Chapter 13
Midweek, and with no luck on the decision-making front, Alana invites me over to meet the new baby.
As the door swings open, I’m greeted by a bunch of little running feet that make me break into a smile.
“Phoebe and Rebecca, if you two don’t stop running around, one of you is going to smack your head into something!” Alana hollers behind her, the newborn in her arms. “Hi, Auggy, come in!”
She kisses me on the cheek as I pass, and I grin as two toddler girls come into view. They’re racing around the house, pushing doll strollers in front of them, pretending to be little mommies. They both have some kind of cheese doodle smeared around their lips and look way too smitten to be up to something good.
“Having a fun morning?” I ask sarcastically.
Alana rolls her eyes. “These two are going to make Cass and me get some early gray hairs.”
“That’s for sure,” Patrick’s wife, Cassandra, says as I walk into Alana’s kitchen. “Hey, August, you look so grown up. Oh my goodness, it’s been too long since we saw you!”
She envelops me in a hug, her expensive perfume swathing me. I still can’t believe Patrick married one of the most famous Hollywood actresses on the planet; I used to watch her movies when I was a teenager.
“I know, that’s my fault.”
“You’re out there living your life rather than spending time with us old broads, no one blames you for that at all.” Alana chuckles.
“Who you calling old?” Gabrielle, Liam’s wife, raises her eyebrows as she nurses her son, Lucas, at the kitchen table. “Hey, August.”
Setting down the store-bought cookies I showed up with, I try not to feel like I’m intruding.
They’re all so close, even if not related by blood. The Ashton family has grown even more since I left, and I’m happy for them, but I feel even more left out than when I worked at Hope Pizza in high school.
“Hey.” I wave at them, not sure where to sit.
“Come on, let’s gather round the table. Share with us your travels and young ways while we chase after babies,” Alana jokes, looking so happy she could burst.
The little guy nuzzled on her chest looks pretty content for the moment, too.
Pulling out a chair, I snort out a sarcastic laugh. “Well, there isn’t really much to tell.”
“No guy back at college still pining for you?” Gabrielle asks.
I shrug. “I was so busy with work and school that the fun night out was a rare occasion.”
“You were always so dedicated, August. I admire that, it makes me think of myself when I was starting out. You have this singular focus. So then, where does that lead you next?”
They all look so expectant, so anxious that I’m about to tell them good news. These women want the best for me. Meanwhile, I’ve been hiding my pain from everyone who is just looking out for me.
“I’m not sure. I’m actually going to be here for a while, it looks like.”
While Gabrielle and Cass still have that bated breath look on their face, Alana’s expression turns stormy.
“What did she do?” she asks.
I sigh, knowing that she knows me too well. Out of the whole clan, Alana and Warren have always been my biggest supporters. They understand what went on in my life more than any of the other Ashtons, so, of course, Alana is worried about me. She probably already conferenced with Warren about me going to see the lawyer about the will this week.
“I just … my mom left me with some shit to deal with,” I say to the group, trying to ignore the murderous glare of Alana.
Gabrielle gives me a sympathetic smile. “Oh, you want to discuss shitty moms? Cass and I here can commiserate.”
I can tell that Alana is about to explode at any moment, and I don’t need crying children or forlorn mothers around here, so I spill.
“Basically, she left me strapped with fifty thousand dollars of debt to my back. Her mortgage is upside down, and I can’t sell the house right now or I’d owe more. So I’m trying to decide between staying here and working round the clock to pay it off, which will take me years. Or do I move and take one of the job offers I have, knowing I’ll basically have to pay rent for an apartment plus the mortgage here. Plus, all of my other living expenses. It’s just … I’m overwhelmed. It’s left me in a really bad spot.”
“That fucking bitch.” Alana’s jaw drops at what I’ve told her.
“Funny, that’s what your husband said.”
