30. Chapter 30
30
“ Y ou’re exhausted, Soph,” Bastian said from the bed. “Come lie down with me.” When I didn’t respond, he offered in a sing-song voice, “I’ll scratch your back until you fall asleep.”
I glanced at him, offering him a quick, closed-mouth smile. His loyalty astounded me. He had stayed by my side this whole time, a silent but supportive shadow while I checked on Micah, then wandered the house after. I returned my stare to the window. How surreal it was to be back where it all began. Where so much of it ended.
Everywhere I turned, old memories waited to bombard me. Things I had forgotten until now, like returning to this place, had unlocked them. Happy moments turned bittersweet by the gruesome ending to the chapter of my life that had been set here.
In my old room, there was a window seat just like the one I was currently curled up on in the guest suite Bastian had been assigned. I used to spend hours nestled in pillows and cozy blankets, alternating between scouring over my picture books and staring out the window, searching for evidence of the outside world I had only ever heard others talk about. I wished I could go back in time and shake that little girl version of myself and tell her to enjoy the blissful calm, because soon enough, that fabled outside world would gobble her up.
“I’m afraid of what I’ll see when I close my eyes,” I admitted, my voice hushed.
Bastian didn’t respond immediately. “You mean the prophetic dreams?”
Sighing, I hugged my folded legs closer to my chest and rested my cheek on my knee, finally shifting all my attention to Bastian. “That, and the memories.”
“I wasn’t there—here—for the attack, but I’ve heard stories of how brutal it was,” Bastian said, sympathy softening his handsome features. “Veris lost many people that day too.” He spoke about the shifter king as if the vile man wasn’t his father. But then, I supposed there was more to fatherhood than a donation of sperm.
I scoffed, my lip curling into what was most certainly an ugly sneer. “Because we fought back?”
Bastian didn’t take the bait. “Because they left their packs,” he said. “Went rogue.”
My brow furrowed. I hadn’t known that, not that my ignorance was much of a surprise. I barely knew more about the immortal world than a human. But still, a rift in the House of the Sun seemed like a pretty damn important thing to me.
“The defectors laid low for a long time, living independently, but shifters can rarely resist the urge to pack up,” Bastian explained. “They call themselves the House of the Eclipse, ruled by a council rather than a monarch. Their numbers are still dwarfed by the House of the Sun, but Veris loses more and more people to them every year.”
I laughed under my breath. “I’m sure he loves that.”
“Yeah, not so much,” Bastian agreed. “He has the Sun Watch keeping an eye on them. If they grow too large, well . . .” Bastian released a low, bitter laugh. “I’m sure you can guess what he’ll do.”
My mouth fell open, and I shook my head. Such brutality was unthinkable. “He would slaughter his own people?”
“He no longer considers them his people,” Bastian countered.
At a loss for words, I simply stared at Bastian. He wasn’t only talking about his king; Veris was his father , the man whose DNA made up half of his own. What assumptions must people have made about Bastian his whole life, knowing his father’s vicious nature?
“That’s awful,” I finally managed to say, though the words were barely audible. I turned, and my feet slipped off the edge of the window seat, landing on the cool hardwood floor. “I’m so sorry, Bas,” I said, standing. I crossed to the bed and climbed onto the mattress, the oversized T-shirt I had swiped from the dresser in Bastian’s room after a quick shower bunching around my hips.
I wondered who had stocked the room with clothes for him or if the Moon Sanctuary was always filled with vacant rooms awaiting large, muscular men. But then, back at the loft, Gavin had proven himself to be overly prepared with a ready supply of clothing that was not only in my size but in my style. He was a good leader, easily and skillfully organized and effective at commanding the loyalty of those who followed him. There was much I could learn from him.
Bastian pulled back the covers to let me slide under, then wrapped an arm around me and tucked me in close against his side. His body heat soaked into my chilled skin, and I tucked my icy toes under his thigh.
“Gods, Soph, you’re freezing,” he exclaimed. But to his credit, rather than pull his leg away, he tucked my feet between his thighs, doubling the heat exposure.
“You are the opposite of your father,” I told him, splaying a hand on his bare chest and craning my neck to see his face. “You are noble and kind and gentle.”
Bastian snorted gently. “Did you forget about me lying to you and posing as your cat for months ?”
My lips curved into a faint smile. “I loved Sombra,” I said, lowering my head to rest on Bastian’s shoulder. “I miss him.”
“I’m right here,” Bastian murmured, his voice a quiet rumble through his chest.
“I know,” I said, exhaling heavily. “But it’s not the same.”
Bastian held his breath for a long moment, his body tensing. “Do you want me to shift?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head against him. My heart hammered in my chest as I considered my next words carefully. “I know Sombra’s not real—not my idea of him, anyway. It wouldn’t be the same as before. Besides . . .” I wrapped my arm around Bastian’s middle and pulled myself so close to him I was practically half on top of him. “I think I love you like this even more.”
He became very , very still. After a few heartbeats, he finally exhaled and relaxed beneath me. He pressed a kiss to the top of my head and murmured, “I love you too, Sophie.”