Chapter 26
TWENTY-SIX
KAI
I stare at my reflection, hands braced on the marble countertop of my ridiculously oversized bathroom. Who needs three sinks anyway? Just another brilliant decision from the mind of Kai Trujillo, professional fuckup.
The face looking back at me isn’t terrible, objectively speaking.
I’ve been told I’m handsome enough times to believe it.
Sun-kissed skin that doesn’t fade even in winter, eyes that crinkle at the corners when I smile, hair that looks artfully tousled even when I’ve just rolled out of bed.
The universe’s way of compensating for everything else it took from me, I guess.
“You’re fine,” I tell my reflection. “Totally fine. Absolutely crushing it.”
Even my reflection doesn’t have it in him to look convinced.
The dull throb behind my eyes intensifies, a familiar pressure that’s been building all day.
I open the medicine cabinet, pushing aside expensive skin care products I barely use to reach the orange prescription bottle tucked in the back corner.
The label’s worn from handling, the name of the medication barely legible anymore.
I shake a small white pill into my palm and stare at it.
Dr. Mercer prescribed these after my parents died, when it felt like I would never feel anything but angry ever again.
Said they’d help take the edge off. He wasn’t wrong.
If he planned for me to eventually wean myself off at some point, he hasn’t said anything about it.
The sound of a car pulling up outside catches my attention.
Noah and Holly are back from their wilderness rescue adventure.
I quickly toss the pill into my mouth and swallow it dry, wincing at the bitter taste as it scrapes down my throat.
No time for water. I shove the bottle back into its hiding spot and slam the cabinet shut.
“Game face,” I mutter, rolling my shoulders back and practicing my signature easy grin. Perfect. No one would ever guess that the inside of my head feels like it’s being slowly crushed in a vice.
I bounce down the stairs just as the front door opens, letting in a blast of cold air along with Noah and Holly.
They’re both flushed and animated, Noah’s hand resting casually on Holly’s lower back in a way that makes something in my chest twist with both happiness and a weird emptiness I refuse to examine.
“Well, well, well!” I call out, spreading my arms wide. “Look what the blizzard blew in! Why are you two looking so disgustingly pleased with yourselves? Did you finally christen the clinic break room?”
Holly’s cheeks flush deeper, but she’s smiling too hard to be genuinely embarrassed. Noah just rolls his eyes, but there’s no real annoyance there.
“I saved someone today,” Holly says, practically vibrating with excitement. “Like, actually saved them. In a cave. With a needle.”
“Whoa, slow down there, MacGyver.” I guide them both toward the living room, partly because they look cold and partly because standing still makes the pounding in my head worse. “I need details. Preferably in dramatized form and with appropriate sound effects.”
Holly laughs, the sound light and free in a way I haven’t heard from her before. It’s nice. Makes the pain recede a little.
“Amateur caver got stuck upside down in a tight passage,” Noah explains, helping Holly out of her coat.
“Fluid built up in his lungs from the compression and inverted position. Holly performed an emergency thoracentesis in conditions that would make most doctors nope out without even making the attempt.”
“A thora-what-now?” I ask, flopping onto the couch and propping my feet on the coffee table.
“I used a needle to drain fluid from around his lungs so he could breathe properly,” Holly clarifies.
“In a cave,” Noah adds. “With minimal light, no ultrasound guidance, and while the patient was still upside down.”
“Holy shit.” I sit up straighter, genuinely impressed. “That’s badass, Hollipop.”
A shadow moves in the doorway, and I don’t need to look to know it’s Grayson. The guy creeps around like a house cat, appearing and disappearing without warning. Used to freak me out, but now it’s just part of the weird charm that is Grayson Lambe.
“What happened?” Grayson asks, his deep voice rumbling through the room.
Holly launches into the story again, her hands moving animatedly as she describes the narrow passage and the precarious position of the trapped caver. Noah watches her with undisguised pride, adding details about the technical aspects of the procedure she performed.
I watch them all, a strange observer in my own home. They’re so competent, all of them. And then there’s me, the guy who plays video games and makes inappropriate jokes.
If I were broke, I’d just be another loser that none of them wanted anything to do with.
“What’s your most intense wilderness experience?” Holly asks Grayson when she finishes her story.
Grayson considers for a moment, his face mostly hidden behind that bandanna he always wears. “Avalanche rescue in the Dolomites,” he finally says. “Three climbers buried. Found two alive.”
That’s Grayson—maximum impact with minimum words.
“What about you, Kai?” Holly turns to him, eyes bright with curiosity. “Any crazy stories?”
They all turn to me expectantly, and panic flutters in my chest. What am I supposed to say? That I once got really drunk and fell off my snowboard into a snowbank? That I got lost hiking once but it turned out I was only fifty yards from the parking lot?
“We should celebrate,” I announce, jumping to my feet. The sudden movement makes my vision swim, but I power through it. “Holly’s first wilderness save deserves a proper toast. Let’s hit The Lodge.”
Holly hesitates, biting her lower lip. “I don’t know... what will people think? About all of us together?”
“They already know you’re staying with us,” Noah points out. “The whole town’s been talking about it since the blizzard.”
“And no one will suspect we’ve suddenly decided to pack up and choose a mate,” Grayson adds, his eyes meeting mine briefly. “Town thinks Noah’s leaving soon anyway.”
Holly looks like she wants to question where Noah might be going, but I swoop in before she can ask.
I clap my hands together. “It’s settled then! Operation Celebrate Holly’s Badassery is a go. I’m driving.”
“You’re not driving,” Noah and Grayson say in unison.
I clutch my chest in mock offense. “The betrayal! The lack of faith! The—“
“Last time you drove in snow, you ended up parked in a ditch,” Grayson reminds me.
“That was one time! And there was a deer!”
“There was no deer,” Noah says drolly.
“I’ll drive,” Grayson declares. “Just put new chains on the tires.”
The pill I just took doesn’t mix well with alcohol or driving, so I don’t argue. Instead, I throw my arm around Holly’s shoulders and steer her toward the door.
“To The Lodge we go! I’m buying the first round. And the second. And possibly the third, depending on how impressive other people find your cave medicine story.”
As we bundle up to face the cold, I catch a glimpse of myself in the hallway mirror.
My smile looks genuine, my eyes bright with excitement.
No one would ever guess that behind that carefully constructed facade, there’s nothing but unnecessary noise that I’m hoping will fade as that the medication takes hold.
I lead Holly towards the door, praying she’ll stay happy with whatever crumbs of an alpha I can offer her.