“I would apologize for her, but I’ve been around long enough to see how she terrorized you. I’m so sorry, Auggy. This isn’t fair at all.” Cass reaches across the table to squeeze my hand.
“Wow, that’s fucked up. And there is nothing you can try to do about the sale? I had to deal with my grandmother’s estate after she passed, it was complicated. The lawyer should be able to give you some options.” Gabrielle adjusts her infant to burp him, and the little guy squirms in her arms.
I shake my head. “Not that he’s told me. I’m pretty much stuck. Now it’s just deciding what to do.”
Alana’s mouth sets into a firm line. “Stop it. I’ll give you a check right now. Warren is a freaking millionaire, for goodness’ sake.”
“I’ll do the same. Take the check and pad your account so you can get a place on your own in whatever city you choose. You won’t have to get a roommate.” Cass begins to reach for her purse.
“I won’t take your money.” My voice is harsh, but they both need to cut it out with this shit.
Sitting among these accomplished women, with their perfect families and happy lives, makes me feel like a charity case. And there is nothing more in this world that I hate more than that.
“August, be reasonable. We can help you with the snap of our fingers. You’re family, and I won’t watch you suffer because your mother was a lousy piece of crap.” Alana is growing irate.
“Hey, calm down.” Gabrielle tries to soothe her.
“This is what I didn’t want to happen.” I bury my face in my hands. “You’re already postpartum and dealing with all of that. I didn’t want to come over here and burden you with my shit.”
“You’re not a burden. Ever,” Alana confirms, reaching out to hold my hand.
“You have so much going on, and don’t offer again. You know I won’t take the money. Save us all this argument.” I level a look at her.
“I wish you would let us help.” Cass sounds disappointed, and that’s what I hate about this.
The pride that comes with doing things on my own, not being associated with the kind of woman my mother was … it means I sacrifice, even if there is an easier way. Sure, could I let them? Absolutely. It would be nothing to them. But that’s the problem. Nothing in this life has ever come free to me, and I’m sure a whole slew of shit would come my way if I accepted a bailout.
Alana stands up so fast that I’m pretty sure she might drop the baby.
“Stay here. Live in the house for free so you’re not paying rent. I know you need to start your career but manage the store for me. Lily has been suffering serious neglect since I gave birth, and the manager now is not doing the best job. She can only come in two days a week. With the business we’re doing now, I need someone full time.”
Alana is talking about her local goods and market that she and Warren opened years ago. It’s her passion project, her first baby, and I’ve fallen in love with so many trinkets and items when I’ve walked in there.
“Put it on your résumé. Manager of a successful small business is no small feat. It shows people you’re a hard worker, and there is all kinds of inventory and planning you have to do to run the store. Take some time to think about your plan and leave whenever you’re ready. But I’d hate to see you commit yourself to a city and a job you’re uncertain about just to start making money, when what you really need is a solid path forward.”
It’s like someone opened a window when the door was slammed in my face. For the first time in damn near a week, I feel a bit of hope about the situation.
“Come on, Auggy. I could really use the help. And you’re the most competent perfectionist I know. You’ll have Lily running in tip-top shape in no time.” She pretends to beg, clasping her hands together.
Truly, it’s the perfect solution. I don’t have to stay forever, but at least that gives me a stream of revenue and regular working hours. Alana claims I can still stay at her place, which solves the matter of not stepping foot in my childhood home. And I can also pick up extra jobs on the weekends or at night. It’s not a permanent fix, but it gives me something while I try to get my head on straight.
“As long as this is a real job offer and not nepotism. You have to actually task me with things and push me to work as hard as you would.” I don’t want her just giving me some title so she can funnel money to me.
“Promise.” Alana holds out her pinky, and I shake it.
“Thank you. This is a huge help.” A weight lifts in my chest, even if it doesn’t completely disappear.
“This is the perfect solution for you right now.” Cass nods, looking hopeful on my behalf.
Moving to the stove, Gabrielle takes the lid off a large pot and stirs.
