Chapter 24
The annual First Barbecue Fest is in full swing, and almost everyone in Hope Crest has shown up on the riverbanks of the Delaware to celebrate.
A first weekend of summer tradition, the big cookout takes place on the first official weekend of summer. All the residents lug camping chairs, lawn games, coolers full of beers for the adults, juices for the kids, and some speakers out to the canal paths that run on the edge of town. We set up in clusters of families and friends, bringing portable grills and smokers to make a feast of burgers, hot dogs, brisket, corn on the cob, and every kind of fruit or pasta salad known to man.
There are games of catch, flag football, corn hole, and dancing when everyone gets one too many beers or spiked seltzers in them. Usually, by dark, someone is setting off fireworks in one of the boats on the river, and we all stumble home happily. It’s one of my favorite days of the year simply because it’s so easy and carefree.
And my family always insists I don’t have to cook. Actually, when it comes to the grill, Liam is usually the master. He smokes a better brisket than I can, which used to piss me off, but now I like not having to be the chef for a day.
“I think your meat is burning.” I still like to tease him, though.
My big brother rolls his eyes at me. “I make the best meat there is, so don’t fucking start.”
“Little ears, Liam!” Cass scolds him with a baby on her hip.
“And stop bragging about your meat, it’s inappropriate,” I taunt him.
“Your youngest child is a menace.” Liam directs this at my mom as he flips some burgers and turns hot dogs on the fire.
She nods, sipping her drink out of her red plastic cup. “We always said so, but he’s so darn cute I never could help it.”
I grin gleefully like I’m the most innocent kid she has. “Thanks, Ma. I knew I was your favorite.”
She tries to swat at me half-heartedly. “I have no favorites! Stop that, Evan.”
When she uses my name, I know she means business.
“Stop bothering your mother,” Dad says, rubbing his hand over his heart.
“You okay?” Patrick asks him, walking by carrying a big serving platter full of meats and cheeses.
“I’m fine. Just need another beer.” Dad smiles, walking over to the cooler.
Around us, the kids are running, or the ones who can walk are playing a game of chase. At least one of them takes a tumble every five seconds, but they get right up, unfazed.
“August!” Cassandra yells out, and my heart starts beating double time at the mention of her name.
Immediately, my scalp starts to tingle. When I turn, a baseball mitt on my hand, I see her waving from the canal path. Her surprised expression illustrates that she must have forgotten today was the barbecue fest and that she wasn’t expecting to see the entire Ashton clan here.
Black spandex shorts wrap around her upper legs in the most delicious fashion, and a tight white T-shirt hugs her breasts and waist. She’s spent every night in my bed, yet we barely interact during daylight hours. We fall asleep in the midst of conversation, but I get the feeling, as she approaches with a stand-off nature, that she wouldn’t want anyone in my family to know that.
Meanwhile, I want to rush up to her and sink my hands in that tumble of blond hair, but I think she might knee me in the balls if I try.
“I’m so glad you’re here! Did you know where we were camped out?” Cass asks her, giving her a hug.
One by one, my family members hug her, but I stay back. We don’t talk about what’s going on between us; we don’t discuss the sex. I’ve wanted to try to broach the subject of how I feel about her, but I get the impression it will send her running in the other direction. She has so much on her mind right now that if all I can be to her is a release at the end of a long day, I’ll take what I can get.
“Hey.” I nod, not approaching her.
“Hey.” She sends me a little finger wave, and I so badly want to blurt out to my family that we’ve been sleeping together.
That would be awkward as shit. But a caveman part of my brain wants to lay claim to her. The only time I seem to be allowed to do that is when I’m buried deep inside her.
“Hey.” She and Warren come face-to-face, and he looks so sad that I want to give my brother-in-law a hug.
“Hi.” She blinks, and I know they both are holding on to this tension.
Something tells me I should go to her, be by her side, because I’m so in tune with her emotions these days that I know she needs a shoulder if she wants to lean on it.
“Do you guys want a minute?” I grasp her elbow and ask in a low voice.
