Chapter 12 Finn
TWELVE
FINN
Finn could remember his first fight like it happened yesterday. He was sixteen and had stumbled upon some street fight with Augustus. He didn’t know where they were other than outside of the city and they were drunk out of their minds.
It was an escape more than anything. His father had put his hands on him once again, nearly breaking his fucking arm, but stopping just before he did.
Finn didn’t care where he went, he just needed to leave for a moment.
So, he and Augustus grabbed the bikes they had hidden in the forest so his father wouldn’t find them, and they drove until they stumbled onto a group of people fighting like madmen beside a big bonfire.
They blended in with the crowd easily, drinking the cheap liquor and watching as the grown men beat each other mercilessly.
He was fascinated. And when enough of the alcohol had numbed the bruises on his body, he stepped forward when they called for volunteers for the next fight.
Augustus tried to stop him, but there was no use.
He needed that fight more than he had ever needed anything in his life.
When a grown man a little bit larger than his father stepped up, he forced himself to stand even taller instead of cowering down.
He remembered every hit, every kick, every drop of blood he had ever bled in his life.
The grown man sent a punch towards him, and Finn snapped.
He attacked the man with something he didn’t know he had inside of him.
It was like he fell into a blackout because when he finally came to, the grown man was on the ground unconscious. He felt disgusted with himself for hurting someone else, but there was something better deep inside that he chased instead.
Control.
He wasn’t the scared child forced to take a beating from his father. He was the future mafia Don controlling his own destiny.
That feeling was an addiction. Fight Night became a celebration, but fighting for him became a necessity.
It cleansed him of his demons for a little bit and usually left him with a sense of clarity.
Not tonight though.
Tonight, all fighting Raphael did was push Finn towards something else—something dangerous that he wasn’t supposed to even attempt to move towards.
Gianna Moretti.
He couldn’t stop thinking about her wide blue eyes and the small gasp that left her mouth when he slammed the useless waste of space onto the ring.
Finn was supposed to get revenge for her and be done with it. He was supposed to have cleared his mind and conscience after the fight, but for some reason, his heart still beat rapidly as if he hadn’t even fought at all.
His body was still craving a high and it seemed to have become resistant to the normal treatments.
Going to the gym to burn off the energy by beating the shit out of the punching bag did nothing.
If anything, it made him even more antsy.
He needed to move; he couldn’t stay stagnant.
He considered going out to the party that everyone else seemed to be at, but that seemed like a disaster.
In his current state, he felt like he could pick a fight with anyone that even looked in his direction the wrong way.
He considered leaving the house for a drive, but it still felt like something was missing.
Something pink and blonde.
Maybe a cold fucking shower would do it.
He left the gym, still in the shorts he fought in with no T-shirt to cover the rest of his body. They had specks of blood on them, as did his arms, but his first thought hadn’t been to shower when he got home.
He ran like a coward up to his room, making his way into the shower.
The water was cold, but he needed it. It shocked his entire system for a few seconds as he worked on fixing his breathing so his body could relax.
Eventually, he was able to and soon the cold water felt refreshing on his feverish skin.
That was exactly what he needed.
Until pink lips, blue eyes, and blonde hair entered his mind. His brain had to be completely rotten for him to be sitting there thinking about his sister’s best friend the way he was. A girl he had known for years, and a girl he hadn’t even looked at in that way ever before in his life.
But now that was all that consumed him.
Finn needed to stay as far away from her as he could.
He needed to make sure he didn’t look at her, didn’t talk to her, didn’t even breathe in her direction.
The next thing on his list had to be looking for an apartment.
He would talk to Luna and Valerio about getting some money so he could get a place far enough away from this house so he could escape the bullshit.
Maybe that would solve it all. Once he moved out and they weren’t forced to be under the same roof anymore, he wouldn’t be stuck in his current predicament.
He let his shoulders relax for a moment, but the raging hard-on between his thighs stood as stiff as ever. When was the last time he had fucked someone? Months ago?