“We all wanted soup today, and my grandmother had this bomb recipe for chicken and wild rice. Can I get you some when it’s done?” Gabrielle asks. “Nothing that’ll heal your soul like some good soup.”
“Honestly, that’s so true. Why is no other food as cozy and heartwarming?” Cass dreamily sighs.
“I can find something pretty heartwarming about a double stuffed burrito,” Alana mumbles, and I snicker.
“So, now that the emotional side of things is dealt with, tell us about the boys. Who has caught your eye?” Cass leans forward in full gossip mode.
Wouldn’t they love to know that I harbor a huge, enormous, silly crush on their brother slash brother-in-law? I’ll never disclose that because how embarrassing. Plus, they’ll probably try to play matchmaker between Evan and me and make me look more like an idiot.
“No one, honestly. I either know everyone still in town, or they’re coupled up. Hope Crest isn’t really the place to cruise for guys on dating apps. Unless you want to find one who is forty and divorced while living close to his ex for the kids,” I quip.
Gabrielle brings over a pitcher of iced tea; I pour a glass and then drink the refreshing liquid.
“Well, Evan is still single,” Cass practically purrs.
The iced tea gets stuck in my windpipe at her seemingly innocent remark, and I begin to choke violently. I hit myself on the chest three times, coughing and sputtering, before glancing across the table at her.
She’s smirking like a cat who got the cream, and I wonder if she has some idea just how big my feelings are where her brother-in-law is concerned.
“Ohh, that would be interesting. You’d finally be family.” Alana wiggles her eyebrows.
“Evan is a man-child who is not worthy of this accomplished, rising star.” Gabby waves them off.
If I know anything, it’s that Evan and Liam have a weirdly odd competitive relationship out of all the siblings. I don’t think Gabby buys into it much, but I wonder why she has that opinion of Evan.
“True. My little brother can be a pain in the ass. And he’s awfully selfish. Okay, I changed my mind, not good enough for our August.” She deems it so, and my heart sinks a little.
I wonder how their tunes would change if they knew I actually wanted something to happen. Not that I do, but … oh hell, I don’t know what way is up anymore.
“How is the whole roommate thing going?” Cass eyes me again with that knowing gleam in her eye.
Yeah, I have a feeling she’s going to try to corner me about that at some point. “It’s fine. Good, actually. We barely see each other and he’s gone so much that I kind of feel like I have the place to myself, but don’t have to cook. He stocks the fridge with some of the best meals I’ve ever had.”
The other morning, I woke up to a note on my door informing me that he’d made maple butter waffles from scratch, and a plate was in the microwave for me whenever I woke up. Evan was long gone by the time I got to it, and I was thankful for that, since the moans I made while eating the breakfast he left were completely indecent for company.
“You do have to hand it to him, the kid can cook his ass off.” Gabby chuckles.
“All right, I think it’s time for baby snuggles. Let them at me.” I open my arms, ready to have the spotlight off of me.
Since I was young, I’ve always had an affinity for watching children. I babysat on the side of my waitressing job for a long time simply because I love it, and the families of Hope Crest paid well.
The Ashton grandkids? They’re some of the cutest I’ve ever seen, and there is nothing like newborn baby snuggles to make all your problems melt away.
Alana plops the baby on my chest, and he scrunches his little nose in sleep, then settles right down like I’m his favorite new mattress.
“He’s magnificent.” I breathe in his scent.
“So far, a much calmer sleeper than his sister. Although I’ve heard the second child is a hell raiser, so we’ll see.”
“If you and Patrick are anything to go by, that role is reversed between the second and third,” Cass points out.
“True,” Alana agrees, laughing lightly as she strokes the soft baby fuzz on her son’s head.
I spend the next two hours smothered with cuddles, imaginary play, and altogether mindless fun. From the decision to manage Lily to the playtime with the kids, this visit with the Ashton wives is exactly what I need to raise my spirits.