17. CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Zandren
My heart ached for Omaera and her pain.
If I could take it away and make it my pain, I would in an instant.
But that wasn’t how things worked. Not even if we mated, could I absorb her pain. I would certainly feel it more intensely than I did now, but I wouldn’t be able to diminish it or take it on myself.
How were mates supposed to protect each other if we couldn’t take away their suffering?
So I did what I could.
I held her.
I made her tea.
I let her cry as hard and as loud as she needed to.
I offered to shift into bear form again if she preferred, but she simply shook her head and snuggled in tighter to my embrace.
At some point, she fell asleep against me, and despite the circumstances, I’d never felt happier or more whole than to have my mate asleep in my arms.
Maxar and Drak were making calls, so it was up to me to protect Omaera.
I carried her to bed and when I went to lay her down, she stirred, blinking open those beautiful, moss-colored eyes. “Lay with me, please,” she croaked, reaching for me and wrapping her arms around my neck.
Grunting, I nodded, and she scooted over to the far side of her queen bed. I curled up around her. She fit perfectly against my front, all tucked in, safe.
“What if we’re too late?” she asked, her voice raspy.
“We’ll find her,” I said, squeezing her tighter. “You felt your aunt’s pain, right? You knew when she was still alive?”
She nodded, then spun around to face me.
“Can you feel her?” I asked. “Can you feel Gemma?”
Closing her eyes, she took a few deep breaths. All I did was watch her, drinking in her beauty, and not for one second taking for granted how lucky I was to hold her and be her mate. She blinked open those gorgeous eyes, and they flooded with tears. “I can feel her fear. She’s alive. But she’s terrified.”
I bobbed my head and held her tighter. “Hold on to that feeling. As much as it hurts you to feel her fear, at least we know if she is scared, she’s still alive.”
Omaera swallowed and nodded.
Blinking up at me as one tear fell down her cheek, she cupped my jaw the way I often did with her. I rarely shaved, and my beard was coming in thicker, perhaps slightly unruly too. She stroked the wiry scruff. “I had sex with Drak.”
“I know.”
“We didn’t mate-bond though.”
“I know.”
“Are you . . . are you upset?”
Staring into her sweet, yet fierce gaze, all I could do was smile, then press a kiss to her forehead. “No, Little One. I’m not upset. Jealous . . . envious, perhaps. But not upset. He is your mate as well. And if it was what you needed at the time, then I am in no position to be upset or judge.”
Her face scrunched up. “It . . . it’s all so strange. He is insufferable.”
I chuckled deep in my chest, jostling us both. “That he is.”
“And has some serious boundary issues.”
“No argument there.”
“And yet, I feel this innate pull toward him.”
“It’s probably part of the blood lust. But also because you’re Fated Mates. ”
Her hand pressed to my chest. “I feel it with you too. And with Maxar. It’s strongest with you though. And unlike with Drak, where I resist it for as long as I can, with you I . . . I want it. I want more of it. You’ve been nothing but patient and kind. You take care of me like only two other people in my life ever have. I feel safe with you.”
“I would lay down my life for you, Little One. I would kill every last soul on earth for you. Just ask.” I swallowed. “And the thought of someone hurting you . . .” A deep growl rattled my chest. “I can’t even . . .”
Her thumb ran back and forth over the whiskers on my jaw. “You’re such a Pooh Bear, but with a murderous streak.”
“I only kill when the ones I love are in danger.”
“You love me? You barely know me.”
“Doesn’t matter. What I feel in my soul . . . in my heart is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. It’s consuming. It’s . . . it’s like a drug and all I want is more and more. I feel so whole, so complete when I’m with you. Even just lying here beside you fills my heart with immense joy.”
Her smile was small but endearingly sweet. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner, Prince Zandren Thorne.”
“And you’re what I’ve dreamed about for two centuries, Queen Omaera Playfair.”
We bowed our heads together until our foreheads met. Our free hands found each other, and we entwined our fingers.
“Are you ever going to kiss me?” she asked, her forehead still against mine.
I smiled. “It’s all I’ve wanted to do since the first moment you called me Pooh Bear.”
Tilting our heads in the opposite direction, we pulled our foreheads away just a little, and my lips found hers. The kiss started out sweet, almost timid, but in mere moments, her arms were around my neck and I held her hip and jaw, coaxing her mouth open wider so my tongue could explore.