“Not here. This is a fun family thing.” She looks around as if she shouldn’t be here.
I’m about to scold her for trying to exclude herself, but my sister runs in, and body slams her into a bear hug.
“I’m so sorry. I should have told you years ago, but we just love you and want the best for you. Forgive us?” Leave it to Alana to be the obnoxious one you can never say no to.
August huffs out a shaky chuckle, and I see the tears glistening in her eyes as she hugs my sister back. “We can talk it out later, but I’m less mad than I was.”
“We only want the very best for you. I’m sorry I didn’t just come clean about it.” Warren’s voice is serious, and he aims a genuine look at her.
“I know you do.” She nods, their connection evident.
“Come eat with us.” I want to sling my arm around her shoulders so badly, but I don’t think she’ll appreciate that in front of our whole family.
“No, I won’t interrupt. I was just on a walk and forgot that this festival happened today. I’m going to head back to the house.”
“No, you’re not.” Nonna walks up out of nowhere and takes August by the hand. “I made my special caramel cake for dessert that you used to love that when you were in high school. You’re staying.”
There is no way August would ever say no to my grandmother or that anyone would say no to my grandmother, for that matter. August allows Nonna to pull her along, and I silently thank my overbearing family for pulling her into our orbit today.
She might not be here for me, but at least I get to spend time around her outside of the confines of our shared house.
An hour later, we’re all stuffed and a little tipsy, and my niece is sitting on August’s lap, telling her a story. August looks so enthralled and adorable listening to the little girl, and something in my head starts ringing low but insistent, like a warning or a revelation. I’m terrified to unwrap it in my brain, so I leave it there … but I know what it means.
Watching her with kids is something I like. Seeing her be sweet to these children is oddly addicting.
What the fuck is this woman doing to me?
I can’t stay away any longer, but it’s not like I can go over and pull her into my lap. She’s got a lot of turmoil with certain members of my family right now, and I don’t want to throw another wrench into her life just because I want to flirt with her at this barbecue.
But it doesn’t mean we can’t spend time together. We’re roommates, after all. It’s totally normal for roommates to go for a walk or take one of the row boats out.
“Let’s go out on the water.” I stand over her, not posing my sentence as a question.
“Um, I don’t know.” She glances at the shore where the small waves lap.
“Come on, it’ll be fun. I’ll do all the pedaling.” I wink at her, the beer giving me a cocky edge.
Her smirk makes my balls tingle, and I’d rather take her home than out on the lake, but my family would know something is up. God, she’s gorgeous.
“All right. But as long as they don’t need you?”
“They’re fine. No one needs anything cooked, prepped, or cut,” I joke, but sometimes I feel like that might be all I’m good for.
August frowns. “You know they love you for way more than that.”
Leave it to her to see right through me. “Yeah, yeah. Come on, let’s do this.”
She stands, putting my niece on her feet, and we walk toward the river together.
“I’m glad you came, even if you didn’t know about it.” I should have invited her, and the guilt burns my chest. “If I would have asked, you’d have said no, right?”
“Probably.” She frowns beside me.
“That’s what I thought. Seems like fate made it happen anyway.”
“Who are you and what have you done with Evan? Talking about myths and the universe?” She grins.
“Sometimes I wax poetic,” I tease, untying one of the paddle boats and helping her in.
The moment her hand is in mine, a spark zings from my fingertips down to my spine.
This is something couples do, taking a boat ride during our small-town barbecue festival. If someone who didn’t know us was watching this interaction, they might think we’re dating. The thought sends a warm feeling through my chest, and I wonder if August is thinking the same thing.
Powering the boat with my feet, I bring us out into the middle of the calm water, making sure the small current doesn’t take us too far.
“We used to float the river all the time when I was a kid,” I say, trying to make conversation.
“I did it a few times, but I’ve always liked the beach more than a river or lake. Don’t tell the townspeople, they might chase after me with pitchforks.” She wiggles her eyebrows.
