Chapter 36 Gianna
THIRTY-SIX
GIANNA
Once Finn fell unconscious from Valerio’s hit to the head with his gun, the tension was unbearable in the room.
Gianna wanted it to swallow her whole. She was sick to her stomach seeing him lying on the ground and for betraying him the way she had.
Now, three people she cared about hated her. She had ruined everything.
Allister stared at the ground, and she was scared to know what he was thinking about.
No doubt he was putting things together, getting to the bottom of whatever it was that he thought was going on.
The cat was out of the bag now, and even if Gianna tried to lie her way out, there was no way anyone would believe her.
She could thank Finn for that.
“Allister?” she called out gently.
He raised his head, locking eyes with her. The usual warm blue of his eyes was now an icy shade of grey. He was the one that was logical and could see reason, but on the rare occasions when he lost it, he became someone completely unrecognizable.
“You lied to me,” were the first words out of his mouth.
Gianna shook her head frantically. “I didn’t want to lie. I wanted to tell you everything.”
“I gave you the chance to tell me. You chose to continue lying.”
“Allister, let me explain.”
He turned around and stormed out of the room. Dante followed after him immediately. Augustus, who Gianna had forgotten was even there, walked towards Finn and picked him up, hoisting him with some difficulty over his shoulder.
“Where are you taking him?” Luna asked, standing.
“Um, I’m going to put him to bed. I don’t think it’s right for him to continue laying on the floor,” he said, as if it were the most self-explanatory thing in the world.
“I’ll come with you,” Gianna said, wanting to leave the room and check on Finn. She could see the movements of his chest, but she wanted to be sure that he wouldn’t suffer any permanent damage after what Valerio did.
“No, you’re not going anywhere,” Valerio cut in.
“That’s not your decision to make,” she said.
“We need to talk,” Luna said. “And now is the perfect time to do so.”
Fuck. Yet another hurdle Gianna was not trying to face, now or ever. But the confusion on Luna’s face and the frown on her lips only added to the guilt that she was feeling. Now would be a perfect time for hell to freeze over, or for a meteor to strike Earth.
All she could do was nod her head and take a seat on the couch, crossing her legs before uncrossing them, wiggling around and trying to get comfortable. Her skin was itching from how awkward the whole situation felt.
“Would you give us a second?” Luna asked her husband. Her voice was disgustingly sweet, but he simply nodded and gave her a kiss on the forehead before leaving the room.
“Do you want us to leave too?” Cecilia asked, finally speaking up. “I really don’t want to, but I also completely understand.”
Gianna left it up to Luna. Cecilia seemed to support the relationship, so of course she wanted her there for moral support. Blair was no doubt playing moral police and would be arguing how terrible it was of Gianna to keep this from her best friend. As if she didn’t know that already.
“Stay. It’ll probably be better to have people here,” Luna said.
Gianna’s eyes widened. “If you’re going to ask Valerio to dispose of me, that’s fine. Just make it quick and don’t let anyone touch my shoes even in the afterlife.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Blair muttered under her breath.
“I’m not going to do that,” Luna said, shaking her head. “I just can’t understand why you didn’t tell me that you were dating Finn. I mean, you came to me telling me how much you hated him, begging me to take him back, and now this secret comes out? It’s so hard to believe.”
She ran a hand through her hair, letting out a deep exhale.
“Tell me about it. I wasn’t planning on anything happening.
Believe me, I fought it until the very end.
Hell, some might say I’m still fighting it.
But he snuck up on me so quickly, Luna. I swear I was trying to figure out something, but I needed to get my head in order with everything before I could tell anyone. ”
“But you told Cecilia and Blair.”
“I caught them out in public,” Blair said. “And it was actually this morning that I confronted her.”
“So then Cecilia knew the longest,” Luna said, sending an accusatory look towards her.
Cecilia put her hands up. “She forced me to go shopping and I got it out of her. I paid the price for it, believe me.”
“Finn wanted to tell you about it, but I didn’t let him.
I was so scared that you would end our friendship over this or that you would never talk to me again.
I can’t blame you if you still want to do that, but I just want to say that I can’t lose any of you.
I just can’t,” Gianna said, looking down at the ground.
“But if you need to let go of this friendship, then I can find a way to live with that.”
She heard footsteps and someone walking towards her. She expected to feel a hit, maybe someone pulling her hair, but instead, Luna got on her knees and grabbed Gianna’s hands in hers.
“I’m not leaving you, especially over something like this,” Luna whispered. “Do you care about Finn?”
Gianna nodded her head, biting her lip to stop the sudden flood of emotions that wanted to make their way down her face. “I do. Holy shit, I do.”
The smile she gave her was big and bright, but most of all it was genuine. “Then who am I to get in the way of that? I thought you knew by now that I’m not in the business of controlling love stories.”
“You’re genuinely not mad?”
“Mad? No. A little grossed out? Yes. He could have been a little less vulgar with his comments before Valerio knocked him out,” Luna said, scrunching her nose.
Gianna let out a real laugh, shaking her head. “Yeah, he could have. But I was an asshole.”
“And now they’re totally going to give him the full mafia tie-down lecture,” Blair said. “It’s kind of funny when you think about it. They think torturing him will get him to spill on the details of your relationship.”
“Is that what they’re planning on doing?” she asked, panic rushing through her.
“They’re seriously the most dramatic people I’ve ever met in my life,” Cecilia said. “Hate to break it to them, but her innocence is long gone if that’s what they’re trying to protect.”
Gianna slapped her on the shoulder, eliciting an “ow” from her. Despite hearing what could have been happening to Finn, she felt a huge sense of relief lift off her shoulders knowing that her relationship with Luna was fine.
For a moment, she wondered if it was an act.
If Luna was pretending that it was fine and then she would quickly turn it around and decide she wanted nothing to do with Gianna after all, but she had to let that type of thinking go.
The people in her life loved her, despite the fear that pushed her to such extremes to believe otherwise.
“Is Finn okay, though?” Luna asked her. “After what happened this morning, I didn’t know what kind of shape he would be in.”
Gianna nodded. “It was a lot. He had an emotional day, but he’ll be okay.”
If she hadn’t just completely destroyed everything by not standing up for him when she had a chance. God, she wanted to beat herself up. After everything, she was a coward. She was selfish and disgusting. He needed her and she completely let him down.
Luna’s shoulders relaxed and a breath of relief escaped her. “I’m glad. Thank you for being there for him.”
What did it matter when Finn would want nothing to do with her anymore?
Her brain was telling her that even if Luna and Allister stayed, she had lost Finn. Wasn’t that what she had decided on so long ago? That she was willing to sacrifice her relationship with him to save the others? So then why did she feel like ripping out her heart at the thought of him leaving her?
She couldn’t imagine a world without Finn in her life. She needed to talk to him, make sure he understood how sorry she was. She would prove it to him.
And she would hope he still chose her in the end.