That could have been another reason for why he was so pent up. He hadn’t had a good fuck in so long. That was going on his list too. Finding an apartment and someone to fuck. Both things would get his mind back in order, he was sure of it.
He got out of the shower, unwilling to let himself get anywhere near his dick while Gianna was still swirling his mind. That was a cliff he wasn’t willing to jump off.
Finn dried off before walking over to his closet, throwing on black jeans and a black hoodie. It was warm enough that he wouldn’t need much else for his ride tonight. He laced up his boots and walked out of the room, keeping his steps light.
All he needed to do was head straight for the stairs and grab his bike to get away for the night. As long as he could do that, he would be fine.
But a weird tingling started at the base of his spine when he realized that she might have been home.
Her door was at the very end of the hall, two doors down from his.
One of the rooms between them was occupied by Blair and the other was an empty guest room that had been used by Augustus once upon a time.
It was a blessing that there was so much space keeping them apart.
If he turned around, he could get to it in a couple of quick steps, which would be a horrible idea. She had either gone out with everyone else, or she was sleeping—considering how late it was into the night—so it was a good idea for him to mind his own business either way.
But his legs seemed to have a mind of their own.
He shouldn’t have felt so giddy walking up to her door. He leaned in to see if he could hear anything. It was silent. Not a single thing could be heard.
Perfect chance to walk away.
Instead, he grabbed the doorknob and twisted it open. One look to see if she was home or not. It was a good enough excuse in case anyone asked him what he was doing. Or perhaps it was just good enough to convince himself.
The door squeaked slightly as he pushed it open. His eyes found the bed instantly and saw a body there.
She was home then. She hadn’t gone out with everyone else.
There didn’t seem to be any movement to indicate that the sound woke her, so he took that as his chance to enter fully, once again surrounded by all the pink and white in the room.
She had a small flower night light plugged into the wall beside her bed that lit only that small corner of the room in a warm light.
It was … cute.
She laid on the bed, nearly buried under the pile of blankets she had. Her eyes were closed, and her lips were slightly parted.
She was fine. He was good to leave.
But he stayed standing there, looking at her.
Despite her hair being blonde, her eyelashes and eyebrows were still darker.
They stood out on her pale skin. Completely makeup-less, he could see the small freckles on her face, how they traced up her forehead, over her nose, and even onto her chin.
Finn even noticed the small mole by the side of her nose.
He could see just how pink her lips really were and that she didn’t always have that aggressive bite to her.
She could be serene and peaceful like she was at that moment.
He realized just how close he had gotten to her. The strawberry smell from whatever perfume or lotion she used was stronger now, as if she had just put it on.
Finn looked up at the ceiling, letting out a long sigh. What the fuck was he doing?
“Finn?”
His head snapped over to where her groggy voice came from. Gianna’s brows were furrowed as she squinted at him, trying to decipher if he was really there or not. She sat up, rubbing her eyes as Finn moved back.
Shit.
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
He cleared his throat. “I was just making sure you were okay. After the last party, you were kind of a wreck.”
“I didn’t go to any parties tonight.”
He knew that, but did she know he had been home all night?
“Oh, I wasn’t sure.” He could have done a better job lying, he just hoped that in her loopiness she wouldn’t question it any further. “I’ll let you sleep then. Sorry for waking you up.”
“Wait …” She reached for his arm. Her hand was cold compared to his, and his skin shouldn’t have lit up in goosebumps the way it did when she touched him. “I need to ask you something before you go.”
“What?”
She opened and closed her mouth a couple times as if she couldn’t come up with the right words. If he had to guess, she was probably going to ask about the fight.
His excuse? Shit, he wasn’t sure he had a good answer for it.
“Why?” she started.
“Why what?”
“Why did you fight Raphael? And please, don’t lie to me.”
Finn couldn’t help the snort that left his lips. “Since when do we only tell each other the truth?”
“I trusted you with my breakdown, I think we’re beyond having to lie about trivial matters,” she said. As if realizing she was still holding his hand, she let go, letting her hands grab the blanket instead.
