61. Chapter Sixty-One
From the moment I pump my wings to the long climb in thin, unforgiving air, I have one singular thought: get back to Kyrielle. Every inhalation reminds me of why my heart beats; why I’m here, next to him.
He hasn’t said a word to me since we entered the circle, and that’s fine. The less he’s in my mind forever, the better.
When we’re high enough, a sense of pressure forces us to stop. We hover, staring at one another. Below, the crowd is so small, they might as well be specks of dirt.
Closing my eyes, I send one more prayer to my mother and Fortuna, then dig right into my Fyre. It roars up, ready to destroy. My chest glows, and his does the same.
I want you to know that I loved you in my own way.
Snorting out smoke, I say, You should know I hated you in all the ways.
My father tilts his head to peer at me with the single amber eye he owns. Every time I see that empty socket, I’m grateful to Fynn all over again. You seem to be doing well enough. It must not have been so bad.
I’m better in spite of what you’ve done, old man. You tried to break me, and you couldn’t. I’m going to get this over with and live the rest of my life with a real family who actually love me.
He sighs. You keep telling yourself that.
The magyck around us builds, signalling the approach of what will be not a beginning, but an end. I let myself sink into the memories of hate, pain, fear, and terror. All of the tiny moments that lacerated my heart, chipping away at it until it was empty.
For the future he stole.
For the future I forged in spite of it.
I may never know who I’d be without what he did, but I know who I can be without him.
For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.
The horn blares. His words mean nothing at this point. Without hesitation, I slam into him, claws first, raking them down his belly. Fuck your sorries.