fades when someone knocks on my office door.
“Enter,” I call, straightening in my chair.
Dave pokes his head in. “Sir, just wanted to let you know that Reyna is all settled. We’ve gone over the more extensive protocols, and now she’s getting familiar with our ambulance equipment.”
“Good,” I nod. Keeping my expression neutral, I wave him in as I pull up the schedule on my computer. “How’s she doing?”
“Honestly? A little nervous. But she’s sharp. Picked up on everything I showed her right away.”
“Nerves are to be expected.” I glance up from the screen, pinning him with a stern look. “I expect a full report on her performance at the end of the week. ”
Dave studies me for a moment before nodding. “Of course. I’ll keep an eye on her. Make sure she’s comfortable.”
“Thanks.” I turn back to my computer, hoping he’ll take the hint.
He does, closing the door quietly behind him.
Alone again, my mind refuses to stray from Reyna. I need to figure out how to handle this situation without making things worse. Without letting my feelings for her interfere with the job.
Seeing her—even if it’s just in passing—is going to be a challenge. Every time she’s near me, my body reacts like I’ve been hit with a defibrillator. Heart racing. Breath catching. Skin tingling.
A serious mind fuck, for sure.
I need to figure out a way to redirect my focus. Something that doesn’t involve ice-blue eyes and angelic blonde hair. Or the memory of her long, toned legs wrapped around my head.