“You’ll have to come out with us this summer. We bring a floating cooler with beers and a speaker; it’s much better than the days of burning in rafts with your high school friends.”
“Maybe I will.” She nods. “You know, teenage me would be freaking out right now.” She chuckles.
We’ve already established her crush from yesteryear, but it makes me happy that she doesn’t seem embarrassed to bring it up anymore.
“And adult me is freaking out. I have the prettiest girl in the whole town in my boat.” I wink at her again.
“Oh, really now?” She doesn’t sound convinced.
“You’re the most beautiful person, inside and out. I’m lucky to be spending time with you.” It’s the most real and open I’ve been about how I feel with her. “And I think I can tell you that and won’t bolt, simply because we’re in the middle of the river.”
August looks over the side into the water. “Guess this conversation was coming.”
“I mean, we could just keep going on the way we are. But you’re not a coward, and neither am I.” Plus, I’m not sure how much longer I can not talk about this.
“Evan, I … it’s a lot right now. Our nights have been, well, they’ve been my reprieve. I won’t tell you I haven’t dreamed about us because you know I have. I drunkenly admitted it. But can’t we just keep doing what we’re doing? Your family, I don’t want to get all tangled up.”
Here I go. It’s time to take the leap. If not, I’m just a coward, and I’ve never been the type who doesn’t go after what he wants.
“You have a lot on your plate right now, I get that. But I’d like to take you out. I know you might not be able to handle that at the moment, and I heard what you said about not wanting a relationship. But just getting a few hours at night with you isn’t cutting it for me, August. Sure, it’s complicated, and we’re both in the midst of big life changes, but who cares? What I feel when I’m with you—that’s rare. And that kind of spark doesn’t just come along every day. We both know it. So why not add one more thing? Why not just say to hell with it, and really give this a shot?”
My heart feels like it’s dangling on a tightrope; I’ll either make it successfully across and get what I want or plummet to my death with her rejection.
She’s still studying the water before looking back up at me, hazel eyes winking with amusement.
“Okay.”
At first, I think I imagined her saying that, but when I put my total concentration on her face, I see the curve of her lips into a smile. “But not at the diner or movie theater. Teenage me might have settled for it, but adult me needs a little more than that.”
“And here I was thinking you might want to fulfill that making out in the back row of a scary movie fantasy,” I tease.
“You should know I’m more a rom-com girl, so you’ll have to put up with all the cheesiness.”
“Cheese is what I do, babe. I’m a pizza chef.” I take her tease and spin it.
Looking back at the shore, at all the people I know and have grown up with, I feel nothing but contentment. Right here is where I want to be.
It hasn’t happened quickly—lord knows I’ve been back for years. But even with the turmoil of family drama, there is something that draws me to this place like a magnet. I can leave, but I will always come back.
But it isn’t like that for her. August never wanted to return, and now she’s stuck here due to her mother’s mistakes. But maybe, just maybe, I can show her that there is more here for her than the past and the trauma that comes with it. If she just lets me in, lets my family in, we can help like no one has before.
Maybe I can show her that Hope Crest is a place worth coming back to.
About ten minutes later, I’m helping August out and tying up the boat, and then we’re headed back up to my family’s designated hang-out spot. Part of me wonders if they know something is going on. If I had to guess, Mom and Alana already suspect because those two are like basset hounds the way they sniff things out.
August and I are in the midst of bantering about who can throw a better game of cornhole when something captures my attention.
“Dad? Dad, what’s wrong?”
It’s the tone of Patrick’s voice that has me turning around, because my brother is nothing if not calm and collected. But his voice is laced with panic.
When I glimpse Dad, his hand clutches at his shirt, and his face is turning a horrible shade of red.
“Thomas? Did you swallow something? Oh God, is he choking?” Mom starts toward him, trying to clutch at him, but Liam pulls her back.
“Dad?” My voice sounds strange coming out of my ears.
As if he hears his name from my lips more than anyone else, Dad’s eyes fixate on mine …
Right before he falls backward, and his body begins to twitch in a terrible fashion.