The flash of lightning that cracked into the room was less dramatic or intense than the one a few days ago, but we both felt it. It was as if it hit me and bounced into her. I hoped that I absorbed most of the shock .
She gasped and broke the kiss, locking eyes with me in wonder. “What just happened?”
“I . . . I think we mate-bonded.”
“B-but doesn’t that involve sex?”
“I thought so.”
“I . . . I haven’t had a lot of boyfriends in my life. I don’t trust easily. I don’t let people in. And even though I don’t know what falling in love feels like, I don’t think it feels like this.” She swallowed and her eyes shifted back and forth across my face. “From everything I’ve ever watched on television or read in books, falling in love is supposed to feel like this wild roller coaster, sickening but exciting. Consuming.”
I wasn’t sure where she was going with this, so I kept my expression neutral but open, even though my heart relentlessly battered my ribs in anticipation.
“This doesn’t feel like that. With you, I feel seen. I feel known. You take care of me. You anticipate my needs. You don’t push, and you respect my boundaries. And although it’s all happening lightning fast—” She paused and chuckled at her choice of words. “I don’t care. I haven’t fallen in love with you. I’ve gently, perfectly, slid into it. Like two puzzle pieces that just . . . fit.”
My whole body erupted with joy and I’m sure I was smiling like an idiot.
“When we kissed, all I could think of was . . . I think I could be with this bear forever. If he’s shown me who he really is, then I’m okay with forever.”
“I’m not perfect,” I said. “But you’ve seen all of me.”
“Not the murderous side yet.” Her smirk was playful.
“No. Not that side.”
“So . . . are we like, really mate-bonded now?”
I shrugged. “It’s a first for me too. I didn’t even know an emotional bond was a possibility.”
“It seems I’m all kinds of firsts in this secret world, hmm?”
Nuzzling her neck, I kissed her. “I kind of like that we bonded this way instead.”
She lifted her head. “Really?”
That made me grin again. “Okay, well, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to have sex.” My erection pressing against her hip said as much. “But I’m okay waiting until things settle down. You’re my Bonded Mate now. That’s what matters.”
Nibbling on her lip, she glanced at me. “I do still have my period. And I have a tampon in. But, um . . .”
Smiling like a Cheshire Cat, I caught her wavelength. Wait, was I reading her mind? Was the Bond that fast to start giving me her powers and her mine?
She flipped over to her back and I bent my head, pressing kisses along her neck, down over her cropped shirt, to her belly. I lifted the hem of her shirt slightly to reveal a tattoo of purple roses that looked wet, surrounding a skull inked onto her ribcage. I kissed that too, while I unclasped the button of her jeans and tugged down the zipper.
I pushed my fingers down beneath the elastic of her cotton boyshort panties, beyond the trimmed downy hair until I found her wet center. Her hips bucked as I gathered some of her arousal before dragging my fingers back up to her throbbing clit.
“Kiss me,” she whispered. “You’re really good at that.”
Grinning, I dropped my mouth to hers as I ran wide, rough, concentric circles around her clit.
She moaned into my mouth, and her hips leaped off the bed. My cock strained against my jeans, but I shoved down my own needs. This wasn’t about me. This was about Omaera. She needed this.
And any part of her that I could get, I would take and be the most grateful bear in the world. We had a lifetime now. Eventually, we would be together, but at the moment, I needed to take her mind off the pain of Gemma and Delia and help her find a little joy. A little pleasure.
Her arms looped back around my neck and she tugged me down to her, kissing me deeper. Her tongue massaged me, exploring my mouth, pulling growls and rumbles from deep in my chest. My fingers picked up speed on her clit, gathering more of the slick silk from her center as I rubbed her pulsing clit. It swelled beneath my touch and her hip lifts became more erratic. She mewled and whimpered into my mouth, grappling at me, pulling me closer. Her breathing increased and hot puffs from her nose hit my upper lip as she rode my fingers.
I broke the kiss and dropped my mouth to her neck, biting her just hard enough, but not too hard. Not enough to break the skin. I vaguely noticed the small puncture marks from Drak’s fangs, but ignored them. This moment was about Omaera and me. Nobody else was welcome.
The moment my teeth pressed against her sweet flesh, her back bowed and she broke with a sharp cry. Her clit throbbed and swelled even more as fresh arousal gushed from her center. I gathered more, continuing to rub circles around the pulsing bud. She gripped my hair and hauled my face away from her neck, capturing my mouth again in another kiss. She bit my bottom lip and tugged before diving back in and sucking on my tongue. I groaned and flicked her clit hood with the nail of my thumb and her leg spasmed. Smiling against her mouth, I did it again. Her leg twitched.
