Chapter 17
Ehsan was a morning person. On the walk to his first day of football practice, he was skipping, while I dragged my feet the twenty-minute walk to the park. The air was cooler this early, and I enjoyed the feel of it against my neck.
With barely any time to get ready, I chucked on a midi dress paired with sandals. We still hadn’t received our shipment of things yet, to our dismay. I didn’t even have a minute to brush my hair, so I tied it up in a messy bun on top of my head.
“Are you nervous?” I asked Ehsan, turning around frequently to check that no jinn were following us. Paranoia was exhausting.
Ehsan scoffed. “No,” he said, though he sounded it. Excitement and nerves often went hand in hand.
When we got there, I tried to find a coach to introduce Ehsan to.
I scanned the field for an adult in sporty gear, aside from the parents on the sidelines who had brought snacks and folding chairs.
They’d come prepared to spectate, whereas I thought I’d drop Ehsan off here and then go to a coffee shop to FaceTime Nic…
I finally clocked the coach. He had his back to me, and I marched Ehsan over to him, forcing myself to stand up straight and be normal.
“Excuse me?” I said to the back of the man. It was only when he began to turn around that I realized the back of his head was very familiar.
My stomach flipped.
“Oh, hey,” Zain—the coach—said.
I was tongue-tied for a few moments before I realized that Ehsan was staring at me. “My brother is joining the team,” I quickly said. “Ehsan Esfandari.”
Zain smiled, gazing down at Ehsan. “Nice to meet you, Ehsan.”
“Your hair is really cool,” Ehsan said. Annoyingly, I had to agree. Zain had a natural curl to his dark blond hair that looked both styled and like he just woke up like that.
Zain laughed quietly. “Well, thanks. You can put your stuff down in that corner, and we’ll start doing some warm-ups and introductions in five minutes.”
Dylan called Ehsan’s name.
“Go,” I said. He didn’t need to be told twice and ran over to his new friend, leaving me with Zain.
“Well,” I began. “I didn’t realize you would be here.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Zain had his hands in his hoodie pockets and was rocking on his heels, a small grin on his face.
I didn’t know how he could look so relaxed given everything that had happened.
“It’s not—it was just an observation.”
“We do need to talk about yesterday,” he said, his voice low.
That’s better.
“Later,” I said, conscious of everyone around us. To change the subject I said, “Cleo saw us together and had questions. She seems to think it’s weird that you’d speak to a mere mortal like myself.”
His eyebrows raised. “You didn’t…?”
“No, I didn’t tell her you’re a…you know. But I didn’t really know how to explain why we were together, either.”
He took a step toward me and bent down so we were at eye level. “You could have said we were on a date.”
My heart stopped for a moment. I was very aware not only of the people around us, but of how close Zain was.
I felt like he knew what he was doing to me, that I obviously found him attractive and felt this pull to him.
But I wasn’t sure if the pull was because of Rabiya’s love for Zal or in spite of it.
“That would be lying,” I said as coolly as I was able.
“It doesn’t have to be.”
Oh God. I couldn’t tell if he was joking, and my heart speeding up signaled that I clearly hoped he wasn’t.
I noticed him staring at my neck, and I felt myself flush.
“Your hair up suits you,” he mused. “I can really see your face.”
My mouth went dry. He was about to speak again, but we were interrupted by a mom who asked when practice would get going, seeing as it was two minutes past start time. Zain straightened to his full height and flashed his most charming smile to the mom and apologized.
“I’ll leave you to it,” I said quickly.
I sat cross-legged on the grass, a little away from the parents. There were about twenty kids Ehsan’s age playing. Zain led the warm-ups, making them stretch before asking them to run around the field twice. He was good with kids, laughing along with them when they whined about doing another lap.
Despite trying not to look at him too much, I felt my gaze naturally going over to Zain, noticing little details about him, like how tight his jaw was, except when he was speaking to the kids.
His long, strong legs as he did high knees.
That was when I mentally slapped myself and took my book out of my bag.
I had begun reading the one Cleo gave me, and even though it took some time to get into—because of my state of mind— I was enjoying Sabaa Tahir’s writing.
But right now, as I tried to read, all I could think about was Zain being close by.
And how ironic it was that my dad had led me straight to him.
Sighing, I closed my book and checked my phone. I had messages from Nic.
Nic
I hate boys.
Specifically Jack.
I need an American boy who’ll take me on cute dates, not KISS OTHER GIRLS.
Specifically Sophie Thompson.
