34. Belle
Belle
I’m numb, my body crashing as the adrenaline wears off. And yet, Neverhaven keeps on spinning, or floating, or however the physics of this strange island work.
The Shadows touch their necks, pulling out their disconnected Darlings from under their high-necked coats.
Rosalia bursts in, her broken Darling clamped in her hand, yelling orders at the stunned men in black. She yells at me, too, but I don’t register her directions.
More people enter. I barely notice until they’re pulling Rourke and Peter away. I cling to them, bending forward to tuck my hands under their chests. “No!”
Rosalia’s suddenly in front of me, clasping my face in her delicate hands. “Belle, you did well. They’re going to be okay, but they need to rest. You need to rest.”
I nod aggressively, registering my exhaustion yet still losing my coherence. “I’m going with them.”
“Okay.” She motions for men I don’t recognize to carry Rourke and Peter’s unconscious bodies. Rosalia supports me as I rise to my feet, and she leads me out of the dining room.
Time passes. Scenery shuffles by. Somehow, I make it to a bed, which is good because I’m tired, so tired.
I’m still outside my body, the facts ruminating behind my skull.
I killed someone. A bad someone, but a someone nonetheless.
I wanted to watch him die, reveled in it, but now the weight of it presses on me.
The crown presses on me. The kingdom presses on me.
I could have lost Rourke and Peter. I was so close, so distracted, and I almost lost my chance to strike.
I’m angry at myself, a stupid feeling since I won.
I should be proud, but the fight isn’t over.
There’s still so much to figure out. But right now, I’m too tired to wrap my head around what comes next.
All I can do is close my eyes and fall asleep.
I don’t remember my dream, but I wake screaming, sweating, grabbing my neck, and relaxing once my hands only meet damp flesh.
I look around. I’m in Rourke’s room. His familiar scent washes over me, and I turn to find him asleep next to me.
I fall over his chest, listening to his heartbeat.
My tears leak against his thin shirt, utterly relieved that he’s alive.
I sit up, run my hands down his jagged jaw, and smooth down his hair.
“Rourke,” I whisper, but he doesn’t stir.
I kiss the purple bruise at his brow before lifting up his shirt to check for more injuries.
I hiss at the sight. He’s covered in a dark patchwork.
It’s bad. I need to cover him in more of my blood to get him to heal, but I can’t do that now.
If he looks like this, Peter must be in worse shape.
I have to find him and make sure he’s okay.
He was alive when I saw him last, before I put my blood over him.
He’s likely on the mend, but I need to be sure.
I check Rourke’s pulse one more time before flinging my legs over the edge of the large bed.
I notice my crown on the bedside table. Someone must have removed it and my Darling before changing my clothes, since I’m wearing a simple white dress rather than the finery from the night before.
Or I took them off myself and just can’t remember.
The lapse in my memory startles me. So much about this new reality startles me, but I can’t focus on the building pressure, or I won’t leave this bed.
“Wait, is it left or right?” I ask the hollow halls as I attempt to put the pieces together of the location of Peter’s room.
One wrong turn and I find myself in front of the large glass windows of the greenhouse, catching Rosalia at the center of it all. I must find Peter, but first, I need answers.
The green grass crunches under my bare feet. Rosalia sits amid a cluster of rosebushes, green but still lined with death.
“Hey!” I call as I approach.
She whips her head to me. “You’re up.”
“Where’s Peter?” I ask, attempting to keep the anxiety out of my words, but failing.
“He’s fine, still unconscious, but he’s healing. He’s in his room. Rourke woke as we were transporting him, clung to you and wouldn’t let go. He’s a hard man to refuse. Even injured.” She chuckles.
I nod, my shoulders falling back.
“Come sit.” She pats the grass next to her.
“Um.”
“I promise, he’s fine. You need to take a breath. You look like you swallowed a bag of marbles.”
I nod and reluctantly drop next to her, folding my legs underneath.
“Now breathe.”
I do as I’m told, letting my head fall back and looking up at the blue sky through the clear glass. She’s right. The hard part is over. I’m free, both of my boys are alive, and Pan is dead. I should revel in my accomplishments, but there’s still so much uncertainty ahead.
I return my attention to Rosalia as she finger-fucks her flower. I’m about to ask her what she’s doing, the first in a long list of questions, but before I can, the dull flower in her hand bursts into green brilliance. “What the hell?”
She smiles. “It’s been so long.”
“Did you just bring that flower back to life?”
She nods. “Thanks to you.”
“What did I do?”
She raises a brow, inspecting me like I must have hit my head. “You broke our Darlings.”
“Right, but does everyone in Neverhaven have powers?”
She shakes her head, giving me a look as if I should know this by now. Of course, I should. There’d be no point in capturing me if everyone were magic. “So…” My mind puts together the details. “You’re a pixie?”
Her face lights up with her smile, and she nods.
“Wait, what? What was the point of dragging me from Earth if Lord Pan had a pixie living in his house?”
“We come from different family lines. Mine decided to keep our powers a secret centuries ago, before the Blood Harvest.”
“The Blood Harvest?” Of course, it’s not the first time I’ve heard of it, but I still don’t know the details.
“I wasn’t alive, but I heard pixies were snatched from their homes, hoarded away in manors, and drained of every last drop.
They discovered a way to control us. They had their Darlings, created by power-hungry Alchemists; all they needed was our blood to bind their subjects.
