Chapter 17 #2
Pushing down the rising sick feeling in my gut, I turned to face him directly.
“Yes. Ormond told me they were planning to humiliate Miss Fishwife and make an example of her.” To my horror, my voice cracked.
“But I swear to you, Damien, I had no idea they were going to do something as dangerous as sabotage her focusing crystals!”
I wanted Miss Fishwife to leave the academy. But I wasn’t a murderer… though I’d come uncomfortably close to becoming one.
“And you didn’t think to let any of the rest of us know that Ormond and his toad of a cousin were planning to disrupt the lab?” Damien’s voice was tight with controlled anger.
“What? And risk the Custodes turning on me? You know what they’d do if they suspected…” I let the sentence trail off, unable to voice my deepest secret aloud even in the privacy of my apartment.
Damien’s expression softened slightly. “I understand why you’re worried, Luk.
But people could have died. Miss Montoro’s still in the Imperial Hospital.
Miss Fishwife only survived because Mage-Instructor Zaurus managed to throw up a shield.
If he hadn’t done that, then she’d be dead and half the class would be in the infirmary. ”
Guilt twisted in my gut. “I know. I tried to talk to Ormond about it, but he just laughed and told me not to worry because he had everything under control.”
“Some control,” Damien muttered. He crossed to the window and stared out at the academy grounds. “And the worst part is, it didn’t even work. Miss Fishwife is still here, and it doesn’t look like she plans on running away anytime soon.”
I couldn’t help the surge of frustration that rose in me. Even nearly dying wasn’t enough to drive that stupid, stubborn island hick away!
If anything, the incident seemed to have strengthened her position among the commoner students. Even the second-year commoners were rallying around her now and flocking to her ridiculous tea circle.
“She’s like a barnacle,” I said bitterly. “Can’t kick her aside, can’t crush her by stepping on her.”
“She’s just trying to protect herself and the other commoners.” Damien turned to face me, his expression troubled. “The way you’re trying to protect yourself.”
The comparison stung.
“I am nothing like her,” I snapped. “She’s just an upstart troublemaker who thinks the rules don’t apply to her. I’m only trying to survive in a world that would destroy me if it knew the truth.”
“Only trying to survive? Really?” I rarely heard Damien being sarcastic. It alarmed me. He crossed his arms. “Because from where I’m standing, you’re helping the Custodes terrorize the commoners to prove you’re worthy to join their precious society.”
“I thought you understood what it’s been like for me,” I said, my voice rising despite my efforts to control it.
“Ever since Miss Fishwife somehow saw through my glamor, I’ve been living in fear that she or one of her little friends will report me to the authorities.
The Custodes are my best chance at protection.
If I’m one of them, they can’t turn on me. ”
“And if you decide you don’t want to be one of them?” Damien pressed. “What happens then?”
“It’s too late for that.” I looked away, unable to meet his eyes. “I’m exactly the kind of person they hate. A Fae halfling hiding behind a noble name. Someone who deserves to be exposed and humiliated.”
We lapsed into an uncomfortable silence. Finally, Damien sighed. “I’m worried about you, Luk. This thing with the Custodes… you’re becoming someone I don’t recognize.”
“The Custodes are just a means to an end,” I insisted. “Once I’m initiated, I’ll have their protection. I can stop worrying about being exposed.”
“At what cost?” Damien asked. “How many more ‘accidents’ are you willing to condone? How many more people are you willing to see hurt?”
The question hung between us. Because the truth was, watching Miss Brunisenda being dragged away, hearing her desperate pleas…
One word from Miss Fishwife, and I’ll be next.
Ormond and the rest of the Custodes would turn on me in an instant, eager to prove their loyalty by exposing the Fae halfling in their midst.
I needed the Custodes to survive. Whatever they asked of me would be worth the protection they offered.
I needed to drive Talisa of Bernswick from the academy before she used what she knew against me.
But so far, nothing had worked. Not any of my carefully arranged pranks. Not Ormond’s lab explosion, not even spending three days in the infirmary.
If anything, those events seemed to have only strengthened her resolve and increased the number of her supporters.
Which left me with a terrible choice: continue down the path the Custodes had set for me, possibly being forced to arrange further “accidents” with more injuries. Or step back and risk having the Custodes’ attention turn to me instead.
Either way, I was trapped.
“I should go,” Damien said finally, breaking the silence. “I’ve got that essay due tomorrow.”
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. As he reached for the door, I called after him, “Damien? You don’t hate me, do you? We’re still friends, right?”
I hated myself for asking… no, begging him not to abandon me.
He paused, his hand on the doorknob. For a long moment, I thought he might not answer. Then he nodded. “Of course. I’m still your friend, Luk. That hasn’t changed.”
But as the door closed behind him, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something had changed.