Chapter Thirty-one
T he further I walk away from Lila, the more my heart breaks.
Thank the gods that the others forced me to see Dr. Gregory. Without the work we’ve been doing daily, I wouldn’t have survived this setback. Because that’s all it is—a setback. I can’t think of it as anything else, or I’ll lose myself to the darkness still looming inside my head.
She’s allowed to take the time she needs.
She’s not saying no.
Even if she says no, I have people who love me—who depend on me.
I just have to keep the hope alive.
I can do this.
I sigh as I go through the affirmations Dr. Gregory and I came up with to help me cope with setbacks such as these.
I’m still not sure I’ll survive if she decides she can’t have anything to do with us, but Dr. Gregory says I can’t borrow tomorrow’s trouble. I just have to focus on the here and now. I don’t know what the future will bring, and all I’ll do is drive myself crazy if I think about the what-ifs.
“Are you okay, Ty?”
Glancing up at Aidan, I nod as we stop beside our car. My tears have finally stopped, and even though I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest and stomped on, I’m okay. I have to be okay—for my pod, if not for myself.
“It hurts, but we can’t rush her. She has to decide on her own. We can’t force it.”
Carter’s smile is a little sad as he pulls me against him. “I’m so proud of you, Ty.”
He leans down to kiss me, the two of us breaking apart when we hear Lila’s front door open.
Spinning around, I find my mate flying down the stairs. Her brunette hair is falling out of the ponytail she put it in and her hazel eyes are puffy and red. Tears stream down her face, and I can’t help taking a step toward her. I don’t like seeing her hurting, and right now, that’s exactly what she’s doing.
“Lila?” I choke up moments before she launches herself into my arms.
I’m thankful the car is right behind me as I stagger at her unexpected weight. Her arms loop around my neck and her legs wrap around my hips as she buries her face in my neck.
“Please don’t leave me again. I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I’m so stubborn. I love you, and I hate seeing you hurt. I’m hurting you and me and the others. I’m so fucking sorry. I don’t want to push you guys away. I want to love you and be loved by you. Please, just don’t leave me.” Lila’s words are rushed, and it takes me a moment or two to figure out what she’s saying.
I close my arms around her, clinging to her just as much as she’s clinging to me. I lift my eyes to glance at my pod, finding each of them staring at our mate in disbelief.
Just moments ago, she’d practically been pushing us out the door. Now, she’s clinging to me and asking me not to leave her—for us not to leave her.
“Never,” I murmur in her ear. “I’ll never leave you again. You’re stuck with me for the rest of our lives.”
Lila pulls back to meet my gaze, blinking away the tears still falling. “You promise?”
“I promise. Never again.” And because I can’t help myself, I crash my lips against hers.
Having her in my arms is a balm for my soul. This is what we should’ve had ten years ago .
But I’m not going to dwell on that. The past is in the past, and there’s not a damn thing I can do to change it.
Lila lets out a needy whimper, her mouth falling open, pulling my attention back to the here and now. I deepen the kiss, never wanting to stop. I want to spend the rest of my life in her arms. Well … maybe not just in her arms.
Someone clears their throat, and we break apart. Lila twists in my arms, glancing at my pod mates, and I set her on her feet.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” she says again. “I’m an asshole, and I know an apology won’t make up for the pain I caused—“
“Lila,” Carter says, cutting her off. “Shut up.”
Then his lips are on hers. He lifts her into the air, spinning in circles as they kiss. When he sets her back down, he’s grinning down at her. “I love you, Lila, and there’s nothing for you to apologize for. We left you, and we caused you so much pain. It only seems fair that you cause us a little in return. Let’s put all of that aside and focus on the future.”
She nods. “I think I’d like that.”
“Good.” He leans down to kiss her once more before spinning her around and pushing her toward Oliver and Aidan, who are waiting semi-patiently for their turn.
Lila’s mouth pops open as she looks between the two of them, but Oliver shakes his head. “Don’t you dare apologize. Just get over here so we can kiss you.”
She grins, practically throwing herself across the short distance into his arms. Aidan presses against her back as they hold her between them, both of them kissing her repeatedly.
“It’s about time,” Wyatt drawls, having joined us at some point in time—though my attention is locked on Lila, so I couldn’t say when. “It was becoming painful watching her hurt herself and the four of you.”
“We couldn’t have done this without you,” Carter admits, hesitating before hugging the incubus. “Thank you.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?” Lila demands, hands on her hips as she glances between the two of them.
I bite my lip to keep myself from laughing. Oh, this is going to be good.
Wyatt runs a hand through his messy blond hair. “Oh … ummm … about that?”
Carter’s eyes widen as he glances at us before focusing his attention back on our mate. “Wyatt was just trying to help.”
“Trying to help with … what?“ she trails off, waiting for one of them to answer her.
“Trying to help us win you back,” I declare, wrapping my arms around her from behind and kissing her neck.
She huffs. I can’t see her face now, but I assume she’s glaring at the two of them. “I want to be pissed at you, Wy, but you did the right thing. Thank you.”
Wyatt’s entire body seems to relax before he closes the distance between them, bending over so he can kiss her. “You’re welcome, babe. You know I always want what’s best for you—whatever makes you happy. And you haven’t been happy in a long time. Now you are, and can I say, it looks fucking fantastic on you.”
“It really does,” I add, still gripping her to me. I can’t bring myself to let her go yet. If I had my way, I’d never have to let her go again.
“There are still things we need to talk about,” Carter says slowly.
“There are, but I don’t think we need to worry about that just yet.” Wyatt’s grin turns wicked. “Not when we could be celebrating, and since Lila hasn’t been drinking this morning, there’s no reason for the four of you to turn her down.”
Lila giggles. “Now, that sounds like a plan I can get behind.”
I reluctantly release her when she pulls away.
She spins around to face us. “Catch me, if you can!” Then she’s sprinting toward the house, moving faster than I would’ve thought she could.
The five of us stand there for a moment before we all spring forward.
Hell, yes!
I can’t wait to bury my cock into her wet heat again. It’s been entirely too long.
Fuck, I love this woman with my heart and soul.