CHAPTER SEVENTEEN #2
And gods, I hated him for it. But I also didn't. Because deep down, I knew if I let myself fall, he'd ruin me. Break me. I couldn't survive that. So fine. This was better. Safer.
"Okay, let's go, princess," he said, sliding into his stance.
And that was it. I snapped.
I went off at him. Every lesson he'd taught me over the last week—every strike, every kick, every furious spell—I hurled it all at him.
My body moved on instinct, rage-fueled, controlled chaos.
He side-stepped me easily, shadows flicking out like whips, knocking me back just enough to make me madder.
Then I came at him hard—and his shadows recoiled. They didn't strike; they pulled back.
"Yes, that's it—because your shadows fucking love me. They wouldn't hurt me like you do."
Silence. He froze. I blinked, my breath catching as I realized I'd screamed it through the bond.
His chest rose and fell with hard, heavy breaths. Something shifted in the set of his face. Then, low and rough, his voice answered through the same mental tether.
"Yeah," he said. "They fucking do."
We stood there—heaving, glowing, magic sparking at our feet in the mist.
"You're pissed," he added, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
Oh, hello. There you fucking are.
Gods, that smirk made me want to punch him.
I stood tall and refused to give him the satisfaction. No reaction. No weakness. I turned around—sharp, deliberate—and started to walk away.
But before I could take three steps, he was there. He grabbed my wrist and spun me around, his grip firm but careful.
"We're not done," he growled.
His voice was low and cold, his jaw tight. But his scent wrapped around me, dark spice and storm-soaked smoke, and gods, I wanted to melt into him. But I didn't. I ignored the ache in my chest, the part of me that was still reaching for him.
"No," I said, my voice flat and edged with ice. "We are. We're done, Asher."
His eyes flared, the silver turning to a turbulent storm. Shadows rose around him in a violent pulse, lashing around his feet.
I looked him dead in the eye.
"Jeremy's waiting for me."
I said it flatly. Cruelly.
The fury that roared through the bond made me flinch. It boiled through me, hot, sharp, and brutally possessive. But then, as quickly as the storm had risen, he let go.
He let me go. He didn't say another word.
I walked away, and the bond behind me didn't just quiet. It shattered.
···
I got back to my dorm, my heart aching like something had been carved out of me with a dull blade. I didn't even know why I let myself get this close—why I let the bond pull me under. I hated it. I regretted it. But gods, I didn't.
My brain was a mess of maybes and almosts and his damn shadows.
I opened the door, and the scent of earth and moss hit my nose instantly.
Jeremy.
He was sitting on my bed, casual and golden, a soft smile tugging at his mouth. "Hello, sweetheart," he murmured as he stood.
I closed the door, and his arms were around me before I could even draw full breath.
The bond might miss Asher—might ache for what it thought it needed—but Jeremy? He was right here. Smiling. Choosing me. I knew doing this wasn't entirely fair to him.
My soul was tethered to a shadow-wrapped commander who treated me like a mission, yet here I was, seeking sanctuary in the arms of my betrothed.
We weren't technically together anymore. Or were we?
My life had become a fucking disaster since the moment that bond snapped into place.
"How was training?" he asked, nuzzling his nose against mine.
I giggled despite the weight in my chest. "Fine," I said, slipping out of his arms and kicking off my soaked trainers. My muscles screamed at the movement, and I groaned aloud.
"Just fine?" he asked, raising a brow as he followed me to bed.
"Yup," I muttered, stretching out and propping my sore feet on a pillow. He sat beside me and immediately started rubbing them, his thumbs firm and warm. I sighed, a soft smile finally creeping onto my face.
Then, he started tickling me.
"Jeremy!" I laughed, swatting at him, but he didn't stop. His fingers slid along my ribs, my stomach, and down my arms until I was breathless and flailing. He moved over me, pinning me gently, his smile turning darker, more predatory.
"I missed you," he whispered.
And gods, I’d missed him too. We had barely seen each other all week. I hadn’t let myself, not after everything with Asher. Not when my heart still felt bruised and raw from a male, I had no business missing this much.
Maybe I didn’t need to heal tonight. Maybe I just needed something familiar. Something that didn’t hurt quite so fucking much. And Jeremy was right here.
So I kissed him. Hard.
My arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him down until there was no air left between us. His groan rumbled deep in his chest, vibrating against my mouth as he pressed me into the mattress.
