Chapter 6
SAWYER
BY THE TIME we pulled up to the main lodge a couple of hours later, I’d officially gone from this is the best idea I’ve ever had to what the hell have I done.
Somewhere between leaving the city and here, I’d actually started to believe this might work.
Well, probably around the time I’d accidentally turned on a clip from my own radio show and wanted to drive straight into the river from embarrassment, only for Beckett to turn it into an easy back-and-forth that had me talking and laughing more than I had in weeks.
And then I’d given him the private radio show he’d asked for, which, for once, didn’t include the bitter version of me that had taken over lately. It was unnerving, the way he met me where I was so easily…with only a light bit of teasing, which I totally deserved.
I didn’t know how he could be so calm walking into a situation like this. I was a nervous wreck, and I knew all the players.
The large, rustic port cochere was lit up with warm lights and fall foliage, and as I drove beneath it and put the car in park, I took one look at the entrance and began to sweat.
God, maybe it was wishful thinking that this week would go well. That Beckett and I could pull off faking it as a couple. Maybe I should’ve stayed home, hidden away in my apartment instead of showing my face.
My hands were shaking as a valet started in our direction, and I swallowed hard.
“Okay,” I said, reaching for my keys. “So just to recap, we’re going to go get checked in, say super-quick hellos, very chill, no pressure—”
“Sawyer.”
When I didn’t answer, Beckett laid his hand on my wrist and gently pried my keys away, since apparently I was doing a shit job at getting it off.
The keys. Getting the keys off.
God.
“Breathe with me,” he said as he easily worked the fob away and then lifted his eyes to mine. It would be too easy to get lost in those eyes, so blue and calm and focused, like nothing rattled him.
The valet tapped on my window, but Beckett lifted a finger, never breaking our connection, taking a deep breath in, holding it for a few seconds, then exhaling.
And repeat. I found myself following his lead, because the alternative was gunning it back to the city, and that would have everyone talking more than walking in with “my new boyfriend” would right now.
Boyfriend… Beckett is my boyfriend. Boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend.
“You good?” he asked.
I managed to nod. “I think we’ve avoided a panic attack for now.”
“Good.” He stroked my fingers with his thumb, a reassuring gesture, but it did the opposite, jolting me like there was a current of electricity flowing from his fingertips into mine.
I hadn’t even realized he was touching me, which was exactly why staring into his hypnotic eyes was a dangerous thing. They made you wanna fall into them.
Not fair. Not fair at all.
He noticed the way my hands instinctively jerked away from his and arched a brow.
“You plan to freak out when I reach for your hand tonight?”
“No, of course not.”
“Maybe we should have a code word.”
“For when you want to hold my hand?”
He gave the hint of a smile. “Any time you’re feeling overwhelmed and need to get away, you say the word and I’ll get us out of there.”
A code word… Yeah, that sounded like a good idea. Smart.
“I like it,” I said. “What word?”
“You tell me. It’s your escape plan.”
“Hmm.” I glanced around the car, looking for something that might work. Something I wouldn’t normally say but could fit into conversation if it had to.
But as I met Beckett’s gaze again, it became obvious what it should be. The one thing that already seemed to be able to steady me when I began to spiral.
“Cobalt,” I said.
He nodded once. “Done.”
I was relieved he didn’t ask why. That would’ve been too awkward to explain, and there was no way I was up for more mortification.
I unbuckled my seatbelt and hesitated. “Too soon to say it now?”
“Let’s at least get inside first.”
“Right. Yes, good plan.” Another deep breath and I popped open the door, making a quick apology to the valet before handing over the key fob.
The mountain air was crisp and cool—and silent. Waaay too silent. It was more than a little unnerving not to hear the hum of a city in the background, all the sirens and horns and construction that went on at all hours of the day.
Apparently this was what relaxation meant. Who knew?
“We’ll make sure your bags are in your cabin when you arrive, Mr. Montgomery,” the valet said, unloading the trunk and giving me nothing to do with my hands.
Shit.
But as the lodge doors swung open to greet us, Beckett held his hand out toward me like a lifeline.
I took it, but only after admiring once again how damn good he looked. Navy pants that fit him like a glove and showed off muscular thighs. A lightweight cashmere sweater that looked soft enough to snuggle into. Beckett was…wow. He was wow.
Hopefully I didn’t introduce him as “wow.”
His large hand enveloped mine, warm and strong, and God help me, it set off the butterflies in my stomach in a way that had nothing to do with my anxiety over the situation we were walking into.
Nope. This was something else entirely, but I was absolutely not going to think about that right now.
Beckett brushed his thumb against my knuckles like it was the most natural thing in the world and led me inside. Immediately I was hit with warm, low ambient lighting, the crackle of a massive stone fireplace, and—
Oh. Oh no.
Was there a pre-welcome-party invite I’d missed? Because why was my entire family congregated in the seating area off the lobby, drinks in hand and several animated conversations happening at once?
“Sawyer! Honey, over here,” Mama called out, her wild red-and-silver-streaked curls falling over her shoulder as she and Mom rose from one of the couches and started toward us.
