Chapter 28
MARA
Christ, how I hate that voice.
Although it’s the last thing in the world I want to do, I turn on leaden legs. Montgomery runs an unhurried look up and down my body, and I loathe that I can recognize the heat of lust darkening his gaze when it lingers on the exposed sliver of my breast as Emmaline nurses.
“Well, this isn’t something I thought I’d enjoy, but I must say I’m rather intrigued.” His voice roughens with interest. After a moment that drags on for too long, he nods towards the other chair covered in dirt and dust. “Bring it closer and have a seat.”
Eyes are better than hands. The ugly reminder repeats in my head as I drag the chair closer. Of course he couldn’t be bothered to use the cane at his feet to move it.
Montgomery leans back and widens his legs as I settle uneasily in my seat. “How long does she eat for?”
I fix my gaze past his shoulder and shrug. Opening his legs is a subtle threat I refuse to respond to. “Until she’s full.” More like fifteen minutes lately, but maybe I can get twice that. Every second spent feeding her gives Warren more time to find us.
“Pull your dress down more.”
Endure, Mara. It will pass.
I can’t help the way my lip curls in distaste at his low command, and of course he picks up on it.
“You don’t want to do that for me?” he asks mildly.
Too mildly.
My thighs tense in anticipation for his response.
“My, my…how rebellious you’ve become.” A gleam sparks in his eyes as he crosses his arms. “Let’s see how many punishments you rack up before the hour is through. Tell me, how does your husband correct your insolence?”
If my jaw clenched any tighter, my teeth would break. “He’s never laid a hand on me. He loves me.”
Montgomery barks a short laugh. “Loves you? No, Mara. A man doesn’t love a woman like you. How far your legs or throat can widen to accommodate him, yes, but don’t think higher of yourself than that.”
Don’t give him what he wants. Don’t react. I compose my face back into its stony mask.
“Do you get on your knees for him, hmm? When he’s inside you, do you cry as prettily for him as you do for me?”
From the corner of my eye, I can see Montgomery reach between his legs to palm himself with his marked hand. Of all the events from the past hour, this is the one that instantly chills my blood as the threat suddenly becomes more real than ever before.
Warren was supposed to be the last man I ever saw like this.
He promised me.
He promised.
“No,” I say, unable to mask the rawness in my voice.
“Nothing I do for him is anything like what you made me do. My husband couldn’t be more different than you.
” Comparing the two is an insult to Warren even if only to show how vastly dissimilar they are.
He would never abuse me or any other woman or child in any way.
“You know your punishment is only going to be worse the more that mouth of yours disrespects me. This is why you need to be with a man who knows how to put you in your place.” My gaze crashes back to Montgomery’s. “But do go on, Mara. I’ll have you back in hand in no time.”
The hell he will. If he thinks—
I stop my internal tirade when his cruel lips form a flat smile and the hand between his thighs moves more quickly.
He likes this.
The man is getting hard by goading me into earning a punishment.
“I’m sorry.” The apology is like sandpaper to my tongue, but as long as Emmaline is in my arms, I need to appease him. Stroke his ego with my words so I don’t have to touch his cock. “I only meant that no one is like you.”
“Hmm.” I can tell by his tone that he sees through me. He nods down to Emmaline, hand lazily stroking himself. “Is she done?”
Hot bile churns as my stomach twists itself into knots. Not for the threat towards me, but to have him touching himself while looking and speaking about my baby. I switch her to my other breast and cup her cheek to protect her from his gaze. “Not yet.”
A quick backwards glance shows Sullivan cocooned in the blankets again. Please let him be asleep and not hearing any of this.
Montgomery abandons his cock to cross his arms, and his birthmark is hidden from view. “How did you get a white man to marry someone like you?”
Someone like me. As if someone like me wasn’t worthy and deserving of love. “I didn’t.”
“Oh, come now, Mara.” His brow dips. “You must have done something. What was it, hmm?”
“It was all him.” The simple truth leaves my lips on a sigh as the memory plays out in my head. “He found me. Carried me out of the back of a wagon and into a doctor’s house.”
“Why the doctor?”
I smile faintly at his frown. “Because I was about to give birth.”
“To a bastard child.”
“She’s not a bastard.”
“Don’t be ignorant. Of course she—”
“She isn’t,” I interrupt with vehemence. “He had a judge marry us before she was born.”