It happened so quickly that not many got away. ”
I shiver thinking of my mother. She must have been smart to flee while pregnant. Is it possible to miss someone you don’t remember? I ask my next question before getting emotional. “But your family escaped?”
She shakes her head. “We weren’t drained, but we were as imprisoned as any regular born person. We couldn’t even use our powers to fight, or we risked exposing ourselves. Lord Pan nor the other nobility in Neverhaven knew about us. We wanted to keep it that way.”
“Are there more of us?”
“Yes. Not many, and I’m probably the only one free of their Darling.”
I scrunch my brow, more questions fighting for space in my brain. “I thought I broke the Darling curse.”
“In Lord Pan’s household, but not throughout Neverhaven. The only way to break a Darling is through the blood freely given by the binder, or if the binder dies. The latter becomes quite difficult to accomplish when you can’t cause harm in your chains.”
The weight of her words presses upon my chest. I’m still so tired. “So I need to kill a whole realm of dickheads?”
She laughs. “No, not on your own. We have the rebel army to help. But we’re hopeful some can be persuaded without causing death.”
“You have a rebel army?”
She nods. “I couldn’t allow myself to be completely helpless in my Darling.
I found the means to sneak messages and help the rebellion in any way I could—passing notes, hiding spies, simple tasks.
” She nods to the glass window attached to the manor.
I turn to catch a group of brown-cloaked men with swords at their waist walking through the castle halls.
“They’re already here to assist as you settle into your new role as Queen.”
“Queen?” I nearly choke on the word.
She shrugs. “Or Lady, or whatever it is you want to be called.”
“What if I don’t want to be called anything. I don’t want to rule a kingdom. Shit, I never even graduated high school.”
She places her hand over mine. “Luckily for you, I have no idea what high school is, so I doubt it’s necessary to sit on the throne.”
I cluck with a smile. “Is my magical blood that I barely know anything about enough to qualify me as a leader?”
She shrugs. “Blood has been the only qualification since the beginning of our recorded history. At least you’re not an arsehole.”
“Oh, I am most definitely an asshole.”
She considers my words. “True, but a funny one at least.”
“You think I’m funny? Wow, I’ll never let you live that down.”
She clucks. “Don’t let it go to your head.”
“Of course not. How would my crown fit?” I run my fingers through my hair.
“Believe me, they always make them fit.”
We’re laughing now, falling back to the earth. The moment stills as I examine her, unable to imagine what she must have endured to live such a long time in captivity. All I had to do was fuck some hot men. She did the hard part. “Rosalia, you should be the one to rule.”
She laughs. “No, thank you. I haven’t kept a secret of my pixie blood for my whole life just to declare it to the world.”
“But no one could hurt you if you’re in charge.”
“Oh, just like no one could hurt Lord Pan?”
Big yikes.
“So it’s okay if I die?”
“No, that would be shite, since we need a pixie on the throne to revive Neverhaven, but your identity is already known. It’s the safest option.”
Her words ring true, but I’m still not sold on the job. “Did you plan this all along?”
“Not this exact scenario, but when I discovered you could speak freely, I slowly put the pieces together. I know those boys. They were desperate for a mothering figure.”
“Um, ew.”
“Well, you’re not their mother. But they need someone to tell them the truth, while holding an ounce of humanity.
At first, I thought you could free yourself, run away, and use your power to free others.
My plans evolved as I realized just how far you could bend those boys.
You could convince them to let you free and claim the throne. ”
“That seems like a lot to put on their mommy issues.”
“Plus you’re attractive.”
“Wow, two compliments in one day? Way to brown-nose your new queen.” The words sting my lips, even as I smile at my joke.
“Ah, so you do like the title of Queen?” She smirks.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself.” But the more Rosalia talks, the harder it is to resist. Is this what I wanted? A way to stay in Neverhaven without being a captive? But ruling and freedom are a far cry from each other, and I’m not sure if I’m cut out for it.
Rosalia hands me the newly bloomed rose, and I bring it to my nose, the sweet scent calming me slightly.
“You know, you wouldn’t have to rule alone.”
“Oh, you would help me?”
“Of course.” She gives my hand a squeeze. “Besides, you can choose one of the Pans to stand beside you. I bet both of them would grant you loyalty for killing their father, who apparently is more cruel than I thought, since he bound both of his sons to a Darling.”
“One of them?”
She slaps my arm. “You want both?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know what I want.”
“Well, you'd better figure it out. You took the crown off Lord Pan’s head and placed it on your own. The land can sense the shift of power, but until your heart is certain, Neverhaven won’t completely heal.
“Shit, talk about pressure.”
“Sorry.”
“No, you’re not.”
“No, not really.”
I shake my head with a smile. “I guess there’s really no choice to make. It’s not like I can let a whole realm of people die.”
“You can.”
I raise an eyebrow. “I can?”
“Yes, but luckily for us, you’re decent. I knew it the moment I met you.”
“How? By my foul mouth?”
She smiles, her eyes light up, pink swirling in the green. I can barely believe the color is possible. “I could just tell. Perhaps it’s another of my pixie talents.”
The moment got too gushy too fast, the pressure building at the back of my eyes and threatening to ruin my bad-ass appearance, which I pretend exists.
I sniffle and examine the greenhouse around me—my greenhouse now, I suppose.
“Well, you’re in luck. I’m thinking about staying—for my own selfish reasons, of course. ”
“Of course.”
We share a sneaky smile. Except I’m not totally joking, there are two selfish reasons I want to stay in Neverhaven—two pieces of my heart that only work if I have both.