This woman, this demoness, my queen was my everything now.
Her pleasure was my priority. Her life was all that mattered to me.
Her chest heaved and her whimpers into my mouth had my cock pressing harder than ever against my zipper. Once her muscles relaxed and she collapsed back to the bed, I peeled my lips from hers, smoothed the hair away from her face, and kissed her cheek. “My queen. My mate.”
Her smile was as sweet and sleepy as could be. “My prince. My mate.”
I was stupidly giddy from that comment and it must have come through in my smile.
Grinning, she sat up and rolled me over to my back, straddling me and opening the button and zipper of my jeans. But I was quick to grab her hands and stop her. “No. This isn’t . . . I don’t expect.”
“I know,” she said, pulling my pants down so my cock sprang free. “And that’s why I am.” Then she dropped her head and took my cock in her hot, wet little mouth.
My fingers found her hair, and I held her in place as she ran her tongue up from the base of my shaft to the crown and back, swirling the tip and giving it a playful extra lick.
I groaned and bucked up with my hips, encouraging her to go deeper. To see how far down her throat she could take me. I knew I was big. In all ways. Tall, broad, and with a big cock. Most bear shifters were big. So I’m sure there was some level of trepidation on her part as to how we’d even fit or whether she could even take me.
From everything I’d heard, the Fates didn’t fuck around and they intervened when necessary to make sure that no mate was ever hurt or unable to be with their mate that way.
But she was raised human, and was half human. So maybe things would take some time and easing in to. Exploring each other the way we were now was A-OK by me though. We had a lifetime together to perfect things. Right now, we were just . . . connecting.
She deep-throated as best she could, but even when I hit her tonsils, there was still another two inches, at least, left outside her mouth.
“Jesus,” she said, after she came up for air. “That thing’ll never fit inside me.”
Chuckling, I cupped her jaw and guided her back down. “The Fates will help.”
“I sure as hell hope so. It’s like a python.” She brought me back into her mouth, using her hand to help stroke and not ignore the base.
I was close in seconds. The sight of my mate’s head bobbing in my lap, her hot, wet little mouth surrounding my cock, it was pure perfection. I’d already been close when she came from my fingers, so it took no time at all for me to finish now. My grasp on her hair tightened as the tingles in my lower belly intensified, the warmth spreading higher and lower until my balls cinched up against my taint and I finally let go.
The way the back of her throat hugged and contracted around my crown, swallowing as I came, filling her mouth with my seed, was nothing short of earth-shattering. Maybe it was that she was my mate, but I’d never had an orgasm quite like that. And it just kept going. It spread from my cock and balls down to my toes, causing them to curl. Then up into my arms, my fingers tightening until they locked in her curls, holding her in place. My brain short-circuited and either that was angels singing or a weird ringing in my ears. I growled and huffed with each surge of pleasure until I was spent and boneless. I collapsed, depleted of energy, and all brain cells, against the bed, releasing her hair and letting my arms flop out to the sides.
She released me with a wet pop, sitting up and wiping her lips discreetly with the hem of her shirt.
My hand came up, and I stroked her tattoo. “What’s the significance of this?” I liked the look of her straddling me like this.
Nibbling on her lip, she glanced down at my thumb on one of the roses. “Delia told me that Omaera means rose in my father’s language. I Googled and searched for the language, but came up with nothing. But it still brought me comfort to know that one bit of information about him. About where I came from. The skull is because I like skulls, and also because both my parents are dead. Morbid, but whatever.”
“It’s sexy,” I murmured, struggling to keep my eyes open.
She slithered down my body and lay on top of me. My hand cradled her ribcage where the tattoo was. “You’re so warm, and surprisingly comfy.”
I kissed her crown. “Sleep now, Little One. Nothing we can do but wait.”
Pressing a kiss to my chest, she nestled in, and I wrapped my arms around her protectively. “I’m glad we mated.”
“Me too.”
“I’m still not sure your dick’s ever going to fit though.”
I chuckled enough to shake us both. “We’ll go slow. Remember, we have a lifetime together now. Eternity. No need to rush things.”
Her sigh echoed the contentment in my heart. “An eternity . . . I think I’m okay with that.”
I was more than okay with it. I was over the fucking moon.