Chapter 15
SAWYER
SEEING MY brOTHERS giving Beckett the third degree had me panicking for all of two seconds before I realized there was no need. No one was calmer under pressure than the man I’d chosen to spend the week with, and he wouldn’t divulge anything that would put either of us in a bad light.
Like the fact that I was paying him to be my boyfriend. Not exactly something we wanted out there.
“I owe you a dance, huh?” Beckett said, his fingers tightening on mine as I tugged him through the crowd, weaving us through the glow sticks and neon and nineties fashion.
“Yes. You do. I saved you from my brothers.” I grinned at him over my shoulder. “That’s basically a heroic act.”
“Pretty sure I handled myself.”
“Oh, you did. But now we’re even.”
“For?”
I turned around, stopping us in the center of the dance floor. “You pulled me out of Peter’s orbit earlier. I pulled you out of a full interrogation. Feels fair.”
Beckett nodded, and while he should’ve looked ludicrous in that vintage tracksuit, he was so good looking that he pulled it off. Could pull off anything, apparently.
“Yeah,” he said, finally. “I’ll take that.”
The music changed into something faster, the bass heavy and impossible to ignore, and I didn’t give myself time to overthink it. I started to move to the beat and pointed at him. “All right, let’s see what you’ve got.”
His response was to roll his shoulders, like he was actually preparing, and I barked out a laugh.
“Oh my God, are you stretching? This is not that serious.”
“It’s very serious,” he said, completely straight-faced. “We promised Running Man.”
“We did.” Since he was making a show of stretching, I did the same, extending my hands up overhead and leaning from side to side. Then I shook my body out and said, “Okay. Show me.”
I didn’t really think he’d do it, so when he busted out the move, my jaw hit the floor.
Maybe because he was so cool, calm, and collected all the time, I just hadn’t been able to picture him letting loose, but there he was, in the middle of the party, doing a better Running Man than I could.
I could only stare at him before shaking my head. “No. Absolutely not. You don’t get to be good at this too.”
“Told you I could be enticed.”
“Well, shit. Now I’ve gotta up my game,” I said, matching his moves and increasing the energy, because if I was going to embarrass myself, I was going to do it properly.
I couldn’t help but laugh as we danced, watching the way Beckett’s hair flopped over his forehead with every bounce. His entire face seemed to transform as we spurred each other on, and just like that, the last few weeks of complicated heaviness melted away.
It was impossible to have anything but fun when you were acting a fool to “Gonna Make You Sweat.” It was real, stupid, uninhibited fun, the kind I hadn’t realized I’d been missing until it was right there, pulling me in and dragging Beckett along with it whether he wanted to or not.
“Wait, wait, wait,” I said. “What about this one?”
I switched to something I thought vaguely resembled a move I’d seen before, and Beckett raised a brow.
“Is that supposed to be the Roger Rabbit?”
“That’s the one,” I said, snapping. “Is this not how you do it?”
“I think it’s more like a backward Running Man.” He pulled his arms up by his sides and began to skip backward, somehow not knocking into anyone, because the man was perfect.
The dance was ridiculous.
The dance in that damn tracksuit, though, was taking me out.
And speaking of taking me out, Beckett stopped suddenly, reaching for the suspender I’d left loose and hanging. He pulled it over my shoulder and buckled it, blue eyes twinkling as he grinned at me.
“This was flailing around, trying to knock you unconscious,” he said.
“Sure. You just wanna cover me up, don’t ya?”
“Trust me, I don’t.” The words were out of his mouth before he seemed to realize it, and when he didn’t move away immediately, I felt it: that spark between us, the one I couldn’t be imagining…right? It wasn’t just a one-sided thing. Couldn’t be.
He stepped back—or should I say Roger Rabbited back—but his eyes never left mine. God, it was so easy to fall into them, and tonight they were even lighter than usual.
This was a side I hadn’t seen of him, and just like everything else he’d shown me, it only made me want him more.
Fuck. That was the first time I’d let myself think it.
I wanted Beckett.
“Oh, you can’t stop now,” he said when I only stood there watching him.
The song changed to “The Humpty Dance,” and out of the corner of my eye I saw both my moms, completely decked out in shoulder pads, break into the dance that went along with it.
Now that was a sight I hadn’t seen since we were kids, when they’d pull out their old CDs and we’d dance around the house with them.
I mimicked their moves, muscle memory kicking in, and Beckett joined me, his hips swaying in a way I tried not to notice too hard.
We bounced from one dance to the next, pulling out our glow sticks to join in with the rest of the crowd.
Soon, though, we were both sweaty messes, and that was when he decided to unzip his jacket and tie it around his waist.
Which left him in a fitted tank top that molded to his body and showed off his incredibly sculpted arms.
Oh, good God. I was gonna drool in the middle of all these people, wasn’t I?
At least with the music playing and Beckett matching my energy, I could play off that I was watching him.
Watching, ogling, drooling—same thing.
He stayed right there with me, laughing and not holding back, and it was such a new thing for me that it had my mind drifting back to Peter momentarily.
He’d get out on the dance floor but wasn’t interested in actually moving his body in any real way.
