Chapter Four #2
And I knew from Cress that he’d been her protector and staunch companion when she’d been livin’ in the hellfire of mournin’ me.
“Thanks for lookin’ after Cress when I was gone,” I said low, heavy with gratitude for him and for whatever force had put this displaced Latin orphan in our path. “Means a lot you stepped up for her.”
He shrugged, the expression mature and casual like he was a grown man who knew the score. “I love her.”
“Yeah,” I tried to say, but all that came out was air. “Yeah, I got that. You know, I love you too, yeah?”
He nodded again, only this time there was a slight tremble in the hands he shoved under his armpits across his thin chest. “Yeah, I mean, you’d have to love us a lot to spend a whole year away from us.”
I didn’t correct his timeframe because the sentiment was the damn truth, and I couldn’t believe a nine-and-a-half-year-old got that. It pained me that he did.
“Yeah, but I’m talkin’ ’bout you.” I thrust my finger at him. “I love you, Ares. I love you so damned much that it hurt me every day not seein’ ya.”
A tremble again, this time in his lower lip. He rolled it between his teeth and took a deep breath.
“You still love me?” I whispered hoarsely, clearin’ my throat. “Even though I had to leave ya?”
It was a question for Ares, but I meant it for everyone standin’ under that roof. For the first time since I entered the house, I let my eyes really sweep the faces of the family starin’ down at me.
Nova with his tattooed arms banded across his chest, feet shoulder-width apart, and muscles taut like he was bracin’ for impact.
Axe-Man holdin’ Cleo close, not so much to comfort her but like a child clutchin’ at a bear to comfort himself.
Bat and Dane, pressed tight shoulder to shoulder like they were usin’ each other to keep themselves upright. Cress had told me about Lila’s brother returnin’, but seein’ him for the first time in years was a shock, a good one.
Curtains with a hand on Boner’s shoulder as the latter dashed at the tears spillin’ freely down his face.
Buck so red in the face from the effort not to cry that Maja finally whispered for him to just let it go already, and Priest alone in one corner lookin’ totally unaffected, but for the angle of his body leaned toward me as if buffeted by a high wind.
Kodiak jerked his chin at me in a way that was somehow fuckin’ profound, and Blade, Heckler, Wiseguy, Lab-Rat, and Skell all echoed the move from over his shoulder.
Cyclops thumped his fist to his chest, and Smoke smiled so wide I could count three of his gold teeth.
Eugene and Wrath, the two men I’d trusted with my secret, regarded me with sombre eyes that said they knew the toll I’d taken for them, and they were fuckin’ sad and deeply grateful for it. Lysander, who’d Cress had finally confided in when he threatened to drive to Sitka, mouthed, “Thanks.”
And Zeus, president of them all, beamed at me as his tears ran silent tracks down his cheeks into his smile. He held his wife close to him, his twins tucked up safe in her arms and fuck, it burned in me like a flame to know I’d given that back to him.
I looked back at Ares with wet blurrin’ my vision so bad I could barely see him.
He took a long time to answer, but I didn’t rush him. It wouldn’t have been fair, and I wanted his honest answer.
It made me realize he wanted to give it, not just for him, but for everyone.
Ares had lived at every single one of these men’s houses at one point or another, or spent time on the back’a their bikes or out to dinner with them. He was our Fallen son, and now, it was up to him to welcome me home again.
When he suddenly stepped forward, I almost flinched, then held so still I tried to slow my heartbeat as he stopped inches away. Deliberately, he reached up to frame my face in his hands the way he’d seen Cress do to me countless times ’fore I went away.
And he said, so slow, enunciated so cleanly there wasn’t even a trace of his accent. “Yeah, King, I love you. Never stopped.”
The roar of blood in my ears drowned out the sound of the crowd around us dissolvin’ into tears and laughter. I focused on draggin’ that little man into my arms and crushin’ him to my chest, laughin’ with giddy, sweet fuckin’ relief as I swung him up when I stood.
He was grinnin’ too, laughin’ slightly as he slapped at my cheeks and said, “Don’t leave again, ’kay?”
“I won’t,” I promised, and I knew I’d do everythin’ in my power to never leave him or Harleigh Rose or Zeus or a single one of my brothers ever fuckin’ again.
Finally, people surged forward, surroundin’ us in heart-rendin’, fuckin’ beautiful chaos.
My brothers slapped me, punched me lightly, pinched me, and pulled me like a piece’a fuckin’ dough, but I let them.
I fuckin’ relished it ’cause this was them, and this was us.
Fightin’ together, for each other. They’d been fightin’ their own battles I’d had to miss, but like brothers in arms, they got that I’d been fightin’ for them when I left.
