Chapter 23 #2
“Well,” I began, “sometimes angels need humans, too.”
The air felt charged with something new this time.
I moved closer to the driver’s side. Zain put his hand over mine, which was still on his cheek.
He wrapped his hand around mine, bringing it down to his lips to press a kiss there.
His lips were soft, and gentle, and even though the kiss was chaste, I still felt a shiver run down my spine.
“When we first met,” he began quietly, “I tried to play it cool, but I instantly felt like I knew you. Even the way you smelled felt like home. A home I never knew.”
Nerves encircled me. I had never kissed anyone before, but right now, with Zain this close to me, saying words I never thought I’d hear, I wanted his lips on mine desperately, as though it could soothe the pain we were both feeling.
“I felt like I knew you, too,” I said slowly. “I mean, I was drawing you that day in the diner—I don’t know if you noticed.”
Zain’s eyes glittered. “I did.”
My cheeks began to burn, and I tried to look away, but he made a noise of disapproval.
“Roxana, don’t be embarrassed. Not with me, never with me.”
“Just because our past selves—”
“Fuck our past selves for a second.”
I couldn’t help it; a breathless laugh flew out of me.
“I shouldn’t do this,” he muttered.
“Do what?” I asked, though I knew from the way his eyes swept down to my lips and back to my eyes. The way he looked like he needed me. I was certain his expression mirrored mine.
He leaned over so our lips were only inches apart. I could feel his soft breath. Feelings I’d never had before stirred within me. He seemed to be thinking about what he would do next, weighing his options, keeping us in this moment, time ceasing to exist.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked in a whisper.
I nodded, yielding to him, desperate for him, just like all the versions of myself who came before me.
He put his hands on either side of my face, handling me like I was made of glass, his touch gentle but firm.
When his lips finally met mine, it was like I could breathe again, like I had been held underwater all this time and could finally, finally exhale.
His soft lips moved against mine, and it felt like our lips were molded for each other.
Weaving my arms around his neck, I closed any distance between us as the kiss deepened, and I sank into him.
Zain was a very good kisser. I had worried about how kissing for the first time would go, imagining awkwardness and clashing teeth.
But with Zain, it was nothing like that.
It was almost like once his lips were on mine, it was all muscle memory.
Our past lives were reminding us of what it was like to kiss each other.
I tugged his bottom lip between my teeth and gently bit down. I wasn’t even quite sure why I did it, but I thought it would be something Zain would like. He let out a small sound, which made me move my head back.
He gazed at me in something like awe, eyes wide. Rather than feel self-conscious, I reveled in the fact that I had this effect on Zain. Always had, now and then.
His hair was tousled, lips a deep pink, especially his bottom one.
Even looking at his mouth made my heart beat a little more quickly.
I moved my gaze downward, but even his chest—how broad it was, how it filled his T-shirt, the material strained against his strength—made the stirring in the pit of my stomach more pronounced.
I had never felt such a visceral pull to anyone before, certainly never wanted them with this kind of desire.
Even if my attraction to him was deeply rooted in my soul and began with my past selves, it was still mine. I couldn’t ignore it anymore.
He cleared his throat, the bobbing of his Adam’s apple the only sign that he was ruffled—that and the way his eyes continually flickered down to my lips, as though wanting more. Noticing this, I had to look away to calm myself.
“Can I see you tomorrow?” Zain asked. “I’m teaching football in the morning and have an afternoon shift at the diner, but in the evening?”
I didn’t mean to be dramatic, but I couldn’t wait twenty-four hours before seeing Zain again.
The idea of waiting twenty-four hours to kiss him was impossible.
This must have shown on my face, because he reached over and stroked my cheek.
His lips were quirked up in a smile, like he found my morose expression amusing.
“Why are you smiling like that?” I asked, accusatory.
“Sometimes I have no idea what you’re thinking, but other times you’re so expressive that I just know. Like now.”
I narrowed my eyes at him, though when he moved his hand away, I caught it in mine, interlacing our fingers together. Even holding his hand sent an electric current through me. He tightened his grip before pulling our interlaced hands to his mouth. He kissed the back of my hand once more.
When he released my hand, it felt like a part of me was missing, like my body was somehow imbalanced without his touch. I really didn’t think I’d be the type of person to think such a thing; it slightly freaked me out.