I couldn’t help but scan the room, wondering if I’d find him hugging a wall with Alec, and when I spotted him, I saw I wasn’t far off.
They were both at the bar, drinking and not saying much.
I saw Peter’s head start to turn in my direction, but I quickly looked away, not wanting to let my eyes or my thoughts stay on him any longer.
Not when Beckett was doing the salt-and-pepper shaker move to make me laugh.
“You’re ridiculous,” I said, my grin way too big. “I love it.”
“Not too bad yourself. What do you call that move?”
“Oh, this?” I did it again. “I call it get in the back seat. I think it’s actually the Hitchhiker, but I like my version better.”
He laughed, the low rumble an addictive sound that made me want to hear it again.
It was way too easy with Beckett, and that was what scared me the most. I was used to relationships being difficult, hard won, but this felt as easy as breathing.
Then again, this wasn’t a real relationship, so maybe that was why.
“Okay,” I said, a little breathless as we slowed for a second. “You’re annoyingly good at this.”
“High praise. Thank you.”
“Don’t let it go to your head.”
“Too late.” He winked at me, and I made a show of rolling my eyes—but as I did, I caught sight of my moms standing near the edge of the dance floor, watching us. Not in an obvious way, just nudging each other, their heads close together as they whispered things that had them smiling. At us.
“Don’t look now,” I said, stepping in closer to Beckett, “but I think we’ve got fans.”
“Yeah?” He followed my gaze, his hand settling at my waist like it belonged there. “Ah. Should I be worried your moms are staring?”
“Depends,” I said, glancing up at him. “You planning on making me look bad?”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”
“Yeah,” I murmured, my eyes dropping to his mouth briefly. “I know you wouldn’t.” And I meant it.
The music changed, the beat slowing down until the opening notes of “(Everything I Do) I Do It for You” played. Beckett’s hand was still on my waist, his body so close I could feel the heat of him. He was solid and steady, not going anywhere.
And when my eyes lifted to his again, there was nothing casual in the way he was looking at me.
“Dance with me,” he said. Not a question, not really. Not when he knew my answer without my having to say it.
His other hand found mine, threading our fingers together, and the way he did it so naturally made my chest warm in a way that had nothing to do with the fact we’d been dancing for so long.
Or the way we were standing so close.
He pulled me in tight and we started to move, slowly swaying as everyone in the room disappeared, the world shrinking down to the space between us.
I became increasingly aware of the way my pulse kicked up at being in his arms again, and couldn’t help thinking about our kiss earlier.
It would be so easy to kiss him now. He was staring down at me like he was thinking the same thing, but that couldn’t be right.
This wasn’t supposed to feel this real.
So I did what I always did when I wanted to defuse the tension.
“You know, this song is highly manipulative.”
His mouth curved. “How so?”
“I mean, how can you resist someone telling you their whole life revolves around you? What are you gonna do? Tell them that’s nice, but no thanks? It’s a lot.”
“Yeah,” he said. “It is.”
I waited for him to make a joke, to lighten the mood and give me an out.
Instead, he pulled me in even closer, the heat of his body wrapping around me. “Or maybe the other person feels the same way.”
My stomach flipped at the intensity in his gaze. I started to look away, but then he said my name and I found myself under his spell again.
“Don’t get back in your head,” he said softly.
“Well, that’s kind of my thing.”
“I know.”
“Do you?”
“Yes.” The hand he had on my waist slid down to my lower back, grounding me without words.
I swallowed. “About earlier…”
“I know,” he said again.
That stopped me. “You do?”
“I do. You’re trying to figure out if that meant something, or if it was just part of what this is supposed to be.”
I stared at him, wondering how he knew to say exactly what was on my mind.
“I… Yeah,” I admitted, scared to hear his answer.
He brought our joined hands between us, his gaze never leaving mine as he said, “It wasn’t.”
My breath caught.
“I didn’t do that because I had to or because you wanted me to.”
We both stopped moving, completely engrossed in each other.
“I did it because I wanted to. And I’m still here for the same reason.”
Oh God. If he hadn’t been holding on to me, I might’ve fallen over, because my knees went seriously weak.
My gaze dropped to his mouth, then flew back up, the space between us feeling suddenly not close enough at all.
Before I could lean in to do what felt right in the moment, Beckett was already there, his hand moving to the back of my neck, pulling me toward him.
Our mouths met, right there in the middle of a crowded room where my family was probably watching, but none of that was on my mind.
Not as Beckett angled his head and his tongue teased mine.
His lips were soft, but he kissed me without hesitation, without holding anything back.
We’d crossed the line once, but this time we were choosing to step over it, and that set every nerve ending in my body on fire.
I didn’t think about what this could mean, didn’t think about anything else. All that mattered was that we both wanted this, and that spurred me to deepen the kiss, because I could this time.
“You taste sweet and fruity,” I murmured against his mouth, my eyes still closed.
“Not complaining about that, are you?”
“No way.” My lips found his again. Even when the song changed, even when everyone around us began to dance full-out again, neither of us were in a hurry to let go, and there was no reason to.
My forehead brushed his, my breath uneven, and I held on to him, my lifeline.
The one good decision I’d made in far too long.