They got that none of us would ever stop, and almost every single one’a them woulda done the same in my place.
“You fuckin’ bastard,” Nova growled as he crushed me in a hug.
“We all got a damn tattoo for you,” Boner complained as he socked me in the shoulder, then hugged the part of me Nova didn’t clutch.
“It’s a sweet tatt, though,” Nova pointed out with a smug grin. “Obviously.”
“Obviously,” I agreed as Buck barreled through everyone and picked me up against his massive chest, squeezin’ the air out of me.
“My fuckin’ boy is back!” he roared.
A cheer went up.
Behind me somewhere, my Queenie laughed.
She did it long, and she did it proud as I held some kinda biker receivin’ line acceptin’ the love’a the men I’d left behind and missed like a phantom limb.
And she did it ’cause, like most women, she loved that she was right.
My brothers were happy to welcome me home.
It was late.
Or early.
Dawn was more than a thought on the horizon, a grey smudge at the dark edge of night, and the party was still in full swing.
It was cause for celebration.
The babies and kids were asleep upstairs or taken home by Old Ladies. Some people dozed around the house, but most everyone was up still drinkin’ and shootin’ the shit ’cause there was a lot to say, and we weren’t nearly done sayin’ it.
I was talkin’ to Wrath and Dane, laughin’ over our differin’ stories of returnin’ from the dead when I heard the gasp. I’d know it anywhere.
My gaze shot to Cress who’d been stolen by her brother for the majority of the night.
Sander hovered over her now, a hand on her hip to steady her, his face a scowlin’ mask of concern.
Axe-Man was talkin’ to her, calm and in control as per usual.
When I caught his gaze, he jerked his chin at me and ushered my wife to a couch to sit down.
Instantly, Maja, Loulou, and Tayline descended around her.
“Probably just pains, man,” Bat told me, steppin’ up beside Dane and droppin’ an arm around his shoulders. “Amelia had ’em with Shaw and Steele. Don’t worry about it.”
“Only you could get your wife pregnant from beyond the grave,” Boner joked as he joined us.
“That doesn’t even make sense,” Curtains argued as he pushed into the circle ’cause he and Boner were a packaged deal.
Boner rolled his eyes. “It’s a metaphor, dude.”
“Don’t think you know what a metaphor means,” I told him with a grin.
He shrugged. “You think they call me Boner ’cause’a my big brain? My genes endowed me with somethin’ a lot more important.”
Wrath shoved him in the head. “Some’a us got both, idiot.”
“At least I know how to use mine,” he retorted even though it was a low blow, given Wrath lost the love’a his life a few years back and wasn’t likely to get over it.
It shocked the fuck outta me that my broodin’ friend glared at our resident goofball for a second, then cracked a smile, tuggin’ him into a headlock. “Think you’re a case of quality over quantity.”
“I can vouch for that,” Curtains said with a grimace. “Livin’ with him is like a constant parade’a women. And trust me, some’a them are not grade A beauties.”
Boner shrugged again, completely unperturbed by our ribbing. “I got a healthy libido. I don’t gotta be ashamed’a it.”
“Damn straight,” Lila interjected from over his shoulder, wrapped up in Nova’s arms where they’d been makin’ out against a wall for the past twenty minutes.
It was gonna take a beat to get used to seein’ those two together like that even though it’d been a long time comin’.
“I fuckin’ missed this,” I muttered, drainin’ the last of my beer, then handin’ it off to Ransom, who was suddenly at my side with a fresh one like a good little Prospect.
“Yeah.” Bat shot me a sad smile, one that spoke of his own tragic history. “Yeah, man, so did we.”
It occurred to me for the third time that night that Priest hadn’t approached me for a reconnect. It panged in me ’cause I’d known the guy most’a my life, and I loved him as much as he’d ever let me.
But I remembered Cress’s sage words about lettin’ people come to me when they were ready to let go’a the hurt, and I resolved not to let his apathy ruin the night. It was his nature not to care, and it was in mine to care too much. Maybe we could meet in the middle one day soon.
There was another groan from the couch followed by a sharp chorus of gasps and then Tay’s voice callin’, “King!”
My heart stopped even as my body leapt forward, cuttin’ around obstacles and people until I was in front of that couch where my wife was sprawled wearin’ a crown of sweat and a grimace.
Between her legs, the leather of the cushions was dark with moisture.
I looked up into those whiskey eyes I loved so well and read panic.
“I’m sorry,” she said as she gripped Sander’s hand too tightly. “But I think the stress and everything…I don’t know! I don’t know…” Tears seeped from her eyes, and she hiccoughed lightly on a sob. “I think I’m having the baby early.”