Chapter 25 | Bianca
Bianca
Iblinked rapidly, my head pounding as I scrambled toward consciousness. My throat burned, and I lifted my hand to my neck, wincing as a slight pain pulsed at my side.
“Hey,” Michael’s deep voice said, blanketing me as I tried to focus. “I’m here. You’re on meds, but you might feel some dull pain so be careful.”
I tried to talk but only a squeak came out.
Michael pulled his chair closer and took my hand, careful not to jostle the IV taped to the back of my hand. “You had a tube in during surgery,” he said, kissing my hand as his free hand stroked the hair at my temple. “It’s going to be hard to talk.”
“Surgery?” I whispered.
He nodded, his jaw resting against my hand as he studied me. “You’re going to be okay. I promise.”
Inhaling deeply, I struggled to understand what happened before it all came rushing back. Going to the distillery for Michael’s present. Getting slammed by another car. A confrontation with Simon before...
“Oh, god...” I rasped as tears flooded my eyes. “I killed Simon.”
Michael nodded and gently wiped my tears away. “Don’t repeat that to anyone but me. The official report says that Joaquin shot him.”
Ragged breaths left my chest. “He was going to kidnap me so I’d tell him where Alexis was... I couldn’t let him threaten her, Michael.”
“Of course not.” His thumb stroked my cheek as I struggled to contain the swirling emotions. “You did what you had to do. My fierce, strong wife. I’m in awe of you.”
I gazed into his eyes, taking comfort in his presence.
“Are Joaquin and Chris okay?”
“They’re hurt but they’ll be fine.”
“This is all my fault,” I said, shaking my head on the pillow. “I’d been cooped up in the house, and I learned it was your birthday and... I just wanted to get you something special. It was only a ten-minute drive...”
“I know, sweetheart,” he said, his tone caring without a hint of anger. “I don’t blame you. I wish you’d listened to me and stayed home, but we both know you’re not thrilled at taking orders from me.”
Unable to smile at his teasing, I fought off more tears as exhaustion set in. God, I was so tired.
“What did they do surgery on?” I asked weakly.
Michael’s eyes darted between mine as a feeling of dread washed over me.
“Michael?”
“You had several damaged organs, and the surgeon was able to repair most of them. But your uterus had severe scarring and damage from your previous D&C, so they had to remove it.”
My chin trembled. “Remove it? They...did a hysterectomy?”
“Yes, sweetheart,” he said, the backs of his fingers stroking my cheek. “I’m so sorry.”
My lips trembled as my heart shattered in my chest. “But...I was going to try and give you a son... Did you tell them that?” Tears streamed down my cheeks. “Michael, you wanted a son...”
“Bianca,” he said, leaning forward and cupping my jaw. Tenderness laced his words as he spoke reverently. “All I ever wanted was you. Don’t you understand that?”
Grief for all I’d lost washed over me as I tried not to drown in despair. What Michael couldn’t know was that my miscarriage had been Victor’s fault. Even after his death, he was a source of misery, and I rued the day I’d ever married him.
“I’m so sorry...” I said, my eyes drooping as they grew heavy. “All my fault...”
“Shh,” Michael soothed as I drifted. “None of that matters. Only you matter, stella...”
Darkness claimed me as I silently mourned for all I’d lost.
The next day, I returned home, Michael by my side as I entered the house.
“Your car,” I said weekly as he carried me inside. “I totally forgot about the car—”
“Doesn’t matter,” he said, carrying me up the stairs, my arms secure around his shoulders. “I can buy another car, Bianca.”
“I’ve ruined everything,” I said, burying my face in his neck and trying not to break into tears yet again. I hated unnecessary tears—they never accomplished anything—but the pain meds made me woozy and decreased my ability to control my emotions.
Michael placed me on the bed and sat beside me. Smiling down at me, he stroked my cheek. “I’m going to go get your comfy purple sweatpants and black tank top you like. Are they in your top drawer?”
I nodded, amazed that he’d noticed my favorite loungewear. “How did you know they’re my favorite?”
“Because I like knowing what makes you happy.” He brushed his lips against mine. “Be right back.”
I closed my eyes, wondering how long his supportive attitude would last. After all, I’d totaled his car, disobeyed his request to stay home, led to his men getting injured and killed one of his mortal enemies.
If it were Victor, I was sure he would’ve killed me and disposed of me in a place where I’d never be found.
Michael strode back in and helped me remove the scrubs I was wearing before slipping the sweatpants and tank top on.
“Burns is interviewing home nurses, and we’ll have one here tomorrow. For now, I’m going to have to do my best.” His lips curved into a gorgeous smile.
“Why are you being so nice to me?” I whispered. “Victor would’ve killed me.”
Michael sighed and shook his head. “I’m pissed, Bianca, and we’ll talk about that one day when you’re feeling better. The caveman in me wants to chain you to this bed and never let you leave again.”
Leaning closer, he palmed my cheek. “But I almost lost you, and nothing matters more than that. You’re beating yourself up more than I ever could.
The one thing I’ve learned about the past is that we can’t change it.
I won’t stew in anger over something that’s done.
I need you to get healthy so I can accomplish my goal, once and for all. ”
“I’m sorry about Simon,” I said, understanding the gravity of my actions. “It’s going to make things much more difficult for you.”
“Yes,” he said with a nod. “But it will also speed things up, and that’s not the worst thing in the world. Men are going to realize they need to make a choice or die. Fear of death is a powerful motivator.”
I lifted my hand to his stubbled jaw, so angry that I’d made his life harder. All he’d done since Victor’s death is protect me, and I’d fucked everything up.
“I can’t give you a son,” I said, my nostrils flaring as I tamped down the emotion in my chest. “I understand if you want a divorce.”
Possession flared in his eyes as his tone turned serious. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that, and I never want to hear the word divorce from your pretty lips again, Bianca. Do you hear me?”
“I don’t want to trap you—”
“We took vows, and I intend to honor them,” he interjected, his tone indicating the subject was closed. “You’re my wife. I don’t want you worrying about anything other than getting better. Can you do that for me?”
I nodded. “Your birthday...”
“The only gift I need is for you to listen to me, woman,” he said, a teasing exasperation in his tone. “Focus on getting better, and then you can defy me all you want.”
“Thank you for forgiving me,” I said, my eyelids growing heavy. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Shh...” His fingers brushed my hair off my forehead, the caress so soothing as I relaxed into the bed. “Get some rest, stella. I’ll be here...”
Surrounded by his reassuring words, I succumbed to my exhaustion.