He ignored the feeling of loss and instead tried to think of an answer. Why had he fought Raphael? He told himself it was for revenge, so maybe he could start there.
“He hurt you and you were upset. I would have done it for anyone,” he said.
“You didn’t have to do it at all. It wasn’t your problem to deal with,” Gianna said.
He knew that.
“But I did and it’s over and done with now. Just let it go.” He turned around to leave, but the sound of her jumping off the bed had him stopping in the middle of the room.
“Just let it go? I can’t just let it go. You publicly fought someone that I was seeing because he hurt me. That has implications to it,” she said.
Finn turned around now, nearly groaning when he saw what she was wearing. A matching pink tank top and shorts set. Nothing else. She should have stayed bundled up under her blankets.
“What sort of implications does it have?” he asked, raising his brow in question.
She shrugged. “I don’t know. That there might be something going on between us or that you’re a little too involved in your sister’s best friend’s life.”
“Well, anyone who thinks that is a fucking idiot.”
Her eyes narrowed at him. “Why would they be an idiot to think that?”
“Because there isn’t anything going on between us.”
“Of course not because rumor has it, you’re off the market.” The snarl on her face was apparent, but he was more hung up on what she’d said than anything else.
“What are you talking about?”
“Luna thinks you’re seeing someone and that’s why you chose to stay around,” Gianna said, crossing her arms. “So, if that’s true, not only do I feel bad for that obviously miserable girl, but I would rather not get involved in some weird throuple scandal with you and her.”
This time Finn couldn’t help the sweep of anger that rushed through him.
“That is exactly why I didn’t want to come back.
The bullshit rumors and the stupid judgmental comments.
I don’t have any secret girlfriend, so you can run back to my sister with that information and let her know, which I know you will.
I can also promise that any girl with me isn’t miserable, princess.
If you haven’t been fucked right in so long that you’re left feeling miserable, then just say that. ”
“Excuse me?” she asked, her cheeks burning red.
Finn stalked up to her, leaning in close so she could hear every word that came out of his mouth. “If that’s the case, you should be thanking me for what I did to Raphael. Obviously, he hasn’t been doing it right.”
“You’re disgusting. Even if that was the case, I wouldn’t fuck you even if you begged me for it,” she hissed, her eyes glazed over.
“Princess, if I ever fucked you, all you would be doing is begging.”
“Is that why you came into my room? Hoping I’d beg you?”
This time Finn was the one at a loss for words. Anyone would have backed down by now, given in or walked away from the conversation completely. But Gianna hadn’t. She pushed and pushed and drove him fucking wild.
From the way she pushed up against his body, he knew she could feel just how hard his cock was in his jeans.
Her eyes were a darker shade of blue, the pupils huge and her tone taunting.
She didn’t back off though—she kept her body against him to make sure he felt every single heavenly curve she had.
And fuck did she have them.
“Too bad that’ll never happen,” she whispered, giving him a little grin.
“You’re sure about that?” he asked.
“Positive.”
He watched the way her tongue came out, sliding over the smooth skin of her lips. His eyes followed the movement like a moth to a flame, completely mesmerized.
Nothing would ever happen between them. Not in the future, at least. But right now? Shit, why not?
“Fuck it,” Finn growled.
He wrapped his hands in her hair, pushing his lips against hers.
The spark that ignited when they met scared the shit out of him, but it felt too good to pull away.
Her lips were soft, and expecting her kiss to be gentle was completely wrong because she met every single bit of heat and anger that he gave her.
She pulled at his hair, wrapping her hands in it the same way he did to her. But he let his hands wander down the length of her neck, her spine, and the curve of her ass. Perfection. Every inch of her was absolutely perfect.
Had he ever been kissed like this? He didn’t think so. There wasn’t a single moment he could think of that compared to the thrill he had from her kiss, other than his first fight. The rush of adrenaline, of excitement, of feeling alive.
And when she pulled back, lips swollen and eyes wide, he knew he’d fucked up.
One kiss wasn’t enough. That was a high he needed to chase again.