The messages had been sent seconds apart. I immediately FaceTimed her, reasoning that if there was ever a cause to drain my data, stopping my best friend from spiraling was it.
She answered on the second ring. She was in her bedroom, her pink walls familiar. Nic looked pissed off. Unlike me, Nic wasn’t a crier—she had too much pride for that.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
She sighed. “I’m just disappointed. But what did I expect? The red flags were red flagging.”
“It doesn’t make it any less shit,” I said. “Honestly, he’s not worth your time. He’s gross. I didn’t want to say it before, but you could do so much better.”
Nic lifted her chin. “I know,” she said, sniffing.
“And that’s a lie because you did say it before.
It’s just a lot, I guess. I keep thinking the boys in Hull are dead—in London, it’ll be so much better.
But then I’m worried we won’t both be in London.
I’ve been holding on to the thought of us there, and if we aren’t together…
I don’t know if I did that well on my exams, especially the English Lit one, and it’s stressing me out.
” We would find out if we got into our first choices next week, a date that had slipped my mind.
“I know,” I said. “Even if we aren’t together, though, nothing will change. We’ll still be a train ride away. And there’ll be a new pool of boys wherever we go. Jack will be a very distant memory, thank God.”
She let out a mix between an exhale and a short laugh.
“I wish you were here and we could go to Donatello’s for pizza. That would make me feel better.”
“Go with Olivia?” I suggested. Olivia was our other friend—though I wasn’t as close to her as Nic was. They hung out more frequently.
“It’s not the same, but maybe…” It was like Nic had only just noticed my image on FaceTime. Her eyes narrowed and she leaned into the camera, like that might help her see my surroundings better. “Where are you? Did I hear a whistle blow?”
I flipped my camera around to the game of football that was ending.
“What is that? Rugby?” she said. “Damn, you’ve changed.”
“You do see they are children, right?” I said, laughing. “Ehsan is playing. It’s American flag football.”
“Wait, who is he?”
I realized that I had angled the camera toward Zain, who happened to be walking toward me.
“Oh God,” I muttered, turning the camera back around.
“He’s hot,” Nic continued, her face bright, momentarily forgetting her heartbreak. “If you’re into blond guys. Are you into blond guys?”
“I have to go. Talk soon?”
“Rox!” Nic called, but I hung up because Zain was now directly in front of me.
“Hey,” I said, feeling awkward.
“Practice is over, and I was wondering: Do you want to go somewhere to speak?” he asked.
I got up, brushing off some of the grass that had clung to my dress. Shoving my book into my bag, I said, “I’d like to, but I need to walk Ehsan back. And watch him ’cause my dad’s out of town. I’m like an unpaid nanny.”
“Damn,” he said, biting his bottom lip. Something about it made my heart beat wildly. I felt feral around him. Anything he did, I noticed. His voice lowered and he whispered, “I mean, we need to talk about things. I’ve got some leads. I was going to call you after practice. When are you free?”
I didn’t have a chance to answer because Ehsan was making his way toward us, with Dylan and another kid in tow. The other boy was Arab, with short black hair and a sweet smile. Since all the other boys were white, I figured he must be the kid Zain was watching over.
“You guys did great,” Zain said to them before slapping a hand on Ehsan’s back. “For your first time playing American football, I’m impressed. Dom wouldn’t have been able to score if you didn’t pass him the ball when you did.” He smiled down at my brother.
“Did you see me, Rox?” Ehsan said, grinning. He looked so happy—but no, I hadn’t seen his contribution to the goal. I’d been too busy trying not to look at Zain for the entire practice.
“I did,” I lied. “Well done.” I reached over and scrunched his hair—an act he clearly didn’t like, because he scowled at me. “Sorry,” I said quickly. “Well, shall we get going?”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Penny approaching.
She was wearing an immaculate Lululemon set and a baseball cap.
She handed the boys cold bottles of water, and I felt this strange competitiveness within me.
Like I wasn’t being a good guardian to Ehsan, which was ridiculous, because I wasn’t his guardian, and I didn’t think I should be comparing myself to a forty-year-old mom.
And yet. She even handed me a bottle, which I took with thanks, because the heat—and, more importantly, Zain—had left me parched.
“Everyone’s going to Cory’s for burgers,” Ehsan said. “Can we go?”
My eyes flashed to Zain. I wondered if he would be going, but before I could ask, Penny said, “I’d be happy to take the boys, if you want a bit of time to yourself. Or”—she looked between me and Zain—“whatever it is you feel like doing.”