“Hey,” I said as we crossed the lounge to meet them halfway. “We made it.”
I didn’t know if it was the fact that I’d said “we” or that Beckett was just so damn handsome you couldn’t look anywhere else, but their steps faltered as they both looked down at where I still held his hand tightly…then slowly back up to the two of us.
I’d mentioned bringing someone, but we hadn’t exactly had time to get into who, and it was evident by the surprise on both their faces that they hadn’t expected me to be holding someone’s hand.
My brothers had also apparently caught on, because the steady conversation we’d walked in on was now dead silent, but I didn’t bother glancing their way to see their reactions…yet.
I greeted my parents with a big one-armed hug, refusing to let go of Beckett’s hand because…well, I needed it. Especially if I looked past them and saw Peter hanging out, shooting the shit.
“Have a good drive up?” Mom asked, kissing my cheek.
“Not bad at all. I prefer it over the drive to the Hamptons.”
“Only because traffic actually moves.” She smiled and lifted my chin, her dark eyes, the same color as her short hair, assessing me quickly. Whatever she saw there had a line forming between her brows. “You okay, love? Tired?”
“I’m fine,” I said. “Totally fine. Great, actually.”
Beckett gave me a reassuring squeeze, and just like that, their eyes shifted to the man beside me.
And past them, Hudson straightened from where he’d been leaning against Drew’s chair, while Rome, who’d been draped across the couch like he was in a photoshoot, sat up slowly.
All eyes on us. This wasn’t awkward at all.
“Right,” I said, because there was no easing into this now. “So, um, everyone, this is—” My words got stuck in my throat. I wasn’t sure whether I was going to say his name or “my boyfriend,” and I just stood there for a second, short-circuiting until he came to my aid.
“I’m Beckett,” he said smoothly, holding out his free hand to Mom first. “It’s nice to meet you.”
And just like that, I could breathe again. Because of course he had this.
“Beckett,” Mom repeated, already smiling. “Well, we’re very happy to meet you too.”
“Yes, we are,” Mama added, though her eyes were as sharp as ever as they flicked between our joined hands and back up to his face. “Very happy.”
And that translated from mom-speak as: Explain yourself immediately.
“And Beckett is…?” Hudson asked, strolling in our direction, hands in his pants pockets and still wearing a tie even though he was hours away from the office.
As my fingers tightened slightly on Beckett’s, I tried for a calm expression like the one he wore.
“He’s my boyfriend,” I said.
Fuck. There it was, out in the open. No take-backs.
The reaction was immediate.
Over on the couch, Rome’s brows shot up and a slow grin spread across his face, like he’d just found his favorite form of entertainment for the week.
Drew was looking between all of us with an “I’m not saying shit” expression on his face, though he’d need help picking his jaw up off the ground later.
And Hudson?
He was staring at me with narrowed eyes, clearly not buying it for a second.
My moms, on the other hand? Oh boy.
“Your boyfriend?” Mama repeated.
“Yes,” I said, because if I was going down, I was going down confidently, dammit. “My boyfriend, Beckett—” I snapped my mouth shut, realizing I didn’t know my fake boyfriend’s last name. It was fine. Minor details and all.
The seconds ticked by as they all processed what was happening—and probably how to respond without offending my “boyfriend.”
But Beckett turned on the charm. “Happy anniversary to you both. Thank you for letting me be a part of such a special time for you.”
“Oh.” Mom was the first to break the ice. “We like him already.”
“We do,” Mama agreed. “Very much.”
Of course they did. Because he was standing there looking like that, holding my hand, and spouting niceties they were eating up with a spoon.
He was perfect.
Beckett’s thumb brushed over mine again, and I looked up, letting a small smile slip through.
We had this. Well, he had this. I was just along for the ride.
“Okay, I’m sorry, I need a second,” Rome said, pushing off the couch and heading toward us with entirely too much enthusiasm. I shot him an annoyed look, and he smirked. “What? You show up with him and expect me not to have questions?”
“Can you save it for another time after I’ve unpacked, showered, and have a glass of wine in my hand? Thanks so much.”
“Oh, I will,” he said, far too cheerfully, a gleam in his eyes. “Sooo many questions.”
“Can’t wait.”
Hudson finally stepped forward, his gaze fixed on Beckett, measured and quiet.
“Beckett,” he said.
“Hudson. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
My brother opened his mouth, and I could practically hear the words that would come out, his telling Beckett he’d never heard a thing about him. Thank God Drew came to the rescue then, curling his arm around Hudson’s waist as he pulled him to his side and held his hand out to Beckett.
“His tie’s a little tight, don’t mind him,” he said. “I’m Drew, Hudson’s better half.”
“Questionable,” Hudson muttered, but that only had Drew grinning wider.
Beckett was unflappable, looking totally at ease and like he belonged there.
Like he belonged with me.
His hand hadn’t left mine since we’d arrived, and thank fuck for that, because all of a sudden I heard the lodge doors open again, and the vibe in the room shifted—and not in a good way.
I didn’t need to turn around to know why.
Peter had arrived.