Montgomery throws his head back in a harsh laugh. “He must be a simpleton. Because what white man of sound mind would be so stupid as to take on the burden you and an illegitimate child would bring?”
Let him laugh. He won’t find it funny when he loses the upper hand.
When his mirth fades, he studies me more closely, running his insidious gaze over my breasts. “Perhaps I’m being too harsh on him. If ever I were to settle down and marry, I would most assuredly keep you on as mistress. And you wouldn’t even have to use your womanly wiles to trick me.”
Good God, what complete and utter hell. That’s never going to happen.
I fasten my attention to the window and force myself to breathe away the nausea as Montgomery’s hand disappears between his thighs again.
Raindrops streak down the pane, and a clap of thunder drowns out the quickened breathing of the vile man pleasuring himself in front of me.
It’s just me.
Me against Montgomery, his cane, and maybe his gun if he gets close enough.
Two innocent children who need protection above all.
I run a thumb over my baby’s chubby cheek as her latch grows weaker and her eyes fight the pull of sleep.
She’s exhausted, and with good reason. It will be better if she sleeps through whatever happens next.
Then this can be only a bad dream that she never remembers.
With the rainfall masking her quiet sounds and my hand obscuring her face, Montgomery doesn’t notice when she abandons my breast.
I don’t dare tell him, either.
I hold her until my arms ache.
Until his eyes narrow in suspicion.
“That’s enough,” he commands. “Put the child down and come here.”
There’s no more stalling. My entire backside burns from where he stares into it as I carry a slumbering Emmaline back to the corner and settle her in beside a softly snoring Sullivan.
Soon, my darlings. Soon this will all be over.
“No more excuses, Mara. I can see they’re asleep. Now come to me.” Slimy darkness oozes from his words as his voice hardens, and a chill that has nothing to do with the cold dampness of my dress runs through me.
Wearing the blanket like a shield, I fasten my dress to hide my exposed breasts and stand to face my living nightmare.
Time slows down with every step I take towards the devil, almost as if I’m walking through a thick fog.
Like an old friend, a field of chrysanthemums appears in my mind as it did in my life before Warren.
Their shades of deep pink, orange, and red are just as beautiful as they always were, and it’s altogether too tempting to accept the sweet escape they offer.
But my empty arms remind me I can’t disappear into the flowers anymore. I have to stay present and endure this for my two children.
Montgomery’s mouth stretches in a wide smile when I stop before him. Evil shouldn’t have such straight, white teeth. The hand with the birthmark reaches for me. I hate myself for it, but I can’t stop myself from flinching. Not when my body knows what his touch means.
His amused chuckle tells me it doesn’t escape his notice.
“Look at you. Pretending to be so strong when we both know you remember our lessons very well.” Deceptively gentle, he traces the edge of the blanket before yanking it away.
It was a futile layer of protection, but without it, the cooler air of the room seeps in.
Now a wet dress is all that stands between us.
An abrupt shiver overtakes me, and his mouth settles into the familiar lines of cruelty as he stares at my hard nipples.
“Cold, are you?” His brow lifts, then flattens at my silence. “Answer me.”
“Yes.” Lying serves no purpose.
“Good.”
I blink, taken aback at his pleased tone.
“Your punishment is amended for covering your tits when I never told you to do so. You will remain in your wet garments until they’re dry.”
I bite my lip to hold in the grim smile that wants to break free. If only he knew I’d willingly put on ten soaked dresses and wear them for hours on end just to stay covered.
“Undo your hair. There we go,” he says as I reluctantly release it so it falls around my face.
“This is how I remember you.” His dirty eyes catch on the swell of my breasts.
“Well, almost. You certainly never had tits like these when you were with me. I suppose I’ll have to keep you with child so they’ll stay like that. ”
I swallow down the bile that wants to erupt. Just play along for now. He can choke on his words later.
“Kneel.” He’s making a mistake by having me so close to his genitals, but I drop into the submissive position he craves to see me in. Montgomery laughs mockingly. “So you do know how to obey. Do you love him? This…this husband of yours?”
Sweet memories push against the heaviness of the moment as I think of Warren. I remember his soft, concerned expression when he found me in the wagon.
The way his chest pressed against my back as he held me through childbirth and then proudly called himself Emmaline’s papa.
When he carried me in from the rain, changed my clothes, and brushed my wet hair before rocking with me in front of the fireplace.
Our first kiss.
Our last kiss.