His shirt was off in seconds, his warm, solid skin meeting mine. My sports bra followed—fingers desperate, mouths searching, devouring.
I needed more. I needed to be consumed. Asher had left me high and dry, wrapped in silence and confusion, but Jeremy knew exactly what he wanted. He wanted to claim me.
I pulled back just enough to catch my breath, my chest heaving. Jeremy's eyes widened, his grin turning lazy and hungry. I pressed my palms to his chest and pushed him gently back against the pillows, enjoying the way his breath hitched.
"Fuck," he muttered, his pupils blown, his eyes storm-dark and desperate.
I hooked my thumbs into my waistband and slid my leggings down, tossing them to the floor with a slow, deliberate movement. His gaze turned molten as it raked over every inch of my body like worship, lingering on the curves he knew by heart.
"Fuck, Ava…" he whispered, his voice thick and raw. "I can't get over how beautiful you are."
I leaned down, my hair spilling over his shoulders as I bit my lip, watching his jaw clench. I was going to use this heat to drown out the shadows, even if only for a night.
I leaned in, my lips grazing his ear as I whispered, "Then show me."
I captured his mouth in a kiss that was slow, deep, and desperate. I dragged my lips along his jaw, down the column of his throat, and across his chest, savoring the way his rough, real groans filled the small room.
My hand slipped beneath the waistband of his shorts, my fingers curling around his length.
He let out a deep, guttural growl, his hips jolting upward into my touch, seeking more.
The rest of his clothes vanished under our frantic hands and breathless need.
Then he grabbed me—strong, sure—and pulled me flush against his heat, guiding me down until he was deep inside me.
A sharp cry escaped my throat—I wasn't sure if it was his name or a prayer to a god, but it was raw.
He gripped my hips, his thumbs pressing into my thighs as I began to move. Slow at first, then gaining a frantic momentum. Each rise and fall pulled a broken sound from his lips. His hands slid upward, cupping my breasts, holding me as if he were trying to anchor his soul to mine.
Then, the bond woke up.
It didn't just hum; it thrummed with a low, pulsing electricity that made my vision blur. For the first time in an entire week, Asher's iron walls didn't just crack—they dropped.
Just for a moment, I felt it.
Lust. Need. A staggering wave of pleasure. It wasn't coming from me; it was coming from him.
He could feel this. He could feel us. He could feel me.
The realization made me moan louder, my body arching as I moved harder. Knowing he was a silent witness, knowing that my pleasure was feeding his own, made everything hotter. Deeper. More dangerously real. I didn't stop—and neither did the bond.
Jeremy's hands gripped me tighter, his lips marking my throat as his body rocked beneath mine, responding to every frantic movement.
But the bond... gods, it was a wildfire.
Asher was there. Not physically but woven into the very marrow of my bones through that molten magic. He wasn't shielding anymore.
To make matters worse, I felt the shift. He was projecting. He was doing it—projecting his own solitary moment into the bond, entwining his arousal with the act I was performing with another.
I came undone the second it hit me.
He was pleasuring himself—I could feel the sharp, dark ache of his rhythm folding into mine, sending jagged sparks up my spine.
He wanted me to feel every inch of his hunger.
And gods help me, I wanted him to feel mine.
It drove me to move faster, riding Jeremy with a fierce, burning need that bordered on possession.
My breath hitched with every thrust, every flicker of dark approval and predatory lust that pulsed through the tether.
Jeremy moaned beneath me, his hands everywhere, but it was Asher's presence—wicked, forbidden, and consuming—that made my body shatter.
Heat coiled tight, tighter, until the world exploded into white light. I was gone—convulsing around Jeremy, a scream ripping from my lips as I drowned in the wave. And through the connection, I felt a surge of delighted, wicked approval. He felt everything.
And then, I felt him come undone, too. His pleasure flooded through the link like a tidal wave of shadow, colliding with my own in a shared, stolen echo. It was dark, it was wrong, and it was the most intense thing I had ever felt.
My moan turned into a broken gasp.
When it was finally over, Jeremy pulled me into his chest, his heart thudding against mine as he kissed my cheek gently. He was smiling, his eyes soft with a peace I didn't share.
I couldn't speak. I couldn't even move. Because, gods help me—it didn't feel like I'd just been with one of them.
It felt like I'd been claimed by both.